麦克斯为兰迪去洛杉矶奇遇记

Previously on Broke Girls...
《打工姐妹花》前情提要
The hurricane is headed right for Williamsburg.
台风正朝着威廉斯堡逼近
Fedoras are blowing down the streets,
街上帽子被吹得满天飞
craft beers are spilling everywhere,
精酿啤酒洒得满地都是
and indie bands are cancelling practice.
独立音乐乐团练习取消
This explains why Randy isn't here yet.
这就是为什么兰迪还没来
He's probably stuck in the storm.
他估计是被困暴风雨里了
He's not answering and it's going straight to voicemail.
他不接 直接转去语音信箱了
He probably blocked you.
他很可能屏蔽你电话了
We're really broken up.
我们真的彻底分手了
Let's go hug our dessert bar.
先去抱抱我们的甜品吧
It was probably so scared.
它一定吓坏了
Oh, my God, Max.
天啊 麦克斯
Our dessert bar is destroyed.
我们的甜品酒吧就这么毁了
I think we have to finally admit it to ourselves.
看来我们是时候该面对现实了
Ugh, we're cursed.
我们是被诅咒的姐妹花
Yeah, this is personal.
老天爷绝对跟我有仇
Come on, when that gypsy pointed at me in first grade
别这样 一年级时那个吉普赛人
and said, "Biggus Boobus," that was a curse.
对着我念"大[罩]杯咒" 那才叫诅咒
I'm sure we weren't the only business
我们肯定不是唯一一家
that was ruined by the storm.
台风受灾户
We're not cursed.
我们才没有被诅咒
Yeah, now it's starting to burn.
现在还开始有刺痛感了
Well, I am choosing to take this disaster as a sign.
我选择将这场灾难当做一个启示
It's not like we don't have insurance.
而且我们又不是没保保险
And while they're rebuilding this place,
在他们重建这里的时候
I'm gonna go surprise Randy and try to rebuild us.
我要去给兰迪惊喜 重建我们感情
You see the parallels?
看出这关联了吗
You get it. She gets it.
你懂 你肯定懂
Girls, did you hear?
姑娘们 你们听说了吗
Turns out only one business in the entire area
整个区域只有一家商户
was affected by the storm.
受风灾影响
I wonder which one...
真好奇是哪家...
File this under "Story For Another Time"?
这故事就先归类为"择日再聊"吧
Biggus Boobus!
污中生奶变变变
Ugh, I don't believe this!
老娘真是服了
All the airports are more shut down than I am emotionally.
所有机场停飞 比老娘心情停摆还夸张
Earl, have you had any luck with any busses or trains?
厄尔 你搜到没停开的大巴或火车了吗
I'm on it.
在查了
What button do I push for the Internet?
我该按哪个按钮才会连上网
I just talked to the insurance company.
我刚跟保险公司通完电话
They're gonna pay for all our repairs.
他们会赔偿所有的损失
And they gave me some extra money
还多给了我们一点额外补贴
cause I told them we were pregnant.
因为我跟他们说我们俩是孕妇'
Can we please focus on how I'm gonna get to L.A.?
能先关注一下我怎么去洛城这件事吗
I have low selfesteem and a wellviewed sex tape.
我明明不要脸又有广为流传的性♥爱影带
I should be there already!
我人早该在那里才对啊
如金·卡戴珊便是以此成名 而好莱坞就坐落在洛杉矶
Max, I'm gonna try to put this delicately.
麦克斯 我尽量说得不伤你心
You're acting like a craycray psycho stalker.
但你现在就像个疯狂变态跟踪狂
I am not a stalker.
我才不是跟踪狂
I'm the one that gets stalked.
我都是被人跟踪的那个
That reminds me, I should probably tell Gary
说到跟踪狂 我应该通知一下盖瑞
I'm going out of town.
我要出远门
Oh, he knows.
他知道了
He left a bon voyage dookie on our welcome mat
他今早在门口脚踏垫拉了祝你一路平安屎
this morning.
