小行星城（2023）

the viewing of the astronomical ellipses
在今晚午夜前的高峰期，
at its peak just before midnight tonight,
最后是年度
and finally, the awarding of the annual
星期一的宴会午餐后获得希肯卢珀奖学金。
Hickenlooper Scholarship after Monday's banquet lunch.
现在，我将从颁发纪念章开始，
Now, I'll start by presenting the commemorative medals,
但首先，我要先做我的演讲
but first, I'll do my speech first,
你还会收到一个对开本作为纪念。
which you'll also receive in a folio edition as a souvenir.
第一章。
Chapter One.
我每天早上步行18英里去学校，挤羊奶，
I walked to school 18 miles each morning, milked the goats,
拔鸡毛，逃学，抓萤火虫，
plucked the chickens, played hooky, caught fireflies,
去酒吧裸泳，每晚祈祷
went skinny-dipping in the watering hole, said my prayers every night
每周都要被枫糖打两次。
and got whipped with a maple switch twice a week.
这就是生活。
That was life.
第二章。
Chapter Two.
我父亲参加了结束所有战争的战争，
My father went off to fight in the war to end all wars,
但没有，他剩下的东西
it didn't, and what was left of him
装在松木盒子里回来，上面插着一面旗帜。
came back in a pine box with a flag on top.
第二章结束。
End of Chapter Two.
接下来，我去了军官学校，
Next, I went to officer school,
20年就这样以梦幻般的速度过去了。
and 20 years passed at the speed of a dream.
一个妻子，一个儿子，一个女儿，一条贵宾犬。
A wife, a son, a daughter, a poodle.
第三章。另一场战争。
Chapter Three. Another war.
胳膊和腿像爆米花一样被炸飞，
Arms and legs blown off like popcorn,
眼珠被挖出来，无论是比喻上还是字面上。
eyeballs gouged out, figuratively and literally.
男人们装扮成穿着呼啦裙的女人，在棕榈叶下表演。
The men put on shows under the palm fronds dressed as women in hula skirts.
这就是生活。
That was life.
与此同时，别人的故事。
In the meantime, somebody else's story.
一个人想出一个数字，
A man thinks up a number,
除以1万亿，代入根号♥
divides it by a trillion, plugs it into the square root
地球周长的一半
of the circumference of the Earth
乘以原子分♥裂♥的速度，
multiplied by the speed of a splitting atom,
和 volilou， progress。
and voilà, progress.
我不是科学家。你。
I'm not a scientist. You are.
第三章结束。
End of Chapter Three.
少年天文爱好者和太空学员们，
Junior Stargazers and Space Cadets,
你进来的时候，我们都惊呆了
we watch transfixed as you enter
进入大脑和精神的未知领域。
into uncharted territories of the brains and spirit.
如果你想过一种美好、安静、平和的生活，
If you wanted to live a nice, quiet, peaceful life,
你生错了时间。
you picked the wrong time to get born.
这就是我的演讲。
That's my speech.
请注意，你们每个人都是自己安全的守护者。
Be notified, you are each the guardian of your own safety.
在接下来的演示中保持警惕。
Maintain alert caution throughout the following demonstrations.
致Ricky Cho，感谢他在航♥空♥感应领域的工作，
To Ricky Cho, for his work in the field of aeronautical induction,
Success.
the Collapsing Star Ribbon of Success.
献给Clifford Kellogg，感谢他在研究中的工作
To Clifford Kellogg, for his work in the study
，
of particle disintegration,
黑洞胜利徽章。
the Black Hole Badge of Triumph.
致黛娜·坎贝尔…
To Dinah Campbell...
它是由宇宙辐射而不是阳光驱动的。
It's fueled by cosmic radiation instead of sunlight.
《我》…对于她在植物加速领域的工作…
...for her work in the area of botanical acceleration...
不幸的是，它使所有的蔬菜都有毒。
Unfortunately, it makes all vegetables toxic.
《我》…红巨星荣誉绶带。
...the Red Giant Sash of Honor.
致Shelly Borden，感谢她的工作
To Shelly Borden, for her work
在矿物制♥造♥领域…
in the realm of mineral fabrication...
我合成了一种外星元素。
I synthesized an extraterrestrial element.
明年它将被添加到元素周期表中。
It's going to be added to the periodic table next year.
《我》…遥远星云月桂冠。
...the Distant Nebula Laurel Crown.
致Woodrow Steenbeck
To Woodrow Steenbeck
以表彰他在天文成像领域的工作…
for his work in the sphere of astronomical imaging...
它可能在开♥发♥中有应用
It may have applications in the development
星际广♥告♥。
of interstellar advertising.
《我》…白矮星成就勋章。
...the White Dwarf Medal of Achievement.
我们的旅行到此结束。
Our tour ends here.
谢谢大家的关注，谢谢大家
Thank you for your attention, and thank you
感谢拉金斯基金会的慷慨资助。
to the Larkings Foundation for their generous funding.
-这些脉冲是什么意思?——什么?
- What do those pulses indicate? - What?
