我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst S02E02
Part 2
Oct. 14, 2020, 4:34 p.m.
But not as a dependent.
但你不能当个寄生虫
I'll get stuff.
我会置办东西的
But where in your mind's eye
但你觉得
do you see me putting said stuff once I get it?
一旦我置办了那些东西 该放哪儿呢
You know, where you keep things.
就是 你平常放东西的地方啊
You mean, the three trash bags on the floor in the corner?
你是说角落里那三个垃圾袋吗
Uh-huh, Gretchen's corner.
对啊 格雷琴的角落
Fine. Look.
好吧 听着
If there's space that I'm not using
如果某些空间是我没占用的
that can't be, you know, seen,
而且是我看不到的地方
it's yours.
就属于你的了
See? There's no room for me in my own house!
瞧吧 在我自己家 都没有我的空间
Sorry, your house?
什么 你家
Fine-- our house.
好吧 我们家
When I was a kid, I'd say come over
在我小时候 我会说
and watch skin-amax and drink Zima in "My house" Or "Our house,"
来"我家"或者"我们家" 看小黄♥片♥ 喝饮料
Not "The house my parents bought."
而不是"我爸妈的家里"
Well, they should've corrected you on that.
他们当时就该纠正你的说法
Hey, guys!
嘿 伙计们
You have one job on Sundays!
你在周日只有一件事要做
- What were you thinking not being here? - One!
你怎么想的 竟然跑出去了 就一件
My fault-- I made him take me to get football costumes.
我的错 我让他带我去买♥♥橄榄球衣了
Yeah, everything's in the bloody mary drawer.
是啊 所有材料都在"血腥玛丽抽屉"里
I'll show you.
我带你看
It's super easy...
超级容易的
What's going on?
到底是怎么回事
You've never watched a sport in your life.
你这辈子都没去看过比赛啊
Gretch, I need to get over Paul.
格雷琴 我得忘掉保罗
And apparently, on Sundays,
显然 周日的时候
They have these sports bars
会有专门的球迷酒吧
Full of horny macho dumb-dumbs
满是精虫上脑的呆傻壮汉
Whose girlfriends are all at home.
他们的女朋友都在家呢
Plus wings.
而且还有鸡翅
You do love wings.
你的确很爱鸡翅
I need a bo-hunk.
我需要个头脑简单的
Paul was such a gump.
保罗就是个蠢货
Get this-- he told me the definition of love
你听听 他跟我说爱的定义就是
Is putting someone else's needs above yours.
将对方的需求置于自己的之前
Ew. I know.
好恶 我也觉得
Meanwhile, Edgar's being so nice.
与此同时呢 埃德加却对我超级好
He knows I'm hurting so he keeps doing stuff for me.
他知道我很受伤 所以不断为我做些事情
Just be careful with him, okay?
小心点对待他 好吗
Edgar, let's hit the wing place before the game starts.
埃德加 我们趁比赛开始前赶快去鸡翅店吧
Yeah. We'll ride with you.
好吧 我们搭你们的车一起去
There's a towels & stuff in that mall
那个商场里出♥售♥毛巾等生活用品
Where Gretchen can buy a toothbrush
格雷琴可以去那里买♥♥把牙刷
And other things adults own.
以及成人必备的其他用品
You're gonna help me shop?
你要帮我购物吗
Hell, no.
当然不会
I'm going for literary inspiration.
我要去寻找文学灵感
I'm not finding it here, so maybe I'll find it
我在这里找不到 所以或许我可以
Amongst the diabetic masses of the American shopper.
在庞大的美国购物者人群中找到
I'm like Thoreau,
我就跟梭罗一样
Only the mall shall be my Walden.
不过商场才是我的瓦尔登湖
Mall-den.
"商场蹲"
I would've found that eventually.
我自己原本也终会找到的
This way!
这边走
Wait!
等等
Hang out with me first.
先陪我玩一会儿嘛
What do you want to do?
你想做什么
That's your boyfriend.
那是你男朋友
That's your girlfriend.
那是你女朋友
That's your boyfriend.
那是你男朋友
Yes, he is.
没错 他就是
I love my boyfriend.
我爱我男朋友
Do you really?
