怀胎十月苏菲诞下女儿

Slow, easy breaths.
慢慢来 深呼吸
I am!
我有啊
I was more talking to myself.
我其实是在跟自己说啦
Don't leave me in there alone.
别丢下我一个人啊
You know I see dead people.
明知道我快死 现在都能看到鬼了
It's coming.
要来了
It's coming!
就要来了
It's here!
到了
The baby?
孩子吗
Well, a baby.
的确来了个"孩子"
Oh, good, our goober driver's here.
好了 我们的"幼"步司机到了
Aren't I suffering enough
为了从你俩手上赎回餐厅
to get the diner back from you two?
我受的苦还不够吗
I'm already driving for Lyft and Uber
我已经同时是滴滴和优步的司机
and selling Molly out of that glove compartment.
副驾杂物箱里还有兼♥职卖的摇♥头♥丸呢
Shotgun!
我要坐副驾
Han, I hate to hit the stereotype of Asian women drivers,
阿憨 我不想说亚洲女司机车技都烂
but could you speed the hell up?
但你他娘的能不能开快点
Do you want to arrive quickly
你们是想快点到达
or do you want to arrive safely?
还是想要安全到达
A teddy bear doesn't count as carpooling, lady!
放个泰迪熊你开毛多人车道啊 死婆娘
I can't have a car baby.
我孩子不能是车生儿
Three of my brothers were born in the car.
我三个兄弟都是车上出生的
On the way to the woods,
都是在去森林的路上
where they were supposed to be born.
他们本应该在森林里出生
Sophie, do you think you could move your seat up a scooch?
苏菲 你的座位能不能往前拉一点
Only because I think my leg is broken.
只因我腿已压骨折
This reminds me of a road trip I took one time
这让我想起有次公路旅行
with Earth, Wind & Fire.
我跟大地风火乐团的人一起
年成立的美国男子演唱乐团 曾前后有过名成员
The car was so cramped,
结果因为车上太挤
we had to leave Wind behind.
我们只好先放"风"下车
I feel like someone just left some wind behind in here.
我觉得车上的某人屁♥股也放了"风"
Signal much?
敢打灯吗
Sophie, smile for the camera.
苏菲 冲镜头笑一个
I don't want to miss a minute.
我不想错过任何一秒
No Golishevsky man has ever been there
我家族的男人还没有过任何一个
for the birth of his child.
是孩子出世时在身边陪着的
Why, because it's bad luck
为啥 是因为看到
to see your wife before she's born?
自己的老婆出生会带来霉运吗
You tell one story where your uncle marries his daughter,
跟人分享自己的叔叔娶了他女儿的故事
and suddenly, you're the incest guy.
突然之间 自己就被人当乱♥伦男
Uhoh.
惨了
It's happening.
真要生了
Ah, I can feel the baby's head.
我能感觉到宝宝的脑袋
It's your sandwich.
是你的潜艇堡啊
It's yours now.
送你吧
All right.
好吧
Sophie, you have to make it to the hospital.
苏菲 你得撑到医院啊
I sold my rare toeporn collection
我卖了我世面罕见的脚趾控黄♥片
to pay for a fancy birthing suite.
订了高档产房呢
I'm gonna give birth to this baby in style.
我要很有范儿地生下这孩子
I won't have to protect it from wild animals afterwards,
毕竟生完不需要担心有野生动物袭击
you know, which is nice.
这感觉太好了
Sophie, don't get too comfortable in that suite.
苏菲 别在高档产房里待舒爽了才生
You're gonna need to drop it like it's hot
一到医院就把孩子像
the second we get to the hospital.
拉开插销的手榴弹一样扔出来
Max and I have to get ready for our dessert bar opening.
我和麦克斯还得给甜品酒吧开幕做准备呢
Baby on board! Move it or lose it!
车上有婴儿 挡我者死
In their defense, it looks like no one's driving this car.
替他们辩解下 他们看不出这车是有人驾驶的
Excuse me, doctor? It's been hours.
不好意思 医生 已经小时了
Is there some way we could speed this up?
有没有什么方法能加速一下
You know, jumping jacks, Indian food,
比如让她开合跳 吃印度菜拉出来
a Csection?
