卡罗琳捍卫餐厅掰腕取胜
What the hell are we doing here on a Tuesday afternoon?
我们好好的周二下午在这里干嘛
The only customer we had was Earl
我们唯一的顾客是厄尔
and he forgot he works here and ordered lunch.
他忘了自己在这里工作 还跟我们点了午餐
First of all, you are forgetting the pack of dogs
首先 你忘了那群溜了进来
that wandered in, had an orgy, and left.
在我们店里大杂交一番就跑掉的野狗
Probably easy for me to forget 'cause
我这么容易就忘掉这件事
I wasn't the one they tried to have sex with.
大概是因为它们想搞的对象不是我
And we still have to work here because our dessert bar's
其次 我们还在这里工作的原因是因为
only been open a week; we need income.
甜品酒吧才开一周 我们需要这笔收入
I don't like working in the daytime.
我不喜欢白天上班
You can see freaky things in this light.
明亮的光线会让你看见一堆奇怪事物
Look, there's an ant carrying a stool.
你看有只蚂蚁在搬凳子[屎]
Look, there's a waitress carrying nothing.
看啊 有个屁都不搬的服务员
Wow, Han, you have newstool money?
阿憨 你居然有钱买新凳子
Are you in Forbes' " Under Feet?"
你上了福布斯"以下尺男"排行吗
I didn't buy this. Lady Luck threw me a bone.
不是我买的 是幸运女神的赏赐
I'm sure she hated herself in the morning.
我敢肯定她早上醒来一定恨死自己
A beloved old man in my building passed away,
我们楼里一名受人敬爱的长者去世了
and after the neighbors paid our solemn respects,
在街坊邻居们都献上哀悼之意后
we cleaned the dump out.
我们搬空了他家
Han, that is so disrespectful.
阿憨 这也太大不敬了吧
We didn't get a text?
我们怎么没收到短信通知
Ooh, I forgot my sweet hemorrhoid doughnut I scored.
差点忘了我抢到的甜甜圈形痔疮坐垫
You don't need hemorrhoids to enjoy it.
无论有没有痔疮都能享用
Hemorrhoid doughnut.
甜甜圈形痔疮坐垫
All of the comfort and none of the calories.
不含卡路里 舒适到心底
Ooh! A new stool.
新凳子啊
is shaping up to be a great year.
年感觉是丰收的一年啊
That's Han's stool.
那是阿憨的凳子
Well, Han's stool just bought
阿憨的凳子刚买了一张
a oneway ticket to Earl's butt.
直达厄尔屁♥股的有去无回票
This the saddest episode of Game of Thrones
这真是我看过最凄凉的一集
I've ever seen.
"权凳的游戏"
Still, I'm rooting for the dwarf.
不过我还是支持矮人
Tonight, we are hitting the chicest spot in Williamsburg
今晚我们要出征威廉斯堡最潮之处
to poach their chicest patrons.
去抢他们最潮的客人
If we start out with a cool clientele,
如果基础客户能建立在
models, gays,
模特 男同性恋
rich guys that want to have sex with models and gays,
还有想搞模特跟男同的有钱人上
we'll be an inspot for at least five years.
起码未来五年我们都会是炙手可热的潮店
Were you talking to me that whole time?
你刚才是在跟我说话啊
Who else would I be talking to?
不然我还能是在跟谁说
You're the only one here.
这里只有你一个人
That was a Randy giggle.
你那个是兰迪花痴笑
And that's Randy's penis.
而这个是兰迪的大雕
Not all of it. It's a pretty small screen.
不是全部 这屏幕挺小的
Yeah, we decided to continue our nonexclusive,
我们决定继续我们的开放恋爱式的
longdistance, sexting thing.
远距离性♥爱短信
Is that the Oxford English Dictionary definition?
这个是牛津英语词典上的解释吗
If Oxford likes to get naked and squat over a
如果牛津也喜欢光身在手机上做深蹲那就是
phone.
But your girl's running out of sexting ideas.
但你的姐妹就要想不出性♥爱短信内容啦
There's only four emojis that look like penises.
只有四个表情符号看起来像阴♥茎
Five if you count the corn on the cob.
算上连皮玉米那个符号 那就五个
Don't ruin the corn on the cob for me.
