姐妹俩遇贵人摆脱困境

Previously on " Broke Girls"...
《打工姐妹花》前情提要
I am choosing to take this disaster as a sign,
我选择将这场灾难当做一个启示
and while they're rebuilding this place
在他们重建这里的时候
I'm gonna go surprise Randy and try to rebuild us!
我要去给兰迪惊喜 重建我们感情
Fine, use my car,
行吧 开我的车去
but I'm going to be driving it. I'm coming with you.
但必须是我来驾驶 我要跟你去
I finally got the gas pedal extension where I like it.
我好不容易才把短腿油门辅助器调到位
I'll just call AAA.
我在这等保险公司来拖车就行
Cool. Later, hater.
那太好啦 再见 拜拜
Wait, you're really leaving?
等等 你们真的一走了之啊
Who leaves someone on the side of the road
什么人会把别人就这么丢在
in the middle of nowhere?
荒郊野岭的路边啊
My friend, Sloppy Joe, has a oneengine plane.
但是我的朋友邋遢乔有一台单引擎飞机
He might be able to fly y'all all the way to LA.
他或许有办法载你们飞去洛杉矶
Well, that's a wrap on the first day of filming
我们在奥斯丁 德克萨斯州拍摄的第一天
here in Austin, Texas.
就到此结束啦
So Randy's not in Los Angeles?
等等 所以兰迪不在洛杉矶吗
He's in Texas?
他是在德州
Wow, you're a bad stalker, Max.
麦克斯 你真是个蹩脚的跟踪狂
There's two things the Slop won't do.
我邋遢平生有两件事不做
Alert the proper authorities of my flight pattern
告知相关单位我的飞行模式
or step foot in Texas.
以及踏进德克萨斯州
I'll drop you here.
我在这里放你们下
When I agreed to follow you crosscountry
我答应跟你横越全国
to chase your exboyfriend,
去千里寻男友时
I didn't realize I'd be thrown out of a plane,
我没想到我会被扔下飞机
scavenging for my belongings
像拾荒般到处捡我的东西
and fighting a snake for my favorite pants.
还得跟一条蛇抢我最爱的裤子
You can have them, sir!
您留着吧 蛇先生
Ah! Found my toothbrush.
找到我的牙刷啦
Max, that's disgusting.
麦克斯 太恶心了吧
Oh, you're right. This isn't mine.
好像是有点恶心 这不是我的
Ah, found a purse...
找到个包包
Under this syringe.
上面有根针筒
Anything in there?
针筒里有东西吗
Nah, pretty tapped out, which is too bad
基本都空了 真是太倒霉了
cause you could use a twoday heroin nap.
还有剩就能睡一场两天长的海♥洛♥因觉了'
I meant my bag.
我是说我包里
Look what else survived!
你看还有什么幸免于难
My Popchips!
我的薯片
Only to meet an unfortunate end.
它在劫难逃的是我的肚子
Oh, no, Max, my wallet.
惨了 麦克斯 我的钱包
Mm, yeah, I know.
是啊 是很惨
You've aged a lot since that license picture.
你比驾照那张照片 老了不是一点半点
No, it's gone.
是钱包丢了
All of our cash and our credit cards were in there.
我们所有的现金跟信用卡都在里面呢
What are we gonna do? I'm freaking out.
我们该怎么办 我要抓狂了
Nah, nah, nah, calm down.
别别别 先冷静
Caroline will get us out of this.
卡洛琳会想办法救我们的
Oh, wait. You're Caroline.
等等 你就是卡洛琳
I'm calling the diner for help.
我要打给餐厅求救了
Han... We... have..
阿憨... 我... 有...
Caroline, we don't have a good connection,
卡洛琳 我们信号[关系]不好
and not just because we're dueling Scorpios.
不单是因为我们俩天蝎座相冲
Peekaboo!
躲猫猫
I see you!
我看到你啦
Oleg.
奥列格
All right, now do it with Barbara.
好啦 现在跟芭芭拉这么玩吧
Han, we had all of our belongings
阿憨 我们所有的私人物品
thrown out of a private plane.
