人狗对对碰（2000）

这到底是怎么回事？
What the devil is going on?
他们只是..。它在繁殖。
They just.... It's breeding.
他们把它们养得很小。
They breed them small.
你会认为他们会想要更大的，比如柚子或西瓜。
You'd think they'd want them bigger, like grapefruits or watermelons.
现在，让我问一下，桌子上的是什么？
Now, let me ask, what's that up on the table?
特雷弗：那是诺里奇号♥。巴克：啊哈。
TREVOR: That's the Norwich. BUCK: Aha.
她在仔细观察诺里奇号♥。
She's taking a close look at the Norwich.
那个训练员在我看来很眼熟。
That handler looks familiar to me.
夫人，请您把狗再带到后面去好吗？
Madam, could you bring the dog further down in back, please?
[人群鼓掌]
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
那是我的狗。
That's my dog.
巴克：我有没有提过我为你写一本书的想法？
BUCK: Did I mention my idea for a book for you?
女人给她们的狗洗澡。穿着裁剪牛仔裤和T恤。
Women bathing their dogs. In cutoff jeans and T-shirts...
.还有肥皂
...and with the soap.
它是如何弄湿的，然后是水，让你的想象力自♥由♥奔放。
How it gets all wet, then the water, let your imagination run wild.
让五月花养犬俱乐部在它后面，赚几块钱。
Get the Mayflower Kennel Club behind it, make a few bucks.
这就是一切的意义所在。把你的名字写在上面。
That's what it's all about. Put your name on it.
特雷弗：嗯，我不确定……-和特雷弗·贝克维斯一起给你的狗洗澡
TREVOR: Well, I'm not sure.... - Bathing Your Dog With Trevor Beckwith.
用狗狗的方式来做。你想出来的，我不是文学家。
Doing It Doggy Style. You come up with that, I'm not the literary guy.
巴克：好的。鲁斯·科利尔法官正在仔细查看。
BUCK: All right. Judge Ruth Collier is looking very closely.
一。
One.
二。
Two.
-三个。四。-是的！
- Three. Four. - Yes!
谢谢。噢。
Thank you. Oh.
这里。
Here.
这他妈的是怎么一回事？
What the hell is this?
-这是个玩具.-是只公鸡还是什么的.
- It's a toy. - It's a rooster or something.
把蜜蜂拿出来。蜜蜂在哪里？
Get out the bee. Where's the bee?
我找不到了。我去了酒店，我问。
I couldn't find it. I went to the hotel, I asked.
你去了半个小时就带着这个紫色的东西回来了？
You were gone for a half-hour and you came back with this purple thing?
别朝我吐口水！
Don't spit at me!
别对我大喊大叫！唉哟!
Don't you yell at me! Ouch!
你来处理吧！
You take care of it!
-我会处理好的！-住手！只是..。
- I will take care of it! - Stop it! Just....
我们请到的是米尔班克博士，五月花养犬俱乐部的主席。
We're here with Dr. Millbank, President of the Mayflower Kennel Club.
医生，让我问你一件事。我肩膀有点滑囊炎。
Doctor, let me ask you something. I got a little bursitis in my shoulder.
您推荐热的还是冷的？
Do you recommend heat or cold?
-我不是那种医生。-我知道.
- I'm not that kind of doctor. - I know that.
我只是在开玩笑。他不是那种医生。
I'm just kidding. He's not that kind of doctor...
……但是他很有幽默感，我们喜欢开怀大笑。
...but he's got such a good sense of humor, we like to have a few laughs.
这个问题一直困扰着我和很多人：
Question that's always bothered me and a lot of people:
五月花，加上费城，不用动脑筋，对吧？
Mayflower, combined with Philadelphia, no-brainer, right?
因为这就是五月花号♥降落的地方。
Because this is where the Mayflower landed.
事实并非如此，事实证明哥伦布实际上是踏上了西印度群岛的某个地方。
Not so, it turns out Columbus actually set foot somewhere in the West Indies.
鲜为人知的事实。
Little-known fact.
五月花这个名字是如何传到贵格会城市的？
How does the name Mayflower get up to the Quaker City?
嗯，你可能还记得，五月花号♥上的其实并不是哥伦布。
Well, it wasn't actually Columbus on the Mayflower, as you probably remember.
他确实降落在马萨诸塞州的普利茅斯岩。
And he did land in Plymouth Rock, Massachusetts.
巴克：他们在几个地方着陆，因为那里有尼娜……
BUCK: They landed in several places, because there's the Nina...
-…平塔，几个……-还有圣玛丽亚号♥(Santa María)。
- ...the Pinta, a couple of them.... - And the Santa María.
-他们都降落在不同的地方。-不完全是.
- They all landed in different places. - Not really.
嗯，我不是历史学家。
Well, I'm not the historian.
那件事让生产人员来处理吧。
Let the production people deal with that one.
正确的。无所谓。
Right. It doesn't matter.
播音员：体育团体可以分为四类。
ANNOUNCER: The sporting group can be divided into four categories.
巴克：那么这些就是运动犬了。这些是运动员。
BUCK: So these are the sporting dogs. These are the athletes.
这些都是狗界的运动健将，你说呢？
These are the jocks of the dog world, wouldn't you say?
这些是你会经常看到的狗。
These are the dogs that you'll often see...
.挂在博物馆和古典绘画的墙上。
...hanging on the wall in museums and classic paintings.
这个团体实际上被称为..。
This group is actually known as...
.在英国的狩猎队。
...the hunting group in the United Kingdom.
巴克：法官是弗雷达·邓洛普法官。
BUCK: And the judge is Judge Freda Dunlop.
她也是非常非常慢的.
She is also very, very slow...
