卡罗琳拖保龄球队后腿妙招频出
Table for two.
两人桌
And don't worry, he just went.
别担心 他刚大小便完
So did the guy at booth three.
三号桌的客人也刚在卡座大小便完
Max, that cop has a drugsniffing dog.
麦克斯 那个警察带了缉毒犬
So, it was nice knowing you.
很高兴认识你 再会
What's that, now?
你说啥来着
You're moving out? Max, put that away!
你要搬走了吗 麦克斯 快灭掉
It smells like Willie Nelson's bandana drawer in here.
闻起来像威利·纳尔逊头巾抽屉的臭味
老牌美国乡村摇滚男歌手 热爱戴头巾
Max, have you seen the olicepay ogday?
麦克斯 你有看到那个欧丽斯欧各地吗
Uh, that pot was too strong.
这大♥麻劲儿太强
There's a chipmunk talking to me.
我看到一只花栗鼠在跟我说话
Heavens, that's a drugsniffing dog!
我的天啊 那是一只缉毒犬
Earl will spend the rest of his life behind bars.
厄尔余生都得在监狱里度过了
So, like, two weeks?
所以大概就是两周啦
Earl, heads up. Narc dog at :.
厄尔 注意 一点钟方向有缉毒犬
Or it might be :.
也可能是点钟方向
But it's definitely .
但绝对是[大♥麻]
So, she can bring that dog in here,
所以她就准许带狗进来
but I can't bring my emotional support hooker.
而我却不许带我的"精神支持用妓♥女"
I can't watch a dog tear Earl to pieces.
我不忍直视厄尔被狗撕成碎片
Hey there, fella. Sit.
小家伙来 坐下
All right, now give me that paw.
把小爪爪给我
Now here's what I got for you. There you go.
我有个小礼物给你 吃吧
I have a way with dogs.
我对狗就是有一套
Well, my marijuana biscuits do.
应该说我的大♥麻饼干有一套
That's why I call them Hush Puppies.
所以我把它命名为"狗不叫饼干"
Hey, Han, if it's cool, me and the dog
阿憨 如果你不介意 我跟这狗
are gonna go see the new Star Wars movie.
要一起去看最新的《星球大战》电影
Max, guess what Bobby and I are doing tomorrow night?
麦克斯 你猜我跟鲍比明晚要做什么
Where have I been dying to go?
还记得我一直超想去哪里吗
Besides a doctor's office that's not in a Chipotle.
除不在墨西哥快餐店里的诊所外
Sorry, Dr. Pizza Hut has a waiting list.
不好意思 必胜客医生还得排队的好吗
Hey, everybody!
大家安安
Oh, I'm worried that Barbara's not smart.
我有点担心芭芭拉脑子不好
Yeah, she doesn't even return my emails.
她连我的电邮都不回
DNAI think she has Oleg's DNA.
我觉得她有奥列格的
So do most of the chairs in here.
这里大多数的椅子也都有沾到
That's why I bring my chair from home every day.
这就是为什么我每天从自己家里带椅子来
I mean, it's awkward on the subway,
虽然坐地铁时会遭到侧目
but I don't wanna sit on those seats either.
但反正我也不想坐在地铁椅子上
Sophie, don't blame me. My family's very smart.
苏菲 孩子笨别赖我 我家人都特聪明
We won Family Feud in Ukraine,
我们赢了乌克兰版的《家庭问答》节目
and it takes intelligence to kill another family.
要把对方家庭杀光可是很需要智慧的
Who are we kidding?
我们就别自己骗自己了
You're a gorgeous moron.
你就是个空有皮囊的傻♥逼
But what are we gonna do with a dumb baby?
但我们该怎么处置这个傻孩子啊
Maybe we should ask Han.
或许我们该问问阿憨
He's a dumb baby.
他也是个傻孩子
Hey, don't call Han a dumb baby.
不许说阿憨是傻孩子
He managed to pull that stupid vest
他可是凭自己的力量与智慧
over his giant potato head all by himself.
把自己的大猪头给套进那白♥痴背心呢
Nope. I had to help him.
不是凭自己 是我帮忙的
Starting to think the Splenda packet I came out for
开始觉得我为了拿包代糖跑出来
wasn't worth it.
真是得不偿失了
Hey, gorgeous. Hello, yourself, beautiful.
