工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S06E09
Part 3
June 29, 2021, 9:02 a.m.
一定不要告诉我 好吗
Actually, don't you ever tell me, all right?
放进去 随便哪里都可以的
Put it back in the deck, anywhere in the deck.
现在魔力Carl要去舞台一侧
Now Magic Carl is gonna go to the other side of the stage,
我去另一侧
and I'm gonna go to the other other side of the stage
想象一下牌
and visualize the card.
请确保我的助手 魔力Carl
Now, please, please make sure that my assistant, Magic Carl,
把牌放得很远很远
is placing that deck very, very far away.
吸引注意力 吸引注意力
Distract 'em. Distract 'em.
我正在想象
Okay, so I'm just visualizing.
这里什么都看不到
Nothing to see, really, over here.
我只是在思考 想象 很无聊
It's just me thinking, visualizing, boring.
什么 好吧 - 喔
And what... okay. - Whoa!
你在干什么啊
Okay, whoa. What are you doing?
你在干什么
What are you... What are you doing?
我觉得该这样做 好吗
I'm just doing what feels right, okay?
不该 请你把裤子穿好
This is not right. Please put your pants back on.
天啊 好吧 - 家庭秀
God, fine! - Family show.
这里没小孩吧 对吗
There's no kids here, is there?
我只是说
Well, I'm just saying...
就没有孩子
There's no kids here.
好吧 停
All right, stop.
这是我最好的裤子
These are my best pants.
我皮带毁了 太好了
I'm ruining my belt now. Great.
但是她很性感
But she is sexy.
24点 你下注
24, your bet.
我没钱了
I don't have any money left.
我想我得走了
I guess I should go.
什么 别走啊
What? No, don't do that.
我送你去ATM机
I will walk you to the ATM.
只有三英里远
It's about three miles away.
我们走吧
We should get going.
这戒指值五千美元
I mean, this ring is worth 5,000.
我能赌这个吗
Can I gamble that?
可以
Yes, you can.
不 五千美元 我们不能
No, no, no, no. $5,000? We can't...
DeMamp老板 请速到后屋来
Pit boss DeMamp, please get to the back of the house now.
好的 我马上就来 老板
Yes, and I will definitely be right there, boss.
Tang 我能看看你的鞋子吗
Tang, can I see your shoe?
Adam 我们受不起那注
Adam, we cannot handle that bet.
别让她下注
Do not take that bet.
Adam
Adam!
我想象了这张
And I visualized this.
红桃Q 是吧
Queen of hearts, what do you say?
Waymond 是你的牌吗
Waymond, is that your card?
不是
No?
好吧 一定是弄混了
Okay, there had to be a mix-up somewhere...
嘿呀
Hiyah!
这是我的秀了 宝贝
This is my show now, baby.
他们想看我的屌♥
They want to see my dick.
甩起来
Helicopter your wang!
好的 兄弟 我就想这么做
Got it, buddy. That's all I want to do.
停下 伙计 下一个节目 Carl 进去
Stop, guys. Next trick. Carl, get in the box.
你自己进去
No, you get in the box, man.
大屌♥秀正如火如荼
This puppetry of the penis, it's so hot right now.
他们很喜欢 很喜欢
They love it! They love it.
请你去箱子里
If you could just please get in the box.
你自己进去 - 别这样
You get in the box. - Don't do that!
进箱子 魔力Blake 进去 魔力Blake
Get in the box, Magic Blake. Get in the box, Magic Blake.
Carl 停下 这是我的秀
Carl, stop! Please, this is my show!
喔 - 求你了
Whoo! - Please!
嘘 - 求你们别怂恿他了
Shh. - Stop encouraging him, please.
他在哪儿 这不在节目范围内
Where is he? This is not part of the show.
求你了 你在哪儿 Carl
Please, where are you, Carl?
那是什么东西
What was that?
好吧 我弄完了
Okay, I'm done.
你可以表演下一个节目了
You can do your next trick now.