全被从私人飞机上扔下去了
Caroline, you're cutting out.
卡洛琳 你的信号断断续续
All I heard was "private plane" brag much?
我只听见"私人飞机" 你个臭显摆
No, we need to get to Texas,
不是 我们需要去到德州
so can you please put $ in my PayPal account?
你能往我支付宝里打五百块吗
What? You have $?
什么 你有五百块吗
Did I call you to gloat when I bought this snazzy new vest?
我买这件酷炫背心时 有打给你炫耀吗
I'm putting you on speaker.
我要开免提
Private plane...
私人飞机...
Have...credit card...
有... 信用卡
We lost her.
断线了
Or maybe her butler snatched her phone from her.
或者是她的管家把她电话抢走了
He hung up.
他挂电话了
Max, can we just go back to that terrible place we call home?
麦克斯 我们能回去我们称为家的那地狱吗
That mountain lion is wearing my new blouse.
那只美洲狮在穿我的新衣服了
And here she comes!
她追来啦
Keep the tags on if you wanna return it.
你想退钱的话 记得留着吊牌
I'm calling the credit card company
我要打给信用卡公司
to send us new cards.
让他们给我们寄新卡
They're used to hearing me cry.
他们已经习惯听我哭了
So is the unfortunate family
我们看《疯狂动物城》时
that sat behind us at "Zootopia."
坐后面的一家人也听习惯了
If animals can all get along, so can we.
连动物间都能当好朋友 我们也行
Look, once we get our cards,
等我们拿到新卡
we'll be on our way to Randy in Texas
我们就能继续上路去德州找兰迪
and what was in this for me again?
这整件事对我有啥好处来着呢
neardeath experiences?
.次濒死经验吗 /
Hi, Visa. It's me, Caroline.
信用卡公司 是我 卡洛琳
My cards were stolen.
我的卡被偷了
I've seen backs of vans
我在一些面包车的后车厢
with better candy selections.
看过的糖果种类都比你店里好
This is a disgrace to the name Gas and Gobble.
你们真是丢了"有油又有吃"这店名
How do you even wake up in the morning?
你每天哪来的动力起床啊
My alligator licks my face.
被我的鳄鱼舔脸舔醒的
Oh, my God, Max.
天啊 麦克斯
Whoever stole our credit cards maxed them out.
偷我们卡的人 把我们卡刷爆了
They spent the $, we had left.
把我们所剩的花完了
No way.
不是吧
Someone just spent $, on phone cards and cigarettes.
刚刚才有人花了块买手机卡跟香烟
His name was Caroline Channing.
他的名字叫卡洛琳·钱宁
What?
什么
That's my name!
那是我的名字
Ah, you got a dude's name.
你有个男人的名字啊
Ugh, we were robbed. Police!
我们被抢了 警察叔叔
Where! Where!
哪里 哪里
Max, I am tired and I'm hungry
麦克斯 我又累又饿
and I can't find a mirror,
而且找不到个镜子
but I am sensing a disturbance in my hair.
但我感觉到头发部位有"乱流"
We have to go home!
我们得回家了
But we have to go to Texas.
但我们必须去德州啊
Randy needs me.
兰迪需要我
He's saying it on his Snapchat story.
他在快拍上说了
Still on the movie set.
还在电影片场
Pretty lonely, so if anyone would respond
挺寂寞 如果有人愿意
to my Words With Friends request,
接受我手机拼字游戏的邀请
I promise to let you win,
我答应放水让你赢
and if you're ever in Texas...
如果你来德州了
why?
何苦啊
See? He's begging me to come there.
你看 他在求我去找他
But we have no money to get to Texas.
但我们没钱去那里啊
Wrong.
错了
I've got $ in this one
我这半边里藏了块
and $ in this one.
这边藏了块
Lefty's been holding back as per usual.
左边跟平常一样留了一手
So your boob dollars
所以你的这块奶钱
are gonna get us to Texas?
能让我们去到德州吗
Don't rule out my roll of butt quarters.
还有我的菊花硬币呢
Sweaty but ready.