拜托别毁连皮玉米符号在我心中形象
I use that for barbecues and farmers markets.
我用它来表示烧烤会跟农贸市场
That's what you were talking about?
原来你之前说的是这意思啊
I've just been adding "in my pants" to everything.
我现在就把所有话都加上"我裤裆里的"
Example:
比如说
What do you think about climate change
"你觉得我裤裆里的"
in my pants?"
气候变化怎么样"
Come on, I need you focused tonight.
拜托你 我需要你今晚集中注意力
No more sexting.
别发性♥爱短信了
Just put it away and tell him to do the same.
把手机扔一边去 让他也这样
All right, let me just find the eggplant emoji
好了 让我找找茄子的表情符号
and, of course, the pants.
还有裤子的符号
Hey, girls.
姑娘们
Oh, do you need a hand there, Soph...
苏菲 你需要帮忙吗...
I can do it!
我能行
Sophie, why the enormous oldtimey stroller?
苏菲 为什么要推超大台老式婴儿车
There better be a cartoon baby
这豪气座驾里最好有个
dressed like Al Capone in that thing.
穿得像传奇黑帮大哥的卡通婴儿
Hey, girls,
两位
can Barbara and me stay down here tonight?
我今晚能跟芭芭拉在你家暂住一晚吗
Oleg and I can't have sex for two more weeks
我跟奥列格还得再等两周才能做♥爱
and it's just getting too steamy up there.
楼上干柴烈火一点就要着了
So, that explains the heavy panting
难怪我们能从四面八方
we're hearing through our ceiling, our walls, and
屋顶 墙壁 还有最恶心人的
most disturbing of all, our drain.
排水口听到喘息声
I gotta pee.
我想去嘘嘘
I gotta go all the time now.
我现在无时无刻想嘘嘘
You know, that's something that you girls need to know about me.
有件事我得告诉你们俩
Any time that we talk,
每次我们说话
I'm peeing a little bit.
我都在漏尿
Uh... yeah.
哎 爽
There's daddy's little jock block.
看看爸爸的小拦"鸡"虎
I tried to release my sexual frustration creatively,
我尝试用创意的方式舒缓我房事不如意
but my erotic poetry
但我投稿的情♥色诗歌
was rejected by National pornographic
被《国家"弟立"》杂志拒绝了
for being, quote, "Just disgusting."
理由是"太下流恶心"
My sexts are so lame.
我的性♥爱短信就苍白无力
Why can't I be disgusting?
为什么我就做不到下流恶心
There's a burrito stuck to the side of your dresser.
你的梳妆台侧边还卡着一个墨西哥卷饼
You're there.
你绝对够恶心
Can't wait for you to put your butt
"等不及在我裤裆里把"
on top of... my butt
你的屁♥股放到
in my pants"?
我的屁♥股上"
Jeez, thanks for the nice break from being horny.
我去 谢谢你让我的淫♥虫全尴尬至死
I am not proud of how not slutty it is.
性♥爱短信不够污 我也很苦恼啊
Now, give me back my phone. It hasn't had its shots.
快把我的手机还我 它还没打过性病疫苗
Sent. What?
已发送 什么
Your testicles are two glistening Cadbury Eggs,
"你的蛋蛋就像两颗闪耀的巧克力蛋"
and Mama's got a sweet tooth."
而老娘最爱吃甜食了"
This mama's got puke in her mouth.
而老娘现在超级想吐
I cannot believe you'd send something so disgusting.
我真不敢相信你会发这么恶心的东西
You are dead to m...
我恨死...
He likes it!
他喜欢
You want to turn a man on?
想把男人撩得欲♥火焚身吗
Heh, you call Oleg.
请致电奥列格
I hope it doesn't make you too jealous, but
希望不会让你太吃醋 不过...
I was just sexting with Randy.
我刚才跟兰迪发了性♥爱短信呢
Yeah?
是吗
Caroline, get the hose.
卡洛琳 去拿水管
Okay, now remember, we're targeting models, gays,
记住 我们目标是模特 男同性恋
and upwardly mobile millennials with discretionary income.
还有钱多没处花的富二代
Basically anyone better than us.
基本上比我们强的任何人都行
Were you talking to me that whole time?
你刚才又都是在跟我说话了吗
And yes, I was talking to you that whole time.
