人狗对对碰（2000）

.但可以肯定的是，这栋楼里的每个人都和我一样兴奋
...but certainly, every human being in this building is as excited as I am.
-真的吗？你写了一本书，不是吗？-是的。我做到了。跟着领头走。
- Really? You wrote a book, didn't you? - I did. I did. Follow the Lead.
一本关于服从的书。狗的基本服从训练。
A book about obedience. Basic obedience training for dogs.
如你所知，我有一系列的学校--
As you know, I have a franchise of schools around--
我不知道这个。所以这就是你喜欢的地方。
I didn't know that. So this is right down your alley.
我去过一次那些顺从的地方。
I went to one of those obedience places once.
本来一切都很顺利，直到他们把滚烫的蜡烛蜡洒在我的私处。哈哈。
It was going well till they spilled hot candle wax on my private parts. Ha, ha.
我只是在开玩笑。我知道你在说什么。
I'm just kidding. I know what you're talking about.
斯特凡：因为她是赢家。
STEFAN: Because she's a winner.
因为她是美国小姐。
Because she is Miss America.
你就是这样的人。小小的美国小姐。
That's who you are. Little Miss America.
来吧，我在试着给她梳理毛发。
Come on, I'm trying to groom her.
她很好。她很好。你猜怎么着？
She's fine. She's fine. You know what?
她感到欣喜若狂。你觉得自己很自负，不是吗？
She's feeling chuffed. Feeling full of herself, aren't you?
我想让她做的是让她冷静一点。
What I want her to do is calm down a little bit.
-只是不要做前面的事.让我，-好的很好。
- Just don't do the front. Let me-- - Okay. Fine.
世界上你最想要的是什么？
What do you want more than anything in the world?
你想要那条大蓝♥丝♥带♥吗？嗯，嗯。
Do you want the big blue ribbon? Uh-huh.
你想要红色的吗？不是的。你想要黄色的吗？不是的。
Do you want red? No. Do you want yellow? No.
你想要蓝色的。
You want the blue.
你在我面前看到了什么？
What do you see in front of me?
你会看到你前面有一条蓝♥丝♥带♥。
You see a blue ribbon in front of you.
你想要吗？抓住它！抓住它！
You want it? Grab it! Get it!
她没在听你说！她吓坏了。
She's not listening to you! She's freaking out.
抓住那只忙碌的蜜蜂。你想要你那只忙碌的蜜蜂吗？
Get the busy bee. You want your busy bee?
你得到了忙碌的蜜蜂。我需要修剪她的胡须。
You get the busy bee. I need to trim her whiskers.
它在板条箱里！
It's in the crate!
你为什么不一开始就把它拿出来呢？
Why didn't you have it out to begin with?
在板条箱的什么地方？
Where in the crate?
-它不在这里.不是这样的。-它应该在板条箱里！
- It's not in here. It's not. - It should be in the crate!
它不在板条箱里！我刚告诉过你！
It's not in the crate! I just told you that!
天啊，汉密尔顿，如果她拿不到她的玩具，她会发疯的！
God, Hamilton, if she doesn't get her toy, she's gonna flip out!
看见?它不在这里。
See? It's not in here.
你把它落在酒店了。你去把她那只忙碌的蜜蜂叫来！
You left it at the hotel. You go get her busy bee!
去酒店忙碌起来吧，蜜蜂！
Go to the hotel and get busy bee!
跑!跑!去!
Run! Run! Go!
妈妈去拿玩具了。别担心。不，我们只是讨论了一下。
Mommy's getting the toy. Don't worry. No, we just had a little discussion.
看我。别看其他任何人。
Look at me. Don't look at anybody else.
别看那些肥屁♥股♥的失败者或怪胎！你看着我！
Don't look at the fat-ass losers or freaks! You look at me!
-这里的第一类是什么？-猎犬组
- And what's the first category here? - The hound group.
你什么东西都有你的手指头。
You have your finger on everything.
猎犬要出来了。这些是一些不寻常的狗。
The hounds are coming out. These are some unusual dogs.