But the card was sweet.
但贺卡挺贴心的啊
Well, then as your best friend,
那我作为你的闺蜜
I am going with you to make sure you're okay.
我要陪你去 确保你平平安安
You know, Randy did give me an airline voucher
兰迪曾给我一张航空公司礼券
when I ruined our relationship the first time.
就是我第一次说分手的时候
I could probably get two tickets for that,
我估计可以拿去换到两张票
so I could put my feet up.
这样我就有地方放脚了
Or I guess you could come.
或者也可以让你跟来啦
If I'm the winglady on your stalking mission,
如果我是你跟踪任务的帮手
I'm gonna go ahead and call this a vacation.
那这我要宣布这次是度假之旅
Wow, that's sad.
好可悲啊
All right, I'm almost on the Internet.
好啦 我差不多要连上网啦
Does anybody know my password?
有人知道我的解屏密码吗
Earl"[厄尔]It's "Earl."
是"
Oh, right, my first dog's name.
没错 用的是我第一只狗的名字
Hey, everybody!
大家安安
I just got in a fight with one of Barbara's friends
我跟芭芭拉的一个小伙伴
in the IKEA ball pit.
在宜家球池里吵起来了
Yeah, if you're gonna bring meatballs in there,
你想带宜家肉球丸子进球池
you gotta bring some for everybody.
那就得带够给所有人都能吃的份
Yeah, there's never enough meatballs in a ball pit.
球池里的肉球丸子再多也不嫌多啊
Earl, how we doing on our trip to L.A.?
厄尔 我们去洛杉矶的事怎么样了
Well, the rental cars are rented out,
租车店的车全租出去了
trains are down, and no flights till Tuesday.
火车停开 航班停飞到周二
And I got a message from emoji. Who's emoji?
我还收到了表情包发来的短信 谁是表情包
Hey, why don't you two just road trip it?
你们俩干嘛不直接开车过去
You know, throw a cooler of beer
后车厢带着一冷却箱的啤酒
with pulled pork in the trunk and just go, baby.
以及手撕猪肉条 然后头也不回地上路
I would do the same if I didn't have
要不是我有个要喂奶的大娃
that giant breastfeeding baby.
我也想这样去旅行
I'm talking about Oleg.
我说的是奥列格
May I suggest the Toyota Yaris I sold to Han?
我能建议你们开我卖给阿憨的丰田小车吗
It's efficient on gas,
它很省油
and the trunk can't be unlocked from the inside.
而且后车厢只能从外面打开
Oh, no! You're not taking my car.
你们别想开我的车
It's my turn to drive my quilting group
这次轮到我载我的缝花被子俱乐部
to the farmers' market.
去农贸市场了
Han, we can do this the hard way
阿憨 我们可以来硬的
where you don't give me the keys and I give you a wedgie,
就是你不给我钥匙 我把你内♥裤拉到你头上
or the easy way where you do give me the keys
或是你乖乖配合 交出车钥匙
and I give you a slightly less intense wedgie.
我拉你内♥裤套头时下手轻点
The keys are in my office, but you're not...
车钥匙就在我办公室里 但你别想...
Oh, dear, I've said too much.
靠 我说溜嘴了
Who do you see winning this one?
你猜这场龙争鼠斗谁会赢
And you should know, Max keeps a pocket full of sand
我先告诉你 麦克斯为了防这种情况
for these kinda things.
永远带了一口袋的沙子
Jinglejangle, bitches!
叮当到手 小婊♥子们
You should be fired for what happened back there.
就你刚才的行为 我就该炒了你
Bathing suit areas are off limits.
猴子偷桃是禁止的
Fine, use my car,
行吧 开我的车去
but I'm going to be driving it.
但必须是我来开
I'm coming with you.
我要跟你们去
I finally got the gas pedal extension where I like it.
我好不容易才把短腿油门辅助器调到位
But who's gonna run the diner?
那谁来管餐厅啊
FYI, I managed a pretty successful jerk shack for years.
