卡罗琳挂科麦克斯学会调制酒

Here's your fish of the day.
这是您点的今日鱼餐
That day is last Monday.
这个今日指的是周一
Excuse me, miss?
小姐 不好意思
There's a hair in my meatloaf.
我的烘肉卷里有根头发
This never happens.
这事情绝对是个案
Oleg!
奥列格
We got a H at T!
T里有H
A hair? That's impossible.
毛发吗 不可能啊
Let me put some pants on.
我先把裤子穿上
I am so sorry
我深表遗憾
that you ordered the meatloaf.
您居然点了烘肉卷吃
Shouldn't he be in a hairnet?
他不是应该戴个发网吗
He should be in a prison.
他最应该的是进监狱
Good news.
好消息
It's not mine.
这根不是我的
That Propecia's really paying off.
我的生发剂真的很有效啊
Obviously, it's not mine. I'm blonde.
这也很明显不是我的 我是金毛丫头
You're not blonde everywhere.
你也不是全身都"金毛"啊
I love carpetanddrapes talk.
我就爱听人聊"地毯跟窗帘"
I want my money back.
我想要回我的钱
Me too.
我也想
Well, it ain't mine.
这根也不是我的
Last time my hair was this long,
我还有这么长的头发那会
I was a backup dancer on Solid Gold.
还是我年代在歌舞节目当舞者的时候呢
Han!
阿憨
We got a customer with a hair up his butt
我们有个龟毛屁事多的顾客
and one in his meatloaf.
他的后肉卷里也有根毛
Step aside.
一边去
Let an expert through.
待本山人一看究竟
Look, it's "Law and Order: SAD"
是电视剧《法律与秩序 特殊受矮者》
It's brown, somewhere between coffee and burnt sienna,
棕色毛发 介于咖啡色与深褐色之间
cleaned hastily with a combination shampoobody wash.
用洗发沐浴混合露潦草清洗过
Mm, this hair belongs to a single white man
这根头发的主人是个单身狗白人
alone, and not by choice, but so set in his ways
是没人爱 而非想单身 而且注定单身到死...
Okay!
够了
It's mine!
是我的头发
Next time you want a free meal,
下次想骗吃骗喝
order the fish of the day.
记得点今日鱼餐
Am I right, ma'am?
对吧 女士
Hey, can I order something?
我能点个东西吗
I'm gonna need to see some ID.
你得先出示证件
I'm getting the itch to hit the road again
我又想浪迹天涯了
and I'll need a new identity.
需要个新身份
I'll have a Moscow Mule.
我要一杯莫斯科驴子
用伏特加 姜汁汽水 莱姆汁调配 以铜杯盛酒
并以一片莱姆点缀
Uh, how about a Jolly Rancher shot?
来一杯综合水果饮料酒吧
They're one of our signature drinks,
这是我们的招牌饮品之一
served with a side of my fingerguns.
杯中还会以我的指枪点缀呢
How about a Moscow Mule
来一杯莫斯科驴子如何
since that's what I just ordered?
毕竟我刚才点的就是这个
Oh, are you sure?
你确定吗
The shot glasses are made of actual Jolly Ranchers.
烈酒杯是用真的水果饮料杯来装的呢
Kids love 'em.
小孩特爱呢
One Moscow Mule coming up.
一杯莫斯科驴子马上来
All righty.
好咧
You don't know how to make one, do you?
你不知道怎么调 对吧
No clue.
完全不会
How 'bout I just make it myself?
那我自己来调如何
Hmm, while you're at it, I'll have a Jack and Coke.
既然你都动手了 给我来杯杰克和可乐
用杰克丹尼威士忌与可乐混合调配而成
Always wanted to know what was in that.
一直都想知道这酒是用什么调出来的
Max, what's that guy doing behind you?
麦克斯 那个男的在你身后干嘛
You know I never look when they're back there.