或剖腹产
Does she need to be in here?
她有在场的需要吗
Yeah.
有吧
Yeah, that one
这妞
and the other one over there are the godparents.
跟那边那妞 是这孩子的干妈
Max.
麦克斯
Yeah, girl.
加油啊 老姐
They're not a couple.
她们不是一对
Oleg thinks they do it a little though.
虽然奥列格觉得她们有一点拉拉倾向
Only centimeter. I don't feel anything.
只开了一公分 还是没有出来的迹象
It could be a while.
估计还得一阵
Sophie, you may want to take off the Spanx.
苏菲 你最好把束腹裤脱了吧
I'm pregnant.
我只是怀孕
I'm not dead.
又不是死了
Oh, man, tub legs.
坐浴缸脚麻了
I'll be back.
我会再回来
But not because I want to.
不过不是因为我想回来
Oleg, come on, film the room.
奥列格 赶紧啊 拍下这产房
I want our baby to know that I was treated like a queen.
我想要孩子知道我曾有过女皇般待遇
You know, I think Elton John had this room
我记得艾尔顿·约翰生孩子的时候
知名英国同性恋男歌手
when he gave birth.
好像就是在这间生的
I'm sorry, I lost y'all.
抱歉 我刚才找不到你们
I feel asleep on a gurney and woke up in the morgue.
我在轮床上睡着 醒来发现被人推到停尸间了
I scared the pants off a bunch of med students.
我把一票医科学生给吓尿了
Ooh, there's my alarm.
我的闹钟响了
I have to go have breakup phone sex with my ex, Randy.
我得去跟我的前男友兰迪打电话分手炮了
Like you do.
就像你们一样
Well, don't go very far 'cause
别走太远
Oleg gets fainty in hospitals
奥列格在医院
and supermarkets that also sell clothing.
跟那些卖丑衣服的超市会头晕
It's just too much.
太难以接受了
Max, you and Randy have had more sex since your breakup
麦克斯你跟兰迪打过的分手炮
then I had with my college boyfriend.
比我跟我大学男友"做"过的还多次
Granted, he was very busy with musical theater.
虽然他是因为当年醉心于音乐剧
The only time we had sex was when he was in his Cats' costume
我们唯一一次做♥爱 是他穿着《猫》的戏服
and he asked me to give him a Rum Tum Tugger.
并让我以剧中帅猫身份来"宠幸"他
The rule is
规矩就是
you have sex five times before you're broken up.
在正式分手前得"做"足足五次
And this is number five.
而这是第五次
Historically, the biggest, sweatiest,
根据过往经验 最盛大 汗水淋漓
and the most buttcentric...
最以菊花为中心的一次
his, not mine.
他的 不是我的
So...
所以
Do not disturb.
请勿打扰
It's facing the wrong way, and it's very disturbing.
你平板拿反了 画面十分恶心人[打扰]
Hey, Randy.
兰迪 你好啊
Oh, sorry, I just, uh, just woke up.
抱歉 我... 刚起床
Looks like you've been up for awhile.
感觉你已经"起立"一段时间啦
Mind if I camp under that pup tent?
不介意我去你裤裆"帐篷"里待吧
Can you go roast his marshmallows somewhere else?
你能去别的地方烤他的"串儿"吗
Excuse me, there's a VVVIP patient coming in
不好意思 有个超超超级贵宾要来
who needs this room.
他们要求清出这间
I don't care what kind of disease they have.
我才不管他们是有啥病
I'm not going.
老娘哪都不去
Oh, my God.
天啊
That's supermodel Vanessa Nibotito.
是超模瓦妮莎·妮波迪托
She's pretty and smart.
她又漂亮又聪明
It's hard, right girl?
两者兼具很难吧 姐妹
I... I paid for this room.
我付钱订了这间房呢
That giant bag of quarters? That's us!
那一大袋硬币是我们付的啊
Is my baby bump seriously getting bumped
我的宝宝真的要被山寨版的我
by a poor man's me?
给挤去别间病房了吗
I'm so sorry.
太对不住了
I could send you a copy of my motherhood book if you'd like.
