卡罗琳约会麦克斯独挡一面

Girls, prepare to be more obsolete than you already are.
姑娘们 准备好变得比你们现在更落伍吧
Which will be hard.
虽然这难度超级大
You're one step above newspapers.
毕竟你们也就比报纸强一点点
Behold, the future!
睁大狗眼看好未来啦
Oh, no. I'm still here in the future?
不是吧 未来的我还困在这里吗
Or, Han, your sister's here.
阿憨 你的妹妹来了
Hello, hola, konichiwa.
你好 你好[西语] 你好[日语]
I guess now's a good time to admit
我想现在是个坦白的好时机
that I ate a bunch of shrooms and I'm seeing
我吃了一堆致幻蘑菇 我现在能看见
a robot in a bowtie.
一个别着领结的机器人
This is a room service robot that delivers food.
这是个可以送餐的客房服务机器人
My aunt's Holiday Inn went bellyup.
我阿姨的假日酒店倒闭了
I got this and one night stand.
我拿到了这个跟床头柜[一♥夜♥情]
That's the only one night stand you're ever gonna get.
这会是你这辈子唯一拥有的一♥夜♥情吧
Must be a different kind of room service
跟我在别家酒店的客房服务不一样啊
than they have at Tuggington's Hourly Motel.
在"它撸顿"钟点汽车旅馆
Where the first tug is free.
第一撸免♥费呢
R, thank God.
R机器人 太好了
形状类似《星球大战》里知名机器人RD
I thought I lost you when we blew up the Death Star.
我还以为死星爆炸把你也炸没了呢
Would you like a late check out?
您想要延迟退房吗
Sorry, toots. I checked out years ago.
抱歉 兄弟 小女子多年前已去世[退房]
List diner specials.
列出晚餐特餐
You have ordered four adult films.
您点播了四部成♥人电影
That's a lie.
你撒谎
I've only ordered three.
我只点了三部
Shut down, robot.
关闭 机器人
This is what happens when you get a robot for free!
果然免♥费没好货 机器人也不例外
R, no!
R机器人 别啊
Yoda's our friend!
尤达大师是我们的朋友啊
《星球大战》知名角色 身材矮小
Somebody help me!
谁来救救我啊
If that thing could show cleavage and steal silver wear,
如果那个机器人也会露乳♥沟跟偷银餐具
I'd be out of a job.
那我就铁定要失业啦
I can't wait for our date either, Bobby.
我也等不及我们的约会了 鲍比
Okay, I'll see you tomorrow.
好 我们明天见
You hang up first.
你先挂
No, you hang up Oh, he hung up.
不要 你先挂... 他真挂了
I'm liking this guy more and more.
我越来越喜欢这大兄弟了
I know. Isn't Bobby the cutest?
对啊 鲍比是不是超可爱
Not smoking Chinese baby cute, but not bad.
没到抽烟的亚洲小孩那么可爱 但也不赖
Max, I'm so excited.
麦克斯 我好激动啊
This is the first date I'll be going on
我上一次去浪漫约会的时候
since Julia Roberts could still open a romantic comedy.
茱莉亚·罗伯茨还能担当浪漫喜剧主演呢
这位知名女演员上一次主演浪漫喜剧是在年
I'm still pissed at them
我还在气他们
for stealing my life story for "Pretty Woman."
偷走我的人生故事去拍《风月俏佳人》
茱莉亚·罗伯茨在年主演的电影 一名妓♥女跟成
功商人相爱上的故事
Jason Alexander's character was totally me.
片子里的坏律师简直是我的翻版
For our date, he's thinking of taking me
我们的约会 他打算带我
on an afternoon picnic in the park.
去公园里来个午后野餐
The pretty one,
去漂亮的那个
where you crotch punched that mime into a pond.
有默剧演员被你揍蛋蛋后掉入水池的公园
You know the fact that Bobby's taking you on a day date
你知道鲍比带你去白天约会
is a bad sign, right?
是不好的征兆吧
It probably means he's married.
很可能是因为他结婚了
Or worse, afraid of the dark.
或更惨的 他怕黑
Actually, the day date was my idea.