你明知道男人在我身后干嘛时我从不回头看
Look, you can't let people serve themselves.
你不能让别人自己给自己服务
Again, not everything is a Hometown Buffet.
不是什么哪里都是自助餐店好吗
Uh, if it were, I'd be eating a biscuit
如果这里是 我已经在吃
with macaroni and pudding on top.
饼干通心粉加布丁了
People aren't ordering our signature drinks.
顾客都不点我们的招牌酒饮
They want real ones,
他们要喝真的酒
and I only know how to make the stuff on the menu.
但我只会调我们菜单上有的那些
And Molly lollipops, which I call "Mollipops"
还有摇♥头♥丸加棒棒糖 我叫它"加棒"
伏特加跟一根水果冰棒
Then let me do it.
那还是我来调吧
And is that why I slept for three days after
我万圣节后昏睡三天就是因为你的"特调酒"吗
Halloween?
Can I get a greyhound?
我能要灰狗吗
葡萄柚汁混伏特加或琴酒
Greyhound...
灰狗...
I don't drive for them anymore.
我已经不在灰狗巴士开大巴了
Politics!
政策啥的
Uh, you heard the man.
喂 有人点单了
We're not paying you to just stand around.
我们付钱给你可不是让你在这白站着
You're not paying me at all.
你们压根就没付我钱
Not with that attitude.
就你这态度还想挣钱
Believe me, if we could afford a bartender, we'd hire one.
相信我 我们要是够钱请酒保 早就请了
This obviously isn't working out for either of us.
看来这合作关系是合不来了
Was there a problem with your service?
给你的服务有啥问题吗 小费呢
Max, we need to talk about what happened last night.
麦克斯 我们得谈谈昨晚发生的事
Oh, crap, you said you were on the pill.
靠 你明明说你有在吃事前避孕药
We need someone at the dessert bar
我们甜品酒吧需要有个人
who knows how to make real drinks.
懂得怎么调真正的酒饮
Not that your "Cigarette butt and toni" wasn't a hit.
绝不是嫌弃你的"烟屁♥股汤力"销量不好
You said we couldn't afford a bartender...
是你说我们请不起酒保
or a mechanical bull,
或是买机械牛
在某些酒吧餐厅里会放机械牛游戏机 顾客可以
挑战像牛仔一样骑在上面不被甩下来
which would have paid for itself by now.
要是当时买了 现在早赚回本了
Here's my idea.
我有个主意
We are going to bartending school so we can
我们可以去上调酒课 这样...
and don't kick me be the best
别踹我 我们就能成为
no pinching, not my nose
别捏我 也别打鼻子
business we can be!
一家我们想成为的好店
G'doink.
我弹
You didn't say anything about G'doinks.
你没说不能弹
What do you think?
你觉得如何
Cause we're already signed up and it's nonrefundable.
因为我们已经报名付费 而且不能退钱了'
I took your share out of your piggy bong.
我从你的存钱小猪烟斗里拿了你的学费
You stole from Cheech and Change?
你居然从招财跟进宝里偷钱
Okay, you can say you hate the idea,
你不喜欢我这主意 说就是了
but you don't have to cry about it.
你不需要哇哇哭吧
Man, this baby's more full of crap
这孩子裤裆里的屎[一派胡言]多到
than a Coldplay album.
比酷玩乐队专辑里还多
Fine, I'll change your diaper, but when you grow up,
我现在替你换尿布 但等你长大了
you're going to have to return the favor.
记得还我这份情 也替我换
The diaper goes the other way!
尿布包反了
Earl, did that doll just talk
厄尔 是那个娃娃说话了
or are the voices telling me to kill again?
还是脑海中的声音又让我开始杀戮了
No, no, it's been yelling at me all day.
不是 这娃娃吼了我一整天了
Between this and the police chatter
除了这个 还有我助听器
I pick up on my hearing aid,
接收到的警察无线电
it's like a damn party in my head.
我脑子里就跟开派对似的
Roger that.