对了 我曾经营过一家挺成功的"小保健"
Ew, Oleg.
恶心鬼奥列格
What? Get your mind out of the gutter.
干嘛啦 你别想歪好吗
We sold Jamaicanstyle chicken.
我们卖牙买加风味鸡肉
As a front for fullrelease massages.
来给我们的小保健打掩护
Y'all, what was my first dog's name again?
问一下 我第一只狗的名字叫啥来着
Earl. What?
厄尔 干嘛
I guess my only options here are Oleg and Earl.
看来管店人选只有奥列格跟厄尔了
Woof, real Murderers' Row.
哎妈 一时之选 个个要命啊
Who are you gonna have waitress?
那服务员怎么办
Cause you know they'll have to match
他们还得能跟得上'
the extremely low bar set by my associate and myself.
由我搭档与我亲自设下的超超低标准呢
Oh, can I do it?
能让我当吗
Oh, who am I kidding?
我开什么玩笑呢
Or course I can!
我当然可以
I actually used to be a waitress at Pooters.
我曾经在波头鹰餐厅当过服务员
You mean Hooters?
你是说猫头鹰餐厅吗
美国连锁西餐厅 以服务员穿着火♥辣闻名
No, it was Poland's version.
不 我那个是波兰版的
Yeah, all the waitresses were bottomless.
我们那里女服务员下半身不♥穿
I'm hoping there were a lot of hairnets involved.
那希望你们那里戴了很多"发网"啊
Oh, you'd think so.
按理说是该这样...
Han, I'd say you drive like a little old lady,
阿憨 我本来想说你开车像老太婆
but three of them just passed us.
但已经有三个老太婆超我们车了
I had more fun driving my bitchy friend Neil
我开车载我的毒舌朋友尼尔去医院吸水泡
to get his blisters drained.
都没载你们闹心
Also, what's the strategy here?
所以现在有啥计划了没
We've been driving for hours.
都已经开了好几小时车了
Well, once we find an open airport,
等我们找到没关闭的机场
we'll fly to L.A., where Max will surprise Randy,
我们就飞去洛城 麦克斯就给兰迪个惊喜
and she'll be all, "Ahhh,"
然后她就用舌头狂甩兰迪
and he'll be all, "Ahhh."
然后兰迪也跟她...
First of all, great Randy impression.
首先 兰迪学得太像
I almost gave you a little "Wahhh""
差点就忍不住给你来点...
You girls have less of a game plan
你们俩的事先计划
than any season of American Horror Story.
比《美国恐怖故事》任何一季的剧情还少
Well, who really needs a game plan anyway?
而且谁需要什么计划啊
I'm on vacation, baby.
我现在可是在度假啊
See? Didn't even tear up that time.
你看 说出来都不会掉泪了
What's with these snacks?
这些零食都是咋回事
Vegetables?
蔬菜干
Are you on that bunny diet again?
你的兔子瘦身饮食又开始了吗
No, I gained weight on that somehow.
不是 而且我吃了还胖了呢
Han, there's a lot of Goo Goo Dolls here.
阿憨 你好多摇滚乐团咕咕玩偶的盘啊
GGDLive Goo. Wow.
还有咕咕偶之现场咕
I'm taking music criticism
你凭啥要听一个
from a proud member of the Juggalo nation?
跳梁小丑的脑残粉批评我的音乐口味啊
说唱金属乐队 曾有单♥曲得过史上最烂单♥曲奖
Hand me a radish.
给我片萝卜干
I mean, how long are you supposed to chew a radish?
萝卜干到底要嚼多久啊
Forever?
一辈子吗
Can I interest anyone in a side trip
我能给你们介绍个小景点
to Pine Creek Gorge?
去松泉谷玩吗
If you love the Grand Canyon,
如果你们喜欢大峡谷
you'll think Pine Creek Gorge is pretty good.
你们也会觉得这宾州小峡谷也不错
Oh, my seasonal gourd.