是的 我刚才都是在跟你说话
IDs, please?
请出示证件
You know they don't force you to use
你知道他们不会逼你一定要用
the first picture they take.
拍出来的第一张照吧
I'm eating a pickle in mine.
我的证件照里我在吃腌瓜
I think you look great.
我觉得你看起来很好啊
Hi, I'm Jake.
你好 我叫杰克
Hi, Jake.
你好啊 杰克
ID, Jake?
杰克 证件
He's about ,
他大概岁
lots of discresh income?
能自由花用的收入挺多
exactly.
正是岁
Guess my weight and I'll buy you a drink.
猜对我的体重 我就请你喝酒
So, um, how do you maintain such a dorkless clientele?
你们是如何保持没有白♥痴客人的环境
I need to know 'cause I have a roommate situation.
我有个智障室友方面的问题
Watch and learn, pickles.
看着学吧 腌瓜妹
Oh, sweet,
赞啊
I found Carmen Sandiego.
卡通《神偷卡门》的卡门来了
I don't know where in the world you're going, buddy,
我不知道你这次想闯进哪里
but it ain't in here.
但这里你是别想了
Oh, you got this.
这里有你搞定
But do not let the guy in the overalls
但千万别让那个背带裤男走掉
get out of here without me calling him "Farmer Yawn."
得等我叫完他"哈欠小农"才能放他走
Max, I am killing it.
麦克斯 我简直是如鱼得水啊
Jake, you've met.
你刚才见过杰克了
Nahani and Ariel are models.
娜哈尼跟艾瑞儿都是模特
They can eat whatever they want.
她们吃啥都不会胖
Hate them.
羡慕嫉妒恨啊
And then, this is Tad and Jameson, they're gay.
而这两位是泰德与詹姆森 是同性恋
I perform reenactments
我透过芭比娃娃
of the life and tragic death of Amy Winehouse with
来演绎女歌手艾米·怀恩豪斯她悲剧的一生
Barbies.
I work at Staples.
我在文具店工作
Oh, power couple.
权力夫夫啊
None of New York's elite are here, besides me.
纽约的精英界人士 除了我 都不在此
I guess I'm not going backstage at Barbie
看来我是不够格去芭比·怀恩豪斯秀的后台了
Winehouse.
You tried to make them come to this bar
你试着邀请他们来酒吧
and they said, "No, no, no."
而他们说"不要 不要 不要"
已逝女歌手艾米·怀恩豪斯歌曲《Rehab》的歌词
My gay guys at :.
我的基佬们在点钟方向
I spoke too soon.
我话说太早了
And you spat a little.
你还喷了点口水
Tad! Jameson!
泰德 詹姆森
Welcome to the M and C Dessert Bar.
欢迎来到麦与卡的甜品酒吧
No, you're not dreaming!
不 你不是在做梦
If they were, we'd be shirtless dudes.
他们如果是在做梦 我俩会是上空裸男
This place is fabulous.
这里赞赞哒
Can I have one of these cookie doughtinis?
我能点一杯这个饼干面团丁尼吗
It's my cheat night,
今晚是我的出轨夜
that's why I'm with him.
所以我才跟他来
Hmm, not sure who these gals are.
我不知道这些女壮士哪来的
Max, did you talk about this place at Pep Boys?
麦克斯 你在修车厂提起过我们店吗
I told Manny and Moe,
我跟曼尼还有摩尔说了
but I didn't say a word to Jack.
但我绝对没跟杰克提
知名连锁修车厂 名字中带有"曼尼 摩尔与杰克
Oh, Tad. Let me get you another one.
泰德 让我再给你续一杯
It's fine, it's fine.
没事 没事
It is? No.
真的没事吗 有事
That's gay for "We're leaving."
"没事没事"就是基佬语的"我们要走了"
They chased off my hot gay guys.
她们把我的帅男同们吓跑了
I don't want to be rude here,
我不想无礼
but who invited these horrible women?
但是谁邀请这些女汉子的
Charlene's in the house!
夏琳驾到
And there it is. Damn it, Max.
凶手来了 我去 麦克斯
Why did you invite your bouncer buddy
你为什么要邀请你的门卫朋友来啊
when you know I'm trying to cultivate a vibe?
你明知道我想营造个高档客群环境
I didn't invite her.
