工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S06E10
Part 3
June 29, 2021, 9:02 a.m.
但是我却他妈的瞎了
but I am blind over here!
我这个治愈博士不是白叫的
Well, they don't call me Dr. Heals-good for no reason.
慢着 你真的是医生啊
Wait. Are you, like, a real doctor?
有了我最好的朋友 Chester
With my best friend, Chester,
我就可以用世间最好的药给人治病
I can heal people with the greatest medicine of all,
笑声
laughter.
我没有青霉素了
I'm out of penicillin.
太搞笑了 - 我讨厌
That was funny. - This, I hate.
Chester是谁
Who's Chester?
他是个人偶(笨蛋) - 好吧
He's a dummy, Adam. - 'Kay, Ders.
并不是每个人都是笨蛋好吗
Not everybody's dummies, okay?
我很抱歉 Chester
I'm so sorry. Chester, please.
欢迎来我们家
Welcome to our home.
这太荒谬了 好吗
This is ridiculous, okay?
我们没了黄♥片♥ 我要上易趣
We have no porno! I'm on eBay.
把<蛋蛋教授>的另一份拍下来
I'm bidding on another copy of "The Nutting Professor."
这次快件会送到办公室来
It's gonna be delivered to the office where
而且需要签名 所以没人能偷走它
it's gonna require a signature so no one can steal it.
我记得那部电影
I remember that movie.
"快用力 快用力"
"Jerk it, please! Jerk it please!"
我不敢相信
I mean I can't believe
医生说我只是暂时失明一星期
the doctor says I'm only gonna be blind for a week.
糟透了
It sucks, dude,
因为我只能这样泡妞了
because I could totally get chicks like this, right?
像这样 "怎么了 兄弟
Like, "Hey. What's up, bro?
不好意思 你是女的
Oh. Oh, sorry. You're a girl.
这是你的咪♥咪♥"
These are your boobs."
你能不能别在我面前
Yeah, can you... can you not squeeze
掐那对你想像中的完美大胸
perfect large air breasts in front of me, man?
我查查什么时候才能收到包裹
When am I gonna get this package?
通知快出来
Give me a notification, baby. Come on.
我想怎么玩就怎么玩 Ders
I'll play with her boobs all I want, Ders.
你为什么不在鸡鸡上绑橡皮筋
Why don't you just tie a rubber band around your ding-dong?
什么 - 对呀
What? - Yeah.
这样的话 你就不会射了
That way, you can't ejack.
你知道吗 - 什么
You know what? - What?
我敢打赌 我会拥有超能力
I bet I'm gonna have, like, superhero powers.
我的其他感官会变得更敏锐 是吧
Like, my other senses are gonna be more on blast, right?
就像夜魔侠或是类似的英雄
Like Daredevil or something.
伙计们
Hey, guys.
Ders 我听见Jillian的声音了
Ders, I heard Jillian,
清晰地从办公室那边飘了过来
like, clear as day from across the office.
对 她人就在这里 穿着裙子
Yeah, she's right here in a skirt.
闭嘴 我闻到了
Shut up. I smell it.
她在吃东西
She's eating something.
好像是
It's like...
好像是葡萄 或者是
It's, like, grapes or, like,
花生酱 或者是花生酱葡萄
peanut butter or... like, peanut buttery grapes or, like...
不 这是
Oh, no. That's...
我的天 - Adam 你没事吧
No! Oh, Jesus Christ. - Adam, are you okay?
没事吧
You okay?
没错 是她没错
Okay. Yes. She's right here.
是Jillian - 对啊
That's Jillian. - Yeah, no.
很抱歉 那味道
Sorry about the stink, though.
是我腋窝 - 对 发臭了
It's my pits. - Yes. They reek.
味道真的很难闻 - 是啊
Yeah. They're really bad. - Yeah.
热水器出故障了
Hot water's on the fritz,
所以我用饮水器简单擦洗了下小妹妹和腋窝
so I'm using the drinking fountain to take whore's baths.
擦洗哈 你在干什么
Whore's bath. What are you doing?
你在对我做什么
What are you doing to me?
我只能这么做了
I'm just gonna do the whole... yup.
你在干什么
What are you... oh.
搞定
And... Yeah.
伙计们
Guys.
快出来 去停车场
Come out to the parking lot.
包裹在那里
The package is here.
什么 - 快走
What? - Come on.