其实白天约会是我的主意
You know we're not married, right?
你知道我们俩没结婚 对吧
That's not why I call you my old lady.
我叫你老婆 是指老婆婆
It's cause you write thank you notes
因为你会写给别人感谢函
and use the word jeepers.
还会用"哎哟喂"这词
Jeepers, Max!
哎哟喂 麦克斯
I just figured if I go out at night,
我是想到如果我晚上出去
you'll have to run the dessert bar alone
你就得自己一个人照看甜品酒吧
and you've never done that before.
而你还没有独立看过店
I've also never flossed my back teeth.
我也从来没有用牙线清理我后牙
And they're fine when it's not windy.
不刮大风的时候 它们也都还好好的啊
I got this.
我能搞定
Hey, girls.
姑娘们
I just thought I'd take a walk and stretch my knees.
我本来想着去散散步 伸展一下膝盖
Then I remembered I don't have any.
然后想起来 我膝盖早没啦
Earl, I'm going on a night date, like a person.
厄尔 我要像个正常人类 晚上去约会啦
Max will be running the dessert bar and that'll be fine, right?
麦克斯将会独自照看甜品酒吧 没问题的吧
Ooh, speaking of disasters, that reminds me,
说到大灾难 我就想起来
I have to return "Risky Business" to Blockbuster.
我得去百事达还一部灾难级烂片
When do they close?
百事达影带出租店什么时候关门
So I still have time.
那我还有时间去还
Hey, guys, look. It's a groundhog.
大伙快看 是土拨鼠
So it's gonna be an early spring.
看来今年春季会来得早
北美传统节日 节日当日土拨鼠能看到自己影子
[晴天]则冬季会再持续周 如果不能看到则会早春
No. He saw his shadow this year.
错了 他今年看到自己影子了
Know your facts.
长点知识再吐槽
Earl, you're supposed to be in the diner.
厄尔 你现在应该在餐厅里才对
I had to ask our shrimp supplier to cover for you.
我还得叫我们的供虾商帮你代个班
I thought your mother was our shrimp supplier.
我还以为你老妈才是我们的供虾商
Han, I'm going on a night date, like a person.
阿憨 我要像个正常人类 晚上去约会啦
Max'll be running the dessert bar and that'll be fine, right?
麦克斯将会独自照看甜品酒吧 没问题的吧
Sure, like when I had her run the diner by herself.
当然啦 就像我上次让她帮我照看餐厅一样
Which never happened because I'm not a damn fool!
这事从来没发生过 因为我又不是傻♥逼
Let's go, Earl.
咱们走 厄尔
All right, fine.
好吧 行
I left my knees there, anyway.
反正我的膝盖也留在那里了
Hey, I was, uh I was just in the neighborhood
我... 我刚好在这附近
and thought I'd hop on two subways and a Citi Bike
所以我就决定倒两班地铁再骑公共自行车
and come say hi.
来跟你打个招呼
A Citi Bike?
城市公共自行车吗
Oh, this city gal is flattered.
我这个城市女孩受宠若惊啊
Jeepers.
"哎哟喂"
Isn't he the cutest?
他是不是天下第一可爱
Oh, not dog running in his sleep cute, but I'm all right.
没有狗狗睡觉时在跑步那么可爱 但也还行啦
Bobby, I have some good news.
鲍比 我有个好消息
I don't want you to think I'm loose or fast
我不想你觉得我好上 骚货
or whatever the kids say,
或这年头孩子用的其他词
but I am available for a night date, like a person.
但我有空像个正常人类一般晚上去约会了
Hey, really? That's great.
真的吗 太好啦
I usually save my day dates for my grandma.
我通常都把我的白天约会留给我奶奶
She likes a noon dinner.
她喜欢中午吃晚饭
I like a noon No.
我喜欢中午... 你闭嘴
Since we're going out at night,
既然我们是要晚上约会
I can cancel all the romantic errands
我就可以取消本来要做的浪漫差事
we were gonna run to the bank
比如一起去银行办事啊
and my dry cleaners.