有兴趣我可以叫人送你一本我的怀孕全纪录
The lady I paid to write it did a great job.
我请的代笔写得可好了
Oh, wait... wait a minute, no... I'm not going anywhere.
等等 等等 不要 我哪都不去
No, wait a minute.
不要 等等
Wait, I'm not... no, I'm not going.
等等 我不要走 我不要
You can't make me. No, wait a minute.
你们不能逼我 别啊
Wait a min... oh, wait, wait, wait.
等等 等等 稍等一下
Oh, look, I'm getting a little arm workout here.
你们看 我在这还能做点手部锻炼呢
Sophie, the hospital is saying they bounced us from the room
苏菲 医院说他们把我们赶出病房
because we took too long.
是因为我们拖太长时间了
They're offering us a cot near the burn unit of the
给我们一张重症监护室烧烫伤科旁的小床
ICU.
Well,
好吧
ICU don't understand that I'm not having this baby
看来他们的人不知道
until I get back in my suite.
我没回到那间房是不会生的
That's a hard "No," Chris.
克里斯 她打死也不要
Guess who just flirted her way into a free carpal tunnel glove?
猜猜谁调情骗来了免♥费的腕管综合症手套
Some girls flirt their way into a sugar daddy;
某些女孩调情勾引干爹
I get medical supplies.
而我则是免♥费医疗用品
And more good news...
好消息不止如此
Did you get me my room back?
你把我病房要回来了吗
No, those days are over.
那段好日子已经过完了
We're hallway people now.
咱们现在是走廊游民的命
But I was able to print out flyers for our dessert bar.
但我趁机给甜品酒吧打印了传单
I'd love to give them a rounded edge.
我想给传单弄成圆边
Do you have scissors?
你有剪刀吗
Are you kidding me?
你是不是闹呢
Of course I do. Look in my bag.
我当然有啦 我包里给你找
Sophie, they're offering us a fullsize bed,
苏菲 他们愿意给我们完整大小病床
but it's in an MRI machine.
但是是在核磁共振机里
I think we should take it.
我觉得我们该接受
Dessert bar opening tonight.
甜品酒吧今晚开幕
We have a ramp.
我们有轮椅专道
Excuse me, coming through. Coming through.
不好意思 借过 借过
Alister about to give birth.
有大牌病人要生了
Oh, my God.
天啊
Celebrity doctor, Nancy Gonzales!
明星医生 南希·刚萨雷斯
You know, I wear your perfume.
我喷的就是你出的香水呢
Nancy, you might have heard, dessert bar opening tonight.
南希 你可能有听说 甜品酒吧今晚开幕
Someone needs to control the hallway people.
来个人管管这些走廊游民
Randy.
兰迪
Max!
麦克斯
That wasn't me, it was naughty nurse Wanda.
不是我 是调皮护士旺达
I was about to give Wanda a shot.
正打算给旺达"来一针"
Well, she was gonna give it to herself,
应该说是她要给自己"来一针"
but I was gonna tell her exactly how to do it.
只不过我会指导她准确该怎么"做"
Max, isn't playing doctor in a hospital
麦克斯 在医院玩色情医生俏护士
a little on the nose?
也太没哏了吧
I like to be on theme.
我喜欢有个主题嘛
We can play pirate and lusty wench
如果是在海鲜速食餐厅
when I'm in a Long John Silver's.
我也能跟他玩淫♥荡海盗娇村姑啊
No, you won't because we're not allowed in there
你不能 因为我们就是因为这原因
for that very reason.
上了店里的黑名单
Plus, didn't you already have your fifth time?
而且你不是已经搞过第五次了吗
You see, Caroline, breakup sex in LA is six times.
卡洛琳 是这样的 洛城的分手炮是次
It's the DeVitoPerlman rule.
明星夫妻雷亚与德维托的规矩
Rhea forgot her yoga mat, and five limoncellos later,
雷亚闹分手时回家拿瑜伽毯 五瓶甜酒下肚
boom!
一炮
The rest is history.
剩下的就是过往云烟了
He's a lawyer so we have to listen to him.
他是律师 所以我们得听他的
急诊室入口
Dessert bar opening tonight.