我没邀请她啊
And I did not think she'd be wearing gym shorts
我也不知道她会穿运动短裤
and a SUNY Albany sweatshirt.
跟纽约州立大学奥尔巴尼分校的卫衣啊
Hey, I know you guys were trying to get the cool crowd in here,
我知道你们想要邀请很屌♥的客人来
so, you know,
所以 不用谢啦
boom!
屌♥炸
And where are they? The cool people?
所以你说的很屌♥的客人们都在哪
All right. Take it easy.
好啦 放轻松
Maybe they are cool.
说不定人家都很屌♥呢
Is that one eating a PB and J?
那个人在吃花生果酱三明治吗
All right!
好啦
Who wants to take on Big Reba?
谁想来跟大瑞芭比比
Take on how?
怎么比比
Max, you speak Goon.
麦克斯 你会流氓语
How? How... how?
怎么 怎么比啊
Not fluently.
我流氓语水平不佳啊
I only lived in Goon for a semester.
我只在流氓市住过一学期
You're on.
那来挑呗
On how?
怎么挑啊
How... how?
怎么 是要怎么挑
Oh good, they brought rope.
太好了 她们还带了绳子
I hope they brought some for me too.
希望她们有多带一点让我上吊
And they did not bring deodorant.
可她们没带腋下除臭剂
Ladies, what is this
女士们 这是闹哪样
and how can we make it stop?
怎么样才能让你们停下呢
You got a front row seat to New York City's elite
你们得到机会前排近距离观赏
underground ladies' arm wrestling.
纽约精英级地下女子掰腕子大赛
One, two, three,
一 二 三
wrestle!
开掰
Oh, my God.
天啊
I own an arm wrestling bar.
我拥有一间掰腕子酒吧
No, you don't.
你才没有
We own an arm wrestling bar!
是我们拥有一家掰腕子俱乐部
I hope you're texting Charlene
希望你是在发短信给夏琳
and the rest of her WWE Raw crowd
跟她的"职业手腕摔跤"同伴们
to never come back to our bar.
别再回来我们店
Uh, you were sobbing and begging them to stop.
你一边哭哭啼啼一边跪求她们停下
I think she got the message.
我想她应该知道你意思了
I don't know if she was listening.
我不知道她有没有听进去啊
She was carrying Big Reba around on her shoulders.
她当时忙着把大瑞芭扛在肩膀上绕场
This is pitiful.
这也太凄凉了吧
I just sexted Randy a picture of a penguin.
我刚拿企鹅照片当性♥爱短信发给了兰迪
I don't even think penguins are that sexy!
我压根都不觉得企鹅性感
Oh, my God. Everything is turning me on.
老天 我现在看见啥都想上
I just walked in on an elderly lady in the bathroom
我刚看见洗手间里有一位老太太
and almost lost my mind.
我差点没控制住
What were you doing in the ladies' room?
你去女厕所干嘛
All right, fine, it was a man.
好啦 其实那是个老头
Yeah, we all have problems.
得了 每个人都有自己的烦恼
I have sexter's block.
我有性♥爱短信创作瓶颈
Want me to take a stab at it?
要我帮你试[湿]一下吗
See, that's already better than anything I have.
瞧 随便一句都能秒杀我
Just write it down.
写下来就行
I don't want your fingerprints on my phone.
我可不想我的手机沾上你的指纹
You think I still have fingerprints?
你觉得我还没弄掉手指指纹吗
Oh, my God.
天啊
Are you really gonna have sext with Oleg?
你真的要跟奥列格做♥爱了吗
I don't know why you think I'm above this.
我不知道你为什么觉得我不会
Out of the way. Earl's looking for me.
让开 厄尔在到处找我
And as soon as he realizes he's outside,
一旦他反应过来自己在外面
I'm in big trouble.
我就有大♥麻烦了
Can you unfollow a person in real life?
人能取关现实生活中的人吗
Where would he least expect me to hide this?
我该把这凳子藏哪里 他会完全猜不到呢
Up high?
高处吗
Shorty wouldn't go high," Earl would say.
"小短腿爬不高" 厄尔肯定会这么说"
Oh, won't I, Earl?
那可不一定哦 厄尔
Han, you're talking to yourself.
阿憨 你在自言自语
And why don't you just buy another stool?