或是一起去领我♥干洗的衣服
Now I can take you to a movie.
现在我可以带你去看场电影
There's this new theater that has couches and waiter service.
有一家新的电影院有沙发跟服务员
Wow. We work in a restaurant
我们在餐厅里打工
and we don't have waiter service.
可我们餐厅都没有服务员呢
He has a bank and clean clothes?
他居然有银行账户跟干净衣服吗
Caroline, don't screw this up.
卡洛琳 可别毁了这桩好姻缘
Paging Dr. Pringle, you're needed in my stomach.
呼叫品客博士 我的肚子需要你
Okay, pop quiz on running the dessert bar.
运作甜品酒吧的小测试题
What do you do if a customer chokes?
当有顾客噎住了 你该怎么处理
Look, if I have to cut a hole in someone's throat,
相信我 有需要我给某人喉咙割开个洞时
I'll cut a hole in someone's throat.
我就会给那人喉咙割开个洞
Cutting a hole in people can't be your answer for everything.
你不能什么问题都在人家身上割个洞解决啊
Next one. What do you do if there's a fire?
下一题 如果发生火灾应该怎么办
Follow up question:
细节追问
did I or did I not start said fire?
火是我放的 还是别人放的
Either way, I'm cutting a hole in someone.
这两种情况我都会在某人身上割个洞
Okay you failed this quiz now twice.
这场测验你不及格两次了
Especially the essay portion.
尤其是作文的部分
I'm calling Bobby and canceling.
我要打给鲍比取消约会
They're home.
她们在家
He means, hey, girls.
他的意思是 你们好啊
How did you get a key to our apartment?
你们为什么会有我们公寓的钥匙
They specifically say on them,
上面明确写了
Do not copy for Oleg."
"不许给奥列格配备份""
I find that when you go in a Home Depot pantless,
我发现你不♥穿裤子进家居连锁店
they'll do anything to get you out quick.
他们会满足你一切愿望 只求送你走
We come down here on our date nights
我们在约会之夜时会来你们这里
to pretend we're two destitute girls
假装我们是俩穷鬼姑娘
who are sleeping together for warmth.
为了取暖而睡在一起
Why do you guys come here?
你们为什么要来我们家搞
Why don't you go to, like, I don't know, Olive Garden?
你们为什么不能去自助餐餐厅之类的地方搞
Yeah, this is date night.
对啊 这是约会之夜
Not find an overweight guy to film us night.
不是找个死胖子拍我们做♥爱之夜
Staying in is a tradition.
宅在家是一种传统
You know, in Poland, you really can't go outside
在波兰 我们不太能出门
because of all the wild dogs.
因为外面有野生猛犬
And if it wasn't for the wolves,
要不是因为我们养的狼
You wouldn't be able to walk anywhere.
我们真是哪也去不了
Of course, you still need your vulture stick.
当然啦 你还是得带着你的赶秃鹰棍
Speaking of vultures circling a dead body,
说到秃鹰虎视眈眈绕着死尸转
Caroline's got a date tonight.
卡洛琳今晚有约会呢
Oh, my God, Max. That's a good one.
天啊 麦克斯 你想笑死我啊
Say it again.
再说一次这笑话
No, it's not a joke.
不是 这不是笑话
I'm really going on a date.
我真的要去约会了
Stop it! Oh, my gosh, I'm gonna pee.
别说了 真要命 我得去尿尿了
I'm going to that new movie theater with couches.
我要去那个有沙发的新电影院
It's like watching at home, but there isn't a giant spring
简直就像在自己家里 除了沙发底下
poking you in the butt.
不会有大弹簧顶着你屁♥股
Play your cards right, there will be.
你表现得好 就会有人顶
Here you go. Two Liquor Doodles.
给 两杯甜鸦酒
And speaking of licking her doodle...
说到"舔"她的"鸟"...
No.
闭嘴
What are you doing here?
你在这里干嘛
I thought I left you at the apartment.
我不是把你留在家里了吗
Which is what my abductor said
当年绑架我的人
when I ran into him at BaskinRobbins.
在冰激凌店遇到我时也这么说
Wait, did he work there or did you just want ice cream?