汗水淋淋但准备就绪
All right, can y'all folks lock up?
你们能帮忙关店吗
I got to make a riverboat
我得赶在内河船
before it takes off to New Orleans.
出发去新奥尔良之前上船
My cousin Tim put a voodoo curse on me.
我的亲戚蒂姆给我下降头了
I got to talk to him about removing it.
我得去跟他谈谈 让他帮我解掉
Caroline,
卡洛琳
New Orleans is close to Texas.
新奥尔良离德州挺近
The Hamburglar says so on my McDonald's
我的麦当劳桌垫上的汉堡神偷是这么说的
placemat,
and he would never lie
他这人从不说谎
unless it's about stealing delicious hamburgers.
除非是为了偷好吃的汉堡时才会
I'm confused. Do you want hamburgers
我有点迷糊了 你是想吃汉堡
or do you wanna take that riverboat?
还是想去搭内河船
Obviously, the dream scenario is both.
很明显 最好的情况就是两者皆是
Ah, thank you very much.
多谢
Max, people have tickets.
麦克斯 上船要票的
You have to pay to get on this
你得付钱才能上这...
what I'm positive will be my sixth neardeath experience.
我挺确定会是我第六次濒死经验
So bend over and unclench.
转身弯腰 松开菊花
We need those butt quarters.
你的菊花硬币也得用上
Who are you? My mother at a church carnival?
你是带我去参加教堂嘉年华时的我妈吗
Have your tickets ready, please.
请准备好您的船票
All we have to do is act like we belong.
我们表现得不突兀就行了
Do I at least get to have an adorable Southern accent?
那我能装出我可爱的南方口音吗
No accent.
不许装口音
Well, I do declare
我表四
that is mighty disappointing.
这真素太令人苏望啦
Just follow my lead. It's time to touch strangers.
学着点 是时候对陌生人伸魔爪啦
Hey, you got a permit for those guns?
你的双枪[二头肌]有持枪证吗
Well, I say,
我说
you got a permit for
你有许可证...
that lightup yoyo?
来携带那发光溜溜球吗
I have a girlfriend.
我有女朋友了
Keep walking, buster.
少废话 臭小鬼
Max, the riverboat doesn't get to New Orleans for two days
麦克斯 这船到新奥尔良要两天呢
and we have nowhere to sleep.
我们没地方睡啊
Ooh, but there is
但是这船上有
a "Whittle Your Own Banj" workshop at :.
"自己做斑鸠琴"课 在五点
I have whittletono interest in that.
我对这"班就"一点兴趣都没有
Ooh, it says they have the loosest slots around.
上面写这里有最好赢的老虎机[最荡的妞]
I guess the Darby sisters from my hometown are here.
看来我老家的浪货达比姐妹也在船上
I did see a bunch of lounge chairs
我看到那边的沼泽展览区
over by the swamp exhibit.
有不少躺椅
I guess we could sleep there tonight,
我猜我们今晚可以试着在那里睡
and then the next night,
至于明天晚上呢
well, hopefully we'll be dead.
好运的话 到时候我们已经死了呢
Come on, red!
来吧 红
Max, no! That's all of our money!
麦克斯 不可以 这是我们所有的钱
No more bets.
停止下注
Oh, that is so stupid,
这太蠢了
and not cute stupid like
而且不是像上次
when you thought Velcro grew in nature.
你以为尼龙搭扣是大自然产生的那种蠢萌
And red is the winner.
红色赢
Well, rootin' tootin'!
哎哟喂
I always bet on red because my last name's Black,
永远赌红色 因为我的姓是布莱克[黑]
and that's ahnot been a winner.
而我从来就不是一位赢家
Okay, now that we've doubled our money,
现在我们的钱变双倍了
maybe we should stop. Come on, red!
或许该收手了 来吧 红色
No more bets. No!
停止下注 不要啊
I didn't even get to touch it before you lost it.
你输光前我都还没来得及摸摸它们呢
Why do you hate having things?
你为什么要拒绝拥有呢
Red again.