-.而且意志坚定特雷弗：非常深思熟虑。
- ...and determined. TREVOR: Very deliberate.
现在，我们看到的是魏玛拉纳，一只很棒的狗。
Now, we're seeing the Weimaraner, a wonderful dog.
巴克：那真是太美了。
BUCK: That's a beauty.
特雷弗：那是“灰幽灵”。
TREVOR: That's "The Grey Ghost."
哦，我很抱歉。趴下。
Oh, I'm sorry. Get down.
弗雷达：请管好你的狗。
FREDA: Please control your dog.
这不是一个好的开始。
That's not a good start.
就在这附近。我们再试一次。
Right around here. Let's try again.
这以前从来没有发生过，从来没有。
This has never happened before, ever.
对不起。我们要解雇你。我们要解雇这位先生。
I'm sorry. We're dismissing you. We're gonna dismiss this gentleman.
再给我们一次机会吧。
Just give us another chance.
-我很抱歉.我们要解雇你。汉密尔顿：不，让我再试一次。
- I'm sorry. We're dismissing you. HAMILTON: No, let me just try again.
这看起来不太好。
This does not look good.
他跟在她后面，就像她是火腿做的一样。
He went after her like she's made out of ham.
-我猜他是在搞老一套了.特雷弗：就是这样。是的，是的。
- And I guess he's getting the old heave-ho. TREVOR: That's it. Yes, yes.
-狗已经被原谅了。巴克：她走了。
- The dog has been excused. BUCK: She is gone.
汉密尔顿：走开，你这个该死的混♥蛋♥！
HAMILTON: Just get away, you goddamn asshole!
巴克：看到这种事发生，真是太可惜了。特雷弗：漂亮的狗。
BUCK: It's a shame to see that happen. TREVOR: Beautiful dog.
巴克：但他仍然是冠军。特雷弗：哦，是的。
BUCK: But he's still a champion. TREVOR: Oh, yes.
巴克：即使他带着耻辱离开。就像“无鞋乔”杰克逊一样。
BUCK: Even though he leaves in disgrace. Like "Shoeless Joe" Jackson.
他退出了联盟，但我们今天仍在谈论他。
He's out of the leagues, but we still talk about him today.
嗨。我想要..。
Hi. I'd like...
.一大桶爆米花，一半黄油，一半盐.
...an extra-large bucket of popcorn, half-butter, half-salt.
雪莉·安：我通常不会只是在这里……
SHERRI ANN: I wouldn't normally just be out here...
.呃，狼吞虎咽
...uh, pigging out.
但是，嗯..。
But, um...
.我现在有点紧张.事关重大。
...I'm a little nervous right now. There's a lot at stake.
你知道，我们已经赢了两场了。这将是我们第三次.
You know, we've had two wins. This would be our third...
.还有，嗯，我让莱斯利很紧张
...and, um, I'm making Leslie nervous.
我让自己很紧张。
I'm making myself very nervous.
我的紧张是，呃.
And my nervousness is, uh...
.正在感染莱斯利还有，嗯..。
...is rubbing off on Leslie. And, um....
我觉得我好像..。
I feel like I...
.我只是真的需要听从我内心的本能.
...I just really need to listen to my inner instinct...
.而且，嗯，我的内心本能告诉我：
...and, um, my inner instinct says:
“现在不要走。”
"Don't go right now."
所以，我不会出去的。
So, I'm not going out.
我会一直待在这里直到我收到另一条信息。
I'm gonna be right here until I get another message...
.远离我自己.
...from myself.
你在做什么，亲爱的？
What are you doing, honey?
他们马上就要看完非体育节目了。
They're just finishing up the Non-Sporting in a second.
我在找护手霜。你带了吗？
I'm looking for the hand cream. Did you bring any?
我有很多护手霜。但是我没有.
I've got a lot of hand cream. But I don't have the....
天哪，看看那个基松德。
God, look at that Keeshond.
这很可怕吗？
Is that hideous?
那在五月花酒店做什么？
What's that doing at the Mayflower?
哦，我的天哪。嗯，你可能想看看这个。
Oh, my goodness. Um, you might want to see this.
-是卡明斯小姐-啊-噢.
- It's Miss Cummings. - Uh-oh.
是不是卡明斯小姐。
Is it ever Miss Cummings.
天哪。
Oh, my God.
鲍勃·麦基，当我们需要你的时候你在哪里？
Bob Mackie, where are you when we need you?
史考特：她看起来像石油钻井平台上的鸡尾酒服务员。
SCOTT: She looks like a cocktail waitress on an oil rig.
不是--？看这管道。
Doesn't--? Look at the piping.
她试图保持镇静，但看看她脸上的恐惧。
She tries to be so self-possessed, but look at the terror in her face.
嗯，这都是对她的恐惧。
Well, it's all about fear for her.
嗯，这都是关于她的。
Well, it's all about her.
巴克：他在慢慢挑选。
BUCK: He's taking his time picking.
当然。
That's for sure.
特雷弗：再一次阻止他们。
TREVOR: And stopping them once again.
他是一位备受尊敬的法官。
He is a highly respected judge.
往往倾向于追求个性。
Often tends to go on personality.
我们在这次评选中当然很有个性。
And we've certainly got a lot of personality in this selection.
-你是第一名.二。-是的！
- You're number one. Two. - Yes!
法官：三个。还有四个。-非常感谢。
JUDGE: Three. And four. - Thank you very much.
嗯。看那只贵宾犬。她知道自己是赢家。
Yeah. Look at that poodle. She knows she's a winner.
看看她的训练员。那是一个快乐的小伙子。
And look at her handler. That is one happy fella.
那实际上是个女人。
That is actually a woman.