等等 他是在那里工作 还是你想吃冰激凌了
Because if he worked there, why would you go...
因为如果他是在那里工作 你为啥还去...
Anyway, I'm having Bobby pick me up here
反正今晚我让鲍比来店里接我
so I can keep my hand on the fire extinguisher
这样我才能一直手握灭火器
until we get to our wherever it is he's taking me.
直到我不得不跟他开始我们的约会
No. You don't trust me.
不是 你就是不相信我
You think I'm gonna mess this place up.
你觉得我会毁了我们的店
Ah, Caroline gone yet?
卡洛琳走了没
Cause I got us some highgrade pot...
因为我给咱们弄来了高档大♥麻...'
to turn into the authorities immediately.
好立刻上交给相关单位
Earl, you go AWOL more often than Mischa Barton
厄尔 你玩消失的频率比烟枪女星
on a movie set.
跑离片场抽烟还频繁
What do I have to do to keep you in that diner?
我该怎么做才能把你留在餐厅
Well a date with Halle Berry would be nice.
让我跟哈利·贝瑞约会就不错
知名黑人美♥女演员
I also wouldn't hate minimum wage.
薪水能达到法定最低工资也不错
How about a butterscotch pudding?
给你一个奶油糖布丁如何
That works, too.
这个也行
That pudding has saved me thousands over the years.
那个布丁这些年来救过我无数次
And who told him about minimum wage?
还有是谁告诉他有法定最低工资这件事
Will you just go on your date already?
你就去约你的会 可以吗
Ashley! Ashleigh!
艾希莉 阿什莉
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
天啊 天啊 天啊 天啊 天啊
Oh, my God. Sorority sisters?
天啊 姐妹会的妞
Max, you hate them.
麦克斯 你讨厌死她们了
I mean, I was a sorority sister.
我就曾经在姐妹会里待过
You look so good!
你看起来好漂漂啊
Shut up, I gained, like, two pounds.
闭嘴 我胖了足足两斤呢
Oh, you shut up. You look like you're dying.
你才闭嘴 你看起来都快瘦死了
Just relax, I'll take care of them.
放轻松 我会处理好她们
And I don't mean calling my friend Dmitri,
我说的处理不是打给我那个
who has his own dumpster.
有自己的大型垃圾桶的好友德米特里
Oh, sorority sisters, huh?
姐妹花的妞们
姐妹会
Epsilon Phis! And we haven't seen each other
我们已经没看到彼此
in, like, three days.
足足要三天了呢
Uh, that's pretty obvious.
很明显就能看出来啊
Let me get you some menus.
我去给你们拿菜单
Eh? Nobody got hurt.
你看 没人受伤
I'd feel better if your eye wasn't twitching like that.
你的眼睛不那么抽抽 我心里会好受许多
Wow, Caroline, you look beautiful.
卡洛琳 你今天美呆了
Speaking of beautiful, who built this awesome place?
说到漂亮 这么赞的店谁装修的啊
This guy. I'm going out with him tonight.
一男的 我今晚要跟他去约会
He's cute, too.
而且他超可爱呢
Okay, I know you're talking about me, but I get jealous.
够啦 我知道你是在说我 但我要吃醋了
I'm gonna tell you what I always told my mom:
我要跟你们说我当年总交代我妈的话
go out, get plastered and you don't have to wait
出去野吧 喝个大醉 而且记得事后避孕药
till the morning after to take the pill.
不用等到事后的早上才吃
That's just a name.
那只是名字而已
It's okay, I took mine on the way over.
没事的 我在来的路上吃过了
Have fun Max. Do not have fun. Bye!
玩得开心 麦克斯 不许玩得开心 再见
I can handle a few sorority girls.
老娘能搞定几个姐妹会的妞
Let me make sure I still have Dmitri's number.
先检查一下我还有没有德米特里的电话
Bunny!
邦妮
Ashley! Ashleigh!
艾希莉 阿什莉
God, they're multiplying.
天啊 她们在倍增
Oh, you look so good!
你看起来好赞啊
Oh, shut up. You shut up!