红色连庄
Just call me Al Roker 'cause I'm making it rain.
请叫我雨神 因为要下钱雨啦
Max, we're winning at something.
麦克斯 我们居然在某事上能赢
Don't just stand there looking pretty, toots.
别光站着像个花瓶啊 小美人
Order daddy some wings.
给干爹点几个鸡翅膀
Oh, my God, I look pretty
天啊 我像个花瓶吗
and I get to flag down a waitress.
而且还能伸手叫服务员来
Waitress!
服务员
I'll have a sarsaparilla
我要来一杯沙士
and some wings for big daddy.
然后一些鸡翅膀给我的干爹
Sophie's calling.
苏菲打来了
Pfft, like I'm gonna get it.
老娘怎么可能接
Well, Caroline's not answering.
卡洛琳不接电话
Executive decision.
行政决策
Horses can eat a bunch of pudding.
马可以吃布丁
My cousin from Chernobyl had a dog this size.
我切尔诺贝利的表亲有只这大小的狗
曾发生过史上最严重的核♥电♥事♥故
He had three legs.
他有三条腿
My cousin, not the dog.
我是说我表亲 不是那条狗
Something good did come out of Chernobyl.
切尔诺贝利事件还是有好的一面嘛
Excuse me?
不好意思
How much do you charge for pictures with him?
跟他拍照要多少钱呢
Oh, it depends.
得看情况了
How nude do you want him?
你想要他裸♥露到什么程度
We mean for our kids...
我是说我们的孩子...
with the horse.
跟马拍照
I don't think the "Ew" was necessary.
不需要发出"恶"的声音吧
You don't know what you're missing.
你完全不知道你错过了什么好料
I mean, we're just walking him for our friend.
我们只是帮忙朋友遛个马
We'll give you $10 each.
一个孩子十块钱
Sold to the woman who...
中标的是这位
doesn't" wanna see me naked.
"不愿"看到我裸体的女士"
Come on,18!
来吧 18
Which is also the title of my adult film debut.
这数字也是我出道的那部成人片名
Mine would have been called,
拿我的那部估计会取
Might As Well, I'm "
"拍又何妨 都岁了""
Excuse me, Mr. Moustache?
抱歉 胡子先生
Could you stop feeling my ankle with your toes?
你能别用你的脚趾骚扰我的脚踝了吗
I guess that's a no.
看来是不愿意
Oh, 18 winner.
18号赢
We won! I'm rich!
我们赢啦 我有钱啦
Now you have no shot with me.
现在你跟老娘没戏了
Stay close, sweet cakes. You're good luck.
别走远 小宝贝 你是幸运女神
Here, buddy. Buy yourself some new sandals,
给 兄弟 给你自己买双新拖鞋
and a round of mouthwash for the table.
再请在座各位来杯漱口水
All right, place your bets.
好啦 请下注
I placed mine on a liberal arts degree.
我当年下注到了人文科学学位
That's why I'm here.
所以才沦落至此
Let it ride.
上啊
Max, maybe we should quit while we're ahead
麦克斯 或许我们该见好就收
since we've never been before.
毕竟咱们从来没"好"过
Aren't you worried that we might...
难道你就不担心我们会...
again!
号连庄
Keep winning and never die!
赢个不停 死都死不了吗
Let's go with four.
这次下吧
The number of men who have flashed me
是打从我上了这艘船
since I've been on this riverboat.
暴露狂露鸟给我看的次数
Lucky four!
幸运号
No more bets.
下好离手
Who's driving this thing?
谁开的船啊
Gary Busey?
加里·布希吗
美国男演员 曾发生过酒驾撞人事♥故
Oh, four. No winners.
号 没有赢家
Yes, winners. We had four,
有赢家啊 我们下的号
but then the boat moved our chips.
但船刚才害我们的筹码移动了
Yeah, and it also spilled my soda.
还害我的汽水撒了呢
So like I said: No winners.
就像我所说的 没有赢家
Sure, we lost all our money,
好吧 我们输光了所有钱
but at least you got to see some dongs.