交还给你 魔力Blake
And back to Magic Blake.
我要杀了你 这个傻屌♥
I'm gonna kill you, you stupid idiot.
我要杀了你 我要杀了你
I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna kill you.
这不是魔术 - 对不起
That's not magic. - I'm sorry.
我要把你屌♥切了
I'll cut your freaking dick off, then.
我眼睛痒
My eye itches.
女士们 先生们
Ladies and gentlemen,
我们中场休息五分钟
we're gonna take a short five-minute intermission.
为什么会痒 流血了吗
Why does it itch? Is it bleeding?
流血了吗 - 没事
Is it bleeding? - It's fine.
你为什么那么做
Why did you do that?
我需要检查一下这枚戒指
I just need to verify the authenticity of this ring.
好吧 是真的
Yup, that's real.
真的很硬
That is very hard.
把我牙齿都咬痛了
Actually hurt my tooth a little bit.
Diane 你能给这位小天使一些筹码吗
Diane, would you mind getting this angel some chips?
换五千 - 喔
Changing 5,000. - Whoo!
花完了 兄弟 - Adam 不要
Spend up, guys. - Adam, don't.
我们没法还的
We can't cover that.
Ders 信信数学 好吗
Ders, just trust the math, okay?
你知道的 庄家总是赢
As you know, the house always wins.
二十一点
Blackjack.
天啊
Oh, my God!
这是我这周最开心的时刻了
Well, that's the most fun I've had all week.
不介意的话 我现在就兑现 伙计
I'll cash out now, fellas, if you don't mind.
我就知道数学是骗人的
I always knew math was a hoax.
我们拿不出那么多钱
So we don't have it, your money,
不过我们可以先兑现一半
but we could probably cover half.
一半 不好意思
Half? I'm sorry.
游戏可不是这么玩的
That's not how this sort of thing works.
另一半我们给你打欠条 还有礼品抵值哦
We can cover the other half with IOUs and prizes.
你去过芝士火锅店吗
Have you ever been to a fondue restaurant?
我们每周日都带你去吃 去整整一个月
We'll take you to one every Sunday for a month.
叫熔炉火锅的那家 你去过吗
The Melting Pot, have you been there?
她当然去过了 我们十三周年结婚纪念日就在那儿庆祝的
Of course she has, for our 13th wedding anniversary.
嗨 亲爱的 工作顺利吗
Hi, honey, how was work?
还不赖 宝贝
Not bad, babe.
这什么情况
What is happening right now?
你认识Laura
You know Laura?
当然 自己老婆还不认识么
Of course I do. She's my wife.
这几个废物欠了我们五千块
These ass wipes owe us 5 grand.
是嘛
Is that right?
确实是 但是我们真拿不出五千
We do, but 5 grand, we can't pay that.
我们没有那么多
We don't have that.
这么多我们真没有
We don't have that kind of money.
严格意义上说 你们有
Technically, you do.
你们有这房♥子
You got this house.
除非给我凑齐五千块
You want your house back,
否则别想要回你们的房♥子了
you give me my 5 grand.
拿不出钱 就赶紧滚出我的新赌场
Till then, get the out of my new casino.
真是没人性
Well, that was a disaster.
魔力Carl刚刚性侵了我的脸
Magic Carl just sexually assaulted my face.
对
Yeah.
噢 你好
Oh, hello.
我们好像没见过
I don't believe we've met.
我是魔力Blake 赌场驻演
I'm Magic Blake, in-house entertainment.
幸会
Pleasure.
我讨厌睡地板
I hate sleeping on the floor.
才睡了大概七个小时
Only slept for, like, seven hours or something.
这都归功于Adam
You can thank Adam for that
接受了世界上最蠢的赌注
and for taking the world's dumbest bet.
你以为赌注限额是摆设
There's table limits for a reason.
你看你 又来这套
And there it is right there, classic Ders:
事后推卸责任 光顾着打飞机
passing the blame when you're too busy smacking off
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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