你闭嘴 你才闭嘴
You guys should really listen to each other.
你们真的应该多听听彼此说话
Couches in movie theaters?
电影院里有沙发吗
I feel like Kate Middleton right now.
我感觉自己好像凯特王妃啊
I'm glad you're easily impressed.
我很庆幸你很容易满足
For Valentine's Day, I'll take you to the Super Target cafe.
等情人节 我就带你去平价百货里的咖啡厅
Well I can't just sit on that kinda news.
这种好消息我憋不住啊
Let me just call Max and tell her.
我得立刻打给麦克斯跟她分享
Nope, straight to her outgoing fart message.
没接 直接进了她的放屁语音信箱
Bon soir, everybody. My name is Marcel,
晚上好 各位 我叫马歇尔
and I will be the curator for this evening's cinematic experience.
我将是你们今晚电影体验的监护人
The film, which Owen Gleiberman has hailed,
这部欧文·格雷伯曼都点赞的电影
欧美著名影评人
a Kubrickesque tour de force,
是库布里克式的力作
斯坦利·库布里克 美国著名导演 巅峰作品为《太空漫游》
will be screening in DCP...
将以数字高清方式放映...
Uh, yes? A question from a fellow cinephile?
怎么了 这位影迷有什么问题吗
Do I have to order the seasoned fries separate from the regular ones
点薯条时 调味炸薯条是得单独点
or can I just get them mixed?
还是可以和普通的混点
It's a dollar extra.
单点多一块
I'll be taking orders once the movie starts.
我将会在电影开始后为各位点单
Whatever.
随便吧
Hey, great question about the fries.
薯条这问题问得好
I had a follow up about free refills.
我刚还想接着问能不能免♥费续杯
Everything okay?
没事吧
I was just, um, checking this place on Yelp.
我在点评网上查这家影院
And to see if the dessert bar was on the news.
顺便看看我们的甜品酒吧有没有上新闻
Or engulfed in flames.
或是成为一片火海
You saw the dancing hot dog.
你也看见那根会跳舞的热狗啦
No cell phones.
它说不许玩手机
What are you guys doing here?
你们俩怎么会在这里
Did I cover my bed in "Dexter" tarp for nothing?
我白用《嗜血法医》式防水布铺床了吗
We're on a date.
我们在约会呢
Trying like crazy not to have sex.
疯狂憋着不爱爱之夜
Usually, when the lights go down in the movie,
通常当影院的灯暗下
so do my pants.
我的裤子会被拉下
And then, so do I.
然后我人也会蹲下
And of course we would have to see a super sexy poster
当然我们通常得在大厅看到
of Steve Buscemi in the lobby.
史蒂夫·布西密的超性感海报才有性致
美国男演员 多以配角出场 长相阴邪 跟鬣狗有几分像
Hi, I'm Bobby. Nice to meet you.
我是鲍比 很高兴认识你们
Sorry, I'm no Steve Buscemi.
抱歉 我比不上史蒂夫·布西密
I had braces in high school.
我高中时还是个牙套弟
You guys brought Barbara on your date with you?
你们俩约会还带着芭芭拉吗
Of course not. She's with the babysitter.
当然没带 她跟保姆在一起呢
We used the carriage to sneak in our dinner.
我们用婴儿车偷带晚餐进来
Hey, we're not gonna pay movie chicken prices.
拜托 我们才不会花高价吃影院的鸡
Oleg, tear me off a leg.
奥列格 给我掰个鸡腿
Good. Yeah.
很好
Was that a siren?
那是警报声吗
Oh, it's coming from the screen.
是电影里传来的声音
The movie's called "Sirens."
这部电影就叫《警报声声》
又名《相约在今生》
I know, but I thought I heard another one under it
我知道 但我觉得我听到的不止电影里的声音
that sounded like it could be heading for a dessert bar.
那个警报声听起来好像是奔着甜品酒吧去的
Are you not having a good time?
你是不是玩得不开心
Do you not like movies?
你不喜欢看电影吗
Please tell me you don't like plays.
拜托告诉我你不喜欢看戏剧
No, I'm having a great time.