我勒个大去
Look at Randy's Snapchat story.
看看兰迪的新快拍
This movie's got such a large budget,
这部电影制作费丰厚
they even got the lawyer is own trailer.
连律师都有自己的休息拖车
Oh! Scratch that.
不对 不是自己的
I'm sharing it with a very large scorpion.
我还跟一只非常大的蝎子分享
You're jealous of a scorpion now?
你现在连蝎子的醋也吃了吗
That's where we're at?
你沦落到这境地啦
No!
不是
There's a finger on Randy's shoulder.
是兰迪肩膀上的手指
A woman's finger.
是女人的手指
Manicured nail, no wedding ring.
做过指甲 没有婚戒
How dare she?
她哪来的狗胆
Yea nor nay on Pine Creek Gorge?
松泉谷你们是要去还是不去呢
The exit's in three miles,
再.公里就到出口了
and I should start changing lanes.
我该开始换道了
So that's a maybe?
所以是可能去吗
I gotta finger this out!
我得查出这只贱爪子
Ugh, why can't you zoom in on a video?
为什么影片不能放大啊
I know we have the technology.
我知道这技术肯定有了
It was used against me
这技术在
in the case of Bass Pro Shops versus Max Black.
猎具用品店对麦克斯·布莱克一案中害过我
Ugh, I think there's a pit in my fig.
我的无花果里好像有个核
That's a prune,
那是梅子干
and I'd pace yourself.
我能建议你别太猴急吗
Caroline, could you call the diner and check in?
卡洛琳 你能打去餐厅 看看情况吗
I've been getting the machine all day,
一整天打过去都是答录机
and I gotta make sure Oleg isn't shooting a porno there.
我得确定奥列格没在店里拍黄♥片
Oh, he didn't get the funding.
他没筹到足够资金
His Kinkstarter campaign fizzled out.
他的黄筹网项目没凑够钱
There, the phone is unplugged.
好啦 电话线拔掉了
Good luck calling the police now, table two.
现在看你怎么打给警察 第二桌
Wow, you unplugged that phone
你拔电话线的速度
faster than we unplugged my Aunt Esther.
比我们拔掉我阿姨的呼吸维持器还快
She was a mean lady.
她可讨人厌了
Sophie, ready to reenter the workforce?
苏菲 准备好重新踏进职场了吗
I'm ready.
我准备好啦
The question is, are you ready?
问题应该是 你们准备好了吗
And the answer is no, I am not.
答案是还没 我还没准备好
Hey, everybody!
大家安安
Can I take your order?
能帮你点单吗
Miss, sparkling or still?
小姐 是气泡水还是普通水
How's everything tasting?
味道如何啊
《MMMBop》 Hanson
I wish you guys would win American Idol
真希望你们俩能赢《美国偶像》冠军
so I'd never have to hear from you ever again.
这样就再也不用听到你们俩唱歌了
该节目的冠军大多数出唱片都没红
Oh, come on, Max. Listen up.
别这样嘛 麦克斯 你听嘛
What's a road trip without a singalong?
不合唱一下算什么公路旅行啊
I don't know, tolerable.
算可忍受的版本
Now let's talk about something everyone's interested in.
现在来谈谈大家都在意的事情
I screengrabbed Randy's video,
我截屏了兰迪的影片
which enabled me to zoom in.
这样我就能放大了
And upon zooming, I realized that...
而在我放大的时候 我意识到了
You're going crazy?
你在发疯吗
Max, seriously, maybe we should go back home.
麦克斯 说真的 或许我们该回家了
Randy blocked you.
兰迪都屏蔽你了
You have to expect there might be a new finger in his life.
他的人生中出现新"手指"也不意外啊
I am not going crazy.
我才没有发疯
I'm merely scouring the World Wide Web
我也只不过是随便在网上搜搜
for female friends of Randy who are tagged in a photo of him
兰迪照片里@过的所有女性朋友
with their index fingers cropped out.