收到
Can this doll get any creepier?
这个娃娃还能再更吓人一点吗
Takes one to know one, Caroline.
卡洛琳 你也好不到哪去
Asked and answered.
你问了 她答了
Can't a lady have a smoke and a tinkle
一位淑女就不能抽烟撒尿时
without having to worry about her baby?
不用操心着自己的孩子吗
You were watching us from the toilet?
你刚才从厕所里在偷看我们吗
Can't you just hold your nose and hover like everyone else?
你不能像别人一样捂鼻子从隔间上方偷看吗
It's my surveillance doll. Look.
这是我的监控娃娃 你看
It's hooked up to an app in my phone.
它连接到我手机里的一个软件了
Look, she's got
看 她...
cameras in her eyeballs;
眼珠里有摄像头
she's got a microphone in her mouth;
嘴巴有个麦克风
and look, a laser pointer in her butt.
屁♥眼还有个激光指示器
Is that the American Girl Doll PATRIOT Act edition?
这是美国女孩娃娃之爱国者法案版吗
允许透过适当手段来阻止并避免恐怖主义 给执
法机关增大了各种搜索监察权限
Isn't she cute?
她是不是超可爱
Look, she's like my twin,
就像是我的双胞胎姐妹
only more alive.
差别只在比我更活生生
Thank you for keeping your eye on Barbara.
谢谢你替我留心照顾芭芭拉
Well, thanks so much.
非常谢谢你
I'd pay you,
我很乐意付你钱
but I know you're too proud to take the money.
但我知道你骄傲的自尊不容许自己收下钱
Uh, actually, the medical bills are piling up, Sophie.
苏菲 其实我的药费单堆积如山...
Well, see you later! And I could really use...
再见啦 我其实还挺需要...
If you need a free babysitter, that guy.
如果你需要免♥费保姆 找他
Is it just me
是我的问题
or is it hot and blurry in here?
还是店里又热又雾蒙蒙
Pardon me, sir.
先生 失礼了
Oh, my God, Han.
天啊 阿憨
You're covered in spots and you're delirious.
你浑身起了斑 还有幻觉
You have chicken pox.
你长水痘[鸡痘]啦
You also have chicken legs, so I guess you're even.
你也还有小鸡腿 所以你也算齐活儿啦
Han, you have to go home.
阿憨 你得回家隔离
You're contagious.
你这病有传染性
And not like my laugh.
而且不是我笑声这种好的传染性
Welcome to the Dinersburg Williams.
欢迎来到餐厅堡威廉斯
Who said that?
那胡话谁说的
You did! You have to go home.
是你说的 你必须得回家
Well, I suppose I could get into bed
我的确不介意回家躺床上
and Hulu a little Mindy Project.
在♥线♥看点《明迪烦事多》
又名《明迪人生计划》 受女性观众喜爱 一名
女妇产科医生的生活点滴喜剧
And, boy, is she a project.
哎妈 她可真"人生计划"啊
Han looked pretty unsteady.
阿憨看起来不太稳定
Do you think someone should make sure he gets home okay?
你觉得该找♥人确保他安全回家吗
Don't worry so much. He'll be fine.
别杞人忧天 他没事的
See? Fine.
你看 没事
I know this is just bartending class,
我知道这只是调酒课
but gum, please?
但麻烦吐出口香糖
That was chewing tobacco, FYI.
告诉你 这其实是嚼用烟草
We need to take this seriously, Max.
麦克斯 我们得认真上课
Is that a pocket knife?
那是小折刀吗
Uh, yeah.
是啊
How are they gonna know I was here
我要是不在桌子上刻名字缩写
if I can't carve my initials in the desk?
他们怎么知道我在这上课
Maybe we should sit at separate workstations.
或许我们俩不应该坐在同一个工作台
I'm obviously gonna be the top student here
我很明显会是班级尖子生
and I don't want to be associated with your
我不想跟你那
rebel without health insurance" attitude.