你干嘛不直接再买一把就好啦
Earl wants this one.
厄尔要的是这把
And for once in his life, he's not gonna get what he wants!
这一次 他绝不能如愿以偿
I'll just keep it under here till he forgets about it.
我把凳子藏下面 等他忘了这事就好了
Which should be in about an hour.
大概一个小时后就能忘得差不多
Yesterday I caught him putting pennies on his sandwich.
昨天我看见他往自己三明治上放硬币
Hide and seek, old timer.
来玩我藏你找啊 老家伙
I don't know how it's possible,
我不知道他怎么有办法
but he's getting weirder.
不断超越怪的极限
Those wrestlers won't be back tonight, right, Max?
那些掰腕子的人今晚不会来了吧 麦克斯
Right, God? Are you there, God?
对不对 上帝 您在吗 上帝
It's me, Caroline, the one you forgot about?
我是卡洛琳 一名被您遗忘的女子
Where'd that turd hide my stool?
那个龟孙把老子的凳子藏哪儿了
Thanks, y'all.
谢谢各位
I knew Shorty wouldn't go high.
我就知道小短腿爬不高
Oleg, how you doing over there?
奥列格 写得怎么样了
You're gonna need a bigger data plan.
你需要一份更大流♥量的手机套餐
Max, it's been two nights in a row.
麦克斯 已经连续两晚了
If we don't nip this in the bud,
如果我们不防微杜渐
we're both gonna be lady arm wrestlers' girlfriends.
就会沦落为掰腕子大力女的小女友了
You're not exactly thriving
就算你不是
not being a lady arm wrestler's girlfriend.
掰腕子大力女的小女友 情况也没多好啊
And I don't see what the problem is.
我不懂这有什么问题
They're paying customers.
她们都是来消费的顾客
They're drinking beer.
她们有在喝啤酒啊
From a helmet they brought with them.
啤酒头盔里的酒是她们自带的
Oh, no, no, no, no.
不不不
Don't go, don't go. Please, please, sir.
别走啊 请留步 先生
Well, the last of our vibe is leaving.
我们酒吧仅存的安慰走了
Pretty sure all these ladies have vibes.
我敢说那些女人都有自♥慰棒
Guessing vintage plugins.
我猜是老式得插电的那种
That's it.
真是够了
Everybody!
各位
Everybody!
各位
You cannot have your arm wrestling meetings here anymore.
你们不能再来这里玩掰腕子游戏了
Find a dock or a junkyard
找个码头 废车场
or a Buffalo Wild Wings.
或找间体育酒吧
Who wants to drink where they work?
谁想在上班的地方喝酒啊
Yeah. Yeah.
就是 没错
This is discrimination.
你这是赤♥裸♥裸的歧视
Yeah! Yeah.
就是 没错
Look, miss, I am extremely prolesbian.
女士 我可以超级支持女同性恋的哟
Please be lesbians.
请告诉我你们是拉拉
We're not lesbians.
我们不是拉拉
Ooh, swing and a miss.
哎哟哟 挥棒落空
Actually, I am.
其实我是
That's the first time I've said that out loud, isn't it?
这是我第一次大声说出来 对吧
Wow, that's freeing.
如释重负
I am just antiarm wrestling in my dessert bar.
我只是反对在我的甜品酒吧掰腕子
Well, tough tatas.
好硬气的小咪♥咪
Which happens to be my other nickname.
我另一个绰号正好叫硬咪♥咪
Go ahead, take a shot.
来啊 试一下
I'll pass.
算了吧
Hold on, um,
等等
is that an open offer on the, uh, tata punch?
是不是谁都可以打咪♥咪拳
Will you at least order some drinks?
你们至少能点几杯喝的吗
Okay, we'll order
好吧 我们点
waters.
杯水
Tap.
免♥费自来水哦
You guys, please, this is my dream.
各位 拜托 这是我的梦想
And my dream doesn't have sodastained sweatpants in it.
我的梦想里没有汽水污渍的运动裤
It's jelly, but whatever.
那污渍来自果冻 不过随便啦
I'm a reasonable woman.
我是一个讲理的女人
Yes, that is true.
没错 她说得对
She's more reasonable than the Big Reba at the train station.
她比火车站的大瑞芭讲理多了
Fine, we'll leave.