小美人你好吗 你也好啊 小帅哥
Bobby, great news...
鲍比 好消息
guess what we're doing tomorrow night?
你猜猜我们明晚要做什么
Tomorrow night? I can't.
明晚吗 我没空
I have a hobby that I haven't told you about
我有一个爱好没有告诉你
because I don't think it's something you'll like.
因为我觉得你不会喜欢
Oh, so is your hobby getting to the point of a story quickly?
你的爱好是不废话直接讲故事重点吗
It's definitely not acknowledging
也绝对不是夸奖
my new Caesar salad recipe.
我新的凯撒沙拉食谱很棒
Still waiting.
宝宝还在等呢
Still nauseous.
宝宝还想吐呢
Well, I bet you Bobby's into doing dead people.
我敢打赌鲍比喜欢跟死尸做♥爱
Yeah, he just has that look.
他一脸就是那种人的长相
Bobby, for the love of God, just tell me.
鲍比 我求你了 就告诉我吧
Whatever hobby you have, it can't be worse than that.
无论你有什么爱好 也惨不过她说的那个啊
Fine, Caroline, I'm just gonna come out and say it.
好吧 卡洛琳 我就大胆向你承认吧
I like to bowl.
我喜欢打保龄球
And you're sure you don't wanna
你确定你要承认不是
go with the dead people thing?
你其实喜欢跟死尸做♥爱嘛
But bowling's just a hobby, right?
不过打保龄球也玩玩而已嘛 对吧
Something you only do...
你也就偶尔...
Every Tuesday night.
每周二晚上都打
I'm on a team. I have a locker at the alley.
我加了保龄球队 在球馆有个人置物柜
And that tattoo I told you was the moon,
那个我跟你说是月亮的刺青
it's a bowling ball.
其实是个保龄球
Why didn't you tell me?
你为什么没跟我说这事
We don't talk about me a lot.
因为我们很少在聊我的事
I thought it would be more important
我觉得更重要的是
to tell you about my nut allergy when I had the floor.
在我难得有发言权时 先说我对坚果过敏
You have a nut allergy?
你对坚果过敏吗
Bowler? Nice!
保龄球手吗 赞
I was on a bowling team in juvie.
我在少管所时也是保龄球队的
We were called The Girls Who Escaped
队名叫"狱卒把我们带到
when the Guards Took Us to the Bowling Alley.
保龄球馆后就逃跑的姑娘们"
That'd be hard to put on a shirt.
这队名很难印到衣服上吧
Oh, we didn't wear shirts.
我们不♥穿衣服啊
Caroline, I knew bowling wouldn't be your thing.
卡洛琳 我知道你不会喜欢保龄球
You don't pronounce any of the Ns in Au Bon Pain.
就像你读"欧棒棒"餐厅时 名字也乱读
美国连锁面包咖啡店
That's because it's Au Bon Pain.
那是因为正确法式发音是"欧胖胖"
We can have separate things.
我们可以有不同的爱好啊
Bobby, you know what? Part of being in a relationship
鲍比 其实呢 谈恋爱的一部分
is being open to trying new things.
就是要学会接受新事物
And since I'm not ready to try being on top yet,
而既然我现在还没能接受女上位
I'm gonna come watch you bowl tomorrow.
我决定明天跟你去球馆看你打球
Really? Okay, great.
真的吗 好 那太好了
Hey, Max, you wanna come too?
麦克斯 你想一起来吗
Got some cute guys on my bowling team.
我队伍里有一些帅哥呢
Well, just some guys that aren't that fat.
应该说 有一些不是胖子的男人
It's a bowling team.
毕竟也只是个保龄球队而已
Beerbased recreation? Men with curves?
以喝啤酒为中心的消遣 还有有曲线的男人
Are we going to a bowling alley or heaven?
我们是要去保龄球馆还是天堂啊
Max, I'm ready to go bowling.
麦克斯 我准备好去打保龄球啦
You look like you're ready for a greaser
你打扮得像准备好被
to feel you up at Make Out Point.
年代油头男带去山上"看夜景"
I've waited long enough to have a boyfriend.
我等了那么久才盼到这个男朋友
I can learn to like anything.
我可以为他喜欢上任何事物
I mean, it's not like it's bowling.