"又叛逆又没医保"的姿态扯上关系"
Fine, smell you later.
随便你 拜拜
Hi.
你好
I haven't been in a class
我毕业后就没上过课
since I graduated from Wharton.
我是从沃顿商学院毕业的
It's an Ivy League I went to Harvard.
是常春藤盟校... 我哈佛大学毕业的
Wharton was my safety school.
沃顿是我当年的保底学校
Max, do you still have that pocket knife?
麦克斯 你的小折刀还在吗
Okay, I think everyone is here.
好了 我看大家应该都到了
Hi, my name is Gil Bronski
大家好 我叫吉尔·布朗斯基
and I am in no rush to go home.
我完全不着急下班回家
I live with my mother and her three cats,
我跟我母亲以及她的三只猫同住
two of whom have diarrhea.
其中两只最近在拉稀
I thought it was an icebreaker.
我还以为是搞笑开场呢
No, it's a carpetruiner.
不 是地毯开花了
Oh, thanks, Julie.
谢谢捧场 朱莉
Julie's killing it.
朱莉大杀四方啊
Now, you're probably all wondering,
我想你们大家都在好奇
How did this former child actor
"眼前这位前童星"
Briefly sidelined by a year drug addiction
因为年的毒瘾而短暂坐冷板凳
find himself teaching bartending school?"
是怎么沦落到来教人调酒呢"
Just got lucky?
因为撞大运了吗
Just got lucky!
就是撞大运了
Now, who can answer this?
你们谁能回答这题
He hasn't asked it yet, asskissers.
他都还没问呢 马屁精们
Churchill declared war while sipping a Long Island Iced Tea.
丘吉尔喝着长岛冰茶宣布开战
The Magna Carta, French Revolution,
大宪♥章鸡尾酒 法国大革命鸡尾酒
my three divorces,
我的三次离♥婚
what's the common denominator?
它们的共同点在哪里
Booze, duh.
酒啊 废话
Booze, duh!
酒啊 废话
She didn't raise her hand.
她没举手
Boy, we have got some eager beavers here, don't we?
哎哟 貌似来了一些装认真逼啊
Ha, that's what my pimp told us at our working
上班午餐时间 鸡头也对我们说了这句话
brunch.
Now...
其实呢
I have only one rule.
我个人只有一个规矩
No
不许...
Interruptions.
打断我
This is crazy; no one has called me in six years.
这不可能 都六年没人给我打过电话了
I would have guessed longer.
我还以为更久了呢
Thanks, Julie.
谢谢捧场 朱莉
Let's make some drinks!
大家来调酒吧
Oh, my God. I love school so much.
我的天啊 我爱死上学了
How am I expected to know the difference
我为什么应该知道
between a vodka sunrise and a vodka sunset?
伏特加日出跟伏特加日落的差别在哪啊
日出比日落的伏特加含量少 但柳橙汁较多 日
出还加红石榴糖浆 而日落是加葡萄柚汁
hours and a missing pair of pants.
差了小时与少了一条裤子
Now, shh. I'm studying.
别吵 我在学♥习
That was the first homework I've ever done.
这是我这辈子第一次做功课
I've never seen you take anything this seriously.
我从来没见过你对一件事这么上心
And you had rabies once.
之前得狂犬病你都没这样
Stop joking around. This is for school.
别胡闹了 这是为了学校呢
Where did you get those glasses, The Golden Girls?
你从哪里弄来的眼镜 《黄金女郎》吗
年代以四位老年女人为主角的喜剧
For the first time in my life, I want to learn goodly.
这是我这辈子第一次想好好"的"学习♥呢
Max, have we switched bodies?
麦克斯 我们是互换了身体吗
If so, enjoy chlamydia.
如果真是这样 好好享受性病吧
I want to do well on this test.
我想考试考高分
I want to get a, uh...
我想得到...
what's the good letter?