可至少你看了好几个人的鸟啊
Hey, Sophie, it's me Carah!
苏菲 是我卡...
I fall for her...
我每次都被她
Hello, this is Sophi"
"安安 我是苏菲""
outgoing message every time.
那条电话录音给骗了
We need them to send that money.
我们得让他们赶紧转钱过来
Oh, thank God. Hi, Sophie, it's
谢天谢地 苏菲 我是...
What's going on here?
这是什么情况
Are you selling pony rides with Chestnut?
你们是在出卖栗宝的肉体让人骑吗
Yes, but you got to wait in line with the other kids.
是的 但你也得跟其他孩子一样排队
No, you don't, buddy.
不 你不用 伙计
Up you go, champ.
我抱你上马吧
Get your hands off me!
放我下来
I don't want my picture taken!
人家不想拍照
Right now.
暂时不想
The girls asked me to make sure you're feeding him,
姑娘们让我确保栗宝不会饿肚子
and here you are pimping him out like...
而你们却当起了皮条客 让他出来卖就像...
this isn't my wheelhouse.
这不是我的专业范畴
Famous pimps, anyone?
有人认识著名的皮条客吗
What?
什么
How dare they not trust us.
她们俩居然敢不相信我们
This stops now!
这事就此打住
Unless your boy, Han,
除非你的小兄弟阿憨
gets a little taste of the horseplay.
能在这场"马戏"中拿到一点甜头
Here.
拿去
What's going on here?
这是什么情况
Nothing.
没情况
I know a shady deal when I see one.
我一眼就能看出见不得人的勾当
I was one of the loudest voices
我可是当时对路易斯安娜购地案反对声最大的人之一啊
against the Louisiana Purchase.
年美国政♥府从法国手中购买了超过万平方公里的土地
将美国的面积拓展了一倍 当时此举曾遭到许多人的反对
Earl, what are you even doing here?
厄尔 你跑来这里干什么
I thought you lived at the diner.
我以为你的活动范围仅限餐厅呢
Well, thank God the girls asked me to check on Han
还好姑娘们让阿憨监督你们的同时
checking on you too
让我监督阿憨
cause now this black male
因为现在这位黑人老兄'
is about to blackmail you.
准备黑心地敲诈你们了
Okay, Earl's in too.
好吧 厄尔也分一份
At a lesser percentage because odds are
但他的分成少点 因为可能等下
he'll forget about all of this momentarily.
他就会忘掉这里发生的一切
Excuse me, manager.
麻烦过来一下 经理
We've been wronged,
我们受到不公正的对待
and not just generally by life.
不仅仅是我们的日常生活
I don't know who to complain to about that.
我都不知道那该跟谁投诉了
Is there a problem over here?
请问有什么问题吗
I'm the pit boss.
我是赌场经理
I also do the mentalist show
也是总统刺客舞厅
in the John Wilkes Booth Ballroom.
心灵感应秀的主持人
Still lots of tickets available.
演出还有很多票哦
Yes, there's a problem here.
是的 的确出了点问题
We just got cheated out of our winnings,
我们赌桌上赢来的钱都被骗走了
and I was already cheated out of much of my s,
我多岁的人生中已经被夺走很多东西了
but again, probably not your department.
但那可能不在你的管辖范围
Why don't I send a complimentary bottle of champagne
不如我免♥费赠送你们一瓶香槟作为赔礼
to your room?
送到你们房间可好
And by "champagne" I mean wine,
我说的"香槟"是红酒
and by "bottle" I mean box.
"一瓶"是指一盒
Uh, you know what? We'll take it here.
不劳烦了 我们在这里喝吧
Would there happen to be a Eleven Merlot?
不会恰好是便利店的盒装垃圾红酒吧
Max, wine in our room sounds so much better.
麦克斯 在房间里喝红酒听上去惬意多了
We can relax and focus on each other for once.
我们可以放轻松 沉浸在两人世界里
Mm, great. What's the room number?
太好了 你们房间号是多少
I think she means ohsix.
她是想说号
I don't think so.
我不这么认为
That room is still an active crime scene.
