8块披萨（2020）

灯光 摄像机 开拍
Lights, camera, action.
萨姆·赞德时间到
It's Sam Zander time.
我知道你在想什么 这是什么玩意儿
I know what you're thinkin': what's this?
你很快就会知道的
You'll find out soon enough, but yeah,
我把胡子留长了
I'm growing the beard out.
我现在就在马里布 我父母的家
So I'm just here at my parent's house in Malibu.
这容貌
The look.
哦
Oh.
我是有钱人
I'm rich.
你能怎样
Deal with it.
很多酒箱 因为我父母都是酒鬼
Lots of wine boxes 'cause my parents are drunks.
酗酒还肥胖
Drunks and fat.
是啊 我就是说我爸妈坏话 怎么样
Yeah, I shame my parents, whatever.
这是萨姆·赞德的留言
This is a message from Sam Zander.
你知道你的孩子们现在在哪里吗
Do you know where your children are?
他们在我的网站上 你也该来的
They're on my website, where you should be.
是的 我一直在想 一直在想
Yeah, I've been thinkin', I've been thinkin',
一直想个没完
I've been thinkin'.
这都意味着什么
What does it all mean?
我不知道
I don't know.
从前有一个男孩
Once upon a time there was a boy
他自己不知道他该做什么
who didn't know what he was gonna do
所以他做了一些改变世界的事情
so he did something to change the world.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
你是谁
Who are you?
我们要去哪里
Where are we going?
我想让你们知道我打算为了你们
Listen, I want you guys to know I'm about to something
做一些很勇敢的事情
really courageous for you all.
我要做一些非常大胆的事情
I'm about to do something really bold.
请在下方留言
Send me your comments below.
再见 狗子们
Peace up, bash down, ah.
我告诉你 守护神披萨要完蛋了
I'm tellin' ya, Patronies Pizza's goin' under.
你怎么知道 我都不知道
Now how would you know that and I don't?
相信我
Trust me.
尼采
Knee Cha!
他可能被解雇了
Oh he's probably canned from being
因为他虔诚地不信上帝
God's loyal opposition.
继续说说你的疯子理论
So tell me your crackpot theory.
你还不懂吗
You can't see it?
每年的这个时候它都会变慢
It always get slow around this time of the year.
- 你知道... - 不 不 不
- You know that... - No, no, no.
远不止这些
It's more than that.
你好
Shalom.
- 你又不是犹太人 - 怎么不是了
- You're not Jewish. - Why not?
不是这样搞的
It doesn't work that way.
我的继祖母40年代的时候可是个德国犹太人呢
My step grandmother was a German Jew in the 40s.
我简直不能更犹太了好吧
That should count double for me, all right?
- 星期六了 - 所以我们才散步啊
- It's Saturday. - That's why we're walking.
你在安息日工作的吗
So, you're working on the Sabbath?
从文化角度上看我就是犹太人
I'm culturally Jewish, all right?
- 饶了我吧 - 好吧 你继续
- Give me break, will ya? - Right, proceed.
守护神披萨要完蛋了
Patronies Pizza is going under
因为一个小细节
because of one small detail.
单层
Single ply.
现在两层都只剩一层了
We went from two ply to single ply.
破产始于浴室
Bankruptcy starts in the bathroom.
跟你讲清楚了
You know, I'm drawing the line here.
说真的 我更喜欢宽扎节时候的你
As a matter of fact, I liked you a lot better when you was practicing Kwanzaa.
那只是一个阶段
That was just a phase.
你觉得如何
What do you think?
我可没打算说什么让你心情愉悦
Listen, this aint no feel good story
的披萨小趣事
about some pizza joint.
我想聊一个我们都相信的谎言
It's about the one lie we all believe in.
我
Me?
我是那种开心不需要理由的人
I'm the happiness without a reason guy.
我的原则是你不需要理由就能快乐
My philosophy is you don't need reasons to be happy.
你只需要理由不快乐
You only need reasons to be unhappy.
我知道 我知道 这听起来很不合理
I know, I know, it sounds unreasonable.
人类的生活只不过
You see, the whole human experience is just
一眨眼的功夫 宛如一粒尘埃
a speck of dust in the blink of time.
我们生下来都不是完美的
And every single one of us is born incomplete.
我们一生都在寻找意义
We spend our whole lives searching for meaning
来填补我们心中的一个小洞
that fills a little hole in our hearts.
对于八块披萨来说 我们要填补的是一个姓名牌
For the eight slices, it's the name tags we wear,
以及我们是否有很好地
and whether we're doing a good job
去活出我们最喜爱的作家笔下的生活
portraying our favorite writers who, at some point,
甚至 填补空白
filled that hole in us.
当然也是暂时的
Temporarily.
我真想知道凯鲁亚克会怎么想
I do wonder what Kerouac would think of all this.
无论如何
Anyway.
真正重要的问题是
All that really matters is one question:
什么样的披萨才叫完美
what makes the perfect pizza?
作为一个演员
As an actor,
你的自♥由♥发挥就在剧本之中
your freedom happens between the lines.
你的角色想要什么
What does your character want?
是什么阻挡了他们
What stands in their way?
这是走入片场时两个最重要的问题
These are the two most important questions going into the scene.
推 推 推销自我
Self-self-self-self promotion
是如今90%的表演行业重心…
is 90% of acting in today's world against a famous...
好了 开始
All right, here we go.
呜呼呼
Woo hoo hoo!
美国 看看这个
America, look at this!
噢 我为你做的一切
Oh, the things I do for you.
上帝已死
你来真的
Really?
别这样 奥斯卡
Come on, Oscar.
它只是一件衬衫
It's just a shirt.
别这样 奥斯卡
"Come on, Oscar."
- 是吗 - 嗯
- Yeah? - Yeah.
它能让人们思考
It makes people think.
我不希望我的客户思考任何事情
Well I don't want my customers thinking about anything,
除了我的披萨有多好吃这一点
except for how good my pizza is.
嗨 温迪
Hey Wendy.
详细跟我说说
So, tell me everything.
校园怎么样
How was the campus?
上大学是浪费钱吗
Is college a waste of money?
除非你拿到的是实用的学位
Only if you're getting a degree in something practical
- 就像哲学 - 我都不知道
- like philosophy. - I don't even know
我能不能被录取
if I'll get in.
如果免费 你会读吗
Would you do it if it were free?
谁都会
Anyone would.
那就是你的答案了
Then that's your answer.
是啊 但是如果可以的话 我还想要个免费的金马桶呢
Yeah, but I'd get like a golden toilet if it was free.
什么
What?
- 早上好 - 早上好
- Morning, G. - Morning, G.
一些当地人
Some locals.
你好吗
'Sup dude?
看看这个地方
Look at this place.
哇哦
Yo.
我们已经不在马里布了
We're not in Malibu anymore.
- 啊 - 电♥话♥回访
- A - callback is when
是指选角导演想再约见你一次
a casting director wants to see you again.
这是一个很好的迹象 说明你做得很好
This is a good indication that you did something well.
嘿 安
Hey, Ann.
巡回售书怎么样了
How'd the book tour go?
我甚至连不伦瑞克郡都没能走出去
I didn't even make it out of Brunswick County.
嘿
Hey.
至少对我来说很重要
It still counts in my book.
凯利最近怎么样
How's Kelli doin'?
去他的凯利
Screw Kelli.
嗨