我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst S02E05
Part 2
Oct. 14, 2020, 4:37 p.m.
So funny. Yeah.
超级搞笑 是啊
You want to help me pick up the chairs?
你能帮我收拾椅子吗
Absolutely.
当然了
Cool.
好极了
That's really great space work.
无实物表演非常棒
Um, I meant the actual chairs.
但我指的是真的椅子
Ah, of course you did.
当然了
Stupid.
我真蠢
How's work?
工作怎么样
Are you still in charge of that fake rap feud?
你还在管那个假说唱矛盾的事吗
Ugh, it's gone completely off the rails.
已经彻底失控了
Honey Nutz and Shitstain
蜜蛋和屎斯坦
wrote a dis track about how Sam has pepperoni nipples,
写了一首有关山姆有腊肠奶头的歌♥
so he told his fans to murder them in world of Warcraft.
所以他让他的粉丝在魔兽世界里杀了他俩
What have you been up to? Not a lot.
你最近忙什么 没什么
Little of this, little of that.
忙点这个 忙点那个
Shot a condom full of piping hot semen into my vaj.
往我的阴♥道♥里射了一安全套滚烫的精♥子♥
How's the cake batter?
蛋糕糊怎么样
First of all, are you okay?!
首先 你还好吗
I'm fine.
我没事
I mean, I won't be riding a horse anytime soon.
短期内我不能再骑马了
But I'm already banned from the equestrian center.
但反正我也已经被禁止进入马术中心了
And secondly, what?! Why?!
其次 什么 为什么啊
I was just so upset about Paul.
我就是因为保罗太难过了
And the idea of him shoving his ding dong
一想到他把他的丁丁
into that beer cooze's hand-pussy.
插入啤酒套妹的手中操射就难过
And Edgar's been so weird and clingy lately.
埃德加最近又很古怪 很粘人
It's like I can't think straight
那些男人塞满我的大脑
with these guys clogging up my brain!
我都没办法理智思考了
Seriously.
说真的
I spend all day dealing with my dumb rapper babies.
我一整天都在和那几个说唱熊孩子打交道
And when I get home, there's Jimmy and Edgar.
回到家时 又要面对吉米和埃德加
And then the one chance I get to sneak away
当我终于有机会溜出来
for a quick hang with the Louise to my Thelma...
让露易丝与我家希尔玛小聚时...
Who are they?
她们是谁
and all we talk about is men! I know!
我们谈论的却是男人 我也觉得
We are complex women with rich inner lives.
我们是情感丰富的复杂女性
For god's sakes, let's act like it
拜托 我们得表现出来
and discuss something other than dicks
不能再讨论那些男人的鸡♥巴♥
and the dildos they hang off of.
和假鸡♥巴♥的话题了
I'm in.
我同意
So...
那个...
So...
那个...
I know.
我想到了
There was just this really grody murder in Alabama
阿♥拉♥巴马发生一起很可怕的凶杀案
where this woman thought her kids were demons,
一个女人认为自己的孩子是恶魔
so she drowned all eight of them
于是把他们8个全都淹死了
and dressed them up like Victorian dolls.
又把他们打扮成维多利亚娃娃
Postpartum murders are so big psycho.
产后谋杀真是重大精神疾病
Maybe we can talk about powerful women?
或许我们可以聊聊女强人
like George Clooney's wife, Amal Clooney?
比如乔治·克鲁尼的妻子 阿玛尔·克鲁尼
She's both super accomplished and absolutely stunning.
她不仅才华横溢 而且美丽动人
She a'ight.
她还不错
I guess we can shit-talk women we know.
我们可以八卦一下认识的女人
That's within the rules, right? Ooh, we can?!
也是符合规则的吧 好啊 可以啊
Like Becca?
比如贝卡
Ugh, that sausage wallet.
那个香肠荷包
Sausage wallet?
"香肠"荷包
I hope she gets pregnancy 'rhoids and they leave her bedridden,
我希望她得孕妇痔疮 只能卧床不起
and I have to raise her baby myself.
我不得不养大她的孩子
I'd parent the shit out of her.
我会好好管教她女儿的
"Wear that skirt. Don't blow that boy.
"穿这条裙子 别给那个男孩跪舔
This is pizza!"
这个叫做披萨"
Time-out! Who are we?