真的吗
This is shit! Derivative trifle!
烂得像坨屎 没创意的东西
The composition is wretched.
构图简直糟糕至极
Tonal harmony nonexistent.
色彩完全不协调
Don't even get me started on the perspective.
远近透视这方面我就更不提了
Blue ribbon?
竟然得了蓝♥丝♥带♥最高奖
This contest is a sham.
这整个比赛就是个骗局
Oh, what next? What next?
接下来干什么 接下来干什么
Go buy your crap. I have to work now.
去买♥♥你的东西去 我得开始工作了
No whining, woman!
别哀声抱怨 女人
Let the observation...begin.
现在就开始 观察吧
And they have four chances to get said ten yards.
他们有4次机会往前推进10码
Now, before I get into some of your various offensive packages,
好了 在我说到你的各种进攻策略之前
I'm reminded of when my older brother Salazar
我突然想起我哥哥萨拉扎曾带我
Took me to see a raider game.
去看过一场奥克兰突击者队的比赛
We were so far away,
我们坐得很远
but to me, it was like being on the field.
但对我而言 就像亲身在球场上一样
And then he sold crank to a Chargers fan in the men's room
然后他在男厕卖♥♥了些廉价冰♥毒♥给一个闪电队的球迷
And we used the money to go to Applebee's.
然后我们用那个钱去苹果蜂餐厅吃了一顿
You know what I think?
你知道我是怎么想的吗
I think...
我觉得...
That's my guy.
他就是我喜欢的类型
At the bar.
吧台边的那个
Over there, with the shoulders.
就那个 缩着肩膀那个
All right, go to it.
好了 去吧
Go to what?
去什么
Go wing man for me.
去当我的僚"机"啊
Oh, okay.
好吧
How many wings should this man go get you? No.
我该去给你拿多少"鸡"翅 不是
Go talk to that cute guy for me.
去帮我找那个家伙搭讪吧
Oh, but now that you mention it,
不过既然你刚刚提到了
I could use some more wings, too.
我的确还需要一些鸡翅
Okay, here I go.
好了 我该上了
Nope.
做不到
Nope.
做不到
Nuh-uh.
不行
Can I help you find something?
需要我帮你找些什么商品吗
Puppies?
狗狗有吗
Do you have any puppies?
你们这儿有狗狗卖♥♥吗
Oh, wait...
等等
This isn't a dog store.
这不是宠物出♥售♥商店
Daisy and Mort met in Buenos Aires in 1968.
黛西和莫特1968年相识于布宜诺斯艾利斯
Daisy worked at a hat factory.
黛西在一家帽子厂工作
Mort lived as an ashkenazi jew, but really
莫特表面上是个中欧系犹太人 但实际上
He was a nazi war criminal.
他是个纳粹战争犯
No, that's dumb. Who cares?
不行 太傻♥逼♥了 谁在乎啊
Megan was just like any other 15-year-old girl.
梅根就跟其他15岁的小女孩一样
She loved social media,
她喜欢社交媒体
Hated her parents,
讨厌父母
And lived and died by the fluctuating attention from boys.
极度重视男孩们对自己的关注度
But what most people didn't know
但大多数人不知道的是
Was that Megan was actually...
梅根实际上是个...
A nazi war criminal.
纳粹战争犯
What's wrong with me?
我这是怎么了
Excuse me? Yeah?
打扰一下 什么事
Uh, your job must be tedious and bleak.
你的工作一定很无聊很令人讨厌吧
Tell me about it.
跟我说说吧
Ah, sure. Well, so far it's a sweet-ass gig.
好啊 目前我觉得这工作棒极了
I get walk around macking on hoes all day.
我整天就是在商场里瞎转转
And nobody in the food court busses their trays,
食品区也没人会把吃剩的餐盘送到回收处
So I eat like a king.
所以我可以大吃特吃
And if I don't want to chase a shoplifter, I don't.
如果我不想追扒手 我就不追
I go smoke a bowl out on the delivery bay
我会去下货区抽一管大♥麻♥
And wait for him to bail with the merch.
等着他 诱惑他乖乖交出商品
Plus, I get to work for my best friend Eric,
而且 我还是替我的好朋友埃里克工作
我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst
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