哦，哔哔声和哔哔声?我们不知道。
Oh, the beeps and blips? We don't know.
来自外太空的无法破译的无线电发射。
Indecipherable radio emissions from outer space.
-可能是转移注意力。-它会改变吗?
-Probably a red herring. -Does it change ever?
据我所知没有。
Not to my knowledge.
-也许是约会。-这是约会?
-It's a date, maybe. -It's a date?
-在银河日历上。药水。
-On the galactic calendar. -Maybe.
玛丽，我们认为这是银河系日历上的一个日期。
Mary, we think it's a date on the galactic calendar.
——什么?哇。-总是今天吗?
- What? Wow. - Is it always today?
《我》 Yippee-yay
Yippee-yay
今天没有婚礼钟声
There'll be no wedding bells for today
我得到了马刺叮当响叮当响叮当…
I got spurs that jingle jangle, jingle...
我们感谢你的芥末。
We thank thee for the mustard.
我们感谢你的美味，我们感谢你的洋葱。
We thank thee for the relish, and we thank thee for the onions.
-谢谢你的泡菜，我们…——头计数。
-We thank thee for the pickles, and we... -Head count.
一。两个。
-One. -Two.
其中包括3名。四线。
-Three. -Four.
列入。英尺六英寸。
-Five. -Six.
德怀特?德怀特在哪儿?八。
-Dwight? Where's Dwight? -Eight.
——德怀特?德怀特?—存在的概率小于0.0000%
- Dwight? Dwight? - Less than 0.0000% chance exists
整个宇宙的外星生命。
of extraterrestrial life in the entire universe.
德怀特·!-这是科学事实。
-Dwight! -It's a scientific fact.
除了太空虫和微型蠕虫。
Other than space bugs and microscopic worms.
我坚决不同意。-我也是。
-I assertively disagree. -So do I.
-这不是科学事实。-它甚至不是一个数字。
-It's not a scientific fact. -It's not even a number.
-请把泡菜递给我。-辣椒怎么样?
-Pass the pickles, please. -How's the chili?
-好吧，只要你加了辣酱。-谢谢。
-Fine, once you add the hot sauce. -Thank you.
炯炯有神的眼睛?-考虑常数…
- Sparkler? - Consider the constants...
无尽的空间和无法测量的时间。
endless space and immeasurable time.
可能性增加了无限倍。
The likelihood is increased by a factor of infinity.
-你从哪弄来的?-酒吧机。
-Where'd you get that? -The cantina machine.
-酒吧贩卖♥♥机在哪?-酒吧机器?
- Where's the cantina machine? - The cantina machine?
你脸上戴着这个能看清什么吗?
Can you see anything with those on your face?
嗯。
Hmm.
哦,诅咒。你对于关注度高的……
Oh, gadzooks. Wh-What'd you...
你做了什么要受这种惩罚?
What did you do to deserve that?
没什么。-谁打了你?
-Nothing. -Who hit you?
没有人。
Nobody.
这是油彩，让我感觉像我的角色。
It's greasepaint, to feel like my character.
哦。她是怎么把眼睛打青的?
Oh. How does she get a black eye?
在故事里。
In the story.
她在故事里没有。
Well, she doesn't in the story.
-在里面。-好的。
-It's on the inside. -Okay.
-反正应该是这样的。-在里面。好吧。
-It's supposed to be, anyway. -It's on the inside. All right.
拉金斯基金会声称是永久性的，
The Larkings Foundation claims permanent,
无可争辩的权利。——是对的。
-incontestable rights. -That's right.
他们是我们的。我们拥有它们。无可争辩的权利
-They're ours. We own them. -Incontestable rights
所有专利或发明的派生
to all patents or inventions derived
从任何和每一个提交，无一例外。
from any and every submission, without exception.
不适合青少年。阅读细则。
Not for teenagers. Read the fine print.
这些项目都属于山姆大叔。
The projects all belong to Uncle Sam.
我把它叫做“绕三圈而返回而不被大气层烧毁”。
I call it "Triple Orbit and Return without Burning Up in the Atmosphere."
你为什么一个人坐在那里?
Why are you sitting there all by yourself?
-你。嗯?
-You. -Hmm?
你害羞吗?
Uh, are you shy?
我是个大器晚成的人。
I'm a late bloomer.
我父母是这么告诉我的。
So I've been told by my parents.
-你被我们吓倒了吗?-不。
-Are you intimidated by us? -No.
我们来做个性格测试。你叫什么名字来着?
Let's do a personality test. What's your name again?
伍德罗·l·斯汀贝克。
Woodrow L. Steenbeck.
嗯。“L”是什么意思?
-Hmm. -What's the "L" for?
-林德伯格。-大家看看伍德罗。
- Lindbergh. - Everybody look at Woodrow.
我同意。害羞但不害怕。
I agree. Shy but not intimidated.
过来，伍德罗。
Move over here, Woodrow.
聪明而勤奋的人,是吗?-是的,聪明而勤奋的人。
-Brainiac, huh? -Yeah, brainiac.
这是不言而喻的，不是吗?