那房间现在还是封锁的犯罪现场呢
Stowaways, huh?
逃票上船的吧
I'll have the Coast Guard come and pick you up.
我马上叫海岸警卫队来抓你们
They're already coming for that guy.
他们刚去抓那家伙
I didn't wanna strip my clothes off
不是我自己要扒光衣服
and try to drive the boat.
去开这艘船的
It was that voodoo curse.
我是被人下降头了
Damn you, Tim!
都怪你 蒂姆
Look, dude, if you're really a mentalist,
听着 兄弟 如果你真会心灵感应
you'll know that I need to get to Texas to see my boyfriend.
你就会知道我真的得去德州见我男朋友
I can tell that you're telling the truth.
我感应到你说的是实话
Please, there has got to be a way we can work something out.
求你了 肯定有办法能解决
We'll do anything.
我们什么都愿意做
Well, she will. I'll do over the shirt stuff.
她啥都愿意 我只做保留上衣蹭的那种
Your shirt.
蹭你的"上衣"
If you take off that hat.
前提是你把帽子脱掉
Is there anywhere in the world
这世界上有没有一个地方
where I don't have to be a waitress?
可以让我摆脱服务员这个职业
Hooters?
波霸♥餐厅
Thanks.
多谢安慰
I'm a cocktail waitress on the Mississippi River.
老娘是密西西比河上的鸡尾酒服务员
This is a worse vacation
真是超级悲催
《宿醉》系列电影男主角之一
than the one with Ed Helms in it.
比有艾德·赫尔姆斯的假期还惨
Sorry, sir.
抱歉 先生
Looking for some cell service.
想找个手机信号好的地方
Hey, why don't I sit in your lap and you can drive me around?
不如我坐你大腿 你带我四处转转如何
Two birds, one stone?
一举两得哦
I wasn't that attracted to you anyway.
老娘也没那么稀罕你好吗
I'm gonna go try to find some reception.
我要去找个有手机信号的地方
Seeing Randy miserable is the only thing
看到兰迪惨兮兮是现在唯一
that'll cheer me up right now.
能让我乐呵呵的事情
Maybe he's crying.
没准他在哭鼻子呢
One vodka for the gentleman with the neck tattoo,
一杯伏特加给脖子有纹身的男士
and two vodkas for the lady
两杯伏特加是给这位女士
who's into that sort of thing.
一看你就好他那口
Thank you.
谢谢
Your catfish tower's on its way.
你的鲶鱼沙拉塔马上就来
It takes two to carry the cocktail sauce lagoon.
各种酱料需要两个人才搬得动
Everything on doublezero.
全压
Which has to be the Yelp rating of this boat.
这艘船在点评网上的评分肯定也是这数
Excuse me?
麻烦一下
Could I get a white wine spritzer?
能给我来杯白葡萄汽酒吗
Oh, come on, Vera. We share a locker.
别这样嘛 薇拉 我们共用一个置物柜呢
Oh, doublezero.
开
Winner.
赢家
Yes, I'm a winner again!
太棒了 我又成为赢家了
Suck it, river people.
服不服 船客们
What is going on over here?
这是怎么回事
Employees are not allowed to gamble.
员工不允许参加赌博
Or, as of last week, sexually harass each other.
或性骚扰其他员工 上周刚出的条例
Thanks a lot, Craig.
你的"功劳"啊 克雷格
Poindexter in the radio room
无线电室的波因德克斯特
wouldn't let me use the satellite phone.
死都不让我用卫星电话
Also, I broke your satellite phone.
对了 我把你的卫星电话弄坏了
That is it. You're fired.
真是够了 你们被解雇了
That's the worst news I've heard
这是自"你们被录用了"后
since you said "You're hired."
我听到最"糟糕"的消息了
There's a tug coming to swap out the toilet tanks.
有艘拖船要来换厕所排泄物
I am putting you two on it.
我要把你俩扔上去
As captains?
去当船长吗
Or should I say, craptains?
或是我该说 屎长
Hey, everybody!
大家安安
I got spinning wheels for Barbara's carriage.
