8块披萨（2020）

I'm so glad you did because today's special's
是香肠和意大利辣香肠派 小菜是面筋
the sausage and pepperoni pie with gluten on the side.
如果你有兴趣 我知道你有兴趣
And if you're interested, which I know you are,
我们还有刚推出的新品哦
we have a very special genetically modified option as well.
你们今天要喝什么呢
So what can I get you fellas started off to drink today?
一杯水就好
I'll do a water.
- 好的 - 我也是
- All right. - Same.
明白了
Got it.
无聊 让我猜猜 你也要水
Boring, let me guess, water?
水马上就来
We'll be right back with the H20s, okay?
你想活跃气氛的时候小心一点
Be careful with your comedy choices.
在这里 顾客就是上帝
Around here, customer is king.
我们是为他们服务的 好吗
We serve them, okay?
嘿 斯科普 你要什么
Hey, Schop, what can I get ya?
- 两杯啤酒 - 没问题
- Two lagers. - Done and done.
这周有试镜吗
Uh, any auditions this week?
这周没有
Not this week.
好吧 我约见过的每个导演
All right, well, every director I meet
最后都问我介不介意裸体 所以...
eventually asks me how comfortable I am getting naked, so.
那个家伙的名牌上是写着杰克·贝鲁亚克吗
Did that guy's name tag say Jack Berouac?
他们这就是这样的风格
That's what they do here.
这些个流浪汉假装自己是著名的作家
All these trailer park kids pretend to be famous writers.
看到那个可爱的女生了吗
You see that sweet thing right there?
她淡季会去给我海边的房♥子做清洁
She cleans my beach house in the off season.
你卖♥♥了多少本
How many copies did you sell?
抱歉
Sorry.
我仍在与现实作斗争
I'm still struggling with the reality of it.
很多人都想写书 但是…
Well, plenty of people try to write books but...
但每当我想到现实
And whenever I think of reality,
我想到的是真人秀明星
I think of reality stars,
还有这个让你能当上美国总统的
and the newly paved route to becoming
新新模式
President of the United States.
这样看吧
Well, look at this way.
成人绘画本市场还是个全新领域
You've got a new market for adult coloring books.
守护神
Patronies.
嗯是的 你好
Uh yes, hello.
你们的14英寸有多大
How big is your 14 inch?
你说啥
I'm sorry?
14英寸有多大
How big is your 14 inch?
- 我们的14英寸有多大 - 是的
- How big is our 14 inch? - Yeah.
- 14英寸那么大 - 好的
- 14 inches. - Oh, okay.
- 听起来不错 - 嗯
- Sounds good. - Yeah.
- 好的 谢谢 - 再见
- Okay, thank you. - All right, bye.
你没有写地址
You don't have an address.
哦 我现在正处于居无定所的状态
Oh, yeah, I'm just in between housing right now.
这个地方应该就在你每天
Well, I am sure that this is just a pit stop
会经过的路上
on the way to wherever it is you're going.
但是每天都要去一次 把活儿都干完
But just approach each day, perform every task
以打造一份更好的简历为动力
with the devotion of building a better resume,
你应该可以的
you should be fine.
下星期我弄个邮政信箱
I'll get a PO box next week.
你需要住的地方吗
You uh, you need a place to stay?
不 不用了 我没事
Oh, no, no, I'm good.
有地方洗澡吗
Shower's an issue?
有
No.
客人来到这里是想闻一闻大蒜和酱油的味道的
People like to come here to smell garlic and sauce.
我会洗澡的
I'll be showered.
我们有洗衣机和晾衣绳
Well have a washing machine and the clothes line
如果你需要的话都在后面
in the back if you need.
你之前被逮捕过吗
You ever, uh, you ever been arrested?
没有
Uh no.
那你有过差点被抓的经历吗
You ever almost been arrested?
如果你想 你可以做一下背景调查
You can do a background check if you'd like.
我需要做吗
Do I need to?