没问题 我们可以走
If one of you can beat me arm wrestling.
前提是你们俩有一个能在掰腕子中赢我们
But if neither of you can,
但如果你们俩都不能
my squad and I stay.
那我和我的人就不走了
Getting real 's movie up in here.
上世纪年代帮派老片的即视感
Huh? Who's it gonna be?
如何 谁上啊
It has to be you, Max.
肯定是你啊 麦克斯
I'm weak, fragile, beautiful,
我弱不禁风 楚楚动人 闭月羞花
but approachable.
同时还平易近人
Ready to get taught a lesson there, Jugsy?
准备好让姐姐给你上一课了吗 奶妹
School's in session, Reebs.
给你上一课的时间到了 小芭芭
But call me Max.
但还是叫我麦克斯吧
Jugsy is my mother's name.
奶妹是我妈的名字
Do it, Max.
加油 麦克斯
She is gonna take you down
她会把你打趴下
to downtown...
下到十八层地狱
In a car,
开着小车下去
made of...
而那辆车名叫
pain.
痛苦
Maybe just watch.
乖乖观战少废话
On my count. One, two, three, wrestle!
听我数到三 一 二 三 开掰
Wrist can't hold! Nothing in the tank!
手腕撑不住了 精力全用完了
All the sexting! 性♥爱短信把我掏空了
Fight, Max! Put your back into it!
上啊 麦克斯 挺起腰杆再拼一把
My back's shot too.
我的腰杆也不行了啊
Haven't you seen my front?
没看到我胸口的两大负重袋吗
We're staying, girls!
姐们不走了
Max, what are we gonna do?
麦克斯 我们该怎么办
I think it's pretty clear.
下一步显而易见
You're gonna have to arm wrestle Big Reba.
你得跟大瑞芭掰腕子
Can't I just marry her?
我不能直接嫁给她吗
Come on now, Caroline, you got this.
加油 卡洛琳 你能行的
You've been wrestling with disappointment for years.
这么多年来你一直跟失望抗争
And I'm losing.
而我节节败退
On my count.
听我数到三
One, two, three,
一 二 三
wrestle!
开掰
Ya'll seen the stool?
你们看见我的凳子了吗
Han hid it again.
阿憨又藏起来了
What in the sweet name of Jesus is going on in here?
我的乖乖 你们到底在干什么
Earl, I'm trying to motivate Caroline.
厄尔 我在努力激励卡洛琳
Do you remember any of the lines from Rocky?
你记得《洛奇》里面的任何一句台词吗
著名拳王争霸的电影
I'm gonna tell you what I tell three tourists a day.
我用我一天跟游客说三次的那句话回答你
I am not Carl Weathers.
我不是卡尔·韦瑟斯
美国黑人男演员 曾出演了《洛奇》系列电影
Max, I'm losing it!
麦克斯 我要输了
Help that poor girl. Uh, Caroline,
快帮帮那可怜的姑娘 卡洛琳
look at all these arm wrestling ladies
瞧瞧这些掰腕子大力女
in your dream dessert bar!
在你梦想的甜品酒吧里
You were aiming for five years of class,
五年来你一直梦想重回上流社会
you didn't even get an hour!
但你连一个小时都不曾拥有
Hey, I can't get the carriage in the dessert bar!
我的婴儿推车进不去你们的甜品酒吧
The only place it would fit was the car wash.
唯一能推进去的地方就是洗车处
Hey, what is all this?
这是怎么回事
Caroline is trying win our bar back,
卡洛琳在奋力赢回我们的酒吧
and I'm trying to inspire her
而我在努力激励她
by pointing out how bad her life is.
方式就是指出她的人生有多惨
And I didn't get a text?
居然没人发短信通知我吗
Max, help!
麦克斯 帮帮忙
Uh... you haven't had sex in a year!
你都一年没做过爱了
And I think you know I'm being quite generous there.
我想你应该懂 我说一年已经很厚道了
It's working. She's lonely.
奏效了 她空虚寂寞冷
You chased a dollar onto the third rail of the subway,
你为了捡一块钱追到了地铁的铁轨上
and you didn't get it!
最后还没有捡到
You work as a waitress in a diner!
你在一家餐厅当服务员
Did you mention the waitress thing?
