8块披萨（2020）

Oh hey.
- 早上好 - 嘿 伙计们
- Mornin'. - Hey guys.
- 早上好 - 嘿
- Morning. - Hi.
等一下检查一下厕纸
After this, check the toilet paper.
你好 安
Hi, Ann.
巡回售书怎么样了
How'd the book tour go?
分享你的故事 体验别人的精彩
今天大家可是敌意满满啊
All kinds of hostility today.
凯丽怎么样了
Hey man, how's Kelli doin'?
好了 我们开始吧
All right, let's get started.
叔本华 很高兴你能加入我们
Schopenhauer, nice of you to join us.
能解释一下吗
Care to explain yourself?
啊 当然
Uh, sure.
我被困在了一个地方
I'm somewhere in this body, condemned to this
被迫待在了这个造物主在
completely indifferent universe that was created
创造生命的时候
by someone or from something that forgot
忘记加入幸福这一因素的宇宙
to put human happiness in its design.
阿门
Amen.
时间是一种幻觉
Time is an illusion.
我们是这个星球上唯一
We are the only creatures on this planet
讲究时间的生物
that keep track of time.
因此 我们也是唯一
Therefore, we are the only creatures that
害怕时间不够用的生物
have a fear of time running out.
太对了
Exactly!
看看吉列尔莫
Just look at Guillermo.
什么
What?
如果你相信人类的幸福
If you believe in human happiness,
看看一个老人的脸就好了
just look at an old person's face.
别这样吧
Ah, come on.
我是认真的 那些深深的皱纹
I mean it, they're like deeply wrinkled,
写满的都是永远的失望
permanent displays of disappointment.
蚀刻在那里
It's just etched in there.
我的快乐不需要理由
I'm happy without a reason.
我不需要快乐的理由
I don't need a reason to be happy!
去守护神披萨咯
Going to Patronies.
一定很棒
This is gonna be awesome.
你兴奋吗
Are you excited?
我很兴奋
I'm excited.
好了 好了 该开始干活了
All right, all right, time to get to work.
够了 够了
All right, all right.
冷静下来 杰克
Calm down, Jack.
我今早召集你们是因为…
Listen, I brought you in early today because I...
我们关门了
We are closed.
看牌子啊
Read the sign.
才10点
It's 10 am.
你不是说时间是幻觉吗
I thought time was an illusion.
叔本华
Schopenhauer.
看看这个
Look at that.
哦 可恶
Oh, shoot.
欢迎光临守护神 我们关门了
Hi, welcome to Patronies, we're closed.
我是新来的
I'm a new hire.
我们今天有新员工要来吗
Do we have a new hire today?
这边请 先生
For you, sir.
嗨
Uh, hi.
我是约翰
I'm uh, I'm John.
我是新来的
I'm the new hire.
嗨 约翰
Hi, John.
约翰 拉个座位过来
John, pull up a seat.
加入圈子
Join the circle.
我觉得我是时候好好提醒你们一下了
I just thought I'd give you all fair warning.
你们该开始更新自己的简历了[换工作]
You should probably start updating your resumes.
- 什么 - 哦 不
- What? - Oh no.
双层
Two ply.
是因为卫生纸
It's the toilet paper, man.
这就是我们完蛋的原因
That's why we're going under.
你看到了吗
Are you seeing this?
两个月前 多数合伙人
Two months ago, the majority partner
把他们的股份卖♥♥给我
sold their shares back to me,
我们夏天的业绩不如想象的那么好
and uh, we just didn't have the summer season I was hoping for.
这只是预防措施 尼采
This is just a precaution, Knee Cha.
安
Ann?
好吧
All right?
继续正常提供服务
Service stays the same.
菜单是保持简单版本就好
Menu's staying simple.
附在你们信封上的是新的
Now attached to your envelopes are the new
披萨会员计划
pizza membership program.
艾伯特会来给大家解释
Albert will explain how it's going to work.
伙计们 如果我们每个人卖♥♥25个
Guys, if we each sell 25 of these,
我们就会有足够的钱
we'll have enough money to get
来度过冬季了
us through the winter season
我们也就不用担心关门了
and we won't have to worry about closing.
不管怎样 我希望大家都能对推荐信
At any rate, I hope the recommendation letters
感到满意
work for everyone.
约翰 在我给你写推荐信之前
John, I'll need to get to know who you are
我需要了解一下你
before I can write you one.
那我还要不要开工了
Well should I even start, or?
- 要 - 当然
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- 有钱不赚 你个白♥痴♥ - 好
- It's money, ya nuts? - Yes.
保持乐观 伙计
Yeah man, stay positive, man.
这取决于你
It's up to you.
我希望你们知道我已经
I hope you guys know if there's anything
尽我所能了
I could have done differently, I would've.
还有30分钟就要开始营业了
Oh, 30 minutes before the doors open.
让我们铆足劲来
Let's keep our heads up
如果你们需要什么
and uh, if you guys need anything,
不要犹豫 尽管问
don't hesitate to ask.
你和我 我们会挺过去的
You and me, we're gonna make it through this.
我们会挺过这一天的
We're gonna make it through this day,
有我支持你
we're gonna do it together,
因为你是我需要的一切
'cause you are everything I need.
你是我的爱
You are my love.
请把你对我的爱全部展现出来吧
You are going to pour out your love to me
达到糖和碳酸的完美平衡
in a perfect balance of sugar and carbonation.
你明白了吗
You got it?
这是叔本华和温迪
And this is Schopenhauer and Wendy.
嘿
Hi.
你们[男生]好啊
'Sup guys?
我们实际上是女性
We're actually women.
你会习惯的
You'll get used to that.
我认识你吗
Do I know you?
我长了大众脸
Familiar face.
我带他继续了
Gotta keep goin' on the tour.
我好像认识他
I feel like I know him.
是吗
Yeah?
这是安 她是个作家
This is Ann, she's actually a writer.
这是我们的厨师
And this is our cook.
- 嘿 你好啊 - 他不说话
- Hey, what's up man? - He doesn't speak.
这是G
And that is G.
好吧
Okay.
让我带你回到…
Oh, let me take you back here on the...
怎么
What?
语言的界限即世界的界限 维特根斯坦
什么样的披萨才叫完美
What makes the perfect pizza?
我是不是该跟着你做
Hey, I'm supposed to shadow you?
跟对人了
First stop, best stop.
你以前在服务行业工作过吗
You ever work in the service industry before?
没有
Uh no.
做好进入大联盟的准备
Get ready for the big leagues.
欢迎光顾守护神披萨店 披萨是我们的哲学
Welcome to Patronies where pizza is our philosophy
我们的哲学是披萨
and our philosophy is pizza.
你要点些什么特色披萨呢
What's that, the specials you asked for?
你走运了 因为今天的特色披萨