甜品酒吧今晚开幕
Sophie, any progress in your nethers?
苏菲 你下面有点动静了吗
Cause our dessert bar opens in five hours,
我们甜品酒吧再五小时要开幕了'
and it promises I'll be there on the flyer.
而传单上写了我本人保证会在现场
Dessert bar opening tonight. I'll be there.
甜品酒吧今晚开幕 我会在场哦
Did you really have to refer to yourself as
你真的要把自己称呼为
New York's Own Caroline Channing"?
"纽约招牌卡洛琳·钱宁"吗"
She's coming. Hallway people, clear a path.
她要出来了 走廊游民 闪开
Congratulations
恭喜你啊
because you're invited to our dessert bar opening.
因为你被邀请出席甜品酒吧开幕
You can bring the baby if you want,
你可以带你的婴儿一起来
but I wouldn't love it.
不过我不会太高兴
What's dessert?
甜点是什么
I'm still tweeting that she's coming.
我还是要发微博说她会来
I'm taking the suite back, girls.
我要把这间病房抢回来了 姑娘们
Roll me in!
推我进去
Yeah, we're not hallway people anymore.
没错 我们又不是走廊游民啦
How long can sushi be sitting out?
寿司可以放多久不坏
Ooh, not that long.
没多久
What about this one?
那这个呢
Max, don't.
麦克斯 别啊
It promises on the flyer
传单上也保证了
that you'll be at the dessert bar opening too.
你到时候也会在甜品酒吧开幕现场
It's in smaller letters, but it's there.
虽然用的字号比较小 但还是有写啊
Oh. I got here as fast as I could.
我尽最快速度赶来了
To take the baby out?
来把宝宝接生出来吗
No, to see the model.
不 是来看超模啊
Um, she's gone.
她已经走了
She kept saying, "Where's Doctor Gomulka?"
她一直念叨"哥穆尔卡医生在哪"
Really?
她真叫我了吗
No, no one's ever said that.
没有 永远不会有人这么说
Well, since I'm already disappointed,
反正已经失望至极
I guess I'll take a look under the hood.
我就再看一眼单子底下吧
Oleg, you know how I love to have a snack
奥列格 你知道我很喜欢
when I get my exam.
被检查时吃零食吗
I'll go to the gift shop and grab you some
我这就去礼品店给你买一些
chocolateheavy trail mix and some Hubba Bubba.
巧克力坚果包跟口香糖
Oh, and Oleg!
奥列格
Turn the bag upside down and... oh.
把袋子反过来然后...
He knows.
他懂我要求
Well, if I were a gambling man, I'd say
如果我是个赌徒 我大概会赌
it'll be at least five hours.
至少五小时后出生吧
And that's how I lost my house.
我就是这么赌输掉我房子的
Nurse, I need something to cut the umbilical cord.
护士 我需要东西剪脐带
Oh, I... wait, wait.
等等 等等
You're in luck.
你运气真好
Sophie,
苏菲
you did great.
你太棒了
You're a mother.
你现在是个母亲了
Also, gesundheit.
祝你健康
听到别人打喷嚏时说的德语祝福语
Aw, the baby's beautiful.
宝宝真好看
Oh, my God.
天啊
I had the baby!
我把孩子生下来了
And Oleg missed it.
而奥列格错过了这一刻
Oh, and he had his heart set on seeing the baby being born.
他一早就下定决心要看着孩子出世
And he missed it.
结果他错过了
He's never gonna forgive himself!
他永远不会原谅自己
He's never, never, never, never, never, never...
他永远永远永远永远永远永远...
Please, Sophie, calm down.
别这样 苏菲 冷静
Maybe Oleg didn't miss it.
或许奥列格没错过
It worries me how little you know about science stuff.
你对科学的无知好让我担心啊
We'll fake the birth.
我们可以来一场假生产嘛
You're asking me to help you fake a birth?
你是在叫我帮忙搞一场假生产吗
You'll be fine. You've faked an orgasm.
你能行 你都假高♥潮过了
Well, that's true.
好吧 的确
We have to make Oleg pass out long enough to bring
我们得想办法让奥列格晕过去够长时间
the baby in and make him think he just missed
才能把宝宝抱回来 再让他以为
a second of the actual birth.