然后把她们的食指截图出来
That way I can piece the two photos together
这样才能把两张截图放在一起
jigsaw style to get the answers I deserve,
像拼拼图一样找出我应得的答案
and oh, my God, I think I'm having a breakdown.
天啊 我想我精神崩溃了
She's not the only one.
她不是唯一一个"崩溃"的
Please tell me that was Caroline's prunes kicking in.
请告诉我是吃了助排便梅子的卡洛琳放屁
I can't believe we're broken down in the middle of nowhere.
真不敢相信我们在荒郊野外抛锚了
Amanda Knox had a better vacation than this.
阿曼达·诺克斯的假期都比我们强
曾被指控在意大利交换期间杀了室友 年被无罪释放
We have to start walking. Leave that suitcase here.
我们用走的吧 把行李箱留在这边
What did you pack in there,
你都带了什么行李啊
one of your longwinded anecdotes?
你其中一个又臭又长的趣闻故事吗
Funny story actually.
其实还真是个有趣的故事
I was going through my sweaters,
我当时在看要带哪件毛衣
and I realized that when I was ...
我想起来我在岁的时候
Hold that thought forever.
先等下...辈子在说吧
Now you wanna find a finger, you gotta use a finger.
想找出手指 就得用手指
Max, no! We can't hitchhike.
麦克斯 不行 不能搭便车
What if some psycho picks us up?
万一坐到变态杀人狂的车怎么办
Really, who wouldn't want to wear this skin?
你想想 谁不会想要剥下我这层皮来穿
I think the problem is the transmission.
我觉得问题应该是出在变速箱
There is none.
这车没有
I hitchhiked all the time in school.
我上学那会 整天都搭便车啊
Nothing bad ever happened.
从没发生过什么坏事
I did spend a year locked in a guy's shed once,
虽然曾经被一个男人锁在小屋里一年
but that was mutual.
但那是我们共同的决定
I'll tell you what I told my prom date,
我要对你说我对我毕业舞伴说过的话
put that finger away.
把你的手指拿开
I thought your prom date was gay.
你的当年舞伴不是基佬吗
He was. He was doing a lot of this.
是啊 他当年一直这样
Oh, good, tinted windows
太棒了 深色贴膜车窗
for a more private murdering experience.
让你拥有更私密的谋杀体验
Um, this thing is smoking more than my grandma
这东西冒的烟 比我奶奶宾果冠军赛时
at the Bingo finals.
抽的烟还多
You girls stuck?
姑娘们卡在这了吗
I think "stagnant" is a better word for us.
我觉得停滞不前比较适合我们
Name's Becky. With the good hair.
叫我贝姬 乌溜溜秀发的贝姬
Y'all need a ride?
需要搭便车吗
Thanks. We're going west, Fievel style.
谢谢 我要去西部 走长征路的风格
If you could take us somewhere with outgoing flights.
如果你能带我们到未关闭的机场
I can drive if you want.
你要的话 我开车也行
I used to do it for a Colombian drug lor...
我曾经帮一个哥伦比亚的运毒....
FritoLay.
品一般好吃的零食
I can get you all the way to Missouri,
我可以载你们到密苏里
home to street violence and a large percentage
街头暴力与美国绝大多数
of America's OxyContin epidemic.
止痛药上瘾者之都
Great, and, Max, at least you'll know people.
太好了 麦克斯 那里都是你的同类啊
Oh, good, we got a ride, 'cause that car is deader than the conversation
太好了 有便车搭 那台车比朱莉皮特夫妇
at the JoliePitt Thanksgiving this year.
感谢节的席间谈话还死气沉沉
Oh, sorry, you girls can come,
不好意思 你们姑娘们能上车
but I don't let strange men into my cab.
但我才不让陌生男人上我车
Oh, I can vouch for Han. He's not a man.
我可以为他担保 他不是男人
It's okay, girls. Go ahead without me.
没事的 两位 你们先行出发吧
I'll just call AAA.
我在这等保险公司来拖车就行
Cool. Later, hater.
