一日将尽（2018）

应付几个同志当然不成问题
he can handle a couple of flamers.
啊… gay下去…
Ah, ah, ah, ah, gayin' alive, gayin' alive
啊… gay下去…
Ah, ah, ah, ah, gayin' alive
gay下去…
Gayin' alive, gayin' alive
唱得好
That's good.
-谢了 -嘿
- Thank you. - Hey.
他在干嘛？
What's he doing?
那是凯尔玩的一个游戏
It's a game that Kyle plays.
选一首歌♥然后将其中一个字改成gay
You take a song and replace one of the words with the word gay.
对 而且还得合乎词意
Yeah, but it has to make sense.
对 布鲁斯 你可以唱一首吗？
Right, so Bruce, can you give us one?
可以 我想想看
Uh, yeah, let me think.
gay出你自己 gay出我自己
Gay you, gay me
大家一起gay
Gay for everyone
本来就该是这样
That's the way it should be.
-唱得好 布鲁斯 -超好
- Good job, Bruce. - So good.
好 换我
Oh okay, me.
活在当gay
No gay, but to-gay
天啊
Oh my god.
真是个好gay
It's a beautiful gay
别让它溜走
Don't let it get away
我有一首
Okay, okay, I got one guys
我刚认识你 这太疯狂
Hey I just met you and this is crazy
这是我的号♥码 打给我吧 gay贝
So here's my number, so call me gay-by.
不行
No, nope.
太糟了
That was painful.
不行
Nope.
-那我放弃 -行不通
- Well I give up. - It does not work.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
感谢你的努力
I appreciate the effort.
你有想到吗？
You got anything?
你来唱
You go.
拜托 这里很安全
Oh c'mon, this is a safe space.
这里没有人会批评你
Yeah, it's a no judgment zone.
你们不会想听的
You don't wanna hear me it,
你们不会想听我唱歌♥的
you don't wanna hear me sing.
拜托嘛
Please.
好吧 你们自找的
Ah okay, you asked for it.
就是这个gay…
This is the gay, this is the gay
上帝创造的 上帝…
That the Lord has made, that the Lord has
拜托 我只知道教会歌♥曲
C'mon, I only know church songs.
现在我们真的会被烧死
Now we're gonna burst into flames.
对啊 有可能喔
Yeah, a little bit.
这是斑马屋
This is the zebra house,
性倾向不被接受的青少年
where "sexually unacceptable" teens go
被父母或上帝逐出后会来这里
when their parents or God kicks them out.
我是双性人
I'm intersex, it means
生理上我不是男人或女人
I'm not biologically male or female.
我的内在算是某种混合体
My insides are kind of a mix up.
但我在基♥督♥教会成长
But I was raised in the Christian church
所以有机会听到那些关于
and I get to hear all these sermons
男人和女人的布道
about man and woman.
但我却不全然属于任一个性别
When I'm not strictly either.
我自认是流动性别
I identify as gender-fluid,
也就是说我觉得自己是男性也是女性
which means that I believe that I am both male and female.
我不适用于人们既定的性别二分法
I didn't fit into the exact binary that people thought I should.
或是我妈认定的性别
That my mom thought I fit into.
或是我生理上的性别
That physically I should have.
我第一次意识到自己与众不同
The first time that I thought something was different,
大概是在九岁的时候
I was probably about nine.
我五岁就开始上天主教学校
I was in Catholic school since I was five years old.
在那个年纪我就因为出柜
Actually got kicked out for coming out as gay
被学校退学了
at that point in my life.
我11岁的时候常为了
When I was 11, I used to fight with my mom
想穿我哥的衣服和我妈吵架
about wanting to wear my brother's clothes
因为我有四个哥哥
'cause I had four brothers.
我有七个兄弟姐妹
I have seven siblings.
当时我就知道我有些特质
I knew back then that something about me
比起一般女人是更男性化的
was way more masculine than just feminine.
人们问我 他们会说 所以你是同志咯
People ask me, they're like oh, so you're gay
我会回 不 我不是
and I'm like no, not gay.