高分的那个字母是啥来着
AIt's an A.
是得
And I think this is gonna be the first time I don't get one.
我想这大概是我这辈子第一次得不到了
I am just not connecting to the material.
我完全看不进去这些教材
Like scifi comedy, I mean, pick a lane.
就像是科幻喜剧 好好选一方向不行吗
Well, give me that book
把那本书给我
cause I'm gonna nail this bartending exam
因为老娘要搞定这次调酒考试'
like it's some guy I met at the grocery store.
就像搞定超市里认识的陌生男人一样
Most of my tests just had "See me" written at the top.
我大部分的考试结果上面都写着"来办公室见我"
Mine always had,
我的总是写着
You've done it again, Caroline Channing"
"你又成功了 卡洛琳·钱宁""
And I have to do it again. Let me try making a drink.
我必须再次成功 让我做杯喝的试试
Okay. Bartender?
好的 酒保
Make me a Bloody Mary.
给我做杯血腥玛丽
The drink, not my friend Mary Nichol
要喝的哦 不是我那个
who got her period in fourth grade.
四年级就来大姨妈的朋友玛丽
I have to get this.
我必须会做这个
I know the bloody part is tomato juice,
我知道血腥部分是用番茄汁
but what the hell is the Mary?
但玛丽是什么鬼啊
I should know. I've dated so many.
我应该知道的呀 毕竟我跟很多玛丽约会过
I'll give you a hint.
我给你个提示吧
Rhymes with "Schmodka"
跟"屎莫加"最后一字相同
Grodka!
哥得加
That's not even a thing. What is wrong with me?
这都不是个字 我真是脑抽了
Vodka.
应该是伏特加
Um, that was clam juice.
那是蛤蜊汁
Sure was.
我当然知道
Pick up, hot...
上菜 新鲜出炉的...
doll.
娃娃
The Sophie doll?
苏菲娃娃
Well, it's covered in hair
上面全是头发
so it'll pass as food around here.
所以在这里可以算是食物啦
Just get rid of it.
替我扔了它就行
Sophie's constantly using it to criticize me,
苏菲时不时用它来批评我
so I disconnected her app.
所以我断开了她连接的软件
I mean, how many times can she yell at me
我是说 她到底要为了这事嚷我多少遍啊
to wash my hands after going to the bathroom?
不就是上完厕所后要洗手吗
Every time?
每次都该嚷吧
That doll is driving me crazy.
这个娃娃快逼疯我了
Plus, I think I'm...
再说了 我觉得自己...
starting to have feelings for it.
要开始爱上它了
Fine. I'll take her.
好吧 给我吧
I haven't had a possessed doll
我好久没有鬼娃娃了
since Chucky moved out in '.
鬼娃恰吉在年就搬走了
美国恐怖经♥典电影《灵异入侵》里的杀人娃娃
Now, he could make a Bloody Mary.
他能做"血腥"玛丽
And a bloody Denise and a bloody Julio.
还能做"血腥"丹妮丝 还有"血腥"胡里奥
Speaking of creepy dolls come to life.
一说起死回生的恐怖娃娃 就真来一个
Han, if you have open sores, you have to go home.
阿憨 如果会传染 你就必须待家里
Not that it's stopped anyone else who works here.
虽然你的员工也都不是有传染病就待家里
I can't go home.
我有家回不得
I took an oatmeal bath to get rid of the itching,
我为了止痒洗了个燕麦浴
and it flooded my apartment.
结果公寓被淹了
I tried eating it down,
我试着吃了它
but I passed out and nearly suffocated.
结果昏倒 还差点窒息身亡
Well, find a nice subway bench to curl up on.
找个好点的地铁长凳 蜷在上面
Or even a Subway sandwich.
或者赛百味的三明治也行
You know how embarrassing it would be to catch a disease
你知道如果被一个没上过床的家伙传染得病
from a guy I haven't slept with?