不 我玩得很开心啊
And please tell me you don't consider musicals plays.
也拜托不要告诉我 你觉得音乐剧算戏剧
Hey, I don't wanna check in on Max
我不想查麦克斯岗
cause she'll think I don't trust her.
因为她会觉得我不信任她'
So can you check in on Max?
要不你们帮我查麦克斯岗
Because I really don't trust her.
因为我真的不信任她
Uh, I got chicken hands!
老娘在啃鸡腿呢
Why don't you ask your boyfriend to do it?
你干嘛不让你男朋友代劳啊
First, we haven't discussed labels yet.
首先我们还没确立关系呢
And second, I don't want him to think I'm not having fun.
其次 我不想让他觉得我玩得不开心
I'm having so much fun.
我玩得太开心了
I would go to a musical if it was important to you
如果音乐剧对你很重要 我愿意陪你去看
I'll do it.
我来问吧
Texting? Out.
发信息 出去
And don't come back until you gain some respect
在你学会尊重电影艺术前
for the art form.
不许回来
Who ordered the chili dog with the nachos on top?
谁点的辣味热狗上配玉米片
Well it probably all for the best.
或许这样对谁都好
Since you're leaving anyways,
反正你们都要走了
you can check in on Max in person.
你们可以亲自去看一下麦克斯
I guess.
行吧
Since we're about to chicken up your bed.
我们准备把你的床"搞得鸡飞狗跳"
Epsilon Phi until we die!
姐妹一辈子
Epsilon Phi until we die!
姐妹一辈子
Ah, heard you the first time. I'm working on it.
第一次就听清了 我在努力送你们到下辈子
Aw, come on, Ashley!
不是吧 艾希莉
That's something I'd expect from Ashleigh.
我还以为阿什莉才会这么怂呢
Can you do something?
能帮帮忙吗
Hey you, uh, they're trying to let a poor girl in the sorority.
喂 她们想放个穷妹子进姐妹会哦
Who? Is she ugly?
谁 长得丑吗
There you go. See?
好了 看见没
She's as annoying as she was five minutes ago.
她就跟五分钟前一样讨人厌
Now what do you people want?
你们想来点什么
Um, more shots.
再多来几杯
Also, Ashleigh threw up in Ashley's purse.
还有阿什莉吐在艾希莉的包包里了
Ah, back from the liquor store.
我从贩酒店回来了
Sorry I took so long.
抱歉我去太久了
I didn't realize I was at a Pottery Barn.
我当时不知道自己去的是家居店
Well, while I've got you confused,
趁现在你脑袋糊涂
How about you get back to work
你现在重回岗位
and bring out these drinks for me?
帮我把这些喝的端给客人如何
I am not confused.
我才没有糊涂
I realized I'm a waitress at this TGIFridays.
我知道自己是这家星期五餐厅的女服务员好吗
Congratulate us!
祝贺我们吧
We've just gone two hours without having sex.
我们有整整两小时没做♥爱了
Which breaks our old record by pretty close to two
打破了我们之前差一点点就两小时的记录
hours.
You know, Caroline asked us to check up on you
卡洛琳让我来看看你怎么样
because she was worried.
因为她担心你
We're not supposed to tell you that.
我们本来不应该告诉你的
But I had to leave a half a roasted chicken in the movie theater.
但我的半只烤鸡不得不留在电影院里了
So I am!
所以老娘偏要说
Does she have any idea what I've been through tonight
她都不知道今晚这帮姐妹会的妞
with these sorority girls?
让我遭了什么罪
For all she knows, I'm sober.
她可能还觉得我清醒着呢
Sorority girls, huh?
姐妹会的妞
I was in a sorority once.
我进过一次姐妹会
Until they found me.
一直藏到被人发现
What's going on?
为什么这么久
We've been waiting for our next round of drinks for, like, ever.
我们下一轮酒是要等一辈子吗
Wow, Max.
麦克斯
Are you really gonna let the cast of "Pitch Perfect"
你真的要让电影《完美音调》里一样的婊气妹
talk to you like that?
这么跟你说话吗
People in charge don't punch sorority girls.