打住 我们这是怎么了
We can't talk about men,
我们不谈论男人
so we're talking about babies, living and dead?
就只能谈论孩子吗 死的活的孩子
Weak sauce. We can do better than this!
太弱了 我们可以做到更好
Oh, you're right.
你说得没错
Men have ruined our damn minds!
男人们毁了我们的思想
Tomorrow we'll meet up for breakfast
明天我们一起吃早餐
with prepared lists of interesting, non-dude topics.
准备好一系列有趣的无男人话题
Yes!
很好
This is feminism, right?
这是女权主义 对吗
Yes, it is.
是啊 没错
You guys can't come in here anymore.
你们两个以后不许来了
Morning.
早啊
How's it going? Not great.
进展如何 不太好
There are so many moving parts to the NCIS universe.
《海军罪案调查处》系列有太多故事分支
It's quite daunting, really.
任务相当艰巨 真的
I'm sorry.
不好意思
I was thinking about something funny
我想起一些在即兴表演课上
that happened in improv class.
发生的趣事
We were all driving cars, and I said,
我们都在开车 然后我说
"Excuse me, sir, you may be a dog,
"抱歉 先生 你也许是条狗
but you're not handicapped, are you?"
但你不是个残障 不是吗"
It was a callback.
那是个联动段子
If you're interested in watching some,
如果你有兴趣去看看
I stuck the calendar on the fridge.
冰箱上贴着我的日程表
In fact, I'm going to my teacher Dorothy's show tonight.
实际上 我今晚要去看多洛希老师的表演
She's in Hey, put that down Brian! You should come.
她是"嘿 记下 布莱恩"喜剧团的 你应该来看下
Oh, that sounds really, really fun,
听起来真的相当好玩
but you know what I think I'd rather do?
但你知道我宁愿做什么吗
Stab myself in the bowels.
我宁愿切腹
Okay.
好吧
You know what I'd rather experience than long-form improv?
你知道相比沉长的即兴表演 我更希望体验什么吗
Long-form bone cancer.
晚期骨癌
Point taken. No, I don't think it is.
我明白了 不 我觉得没有
See, you just described an improvised comedy scene to me.
知道吗 你给我描述了一段即兴喜剧场景
That's worse than telling someone
那还不如跟别人
about a dream that doesn't feature them sexually.
说一段丧失性别色彩的梦
I mean, you've had some awful, awful hobbies,
你有一些很糟的业余爱好
but this is by far the worst.
但这个是目前为止最糟的
And I'm including heroin
而且我都算上吸毒了
and not knowing things are a school.
以及不知道学校什么的
I didn't know it was a school.
我当时真不知道那是学校
All right, Lindsers, I have here a list of things To talk about,
琳子 我列了一些可以谈论的话题
none of which involve stupid men.
没有一个是和臭男人有关的
First off, "Our mothers
第一个 "我们的母亲
and how their pathology messed us up."
以及她们的疾病是如何把我们坑惨的"
Maybe it's all their fault.
或许都是她们的错
Yeah. Sure.
是的 当然
But what about "Isis."
不过 "艾希斯"如何
Isis? Oh, I don't think they have those here.
艾希斯 我觉得这家店没有那东西吧
I'm talking about the Islamic state, Gretch.
我是在说伊♥斯♥兰♥国 格雷琴
They formed their own "Cellophane."
他们自己研制了"玻璃纸"
Do you think Obama has a strategy to neutralize them,
你觉得奥巴马♥会♥消灭他们吗
or will O-bummer betray America
还是奥帮主会背叛美国
like he did with Benghazi?
就像他背叛班加西一样
What the hell's going on?
你这是怎么了
You told me not to think about dicks,
你叫我不去想鸡♥巴♥的
so my brain got real bored
我的大脑感到非常无聊
and I started reading these web sites,
于是我开始阅读那些网站
and then some other web sites
然后是另外一些
that disagreed with the first web sites.
和第一批看到的意见不同的网站
Did you know about global warming?
你知道全球变暖现象吗
It's a huge threat, but at the same time
那是严重的威胁 但与此同时
is made up by a bunch of socialist lib-tards.
是一群社♥会♥主♥义♥自♥由♥党派编造出来的
My question is, who benefits?
我的问题是 受益者是谁
You have to follow the money, Gretch.
你必须重点关注资金流向 格雷琴
Big oil, the middle east.
石油巨头 中东
我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst
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