毕竟又不是像打保龄球那么土的事
Oh, my God, it's bowling!
天啊 还真是打保龄球
Well, I loved it.
我就爱保龄球
But I hung up my back brace after I bowled a .
在打出满分分后 我挂起护腰退休了
I wanted to go out on top, like Rob Schneider.
我想在巅峰退休 就像罗伯·施奈德
美国知名喜剧演员 有过不少成功作品 但近年
作品少 且成绩都皆不佳
And from what I hear, apparently not you.
而根据我听到的 你就不喜欢在上面[巅峰]
Hi, girls.
姑娘们
Yeah, Barbara's even dumber than I thought.
芭芭拉比我想象中还蠢
Yeah, she had a play date with the baby next door.
她跟隔壁的孩子有个玩耍约会
And he can read.
而人家都能识字了
Jimmy?
吉米吗
He's .
他都岁了
He's a little person.
他是个侏儒
And a tax attorney.
还是个税务律师
Well, I did think it was odd that he lived alone.
我的确有觉得他一个孩子独居有点奇怪
We're taking Barbara bowling.
我们要带芭芭拉去打保龄球
Between the flashing lights and the fist fights,
有闪烁的霓虹灯还有打架闹事
nothing's more stimulating for a baby's brain
没有任何地方比保龄球馆
than a bowling alley.
更能刺♥激宝宝大脑发育了
How about a book?
比如读本书呢
On bowling?
跟保龄球有关的书吗
So, this is a bowling alley.
这就是保龄球馆啊
This actually isn't so bad.
其实没那么糟嘛
What was that?
那是什么声音
The sound of people going nowhere.
是人生已走到死路的人的声音
If you're here for the sock hop, it was years ago.
如果您是来参加短袜舞会 您晚来了年
I'm kidding, I'm kidding. You look sexy.
我开玩笑的 你看起来美极了
Thank you. I'm here to support you
谢谢 我是来支持你的
because this is what you love.
因为这是你的爱好
And what you love, I love.
你爱什么 我就爱什么
That seriously has to stop.
别再发出那声音了好吗
Hey, this is Frank. He's the star of our team.
他是法兰克 他是我们球队的王牌
Tell 'em about yourself, Frank.
自我介绍一下吧 弗兰克
Well, I'm the star of our team.
我是我们球队的王牌
I also enjoy dinner.
我还喜欢吃晚餐
Yes! Cute and dumb.
棒呆了 又帅又傻
Where have you been all my life?
在我过去的人生中 你都上哪去了
Well, I was in high school for ten years.
我念了十年高中
All right, let's bowl.
来吧 来打球
We're going towards the sound?
我们要往那声音方向去吗
A curtain on the sex booth?
这里的打炮亭居然还有帘子
Classy place. They had the same thing
高档地方啊 我们去投票的地方
on the sex booth where we voted.
也有这样的打炮亭
You mean tried to vote.
你是说试图投票的地方吧
I mean, I barely started pulling your lever
我都还没怎么拉动开始投票的杠杆
before they kicked us out.
就被人踢出来了
Barbara, Barbara, what do you think?
芭芭拉 芭芭拉 你感觉如何
You feel smarter yet?
感觉自己变聪明点了吗
You know what? This baby's harder to read
你知道吗 要读懂这孩子
than Chelsea Handler's memoir.
比要读懂切尔西·汉德勒的回忆录还难
美国女喜剧演员与作家
Oh, look, Oleg. She likes the claw machine.
快看 奥列格 她喜欢夹娃娃机
This is the first thing she's been interested in
她上一次对东西产生兴趣
since she saw that lady fall down the stairs in our building.
还是上次看到楼里那位女士从楼梯摔下去呢
That was hilarious.
那真是太好笑了
She was carrying a casserole bowl.
她当时拿着一大碗砂锅菜
You know, I am gonna win her a stuffed animal
我要给她赢一个娃娃
and show her we may not be geniuses,
告诉她我们虽然不是天才父母
but damn it, we can operate tiny cranes.
但我们他妈的可会操作迷你吊车了
Now what's this knobby thing do?
所以这颗小圆杆是什么玩意
So this is the rest of our team. Bernie, Lynette,
这是我们其他的队员 伯尼 利奈特
there's Frank again, who's currently trying
然后是弗兰克 他正在试图
to drink a Sprite through a wrapped straw.