他其实只是走神了一下子
Sophie, act like you're in labor.
苏菲 快假装你要生了
Just yell and tell Oleg you wish you never met him.
就大叫 然后说早知道就不该认识奥列格
It should be easy.
应该很好演
He's coming. Places.
他来了 各就各位
Sorry it took so long, but the lady in front of me
抱歉这么久才回来 但排我前面的女人
paid for her Jujubes with a thirdparty check.
要用背书转让支票来付软糖钱
Oh, I'm in pain!
我好疼啊
Oh, I'm about to have a baby
我要生下孩子啦
for the first time!
第一次呢
Okay. I'm ready.
好了 我准备好了
I popped a Pepto and what I'm now realizing
我随手拿了罐东西喝 现在我意识到
was a laxative.
那是泻药
Oleg,
奥列格
you stay out of the splash zone.
快躲到溅射范围外
It's go time.
要生啦
Oh, there is some seriously birthy stuff going on down
这底下有好些触目惊心不忍直视的东西
here.
Oh, should we get a doctor?
要不要去叫医生来啊
Even a girl one?
没男的叫女的也好
There's no time!
没时间了
Because of all the oozing gunk!
各种恶心分泌物大量喷出
Push, Sophie, push!
用力 苏菲 用力
You... you... you...
你 你 你个贱♥人
you did this to me
都是你的害的
with your gorgeous penis!
用你让我爽翻天的肉♥棒害惨我
We're both sorry!
我跟他都很对不起
Max, anything else disgusting going on down there?
麦克斯 下面还有什么恶心的状况吗
Oh, yeah, we got a real sick situation here.
这下面的状况简直要恶心死人啊
Oh, man, there's a lot of placenta goo.
天啊 好多胎盘粘液
I haven't been this woozy since I was in a Super
我上次这么晕是进了一家超大型廉价超市
Target.
I'm not going down.
我不会晕倒的
I'm not going down.
我打死不晕
The wet, sludgy baby is fighting through the slime!
湿哒哒黏糊糊的宝宝正在努力通过粘液
Oh, girls, quick.
姑娘们 快点
He's down. Get the baby!
他晕了 快去抱孩子过来
Oh, my God. All right.
天啊 好了
All right, now, to wake him up,
行了 现在把他弄醒吧
yell "Immigration" or tickle his...
喊"移民局"或痒他的...
Immigration!
移民局来啦
What'd I miss?
我错过什么了
Look, Oleg.
你看 奥列格
The baby is here.
宝宝生下来啦
And it's a girl.
是闺女
She has a bejoonie, just like her mama.
她也有个小洞洞 就像她妈妈
She's beautiful, just like her mama.
她真漂亮 就像她妈妈
Yeah.
是啊
Do you want to hold her?
你想抱她吗
Yeah?
真的吗
Yeah.
真的
Look.
你看
That's your daddy.
他是你爸爸
Let her get settled in the world
等她熟悉了这世界
before you start giving her bad news.
再开始告诉她坏消息吧
Hello, baby.
宝宝 你好
Barbara!
芭芭拉
Barbara Kuchenski Golishevsky!
芭芭拉·科臣斯基·高列彻夫斯基
Oh, that sounds real musical, doesn't it?
听起来很有旋律感 对吧
Depends what kind of music you listen to.
看你都听哪种音乐了
Aww, she's so cute.
她好可爱啊
Barbara's a definite?
真确定叫芭芭拉了吗
Yeah.
对啊
I'm your godmother.
我是你干妈
One day I'm gonna teach you how to lie to these two.
有一天我会教你怎么撒谎骗这两人
And also this one.
还有这个人
Look at all those people at our door.
看看这么多人等在我们门外
And not a torch in the mix.
而且没人带着火把要寻仇
Oh, Earl. Are you lost again?
厄尔 你又走丢了吗
The diner is next door!
餐厅是在隔壁
Don't confuse him. He's our bouncer.
别害他搞混 他是我们酒吧看门人
You're our bouncer!
你是我们酒吧看门人
Now, you don't really expect everybody on this list
你不会真指望你名单上所有人
to show up, now, do you?