这事有多丢脸吗
What? Do I have something in my teeth?
干嘛 我牙齿上有东西吗
Yes, of course. But not that.
当然有 但问题不在牙齿
Max, I think you have chicken pox.
麦克斯 你好像也得了水痘
Well, I could make this less embarrassing for you.
我可以让你少丢一点脸
We could have sex.
我们可以上床啊
I can't believe that little Outbreak monkey
真不敢相信那只小病猴居然
美国电影《恐怖地带》 讲诉走私非洲野猴而将病
毒传入美国
gave me the pox!
把水痘传染给我
If I get my mittens on him, I'm gonna tear him
如果他落入我的手套里 那我一定
from tiny limb to tiny limb.
把他撕成碎片
Best I stay in the bathroom then?
那我最好还是待在浴室别出来吗
No.
不
Come on out, patientzerofriends.
出来吧 第一感染源病友
I need you to enter your Netflix password.
我需要你输入你的网飞视频网密码
It's "Han job ."
密码是"打憨机"
You're the one who set it.
你给我设的啊
And thanks for letting me crash here.
谢谢你让我暂住在你家
I'm not sure you can legally make me your
我不确定你能否合法将我变成你一辈子的男佣
butler for life,
but I did sign the contract.
但我的确签了卖身契
I'm still feeling a little woozy.
我还觉得有点头晕眼花
Hello, Sophie.
你好呀 苏菲
Don't change the subject.
少给我转移话题
For the first time, I really wanted to go to school.
老娘第一次这么想去学校
I know I could fit your head in my toilet,
我知道我可以把你的头塞进我马桶
but I wonder if I can get your whole body in there.
但我很好奇我能不能把你整个身子塞进去
Wow, you really put the "bitch" in "itch."
你的"婊气"真是气得我浑身"痒"
Could you?
能帮我挠挠吗
Ah, that's the stuff.
就是这样
Now get my back.
现在换你帮我挠
You like that? Is it hard enough?
爽不爽 够不够力
Am I hurting you?
我会不会弄疼你了
Don't flatter yourself.
你少自作多情以为自己"猛"了
Don't stop till I get enough.
我没爽够前不许停
Won't that be easier if Max takes her shirt off?
让麦克斯把上衣脱掉不是更方便吗
Oleg!
奥列格
Are you spying on us?
你是在监视我们吗
Momma.
妈妈
I am so screwed.
我完蛋了我
The bartending test is in two hours,
离调酒考试还有两小时
and I can't remember what goes in a White Lady.
而我却记不住白色佳人酒里面有啥
A bottle of chardonnay
一瓶夏敦埃酒下肚
and then a fat guy that makes her laugh.
一个逗她发笑的肥佬就可以进入"里面"
Is that Caroline?
那是卡洛琳吗
She sounds like she's not wearing underwear.
她的声音听上去像没穿内衣
How did Oleg get inside the doll?
奥列格怎么会在一个娃娃"里面"
Wish it was the first time I said that.
真希望我是第一次说这话
I got the app,
我下了那款软件
and now I have a Saturday night.
现在我也有周六夜"现场"了
Oleg, have you seen my Sophie doll?
奥列格 你有看见我的苏菲娃娃吗
Uh...I haven't seen her.
没有看见呢
Gotta go.
先挂啦
Wait, this thing works with any phone?
等等 这玩意什么手机都能用吗
Oh, my God, Max, we can use the doll
天啊 麦克斯 我们可以利用这个娃娃
so you can read me the ingredients for drinks on the test.
这样你就可以在考试时把酒的配方告诉我
You mean cheat? At school?
你是说作弊吗 在学校作弊吗
Wow, maybe we did switch bodies.
哇 或许我们真的互换了身体
Rats. Oh, thank God.
胡说 还是平的 谢天谢地
Is there any way I could get either of you
我能不能让你们俩其中一个
to scratch my tumtum?
帮我挠挠肚皮呢
Here.