老板
Aye, boss man?
乔来了
Joe's here.
艾伯特 过来
Hey, Albert, come here.
你来接手 然后去带带他
You finish this up and bring him to the pit.
给他拿本书和名牌
And get him a book and a name tag for me.
- 欢迎加入 伙计 - 谢谢
- Welcome aboard, bud. - Thanks.
嘿 我是阿尔伯特
Hey, I'm Albert.
你叫什么名字
What's your name?
我叫约翰
My name's John.
没什么所谓
Well that's not gonna matter,
反正我们都要给你换个名字的
we're gonna change it anyway.
哦
Oh.
一定要填好
Yeah, so, make sure you fill out
所有的文件 好了之后交回给我
all that paperwork and try to get it back to me
- 明天之前给我 - 好的
- no later than tomorrow. - Okay.
这样我们就可以把它归档了
So we can get it on file and stuff like that.
对不起 我得问一下
I'm sorry, I gotta ask.
这台老掉牙的打字机是什么情况
What's up with the stone aged typewriter?
他很怀旧
He's very nostalgic like that.
我们最近还给他买♥♥了个翻盖手♥机♥
We just recently got him a flip phone, too, so.
翻盖手♥机♥吗
A flip phone?
是的 像StarTAC那种
Yeah, like the StarTAC.
姑娘们还在研究
Yeah, the girls are kind of working on him.
- 哇 好吧 - 是的
- Wow, okay. - Yeah, yeah.
好的方面是 他付工资都是现金支付
Well the good thing about it, all his checks cash, so.
- 很好 - 他要是想要三个打字机
- Good, good. - He can have three
我一点意见也没有
of these as far as I'm concerned.
好了 走吧 我们去见尼采
All right, come on, let's go meet Knee Cha.
你要给我做披萨吗
Are you gonna make my pizza?
乔 我们已经谈过了 好吗
Joe, we have been through this, okay?
你是唯一一个会做的人
You're the only one who knows how to do it right.
酥脆 不要很多奶酪
Crispy, not a lot of cheese.
每个人做的披萨都是一样的…
Everybody makes the pizza the exact same...
放屁
Bull crap!
这些乡巴佬不知道怎么做
These rednecks don't know how to do it right.
好吧
Okay.
我不知道为什么每次都这么难搞
I don't know why it's such a big deal every time.
我来给他做披萨
I'll make his pizza.
我要的是脆皮披萨
All I want is the crispy pizza.
嘿 老板叫什么名字
Hey, what's boss man's name?
奥斯卡·史密斯
It's Oscar Smith.
他让我们戴上这些名牌
He makes us wear these name tags,
他自己不戴
and don't wear one himself.
- 哦 - 你每个月要是每次准时上班
- Awesome. - So, you get 10 cent a month
就能得到10美分
every time that you're on time,
你每完成这其中一项
and you get a dollar raise for every one
就能加薪1美元
of these that you finish.
一美元读一本书
A dollar for reading a book?
是的 这可能也是我们要倒闭
Yeah, which is probably one of the reasons
的其中一个原因 但是…
why we're going under, but...
哦 说到这个
Oh yeah, speaking of that.
我们这里不准玩手♥机♥
We have a no phone policy.
- 好 不能玩 - 是的
- Right, no phone. - Yeah.
确保每天下班之前
Make sure you choose one of these
你做好了选择
by the end of the day.
必须在这里面选吗
Does it have to be one of these?
是的
Yep.
右边是浸泡的地方 中间是擦洗的地方
Right's for soaking, center's for scrubbing,
左边是用来消毒的
left is for sanitizing.
别弄混了
Don't mix 'em up.
祝你好运
Good luck.
之后打八折
And 20% off after that.
我喜欢意大利辣香肠
I like pepperoni.
感谢你成为我们的会员
And thank you for becoming a member.
你们每次来的时候
So you get the free soda and the water
都会有免费的苏打水和水
every single time you come in.
这也太棒了 你们说呢