那太好啦 再见 拜拜
Wait!
等等
You're really leaving?
你们真的一走了之啊
Who leaves someone on the side of the road
什么人会把别人就这么丢在
in the middle of nowhere?
荒郊野岭的路边啊
You're not people!
你们不是人
Excuse me?
不好意思
Excuse me, Miss?
不好意思 小姐
Oh, not you again.
别又是你啊
Listen, don't eat this.
听我说 别吃这个
I ordered a steak, and this is a dirty washcloth.
我点了牛排 而这是脏抹布
You want me to heat it up?
要我帮你热一下吗
I mean, why am I always getting you stuff?
为什么总是我在帮你拿东西来啊
How come you're not scratching my back?
你这人怎么不懂知恩图报 礼尚往来呢
See how I told him off?
看到我教训他了吗
You know, just like Max does, right girl?
就像麦克斯平常那样 对吧 姐妹
Why are you calling me girl?
你干嘛叫我姐妹
I'm calling you a woman.
说你是个女人啊
You like, like the girls do with Han,
就像她们叫阿憨那样
only he takes it.
可他就会乖乖接受
I mean, I wasn't expecting all this.
我没想过会这样
Well, neither was I.
我也没有啊
This is supposed to be my nap time.
现在本来应该是我午睡时间
This is my vacation.
这就是我的假期
That's how bad my real life is.
我的真实生活就是这么惨
And I'm trying to get back with my ex.
我在试图跟我前男友和好
He blocked me on his phone, and I am one diaper away
他手机把我屏蔽了 而我跟那个
from being that crazy lady astronaut.
绑架过人的女太空人比只差一件尿布了
I never had the courage of putting myself out there.
我就从来没有过对人掏心掏肺的勇气
I mean, romantically speaking.
随便瞎掰的话
I was on the Seal Team that killed Bin Laden.
我还是杀本拉登的海豹突击队的队员呢
I don't know.
不知道了
I may look tough on the outside,
或许我的外表很坚强
but underneath it all is a scared little girl
但其实内心还是个胆小的小女孩
and a lot of homemade tattoos.
身上有无数自制刺青
Well, you clearly have good judgment.
你一看就有很好的判断力
Take a look at this video and tell me if this finger
你看看这个影片 告诉我这手指
looks like it's been in my boyfriend's mouth.
像不像进过我男朋友的嘴
Hold on, let me grab my glasses!
等等 我拿一下我的眼镜
Whoa, Becks! You wanna pick a lane?
贝姬 你要选好一条道开吗
We're currently in all three.
我们现在一台车占了三条道
Don't distract her from the video.
别干扰她看影片
Oh, I like this.
我喜欢
Enough talking. Show us your ass, white boy.
少废话了 快亮出你的翘臀 小白男
So sorry.
对不起
I didn't know the horn would be so loud,
我不知道喇叭会这么大声
but could you scooch?
但你能不能让开点
Ooh, I wasn't driving?
不是我在开车吗
Man, being a Seal really messed with my head.
天啊 当特种兵真是把我当成神经病了
I don't know why I didn't think of this before,
我也不知道我怎么现在才想起来
but my friend, Sloppy Joe, has a oneengine plane.
但是我的朋友邋遢乔有一台单引擎飞机
He might be able to fly y'all all the way to L.A.
他或许有办法载你们飞去洛杉矶
I'm sorry, what?
抱歉 你说什么
A messy sandwich is gonna fly us to L.A.?
牛肉酱三明治[邋遢乔]开飞机载我们吗
Okay.
好吧
Sloppy was an old high school crush
邋遢哥是我高中暗恋对象
I never had the guts to go for.
我从来没勇气跟他告白
Man was a legend there.
他当年可是传奇人物
He was a senior for nine years.
他高三读了年呢
Thanks, Becky With the Good Hair.
谢谢你啊 乌溜溜秀发的贝姬
And you'll find someone, I'm sure.
我敢说 你会找到真爱的
You just gotta go for it.