当老板的不会打姐妹会的妞
People in charge don't punch sorority girls.
当老板的不会打姐妹会的妞
And can we get separate checks?
我们能分开算账吗
Or do they?
真的不会吗
Separate checks?
分开算账
Do I look like a mathologist to you?
你觉得我像是算数学家吗
Is that a problem?
有问题吗
Cause I'd hate to have to say something on Yelp.
因为我可不想在点评网上写些评论'
Yelp?
点评网
Caroline checks that more than she Googles herself.
卡洛琳查那个比上谷歌查自己还多
Uh, not a problem at all.
完全没有问题
Drinks and separate checks...
酒和分开算账
whatever that is... coming right up!
不管那是啥 马上就来
Thanks! You're the cutest.
谢谢 你最招人喜欢了
No, you are.
不 你才是
Looks like someone's in the weeds
貌似某人有大♥麻烦
and not just smoking it for a change.
而且不是吸大♥麻的那种大♥麻烦
Don't just kneel there, bring these drinks out.
别光跪着 站起来端酒给客人
I have to learn all of math in ten minutes.
我十分钟内要学会所有数学
All right, I'll stay.
好吧 我留下来帮你
But only because I want you to see how it feels
但只是因为我想让你体验风水轮流转
when the shoe is on the...
老板忙死 员工不给力...
Serve the damn drinks!
快他妈上酒
She gets it.
她知道了
How long you been working at this Fridays, sonny?
小姐妹 你在这家星期五餐厅工作多久了
Uh, is everything all right?
一切还好吗
You've been to the bathroom nine times.
你都去了九次洗手间了
Are you a drug addict?
你是毒瘾犯了吗
Candy Crush" Junkie?
还是沉迷玩糖果消消乐"
We can deal with it together.
我们可以一起想办法戒瘾
I'm sorry, Bobby, but you know how turtles can sense
抱歉 鲍比 但你知道乌龟能感应到
if their turtle best friend is stuck upside down on its shell,
它们的好朋友龟壳顶地 翻不过身来
its turtle legs all wiggling in the air?
四脚朝天在空中乱晃的无助感吗
So it is drugs.
所以是毒瘾犯了
Good. "Candy Crush" is tough.
那就好 戒糖果消消乐太难了
We went through that with my mom.
我们帮我妈戒过这个毒
It's a killer. We almost lost our house.
太困难了 我们差点把房子赔进去了
No, Max and I are the turtles.
不 我和麦克斯是乌龟
And I can feel she's trapped on her back at the dessert bar.
我能感应到她在甜品酒吧忙不过来的无助感
All right, look, I don't know Max that well.
好吧 我虽然不是很了解麦克斯
But I've gotten to know you a little bit
但我现在又多了解你一点
and you have a really good,
你的肩膀上长了一颗
really beautiful head on your shoulders.
非常好非常漂亮的脑袋
You trusted Max. You should trust your own instincts.
你相信了她才来约会 就应该继续信任直觉
You're right. I do have a nice shaped head.
你说得对 我脑袋的形状的确不错
And I'm gonna stop worrying that she might burn the bar down.
我不会再担心她可能会把酒吧烧掉了
Good. What? Seriously?
那就好 什么 真的假的
I put a ton of work into that place.
那地方可是费了我不少心血呢
You know what? This movie sucks.
要不这样 这电影也不好看
Let's get out of here and go get some dessert.
我们出去吃点甜品吧
I know a great place.
我知道一个很棒的地方
That is so sweet.
你真是太贴心了
And I was so worried you'd think I was crazy.
我之前还怕你觉得我疯了呢
Oh, you're bananas.
你就是个疯婆子[香蕉]
But I like bananas.
但我就喜欢疯婆子
Not the fruit. The texture grosses me out.
不是说那种水果 香蕉的口感让我觉得恶心
But you.
是你
I could kiss you for that.
你这句话让我想亲你
You know, you actually could.
你可以亲我啊
You're right, I can.
你说得对 我可以
Yeah, we should get out of here.
好了 我们真应该走了
Hello? It's taking longer than it took me to almost graduate.