用没拆包装的吸管喝雪碧
So cute how he doesn't know stuff.
他什么都不懂的样子太可爱了
And these are the bowling wives. No offense, Wayne.
这些是球手娇妻 无意冒犯 韦恩
Oh, none taken. I'm a pair of sensible earrings
不介意 我就差一副合适的耳环
away from being my mother.
就是我妈的翻版了
So this is the practice for the title game tomorrow night.
今晚是在为明晚的比赛做练习
We win that,
我们明晚打赢
we get to go to the championships in Detroit.
我们就能去底特律打冠军赛
We win that, we get to leave Detroit.
赢那个比赛 我们就能活着离开底特律
Oh, cool, I still have to pick up my last check from Chrysler.
太好了 我刚好可以找克哥讨没给的工钱
He was my pimp.
他是帮我拉皮条的
Uh, do the bowling wives have to go to that...
球手娇妻们必需得跟去...
get to come to that?
那些赢了还能再去哪哪的比赛吗
Sure, that'd be great.
可以啊 能来就太好了
This could be our thing. You could be my
这可以是我们的专属爱好 你可以当我的球手娇妻
bowling wife.
Before I say yes, is there any way
在我答应之前 我想问一下
the bar here serves white wine?
这里的啤酒吧有卖白葡萄酒吗
Well, this is what couples do for each other, right?
情侣都得这样为对方牺牲 对吧
I'm sure your spouses support you
我相信你的伴侣也会支持
in whatever's important to you.
你心中觉得重要的事物
Bernie missed my swearing in as a Federal judge last week.
伯尼错过我上周联邦法官的宣誓仪式
But he bowled a , so it was worth it.
但他打了个分 这波不亏
Today's my birthday. I'm one year cancer free.
今天是我生日 我抗癌成功一周年了
Lynette didn't even know I was sick.
利奈特压根就不知道我病过
Let's go, Frank. Shake it for mama!
上啊 弗兰克 给老娘摇摆一下
Those ten years in high school did nothing for him.
他上的十年高中真是啥都没教会他
I'm up. Good luck twostep.
轮到我啦 好运两步舞
Let's go, Bobby! Do a good jobby!
上啊 小鲍比 出手 没人比
If Frank does a good jobby, I might just give him one.
如果弗兰克没人比 那我也"出手"帮他
BOBBY, I could be his alibi.
鲍比鲍比比 最爱就是你
Cause he's bowling. He's bowling.
对手全是屁 全场最牛逼'
You wanna cut that out?
你能别加油了吗
We want them to lose. If they win tomorrow,
我们就盼着他们输 如果他们赢了
the season goes on for two more months.
他们赛季就还得再多打两个月
Haven't we already been here two months?
我们在这里不是已经过了两个月了吗
The foot spray plays games with your mind.
爽足止汗喷雾闻多了 会让你产生幻觉
Max, can you come sniff me?
麦克斯 你能过来闻闻我吗
I was hoping the sewer smell from our shower
虽然我希望我们浴室的下水道味
would cover the stink from the bowling alley,
能掩盖保龄球馆的臭味
but I think they just joined forces.
但我想这两者已经融合在一起了
If you keep smelling like sewers and bowling alleys,
如果你闻起来像下水道和保龄球馆的味道
we're gonna have to have sex.
那恐怕我们得滚床单了
Well, unfortunately for you,
你没这个福分了
I won't be smelling like a bowling alley anymore
我身上不会再有保龄球馆的味道
because I'm gonna tell Bobby that
因为我要告诉鲍比
bowling should be his thing.
保龄球应该是他的专利
And waiting for him cutely at home will be mine.
在家美美地等他回来 则是我的专利
Onto something interesting,
说件有趣的事
Frank came over last night.
弗兰克昨晚来这里了
You guys had sex?
你们俩上床了吗
I didn't hear you ring your sex bell.
我没有听见你的性♥爱小铃铛响啊
Well, we tried to, but he just seemed confused
我们想来着 但他一脸懵逼
so I let him go to sleep.
所以我就让他先睡了
But I did put those hands to work.
但我有让他的双手好好干活
I didn't hear your hand stuff buzzer.
我也没有听见你的手活蜂鸣器响啊
I had him work on my laces.