我并没有收到通知
I didn't get a notification.
什么包裹
The packages?
这是怎么回事 包裹在哪里
What's going on? Where's the package?
你是什么意思 就在这里啊
What do you mean? Right here.
海扁侠团队的最新成员 炸♥药♥包
Newest member of the Beat-Ass squad, The Total Package.
好吧 哥们 你知道吗
Oh, okay. Dude, you know what?
就一个问题 你知道我想揍扁你吗
One question. Do you want me to bust on you?
不要 - 我要揍扁你
No. - I will bust on you!
别揍我 - 别揍他
Don't bust on me. - Do not bust on him!
你怎么了
What is wrong with you?
来看看 炸♥药♥包
Check it out. Total Package.
爆破专家 - 别说这个词儿
Explosives expert. - Don't say explosive.
他要做个小小的演示
Well, he's got a little demonstration.
好了
All right.
我已经把这些罗马焰火筒
So I've laced these roman candles
装满了浓缩火♥药♥
with concentrated gun powder
能把这垃圾桶炸出洞来
so they'll blow holes in this dumpster.
来吧 哥们
Oh, come on, dude.
我爱这玩意 - 站远点
I love this. - Stand back.
我要是看得见那该有多好
I would if I could see it.
好的 来了 - 你要干吗
Oh, yeah. There it is. - Whoa, what are you... hey.
你曾经把垃圾桶炸出洞来了吗
You ever blow a hole in the dumpster?
那玩意炸死过人吗 哥们 你炸死过人吗
Did it kill someone, dude? Did you kill someone, dude?
可能我装错导火线了
Maybe I did the fuse wrong.
可能就是因为这个原因你才装上刀锋腿的
Is this, by any chance, how you got your blade legs?
这家伙有刀锋腿
This guy has blade legs?
我是在阿富汗失去双腿的 哥们
I lost my legs in Afghanistan, bro.
呃 不好意思
That... yeah. Sorry. Cool.
谢谢你为国效命 - 嗯
Thank you for your service. - Yeah.
我在Kenny Chesney劳军演出时燃放焰火
Setting off fireworks at a Kenny Chesney USO show.
美国乡村歌♥手
好样的 - 非常酷
Good for you. - That's cool.
我的手♥机♥在震 - 快接啊
Phone's on vibrate. - Answer it.
哥们 我们的包裹到了 - 加把劲儿
Dude, we have a pact. - Oh, get me there.
别动 - 快加把劲儿
Stop. Will you... - Ooh, get me there.
别动 别 别
Stop it! No, no!
哥们 你太硬了
Oh, dude. You're hard in there.
当然硬了 把手♥机♥给我
Yeah. Of course I am. Give me that.
包裹到了
The package is here.
不是吧
Oh, no.
棒极了
That's awesome.
慢着 什么"不是吧"
Wait. Why "Uh-oh"?
猜猜谁签收了包裹
Guess who just signed for it?
这是什么呀 那不是我们的录影带
Dude, what the heck? That's not our tape.
那是台电视 - 两者都是
That's a TV. - It's both.
实际上 它既是电视也是录影带
Actually, it's a TV/VCR and the tape.
录影带插在里面
The tape's stuck inside.
是个一体机
It's a combo thing.
原来这样 不要
Oh, okay, okay. Oh, no.
不要 她正往缝里看
No. She's looking in the slot.
我可不介意往她"缝"里看
I wouldn't mind looking in her slot.
我们得赶在她发现之前把东西弄出去
We got to get it out of there before she busts us.
慢着 你在干吗
Wait, what are you doing?
你想干吗
What are you...
Alice Murphy
Alice Murphy.
我往你的办公室寄了一个炸♥弹♥
I have had a bomb delivered to your office.
装在了一台90年代的电视录像一体机里
It's inside of a TV/VCR from the '90s,
如果你现在不滚出你的办公室
and unless you get out now,
你就等着死吧 婊♥子♥ - 哦 我的天啊
you're gonna die, bitch! - Oh, my God.
我的天啊 大家快跑
Oh, my God, everyone!
办公室里有炸♥弹♥
There's a bomb in the office!
所有人现在都快疏散到停车场去
Everyone get into the parking lot now!
走 大家快走 - 这根本就不对头啊
Go! Everyone go! - That doesn't make sense.
怎么会有人寄 - 有炸♥弹♥啊
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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