给
The nails are real.
指甲触感好真实哦
Nice shirt, nerd.
上衣不错啊 书呆妹
Ooh, nice shirt.
上衣不错嘛
Thanks, Mr. B.
谢谢 布先生
Any love for my shirt?
要夸夸我的上衣吗
Mm, feels desperate.
感觉拍马屁用力过猛
Hey, where's Max?
麦克斯呢
A bunch of us are going to Chili's after class.
我们一帮人打算课后一起去吃饭
Max is sick, but I'm totally free.
麦克斯生病了 但我有空
Mm, reservation's only for ten.
只预定了个人的位子
But Max isn't here, so I can take her spot.
但麦克斯不在 我可以坐她的位子啊
You'd think.
想得美
What's that?
那是什么
Oh, this is my emotional support doll.
那是我的精神支柱娃娃
I brush her hair and it calms me down.
帮她梳头有助于让我平静
I'm not insane.
我可不是疯子
Hey, I've been saying that for years!
这话我都说了年了
All right, kiddies,
好了 孩子们
I need ten drinks in ten minutes.
分钟做杯鸡尾酒
Or, as a blackedout me once said,
有次喝得断片的我曾说过
Let's get this starty parted."
"让开对派始吧""
Begin.
开始
Max, are you there?
麦克斯 你在吗
Can you see the setup?
你看见桌上分好的材料了吗
I see you and Julie both
我看见你和朱莉俩人
shop at Tommy BahBrown Nose.
都在马屁精服饰店买衣服
Care for a cinnamon stick in your cocoa?
你的可可里要加肉桂条吗
Never mind, a millipede carried it off.
当我没问 一只千足虫把肉桂条拿走了
How's school? Did anybody ask about me?
学校怎么样 有人问起我吗
Tell Keith whassup.
帮我向基思问好
And tell Dave whassup, but not in front of Keith.
还有向戴夫问好 不过别当着基思的面
Max, focus.
麦克斯 别分心
The first drink I have to make is a Negroni.
我要做的第一杯鸡尾酒是尼格龙尼
And I'll tell you how to make it
我马上就告诉你怎么做
as soon as you relay a message to Jeff
只要你先帮我给杰夫捎个话
that goes a lot like this:
原话是这样的
whassup.
你好啊啊啊
Max says, "Whassup, whassup."
麦克斯说"你好啊啊啊 你好啊啊啊"
Okay, I'm listening.
好了 你快说
Gin.
琴酒
No, that's not gin.
不 那不是琴酒
Did you even go to kindergarten?
你难道没念过幼儿园吗
It's the one right next to it.
是它旁边那瓶
Got it.
知道了
Wow, I am really cheating.
我真的在作弊耶
I am such a bad girl.
我真是个坏女孩
Here we go, hot cocoa Hanstyle.
做好了 阿憨特调热可可
Complete with a frothy marshmallow layer.
上面加了一层泡沫棉花糖
Ooh, marshmallows.
棉花糖
And marshmallows, got it.
还有棉花糖 知道了
No, no, no, not you.
不不不 不是跟你说
I was talking to Swiss Miss over here.
我刚才在跟瑞士小姐说话呢
美国家喻户晓的可可饮品牌子
Aah...
啊...
choo.
嚏
Man, you are acting crazier than me
天啊 你比我跟踪
when I was stalking Tom Hanks.
汤姆·汉克斯那会还疯
It's okay, it's okay.
没事 没事
You spilled all over the book.
你洒得整本书都是
I can't read a thing. How is this okay?
我一个字都看不清了 怎么会没事
Because...
因为...
that was your cocoa.
有事的是你的可可
How do you like your girl Swiss Miss now?
你现在喜欢你的女佣瑞士小姐了吗
You better grab something to dry this book off.
你最好赶紧拿东西把书擦干
Bookoff? Is that a vodka?