你勇敢追爱就行了
That's what she keeps telling me.
她也一直这么对我说
I know, but she will.
对你是假意客套 对她是真心祝愿
I don't think we've formally met, Sloppy Joe.
我们好像还没正式自我介绍 邋遢乔
I'm Caroline Channing.
我叫卡洛琳·钱宁
They'll be reporting our deaths together.
到时候我们的死讯将会一起被报导
You're on your own there.
我不会跟你们一起的
They reported mine five years ago.
我五年前就被人报导去世了
We're on a ghost plane? Awesome!
我们坐的是幽灵飞机吗 太屌♥了
Just curious, will there be a beverage service?
好奇一问 机上会有餐饮服务吗
You want some of my beer?
想来两口我的啤酒吗
That's all right, you already spilled most of it on me.
不用了 大半瓶都撒我身上了
I bet that's why they call him Sloppy.
所以人家才说他邋遢啊
Nope, my landings are a mess.
不 我的落地才是真一"塌"糊涂
Caroline, look at the bright side.
卡洛琳 要往好的方面想嘛
How? None of the lights work.
怎么想 所有指示灯都坏了
We're on our way to L.A.,
我们正在去洛杉矶的路上
and Sloppy took Randy's voucher as payment.
而邋遢哥收了兰迪的礼券当报酬
And then rolled a nice, fat joint with it.
再用礼券卷了一管大♥麻
You bet I did.
这还用说
Ride the lightning!
穿越雷劫
Do it back.
你们也叫
Let me hear you say, "Yeehaw!"
让我也听听你们这么叫唤
I'm just glad you found me.
我很庆幸你找到我了
I was about to build a hut for the night.
我差点就要去搭个小屋过夜了
I thought you said you didn't pick up strange men.
你不是说你不接陌生男人的吗
I didn't.
的确是啊
Until a new friend convinced me I gotta take a chance.
但我的新朋友说服我要勇于尝试
How fast can this old rig go?
这台老东西能多快啊
This old rig can go all night, baby.
这"老东西"能整晚不停歇
Doesn't answer my question at all,
完全答非所问
but let's do the damn thing.
不过既然如此 那就来吧
This flight's a lot bumpier than I thought it was gonna be.
这趟旅程比我想象中还颠簸啊
Speaking of bumps,
说到颠簸
y'all don't have any blow, do you?
你们那里有没有一"颠"白粉
Yeah, that's what this flight needs,
这趟旅程现在最需要的就是
a more jittery pilot.
一个更神经兮兮的机长了
Randy just posted a new video.
兰迪又贴了新的影片
Eh, buffer faster!
缓冲快一点啊
Ugh, do you get any bars up here?
你在这上面有信号吗
If I did, I wouldn't be asking you for cocaine.
我如果有信号[酒吧]就不用问有没有白粉了
Never mind, don't need it.
没关系 不需要等信号了
We're going down.
我们要下去了
Going down? My least favorite expression.
下去 我最不喜欢听人这么说了
And now I hate it even more.
我现在又更讨厌这词了
At least in this version of going down
至少这版本的"下去"
you don't have to spoon afterwards.
完事后不需要抱抱啊
Oh, my God!
天啊
Caroline, amazing news.
卡洛琳 天大好消息
You found parachutes?
你找到降落伞了吗
Or that part of the wing that tore away?
或者是飞机断掉的那节机翼
Ha, oh, no, we're goners.
不是的 我们早死定了
But Silver Linings Playbook,
但乌云背后有一道幸福线
that finger belonged to Randy's mom!
那根手指是兰迪妈妈的
She's visiting him on set.
她去片场找他
Ah, and she's not even that cute.
而且她长得都没想象中好看
I am gonna be so mad at you in heaven.
等我们上天堂 我一定不原谅你
You think I'm going to heaven?
你觉得我会上天堂吗
She thinks I'm going to heaven.
她居然觉得我会上天堂
Plane's too heavy. We gotta drop some weight.