播音员：猎犬可以分为两组，视觉组和嗅觉组。
ANNOUNCER: The hounds can be divided into two groups, sight and scent.
特雷弗：这是我们今晚要看的七组中的第一组……
TREVOR: This is the first of seven groups that we'll see this evening...
.随着狗狗向最佳表演赛冠军进军.
...as the dogs progress towards the Best in Show title.
-法官是埃迪·富兰克林。-那是伊迪.伊迪·富兰克林。
- The judge is Eddie Franklin. - That's Edie. Edie Franklin.
-伊迪？-是的一位来自新泽西州的退休教师。
- Edie? - Yes. A retired teacher from New Jersey.
巴克：你说得对。那是一位女士。
BUCK: You're right. That's a lady.
她把他们彻底检查了一遍。所有的评委都那么彻底吗？
She gives them a thorough going-over. Are all judges that thorough?
-是的。-她看着牙齿……
- Yes. - She looks at the teeth....
检查所有属性是非常重要的。
It's very important that all attributes are examined.
牙齿，眼睛，耳朵，牙龈
Teeth, eyes, ears, gums--
唉哟!我看对了吗？她把手放哪了？
Ouch! Do I see right? Where's she putting her hand?
嗯，她只是在检查狗的睾丸区域以确保……
Well, she's just checking out the dog's testicular area to make sure...
-哇.-.一切都完好无损
- Whoa. - ...that everything is intact.
我讨厌和伊迪·富兰克林法官约会，让她来评判我。
Hate to go out on date with Judge Edie Franklin, have her judge me.
那可不好玩。
That would be no fun.
请帮我把你的狗带下来再回来好吗？
Would you please take your dog down and back for me, please?
[人群鼓掌]
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
巴克：现在她要养狗了--
BUCK: Now she's having the dogs--
为什么他们让他们跑了，然后又跑回去？
Why do they have them run away and then back up?
他们在找什么？
What are they looking for?
看狗的步态和动作，看小角度。
For the dog's gait and movement, to see the small angles.
所以，伊迪将会特别检查这件事。
So, Edie will be checking out this thing in particular.
评判女人的好方法。
Good way to judge a woman.
让她跑开，然后再跑回去。
Have her run away and then run back.
你知道吗，卡纳比街上的那些鸟。
You know, those birds on Carnaby Street.
我习惯于看到他们从我身边逃走，而不是向我跑来。
I'm used to seeing them run away from me more often than run towards me.
呃，那是什么？那是一只猎犬，不是吗？
Uh, now what is that? That's a bloodhound, isn't it?
特雷弗：哦，这是一条巨大的狗。
TREVOR: Oh, this is a tremendous dog.
我想说两三年后，这只狗可能会成为冠军。
I would say in two to three years, this could be a champion dog.
我觉得今年可能有点不成熟。
I think it may be a tad immature for this year.
只是想争取一点上场时间。
Just trying to get a little playing time.
帮我把你的狗带下来回来，好吗？
And take your dog down and back for me, please?
巴克：你知道什么会很好笑吗？这只是我脑海中的一个想法。
BUCK: You know what would be funny? Just an idea off the top of my head.
他为什么不戴上一顶夏洛克·福尔摩斯的帽子。
Why didn't he put a Sherlock Holmes hat on it...
.然后把烟斗塞进他嘴里？
...and put a pipe in his mouth?
他们可以用滑稽的方式打扮一只狗吗？
Are they allowed to dress up a dog in a funny way?
不，这不是这些节目的目的。
No, that's not the purpose of these shows.
但这真的会让观众兴奋起来，你知道吗？
But it would really get the crowd going, you know?
-那顶带烟斗的帽子？-当然
- The hat with a pipe? - Absolutely.
你可以让它看起来像是烟从烟斗里冒出来。
You could make it look like the smoke's coming out of the pipe.
-我想那会有点危险.-哈哈。我会从中得到乐趣的。
- I think that would be a little dangerous. - Ha, ha. I'd get a kick out of it.