都会出席开幕式吧
Cause Liam Hemsworth and I are in a Twitter feud.
利亚姆·海姆斯沃斯跟我微博上在撕逼呢'
《雷神索尔》演员克里斯·海姆斯沃斯的弟弟
Okay, some of it may have been wishful thinking,
好吧 名单上有几个的确是有点痴心妄想
but I did text Chainz.
但我给二链子发短信了
We met him on a private plane once.
我们有一次跟他在私人飞机上遇见
I gave him my digits.
我给了他我的号码
Uh, Chainz, is that a person or a dress code?
二链子 是人名还是种着装方式
It's both.
两者皆是
Earl, Chainz is a famous rapper.
厄尔 二链子是知名饶舌歌手
Oh, my God, Chainz is here... ah!
天啊 二链子来了
I'm letting Chainz the famous rapper in before we open.
我要让知名饶舌歌手二链子在我们开幕前进来
What's up, Double C?
最近好吗 琳琳
She prefers to be called, "New York's Own Double C."
她比较喜欢被人称呼"纽约招牌大♥波琳妹妹"
Sup?
最近好吗
I can't believe you made it to our dessert bar.
真不敢相信你真的来我们甜品酒吧
I can't believe anybody knows what a dessert bar is.
我真不敢相信有人知道甜品酒吧是什么
Are you kidding?
你在开玩笑吗
Sugar and alcohol go hand in hand.
糖与酒最搭了
It's two great tastes that taste great together.
两种美妙滋味合而为一
Like how I seamlessly fuse newschool and oldschool flows.
就像我完美融合了新派与老派的旋律
Well, now I get it.
现在我能理解了
Why didn't you just say that, girls?
你们为什么不这么跟我解释呢
Now, can I get one of those flantinis, please?
我能来一杯果馅马丁尼吗 麻烦啦
Look, sorry I didn't recognize you, Chainz.
二链子 抱歉我之前没认出你
I let my subscription to Vibe expire in .
我的音乐杂志年到期后就没续订了
Oh, that's okay.
没事的
I think they give discounts for return customers.
他们好像有给回头客折扣
Oh, really?
真的吗
Well, well, well!
哎哟哟
Look who opened up a bar
看看谁在我
after I denied them a liquor license.
拒批许可证后开了家酒吧啊
Well, well, well, look who decided
哎哟哟 看看是谁
to wear ladies' pants hoping no one would notice.
穿了女人裤子 还希望没人会发现啊
J. Petto, what are you doing here?
劫佩托 你来干嘛
How did you know we were opening?
你怎么知道我们今天开幕
I definitely didn't give you a flyer.
我绝对没给你发过传单
I follow Chainz on Twitter,
我有粉二链子的微博
sometimes in my car.
有时候也在车里跟踪[粉]他
Just so you know, I have on speed dial.
告诉你 我一键就能打给警察
Our liquor license, sir.
这是我们的酒水许可证
Uh, this belongs to the Williamsburg Diner.
这是威廉斯堡餐厅的酒牌
They're the same property. We own the diner.
他们属于同家店 餐厅也是我们的
They're related,
两家店同出一脉
like Alec and whoever the grossest Baldwin is.
就像帅大叔亚历克·鲍德温跟最丑的
好莱坞知名演员家族鲍德温兄弟 一门四个兄弟全是演员
Daniel.
丹尼尔·鲍德温是兄弟
You can't use another establishment's liquor license.
你不能用其他生意的酒水许可证
I'm shutting you two down
我要勒令你们关闭
and I'm slapping the owner of the diner
我还要罚款餐厅的老板
with a $, fine.
两万五千元罚款
Who is this bitch?
这个贱♥人到底是谁
Just some mean, little man with
就是个卑贱小人
nothing better to do on a Friday night than ruin our lives.
大周五晚上没事干 就要跑来毁我们人生
Not true; I'm taking my aunt
才不是 这里完事后我还得
to drag bingo right after this.
带我阿姨去变性人宾果游戏呢
Well, girls,
姑娘们
I managed to make it here after this dog fornicated
这狗搞遍全绿点区的母狗后
his way across Greenpoint.