我给芭芭拉的婴儿车换上了旋转轮毂
Now's it's not just her attitude that's gangster.
现在匪气十足的可不止她的脾气了
Uh... can y'all keep it down, please?
拜托 你们能不能小声点
I'm trying to set up my new wireless headphones.
我在试着弄我的新无线耳机呢
Gonna make my WalkMan sound amazing.
我要让我的随身听音质变牛逼
This is ridiculous.
真是太荒谬了
I'm trying to keep things on the downlow,
我一直试图保持低调
and you three went on the biggest shopping spree
而你们仨却跑去大肆挥霍疯狂购物
since Ellen at a Men's Wearhouse sale.
就像主持人艾伦去男装连锁店一样
知名女同性恋主持人 穿衣风格较偏中性
Oh, wait a minute.
等等
Wait a minute.
等等
Han, why are you taller than the counter?
阿憨 你怎么会比柜台还高
Just been eating right and getting enough sleep.
因为我饮食恰当 睡眠充足
Yeah, something's weird.
是啊 有古怪
You're almost the height of an adult penguin.
你跟一只成年企鹅差不多高
Fine! I treated myself to lifts.
好啦 我给自己买了内增高
I was sick of being nose to butt with everyone on the subway.
我受够在地铁上鼻子贴别人屁♥股的窘境
Check out Caroline's Instagram.
快看卡洛琳的图片分享网
Looks like they're in more trouble than I was
貌似她们这次真的有大♥麻烦
the last time I tried to put on overalls.
比我上次想穿上工装裤还麻烦
Ooh, they're on a tugboat filled with toilets,
她们在一艘都是移动式厕所的拖船上
and she writes, "Help.
她写道"救我
Please send money."
拜托快转钱"
So...
我该...
quick unfollow?
快速取消关注吗
Or sleep on it and powwow in the morning?
或者考虑一晚 明天一早帮她们祈祷
No. We have to help them.
不 我们必须救她们
I lost the cord to these headphones anyway.
反正我耳机的线也弄丢了
Oh, still got toilet boat legs.
还在晕厕所船呢
Ugh, this place reeks of bait.
这地方散发着一股恶臭
Oh, no, wait. That was me. My mouth was open.
不 等等 是我自己 我嘴巴张着呢
More importantly,
更重要的是
I finally have enough bars on my phone
我手机终于有信号了
to stalk Randy on Snapchat.
可以上网追踪兰迪了
Oh, great! All of our problems are solved,
真棒 我们所有问题都解决了
except for food, money, and a place to sleep.
除了没食物没钱 连睡觉的地方都没有之外
So negative.
好负能量哦
Have you not seen the sneezeguardless
你难道没看见这无人看守的
bait shop salad bar?
鱼饵店沙拉吧吗
Speaking of pathetic,
说到可悲
let me just check in on poor Randy.
让我先看看我们家可怜的兰迪
Just another lonely night here in Texas...
又是一个在德州的孤独夜
with all my new best friends!
跟我的一帮新朋友共度
Hey! I was up next for Twister!
扭扭乐该轮到我了 不许插队
Classic Jake.
杰克真贱
I'm sure he's just putting on a happy face.
我确定他只是强颜欢笑
That's obviously the only way to handle Jake.
不然哪里忍受得了杰克这种人
Deep down, I can tell he's genuinely upset.
我能看出他内心深处其实真的很难过
I'm just genuinely happy right now.
我现在真的很开心
Ugh, this salad bar stinks.
这沙拉吧臭死了
No, wait. That's me again.
不 等等 还是我自己的味道
Oh, my God, Max!
天啊 麦克斯
The diner people put money in our PayPal account!
餐厅的人把钱转到我们的支付宝账户了
They say it's from Chestnut,
他们说是栗宝给的
but he's not allowed on the Internet when we're not home.
但我们不在家 他是不准上网的啊
I can't believe it.
真是难以置信
Me neither.
我也是
The diner people are all we have in this world.
在这世界上 我们穷得只剩餐厅这帮人
And I used to have a closet just for scarves.