我让他帮我弄鞋带了
You didn't hear my laces kazoo?
你没有听见我的鞋带卡祖笛响吗
Hey, Max?
麦克斯
I got all the knots out of your shoes.
我把你鞋带上的结都解开了
If I can teach him how to have sex and how to climb
如果我能教会他怎么做♥爱 怎么爬上床
onto a bed,
I'm locking this down.
那这家伙我要定了
Hey, thought I'd surprise you, bring you some coffee.
想说给你送咖啡 给你个惊喜
Bobby, what are you doing here?
鲍比 你来这里干嘛
This isn't the bowling alley.
这又不是保龄球馆
Well, I'm glad I found him. His mom was looking for him.
真高兴我找到他了 他妈一直在找他呢
Come on, Frank, let's go.
来 弗兰克 走吧
We gotta get ready for the game. Bye.
我们得为比赛作准备了 先走了
I'll see you later at the alley.
晚点球馆见
No... okay.
还是算了吧
So, can I call you?
我可以打给你吗
Please tell me that wasn't his bowling hand.
拜托告诉我那不是他打保龄球的手
Caroline, what did you do to Frank?
卡洛琳 你对弗兰克做了什么
He's our best player.
他是我们的王牌球手
It was totally an accident.
这真的是意外
I support your hobby. I was looking forward
我完全支持你的爱好 我一直很期待
to coming tonight and not waiting here, cutely.
今晚去看比赛 而不是在这里美美地等你回来
I'm fine.
我没事
Is my pinky supposed to be my longest finger?
我的小指本来就是最长那根手指吗
What are we gonna do?
现在我们怎么办
Well, like I told the producers of Deadliest Catch,
正如我对《致命捕捞》的制作人所说的那样
探索频道的纪录片 记录了在阿拉斯加帝王蟹季节
白令海域上渔船所发生的事情
looks like Captain Max is coming out of retirement.
看来麦克斯船长要重出江湖了
Good thing I still have my bowling glove.
还好我的保龄球手套还在
Max, that's an oven mitt.
麦克斯 那是微波炉手套
That's how good I am.
老娘就是有这么厉害
No pressure, but if you blow this,
不要有压力 但如果你搞砸了
I may never get married.
我可能这辈子都嫁不出去了
Oh, please, I once had to bowl to get out of North Korea.
拜托 我曾经靠打保龄球打出一条离开朝鲜的路
Max Black, Max Black!
麦克斯·布莱克 麦克斯·布莱克
She bowled to get her freedom back.
曾靠打球得自由 打到对手跪地求
That is a very specific cheer.
好量身定制的助威口号啊
Shabooya!
牛逼吧
You like that, suckers?
喜欢吗 废柴们
Bowling is not just for guys with their third DUI anymore.
保龄球不再是多次醉驾男人的天下啦
Max, that was amazing.
麦克斯 那真是太厉害了
The strike, I mean... what you're doing now is
我是说刚才那一球 你现在的举动就有点怪了
very offputting.
Well, it makes more sense if you imagine she's riding
或许这样有助于你理解 想象她在骑
a very small unicorn named Tito.
一只非常小的独角兽 名叫提托
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
好吧 看懂了 对吧
Look at this poor sucker.
瞧瞧这可怜的小家伙
I wasted $ in quarters yesterday on this thing.
老子昨天在这台机子上浪费了块的硬币
Good luck, kid.
祝你好运 孩子
Oh. He won.
好吧 他夹到了
Well, between Earl's clawlike hand
厄尔有像爪子一样的手
and the fact that Han was born in one of these machines,
而阿憨就出生于其中一台夹娃娃机
we've got a dream team here.
我们组了个明星梦之队啊
Now this is our Ocean's /.
这是我们的"一个半罗汉"
源自电影名《十一罗汉 Ocean's Eleven》
Now, you promised, if I win Barbara the
你答应过我 如果我帮芭芭拉夹到一个毛绒玩具
stuffed animal,
you'll come to my live action Clue party.
你会来参加♥我的真人版妙探寻凶
源自英国的老牌桌游 玩家均是嫌疑犯
I'll be playing Professor Plum.
我要扮演梅教授
Reimagined as an English dandy with a nose for trouble.
将他重塑为善于发现问题的英国雅痞
Great, and I'll play the butler who doesn't show up.