我通常最先会被问的问题
It's always one of the first questions I get
或最常被问的就是 "你裤档里有什么？"
or the normal question of "What do you have in your pants?"
我会翻白眼然后回答他们
I just kind of roll my eyes and I answer people.
我心想 那很重要吗？
I'm like what does it matter though?
我的家人没有他们说的那么仁慈
My family aren't as loving as they say they are.
虽然他们说自己不批评他人
Even though they say that they do not judge others
他们爱邻居 那可能是真的
and they love thy neighbor, that might be true,
但对家人就不是那么回事了
but just not when it's in the family, you know?
我以前会呼喊上帝 问祂为什么
I used to cry out to God and ask him why,
如果是祂在子♥宫♥里塑造了我
why did, if he formed me in the womb,
为什么祂要选择把我塑造成这样
why did he choose to form me in this way.
我妈允许我回她家
My mother has allowed me back into her house,
但她的态度是 我不在乎你喜欢女生
but she's like I don't care if you like girls,
但你不要给我去变性
just don't be someone who's transgender.
别乱搞自己的性别
Just don't mess with your gender, you know.
那是上帝创造的
That's how God made you.
你已经用喜欢同性来证明
You've already proven that something's wrong
某个地方出了差错
by liking the same sex.
现在的我是克莉丝汀娜
This person that I am, Christina
不是用这个身体 而是用我 我的声音
isn't this body, it's me, it's a voice
去向这个世界发声
that I hope can speak to this world.
但我爱我妈
I love my mother, though.
她是一个很棒的女人
She is a wonderful woman.
我敬佩她并且永远爱她
I think the world of her and I'll always love my mommy.
就算有一天她不想要我叫她妈妈
Even if she doesn't want me to call her mommy one day.
只是觉得和家人齐聚一堂很难受
Just have a hard time having to sit around
因为他们都很喜欢对方
with my family as they're all happy
而我知道
with one another and knowing that
他们对我没有这样的感觉
they don't feel that way about me.
不知道我不在时 他们是怎么谈论我
Not knowing what they say about me when I'm not around.
我妈怎么跟朋友和家人说我的现况？
What does my mom tell her friends and her family that I'm doing?
我听说她根本没跟他们说我无家可归
I learned that she doesn't even tell 'em that I'm homeless.
我想知道她是怎么跟她所有朋友说的
I wonder what my mom tells all her friends.
我想知道她认为的完美子女是怎样的？
I wonder what's her idea of a perfect child.
而且我希望自己好到让她足以挂齿
And I wish that I was good enough to be that child worth just telling people about.
我晚上和周末会过来晃晃
I just come to hang out on nights and weekends.
这是唯一一个让我觉得受重视的地方
This is, this is the only place where I feel like I have a voice, you know?
好像我真的被当一回事
Like I actually matter.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
奈特…
Nate, Nate.
你在这里干嘛？
What are you doing here?
你跟踪我？
Were you following me?
没有
No.
你和他们一起来的？
So you're here with them.
校方会怎么想？
How's that gonna look to the administration?
听着 你不能告诉任何人我在这里
Look, you can't tell anybody I was here.
你追出来就为了说这个？
Is that really what you came out here to say?
我为什么要告诉他们？
Why am I gonna tell them, huh?
伍德曼博士 我下午在同志之家
Oh hey, Dr. Woodman, I was at my afternoon gay house
当时你的傀儡正好在场
when your puppet came visiting.
奈特 你为什么会在同志之家？
Oh why were you at that gay house, Nate?
因为我是同志
Because I'm gay.
然后我就完了
Yeah, I'd be done.
我们可以帮你
We could help you.
帮我？认真的？
Help, seriously?
我已经听你的帮助一个月了
I've heard a month of your help.
不用了 谢谢
No thank you.
你知道吗？不用担心
And you know what, don't worry.
我不会告诉别人你的小秘密
I'm not gonna tell anyone your little secret.