书擦干 那是一种伏特加吗
音似皇冠伏特加smiroff Vodka
I'm panicking. I'm gonna fail.
我好恐慌 我要挂科了
Aw, cheating on a bartending test?
调酒考试居然作弊
I am gonna tell you the same thing I told The Situation:
我要把对《战火迷情》剧组说的那句话送给你
you take it on back to Jersey.
你还是滚回老家吧
Good one, Mr. B.
说得好 布先生
Oh, thanks, Julie.
谢谢 朱莉
I am so sorry, Mr. Bronski.
非常抱歉 布朗斯基老师
Please don't fail me. I'll do anything.
只要让我通过 我什么都愿意做
But nothing sexual.
但不上床
I mean, after all, it's just bartending school.
毕竟这只是学调酒的学校 不值得我卖肉
I'm gonna take this doll with me.
这个娃娃归我了
She's gonna be our tenth at Chili's.
她来填补今晚餐厅多出的空位
Hey, Mr. B, whassup!
布先生 你好呀啊啊
Hi, Max.
你好呀 麦克斯
I just can't get it out of my head.
我至今无法忘记那个画面
It was terrible.
太可怕了
He ripped apart the doll right in front of me.
他当着我的面把娃娃撕成两半
And then this part I couldn't even tell you,
接下来这部分我都不好意思告诉你
I f...
我...
Failed? Farted!
挂科了 放屁了
You know how my stomach gets when I'm upset.
你也知道我一难受 肚子也跟着难受
Well, if it makes you feel any better,
如果能让你觉得好过些
I woke up with me and Han spooning.
我醒来时发现我跟阿憨相拥而眠
Which spoon were you?
你是拥人还是被拥人
The one with the stiffie in her back for three hours.
后面被小鸡鸡顶了三个小时的人
Hey, everybody.
大家安安
We just stopped in for a Jolly Rancher shot
我们只是过来喝一杯综合水果饮料酒
on our way to a live sex show.
然后就去看现场做♥爱秀了
Sophie, where's the baby?
苏菲 宝宝呢
Oh, she's with the babysitter.
她跟保姆在一起
Some perverted SOB stole my Sophie doll.
某个变态混♥蛋偷了我的苏菲娃娃
I realized that
我意识到
it's okay not to watch baby Barbara for .
其实不用一天小时 一周天都看着芭芭拉
You know, in Poland, we get the extra day.
在波兰 我们一周会多一天
For dredging the lakes.
拿来疏浚湖泊
Why don't you go get us a table, Sophie?
要不你去找张桌子坐下吧 苏菲
Okay.
好的
Any chance of getting that doll back?
还有机会把娃娃拿回来吗
I really underestimated how strong my feelings for it
我真是低估了我之前对它的爱有多强烈
were.
I know.
我知道
I was the one who walked in on you brushing her hair.
就是我不小心撞见你帮她梳毛发的啊
And I was the one who asked you not to repeat that.
也是我让你别把这事说出去的啊
I'll have a mojito.
我要一杯莫吉托
Sorry, we don't do offmenu drinks.
抱歉 我们不做点单上没有的酒
I'm on it.
我来吧
One mojito coming up.
一杯莫吉托 马上好
What are you doing? We failed the class.
你这是做什么 我们明明挂科了
Ooh, first time I didn't fart saying that.
我第一次说这话时不放屁
You failed.
是你挂了
Between studying and helping you cheat,
在学♥习和帮你作弊的时候
I learned how to make every drink in that book.
我学会了做那本书上所有的鸡尾酒
Oh, my God, Max, you learned something.
天啊 麦克斯 你真的有学到东西
I failed so you could succeed.
我挂了是为了让你能成功
So in a way, I succeeded too.
所以在某种程度上 我也成功了
You've done it again, Caroline Channing.
你又成功了 卡洛琳·钱宁
Oh, yeah!
太爽了
Oh. The live sex show is here.
原来现场做♥爱秀是在这里