好啊 那我就扮演不会出现的男管家
I mean, we're not going, right?
我是说 我们都不会去 对吧
No!
对
You know I can hear you?
你们知道我能听见你们说话吧
Well, then you know we're not going.
那你就知道我们都不会去啦
Max, Max, she's got spunk!
麦克斯 麦克斯 她真有种
And she's only slightly drunk.
略有醉意 依旧能中
I haven't been slightly drunk in five beers.
我从来没试过喝五瓶啤酒就略有醉意
I think we got this.
我觉得我们赢定了
Thanks for horribly maiming Frank.
多谢你残忍地把弗兰克搞残废了
Two more pins and we're going to Detroit.
再倒两个瓶子 我们就可以去底特律了
Waiting for my ball to drop.
等待球[睾丸]落下中
Story of my life.
我的人生故事啊
This guy knows what I'm talking about.
这家伙懂我在说什么
有些男婴是到出生几个月后 睾丸才从腹腔落入阴囊
No, I don't.
不 我不懂
Lemme get the ball for you, Max.
我帮你拿球吧 麦克斯
Look, like I said to you at that allyoucaneat Indian buffet,
在吃到饱印度自助餐馆时 我对你说过
unless you wanna get bit, get out of the way.
除非你想被咬 否则别挡路
And like I said to you at the Indian buffet,
在印度自助餐馆时 我也对你说过
I just want to be part of this.
我只想参与其中
Damn it, my fingies!
妈的 我的手指
Max, I'm sorry!
麦克斯 对不起
Caroline, what did you do?
卡洛琳 瞧你干的好事
You're doing more damage to the team
你给我们队带来的伤害比
than when we tried to get separate checks at Macaroni Grill.
我们在意式餐厅试图分开算账时还大
Hey, if I don't drink, I don't pay.
酒我没喝 为啥要我摊
Eh, this was my picklesnatching hand.
这可是我掏咸菜罐的惯用手
Like I said at the Indian buffet,
就像我在印度自助餐馆说的那样
I think we might need an ambulance.
我觉得我们该叫救护车了
Wow, that was the craziest woman's room ever.
那真是我去过最疯狂的女厕所
It was filled with urinals and men.
里面全是小便池和男人
Wait a minute.
等等 好像走错了
Hey, did you get the stuffed animal for Barbara yet?
你们给芭芭拉夹到毛绒玩具了吗
No, but something more impressive happened.
还没 但更让人吃惊的事情发生了
And we're still not sure how.
我们至今没搞懂是怎么搞的
Like I said when I was watching the OA,
就像我看《先见之明》时说的那样
Netflix科幻悬疑新剧
what the hell am I looking at?
我他妈看的到底是什么啊
On the bright side, maybe she's not as dumb as you thought.
从好的一面看 或许她没有你想得那么傻
That claw machine is harder to get into
那台夹娃娃机比我邻居艾琳
than my neighbor Irene.
要难"进入"多了
We looked away for two seconds.
我们就两秒钟没看着她
Some 12 yearolds were making fun of Han,
某个12岁的小屁孩刚在嘲笑阿憨
so we piled on.
于是我们也加入了他的行列
We gotta get her out of there.
我们得赶紧把她弄出来
All right. I'll keep her entertained
好吧 我负责逗她开心
and you guys sneak up behind her with the claw.
你们操纵夹子从后面偷偷接近她
Max, so you don't think it's broken, do you?
麦克斯 你的手指应该没断吧
I know you've always wanted a hook,
我知道你一直很想要个手钩
but I don't wanna be the cause of it.
但我不想成为罪魁祸首
Is there any way you can use your left?
有没有可能用你的左手继续比赛
Out of the question. This one's just for show.
不可能 这只手是摆设
In an emergency, someone else can bowl for Max,
在紧急情况下 别人可以代替麦克斯上场
but since we're midgame,
但由于我们在比赛中
it must be someone of the same gender.
替她的人必须跟她同一性别
I was gonna see how this worked out before I dropped it on you.
我本来想在跟你说这话之前 看看这事怎么解决
I'm also league commissioner.
因为我也是联♥盟的委员
I'm sure one of you knows how to bowl.
我敢说你们俩肯定有人会打保龄球
Not to stereotype, but look at you.