现在，那看起来像一只跑得很快的狗。那比灰狗还快吗？
Now, that looks like a fast dog. Is that faster than a greyhound?
-嗯-在比赛中，谁会第一？
- Well-- - In a race, who would come in first?
如果你给他开个小马，去--
If you had a little jockey on him, going--
呃，让我问一下，如果你把他们放进足球队.
Uh, let me ask, if you put them on a football team...
……哪个是宽接球手，哪个是你的近距离接球手？
...which would be the wide receiver, which would be your tight end?
谁能走得最远、最快？
Who can go the farthest, the fastest?
我不认识会踢足球的狗。
I don't know any dogs that play football.
哈哈。我和你一起玩得很开心。
Ha, ha. I'm having some fun with you.
现在是紧张时刻。她会选谁呢？她在近距离地看着他们。
This is tension time. Who will she pick? She's looking them over close.
特雷弗：是的，她对这群人非常小心。
TREVOR: Yes, she's been very careful with this group.
他们现在能做些什么来动摇法官吗？
Is there anything they can do now to sway the judge?
什么都没有。在这一点上，只需希望和祈祷即可。
Nothing at all. Just hope and pray at this point.
-请把猎犬带出来。巴克：哦，呵呵。这真是个惊喜。
- Bring the bloodhound out, please. BUCK: Oh, ho. That's a surprise.
[观众的掌声]
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
请把小猎犬带出来。请坐。
Bring the beagle out, please. Please sit down.
请给我一份猎狼。
The borzoi, please.
请给我这个小东西。
And the petit, please.
好的。
All right.
我们的小夏洛克·福尔摩斯狗就在外面，是吗？
Our little Sherlock Holmes dog is out there, huh?
即使没有帽子和烟斗。
Even without the hat and the pipe.
所以现在只剩下四个了。
So it's down to four now.
特雷弗：她正在最后看一眼她挑选的四个人：
TREVOR: She's taking a final look at the four she's picked:
猎犬、猎犬、猎狼和PBGV。
The bloodhound, the beagle, the borzoi, and the PBGV.
这就是我想要的！一。二。
That's the way I want them! One. Two.
三。还有四个。
Three. And four.
就这样了。这是命令。
And that's it. That's the order.
坦率地说，我非常惊讶。
Frankly, I'm very surprised.
-心烦意乱。新手过来了。特雷弗：这绝对是件令人心烦意乱的事。
- An upset. The rookie came through. TREVOR: It's definitely an upset.
这是一个巨大的成就。
That's a tremendous achievement.
你试过找床底吗？
Have you tried looking under the bed?
我当然看过床底下了。
Of course I've looked under the bed.
这就是你丢东西时看的地方。
That's where you look when you lose things.
你!她来这里干什么？
You! What's she here for?
我30分钟前就给你打过电♥话♥了！你自称是女佣吗？
I called you 30 minutes ago! You call yourself a maid?
你来自哪儿？
Where are you from?
我认识移♥民♥局的人-我是美国公民
- I know people at INS! - I'm an American citizen.
-他们会开着面包车来接你.-我会处理的.
- They'll come in a van and take you... - I'll handle it.
.回到你来的地方！
...back to where you came from!
你以为你是谁？我花了20分钟
Who do you think you are? I've spent 20 minutes--
梅格：去拿你的证件！-你对狗的玩具太焦躁了。
MEG: Go get your papers! - You're too agitated over a dog's toy.
-狗的玩具？-是的。
- A dog's toy? - Yes.
你不认识我的狗。你显然不认识我的狗。
You don't know my dog. You obviously don't know my dog.
-楼下有一家宠物店。-楼下的宠物店？
- There's a pet store right downstairs. - A pet store down the stairs?
-是的。-你是巫师吗？天才？
- Yes. - Are you a wizard? A genius?
你为什么不早点告诉我？
Why didn't you tell me before?
谢谢你的帮助，你这个愚蠢的酒店经理！
Thanks for your help, you stupid hotel manager!
是啊，看到那件外套了吗？
Yeah, see the coat?