想当初我富的时候 有个专门放丝巾的衣橱呢
No! That Randy's happy without me.
不 是没有我兰迪照样开心
What am I doing?
我这是干什么
I'm dragging you all over the country
我拖着你跑遍整个国家
after some guy who isn't even interested in me anymore.
就为了某个对我不再感兴趣的家伙
This is my worst idea since I told DeNiro to stick to comedy.
这是我告诉德尼罗坚持演喜剧后最糟糕的主意
罗伯特·德尼罗 好莱坞著名实力派老男星 后来演出的喜剧褒贬不一
So, what are you saying?
你想说什么
I'm saying this is a mistake.
我想说 这是一个错误
Let's just go home like you said
我们还是按你之前
after that hyena knocked you to the ground
被土狼撞倒在地试图侵犯你时
and tried to hump you.
所说的那样 回家吧
Can I get $12 on number four?
四号餐你能12块卖给我吗
And on which aisle can I find tucking tape?
哪条通道有卖能黏鸡鸡的胶带
Okay, I will just have these Slim Jims and a HoHo.
好吧 那我就买点牛肉♥棒和巧克力蛋糕吧
It's not like I have to fit into couture today.
反正我今天也不用把自己硬塞进时装里
Stop hitting me. Stop hitting me!
不许打我 不许打我
Girls, stop fighting.
姑娘们 别打了
I hate to see women fighting each other.
我讨厌看见女人打架
Well, unless, of course, it's Hoda and Kathie Lee
当然 除非是霍达和凯西·李
美国NBC电视台《今日秀》脱口秀的两位女主持人
over the last glass of chardonnay.
为了最后一杯白葡萄酒大打出手
That's RuPaul!
是鲁保罗
From RuPaul's Drag Race!
《鲁保罗变装皇后秀》的那个
We love your show. We used to watch it
我们超爱看你的秀 我们之前都
through our neighbor Jeff's window.
从我们邻居杰夫的窗户看
But then he met Dean,
但他后来跟迪恩好上了
and now all they do is cook naked.
现在他们俩整天不♥穿衣服做饭
So we just watch that now.
所以我们现在就看裸男秀了
Oh, you poor babies.
你们俩小可怜
So, why the cat fight?
你们俩为什么打架
Did she steal your size stilettos?
她是不是偷了你码的高跟鞋
Cause I would cut a bitch for that.
要是我肯定会揍死那个贱♥人'
We were actually on our way to Texas
我们其实是在去德州的路上
to see if she and her ex could patch things up.
看看她和她前男友能不能重修旧好
No, we're not going to Texas.
不 我们不去德州了
We're going back home.
我们要回家
Sometimes you got to admit defeat...
有时你得承认自己的失败...
and that there is a very live junebug in this macaroni
以及这通心粉沙拉里有一只鲜活的小甲虫
salad.
Oh, no, honey. I do not like the sound of defeat.
不 亲爱的 我不喜欢失败的声音
You want to know where I'd be if I'd given up on my dreams?
你们想知道如果我放弃梦想 我会在哪里吗
Living right down the road
住在马路的尽头
managing a Dress Barn,
开一家女性服饰店
OKdriving miles in a ball gown to sing karaoke.
穿着舞会礼服 开公里远去唱卡拉
I would not be the supermodel of the world
我不会成为世界超模
that I am today,
也就是今日的我
okay?
好咩
Hello.
懂没
Hey, listen. I'm driving to Texas
其实 我正好开车去德州
if y'all want a ride.
你们想搭顺风车吗
Well, shall we sashay away?
那我们一起华丽丽离开吧
引用鲁保罗在节目中的名言
You know that's copyrighted.
你知道这话是有版权的
Say it again, and you owe me $,.
再说的话 我可要收你万的版权费哦
Shotgun!
我坐前排
I'm sitting next to RuPaul!
我要坐鲁保罗旁边
No. I'm sitting next to RuPaul.
不 我要坐鲁保罗旁边
I'm sitting next to RuPaul. I am...
我要坐鲁保罗旁边 我要...