你有没有提服务员的事
Yes, I just did, Earl.
我刚提了 厄尔
Sorry, things are getting to me a little late.
抱歉 我脑子反应有点缓慢
Wait, did... did you tell her that baby Barbara
等等 你有告诉她我宝宝芭芭拉
is gonna get married before she is?
会比她还早结婚吗
Caroline,
卡洛琳
six years ago,
六年前
you had a billion dollars,
你家财万贯
and now... I'm gonna say it...
而现在 这话我一定要说
Say it!
说啊
Old Navy is out of your price range!
班尼路你都买不起
I haven't heard from Randy.
兰迪一直没回我短信
Oleg's graphic sexts must've freaked him out.
奥列格的图文性♥爱短信肯定把他吓着了
Even Siri covered her eyes after that last one I sent.
我发最后一条的时候连Siri都把眼睛挡上了
You ask Michelangelo to paint,
你让米开朗基罗作画
and then you criticize the painting.
画完之后你又嫌东嫌西
Why are you bringing the Ninja Turtles into this?
你干嘛把忍者神龟扯进来
忍者神龟中 其中一龟就以文艺复兴大艺术家米开朗基罗的名字为名
I just want to know what to do now.
我只是想知道现在该怎么办
I completely understand if you don't
我完全理解你不会想听
want to take love advice from an arm wrestling champion,
来自掰腕子冠军的爱情建议
but why don't you just say "Hi" Or "I miss you"?
但何不简单地问声好或说"我想你"呢
Hi, I miss you"?
"你好 我想你""
No "in my pants"?
前面不加上"我裤裆里"吗
Okay, fine. I'll give it a shot.
好吧 那我试试
Hey everyb...
大家安...
Damn it.
靠
Do you need a hand there, Sophie?
你需要帮忙吗 苏菲
No, I got it!
不必 我能行
You really don't.
很明显你不行
Earl, you can have the stool.
厄尔 凳子给你吧
I've had a really hard year,
我今年过得很不顺
and I allowed myself this one indulgence.
我允许自己就放纵这么一次
But, if it's important...
但如果真这么重要...
Sweet, I'll take it.
好 那我就收下啦
Oof! Cold as ice.
冷酷无情
I didn't come here to make friends.
我又不是来这交朋友的
No stool for you.
凳子不给你了
Hey... hey, why don't we settle this
二位 我们何不用
the s movie way and arm muscle for it?
年代老片的方式 用臂力一决胜负
At my age, only thing I can beat is a little girl.
以我现在的年纪 唯一能欺负的就只有小女孩了
So, yeah.
所以没问题
Bring it on.
开战吧
This little girl's tougher than she looks.
这位小女孩 可比外表看起来强壮多了
You won't be able to sit on that damn thing
等我冲你的屁♥股一顿暴打后
after the ass whooping I'm about to lay on you, Shorty.
那把破凳子你想坐都坐不了 小短腿
Shorty's ass can take a lot, old man!
小短腿的屁♥股承受力可强了呢 老家伙
We don't want to hear about your personal life, Han.
阿憨 你的性事我们不想知道
One, two, three, wrestle!
一 二 三 开掰
Have they started yet?
他们开始了吗
When this is over,
等完事后
I'm gonna be wiped out.
我肯定会精疲力尽
You gonna help me carry my stool back up there?
你会帮我把凳子抬过去吗
Here's an idea.
我有个主意
Yeah, you say it, Han!
快说啊 阿憨
Burn in hell!
下地狱吧
Remember when I used to make you moan like that?
还记得以前我也让你这么呻♥吟吗
You really turn me on.
你真是让我欲♥火焚身
Barbara, you stay with your daddy.
芭芭拉 你跟爸比待着
He's a very sexy man.
他是一个超级性感的男人
Randy texted me back "I miss you."
兰迪回我短信了 说"我想你"
Aw, that's so sweet.
真有爱
Oh! In his pants!
是他的裤裆里在想我
Damn, Han,
靠 阿憨
I didn't realize bad breath was your secret weapon.
我没想到口臭是你的秘密武器
Stool me, Shorty.
一翻两"凳"眼 小短腿
Who am I wrestling for the hemorrhoid doughnut?
我跟谁掰腕子才能抢甜甜圈形痔疮垫呀