才肯跟我过来这里
Been there.
我去过
Done that.
我搞过
Here's $.
这里是三百块
My earnings after working jobs
这是我打了份工
and being robbed times.
又被抢劫过次后剩下的钱
Twice by the same girl.
被同一个女的抢了两次
You can have your diner back.
你可以要回你的餐厅
We feel bad about taking it from you,
我们不忍心从你手里抢走餐厅
and also the owner of the diner owes
而且餐厅的老板得付
old buttchin here and the city $,.
老屁♥股下巴哥跟市政♥府两万五罚款
What?
什么
The diner is mine again?
餐厅又是我的啦
Yeah, sorry.
对啊 抱歉
Yes!
太好啦
Yes! Yes!
太好啦 太好啦
I have my baby back.
我的宝宝又回到我手里啦
You have baby everything.
你全身哪里不是宝宝大小
I'm shutting you down for business days.
我要勒令你们关门个工作日
And you're getting a bill in the mail
而你会收到一封罚款信
with very confusing instructions.
上面还会有非常让人不解的指示
And...
还有
I'm having my birthday here.
我要在这里办我的生日会
Let's bounce, Chainz.
咱们走 二链子
So long, pal.
再见啦 兄弟
You're gonna have to find someone else to use as a chew toy.
你得找别人来当你的磨牙玩具了
Oh, man.
好吧
Sorry about the bar, girls.
酒吧的事真遗憾啊 姑娘们
I mean, guess I'm gonna have to get me a bottle of rose
看来我只能跟你外带瓶酒
and head over to Mrs. Fields' again.
然后去费尔斯太太饼干店里喝了
全球连锁美式西饼店
Does she have a sister?
她有姐妹吗
Or a color TV?
或者是彩色电视呢
See you later, girls.
再见啦 姑娘们
It look like I'm gonna go party with the old man right here.
看来我得跟这位老先生一起去派对啦
Can you guys just give us another minute?
各位能再多等我们一会
Or business days?
或者个工作日吗
The only thing that opened and closed faster than us
唯一比我们还短命的大概只有
was Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot.
不卖座电影《威士忌 探戈 狐步舞》了
Well, at least I didn't get a blow out for this.
幸好我没特别花钱去弄头发
That lessens the sting of a failed opening.
让开幕失败所带来的伤痛轻了一点
Are you kidding?
开什么玩笑
I think this is gonna make us more popular.
我觉得这会让我们更炙手可热
You know how people always want what they can't have.
人永远都会想要他们得不到的东西
Like you with everything.
就像你想要所有东西一样
If that's true, then why do you look upset?
如果这是真的 你为什么看起来很难过
Cause Randy and I are really broken up.
因为我跟兰迪真的彻底分手了'
We burned through the AffleckGarner clause,
各种分分合合的明星夫妻条款
the CoxArquette addendum.
或者招数都被我们拿来用过了
As soon as we got to the BieberGomez principle,
直到最终我们要用比伯跟戈麦斯原则时
we were ashamed of ourselves.
我们都看不起自己了才结束
Max, you're the queen of not following the rules.
麦克斯 你可是破坏规矩界的女王
Rules, schmules," You say.
你不是说"规矩 屁矩"吗"
Yes!
对啊
Rules, schmules!
规矩 屁矩
And condoms, schmondoms.
还有保险套 屁险套
Yeah, that one's not great.
这个就不怎么样
What I'm saying is you make stuff up.
我的意思是你总自己想出新东西
Like this dessert bar.
就像这个甜品酒吧
And that was a great idea.
而这是个很棒的点子
So you should make up rules for you and Randy.
所以你也应该为你和兰迪定个新规矩
Cause it really seems like you guys care about each other.
因为感觉你们真的很在乎彼此啊'
Yeah, you're right.
好吧 你说得对
Breakup, schmakeup.
分手 分屁手
Now, go call Randy
去吧 打给兰迪
and make me want to burn my iPad.
恶心到我想烧掉我的平板吧
Go, I'm begging you.
去吧 求你了
Yeah, we're gonna kill it
我们绝对会大展宏图
in business days.
只要再等个工作日就行了