不是有成见 但瞧瞧你俩
Bowling wives! Bowling wives!
球手娇妻 球手娇妻
It's time to help our bowling guys.
是时候帮帮我们的球手去
Think we should help her, hon?
我们应该帮她吗 亲爱的
That's right, we're having an affair.
没错 我们俩有私情
And no.
不要
Yeah, they won't do it.
好吧 他们俩不愿意
Is it too late to put Earl in a wig?
现在帮厄尔戴假发会不会太晚了
Oh, that takes hours.
那得折腾好几个小时呢
And I don't have the glue on me.
而我身上没带胶水
We're gonna have to forfeit.
我们只能被迫放弃了
I guess I Can't Believe It's Not Gutter
我猜"不敢相信这居然不是落沟球"队
is going to Detroit.
要去底特律了
And I can't believe it.
而我真的不敢相信
No. I can do the bowling.
不 我可以打保龄球
I have to because I think I'm years away from being on top.
我必须行 因为我还得好几年才能接受女上位
I have vertigo.
我有眩晕症
You are amazing.
你太棒了
All you need is two pins.
你只需击倒两个木瓶
And even if you don't get them,
就算你一个都不中
I'll still love you.
我依然爱你
But please get two pins.
但请务必击倒两个瓶子
Caroline, Caroline, she's on her own.
卡洛琳 卡洛琳 她要靠自己
If she doesn't get this, she'll die alone.
如果没成功 孤独地死去
Max, you know how much I hate that cheer.
麦克斯 你知道我有多讨厌这口号
May I please have a practice swoop on the court next door?
我能去隔壁球场先练练怎么撂球吗
Everyone else got practice swoops.
其他人都有先练习啊
Does she think rolling the ball down the lane
她是不是觉得把球扔进球道里
is called "swooping"?
叫"撂球"
I don't know. She calls sheets "bedding."
我不知道 她还管床单叫"寝具"呢
Uh, gutter ball. Someone's dying alone.
落沟球 有人要孤独地死去啦
Oh, that was my bad.
那是我的错
I should have told you. Aim away from the gutters.
我应该告诉你 不要瞄准那两条球沟
The gutters are the things on the sides.
球沟就是两侧那玩意
Just... just focus on the center,
就...就专注中间
whip it back, and...
手往后拉 然后...
Or do that.
或者这样也行
Oh, my God!
我的老天
The ten bases fell down!
十个瓶柱全倒了
I swooped them all!
我把它们都撂倒了
That was incredible.
真是不可思议
I hate to say it, but I had this crazy thought
虽然我很不想说 但之前我有个疯狂的想法
that you were trying to sabotage the team
你是故意祸害我们球队
because you hate bowling.
因为你讨厌保龄球
I thought so, too!
我也是这么想的
There's someone down there.
那下面有人
Max?
麦克斯
You cheated!
你们作弊
You can't pin this on me.
这不能怪[球瓶]我
How did Barbara get in the claw machine?
芭芭拉是怎么钻进夹娃娃机的呢
Well, we've ruled out magic.
我们已经排除掉魔法
Currently, our top theory is invisible gnomes.
现在我们最靠谱的想法是隐形的地精
Yeah, she may not be a genius,
是啊 她可能不是天才
but she goes after what she wants.
但她勇于追求内心所需
Like Oleg at Swingers Yoga.
就像奥列格上乱♥交瑜伽时那样
What you really had to see was Sophie going in after her.
你真该看看苏菲钻进去抓她时
She was face down, Spanx up.
她的脸朝下 塑身衣全露
Man, it was wild.
天 那画面太疯狂了
All right, we better get going before they realize
我们最好赶紧离开这 趁他们还没发现
we broke their claw machine and their sex booth
我们弄坏了他们的夹娃娃机和打炮亭
and two of the condom machines.
以及两台安全套贩卖机
There's always next season.
还会有下一赛季
We'll get back at it. I can work on some cheers.
到时候我们卷土重来 我可以想更多助威口号
You are never coming here again.
你再也不许来这里了
Thank you!
谢谢
Get a lane!
开个球道亲好吗
Take it easy, Larry.
轻点 拉里
Those are my handcuffs.
那是我的手铐
One day, I'll be able to come to a bowling alley
总有一天 我也能来保龄球馆打球
without leaving like this.
而不用这么被人押出去