飞机太重了 我们得丢掉一些重量
I knew those curly fries at the truck stop were a mistake,
我就知道在卡车休息站的时候 不该吃那薯条
but they didn't offer a healthy alternative.
可他们也没有卖可替代的健康食品啊
Hold this. What?
拿着这个 什么
Hey, Sloppy, the sky is that way!
邋遢哥 天空是在这边
I like this, too.
我也喜欢开这个
This suitcase has gotta go.
必须得丢掉行李箱
No, all my clothes are in there.
不行 我所有的衣服都在里面
All of our money! Our credit card!
我们所有的钱 我们的信用卡
There is no way that that one tiny suitcase
那么小的一个箱子
is causing all these problems with your plane.
怎么可能给你飞机造成那么大的问题
Very well, perhaps I overpacked.
好吧 可能是我东西装太多了
Beer me.
上啤酒
Pick up!
上菜
Unless that's a huge problem for you.
除非你对"上"有意见
That's it.
够了
I'm gonna tell you the same thing
我要对你说我当年
that I told Pooters
对波头鹰餐厅
when they added pants to the uniform.
要给制服加上裤子时说的话
I quit.
老娘不干了
You quit?
你不干了吗
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
不不不不不不
You're fired.
你是被炒了
Oh, yeah?
是吗
Yeah!
是的
Have I been a bad waitress?
因为我是个"坏"女服务员吗
The naughtiest.
最坏最调皮的那个
Uh, they're not gonna have sex in a restaurant, are they?
他们不会就这么在餐厅里做♥爱吧
Well, it wouldn't be the first time.
反正也不是第一次了
Hell, it wouldn't be the eighth time.
连第八次都不是了
Pick up, Oleg.
"上"菜啦 奥列格
Oh, yeah, man. This is happening.
是的 兄弟 真要开"干"啦
And that's when I married my high school sweetheart.
我就是那时候娶了我高中的女朋友
Well, she was in high school. I was .
她当时还在读高中 而我岁了
Another terrific story, Sloppy.
又一个妙极了的故事啊 邋遢哥
Almost makes me forget we have no money,
差点就让我忘了我们没钱
no clothes, and we're getting zero mileage for this flight.
没衣服 而且这趟旅程连里程数都换不到
Silver Linings Playbook, though.
塞翁失马焉知非福
Little Randy update.
小兰迪又更新了
Max, I don't care how expensive it is.
麦克斯 我不在乎要多贵
You are going to therapy when we get back.
我们回去后你必须得去做心理治疗
Well, that's a wrap on the first day of filming
我们在奥斯丁 德克萨斯州拍摄的第一天
here in Austin, Texas.
就到此结束啦
Or as they say around these parts,
或者用当地人的话来说
don't Tess with Mexas.
别德惹州人
Don't drink on a scorpion bite.
还有被蝎子蛰后别喝酒
会加速血液循环 导致毒液扩散
The man ain't wrong.
他说得没错啊
Wait, so Randy's not in Los Angeles?
等等 所以兰迪不在洛杉矶吗
He's in Texas.
他是在德州
Wow, you're a bad stalker, Max.
麦克斯 你真是个蹩脚的跟踪狂
Sloppy, hang a Ralph or a Louie.
邋遢哥 随便左转还右转
Whatever gets us to Texas.
转哪边能去德州就转哪边
Eh, there's two things that Slop won't do.
我邋遢平生有两件事不做
Alert the proper authorities of my flight pattern
告知相关单位我的飞行模式
or step foot in Texas.
以及踏进德克萨斯州
You need to make your own way there.
你们得自己去了
I'll drop you here. I gotta whiz anyway.
我在这里放你们下 我刚好也得去嘘嘘
Ah! Drop us here?
这里放我们下
Whiz? What does that mean?
嘘嘘 这是什么意思
Uh, I think it means I'm jumping out
我想他的意思是我这个月
of another plane this month.
要跳第二次机了
You know what? I miss the diner.
我想说 我好想念餐厅啊