好了没 这比我一直毕不了业花的时间还久
Just hang onto your hair extensions.
你就跟你的接发再等一会儿吧
They're obvious?
有这么明显吗
My turtle sense was right.
我的乌龟感应灵验了
Max is on her back and she's not under a boy turtle.
麦克斯四脚朝天 而且上面没有压着雄乌龟
Maybe she's all right. I don't smell fire
或许她没事呢 我没闻到糊味
and everyone's shoulders are still in their sockets.
大家也都还四肢健全 安然无恙
Why are separate checks taking so long?
为什么分开算账要算这么久啊
Can we please get our change?
麻烦找下钱好吗
Um, you put the apps on Bunny's bill, right?
你把食物那部分钱都算邦妮账上了吧
Cause she ate the most, as per ush.
因为大部分都是她吃的 向来如此'
Stop telling people I eat!
别再告诉别人我吃东西
Stop telling people my LSAT scores.
你也别再告诉别人我法学院入学考试的成绩
Stop talking! Now I have to start over.
不许讲话 现在我又得重新算过
I have a lot of numbers in my head and they're all angry.
我现在脑子里一堆数字 而且个个火冒三丈
I have to help her. Separate checks?
我得去帮她 分开算账难度太高
Max calls "Ten three."
麦克斯把叫做" "
Caroline, wait. Let her try and handle this on her own.
卡洛琳 等等 让她试试自己处理
Otherwise, we'll never be able to go on a second date.
否则我们永远没机会进行下一次约会
But she really nee...
但她真的需要...
There's gonna be a second date?
我们还有下一次约会吗
Okay, listen up, everybody!
听好了 各位
Calm down!
冷静
Here's what we're gonna do instead of separate checks:
我们用这个来代替分开算账
I'm not good at math, but I have been
我不擅长数学 但 年来
a negotiations expert for ten three years.
一直是一名出色的谈判专家
Ashley, you're gonna get $ from Bunny's PayPal account
艾希莉 邦妮会从支付宝转给你块
and she's gonna do your nails.
她还会帮你做指甲
Bunny, you're gonna Venmo Amber $
邦妮 你用微信转安布尔块
And she's gonna let you borrow her gay friend Dave
她会把基佬密友戴夫借给你
for your sister's wed.
领去参加姐姐婚礼
Everybody good?
大家都没意见吧
You've got ten three minutes to decide.
你们有 分钟做决定
We're good.
没意见
Okay, problem solved.
好了 问题解决
Max, that was amazing.
麦克斯 刚才真是太棒了
I knew you could do that on your own.
我就知道你能独当一面
No you didn't, you were spying on me.
屁咧 你一直在监视我
Her turtle sense went off.
是她的乌龟感应触发了
Is it strange that I'm a little sad that you don't need me?
你都不需要我了 我有点小难过会不会很奇怪
I didn't say I don't need you,
我没说我不需要你
but you are a little sad.
但你的确有点小悲哀[难过]
Earl, it was a pleasure waiting tables at your side.
厄尔 很高兴能跟你一起当服务员
You and I have a chemistry you can't make in a lab.
我们之间擦出的火花无法用科学诠释
You have a real strange way of talking to dudes.
你跟男人说话的方式真的很奇怪
Uh, hi.
不好意思
Did you guys know there are two naked people
你们知道里面有两个光着身子的人
eating chicken off each other in there?
在里面互啃对方身上的鸡肉吗
What? I haven't chickenproofed those sinks.
什么 那些水槽没有做防鸡层
All right, I'm closing my eyes and then I'm coming in.
好了 我闭上眼睛要进去啦
Isn't he brave?
他是不是很勇敢啊
So did he bravely go where no man has gone before?
那他有没有勇敢地闯入前人所未至的领域
Under your sweater?
也就是你的毛衣里呢
No, but we were smooching in the movie.
没有 但我们在电影院里接吻了
Shut up!
闭嘴别说了
No, you shut up. No, really,
不 你闭嘴听我说 我是说真的
shut your damn mouth, I'm exhausted.
把你的嘴闭上 老娘累死了