巴克叔叔（2016）

不
No. Hyah!
用空手道
With karate.
你知道如果你打算对谁用这招
You know if you try using that against somebody,
人家会对你开枪的
they'll just shoot you.
别侮辱我了
No more insults.
来吧
Bring it.
拜托 我还有作业
Please. I have homework.
为什么 你已经在胆怯方面拿了个优了
Why? You already have an "A" in cowardice.
舞动起来吧
Let's dance!
这个洞之前就有了 对吧
That hole was there before, right?
大家好
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
我女儿在卖♥♥童子军饼干
My daughter's selling Sunny Scout cookies.
我把你们最爱的口味都带来了
I got all your favorites here.
我这里有枫糖口味 芝士口味 双面花生酱
I got S'maples, Cheenos, Peanut Butter Up and Down.
来吧 谁打算买♥♥第一盒呢
Who's gonna get the first box? Come on.
没人要吗
Nobody?
抱歉 我们的钱都花完了
Sorry, we're already tapped out.
所以你们不打算帮我吗
So you're not gonna help me out?
你们小孩卖♥♥的每样破东西 我都会买♥♥
And I buy every crappy thing your kids are selling.
拜托 莫里斯
Come on, Morris.
我买♥♥过你家小孩的光明节痒痒挠
I bought that Hanukah back-scratcher from your kid,
犹太教节日
而你都不算是犹太人呢
and you're barely Jewish.
怎么搞的啊
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
老板来了大家也不用
Just because the boss comes in
这样愁眉苦脸吧
doesn't mean everybody has to stop having fun.
不过我的确喜欢安静 谢谢你们了
I do like a quiet space, though. Thank you.
威尔 我女儿刚刚加入了童子军
Will, my daughter just joined the scouts,
卖♥♥饼干
and we're selling cookies.
大家都特别慷慨
Everybody's been super generous.
别有压力
No pressure.
没问题 唐
Yeah, sure, Don.
你刚从体育馆回来么
Just come from the gym?
是啊
Yep.
我们该怎么办
What are we gonna do?
什么我们 那个洞就是一个屁♥股♥坐出来的
We? There's only one butt that fits in that hole.
就是你的 灰姑娘
And it's yours, Cinderella.
- 祝你好运 - 别想走
- Good luck. - Oh, no.
要是我遭殃了 也要拉你下水
If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me.
事实上 我很乐意
In fact, it will be a pleasure
摘掉你"完美女儿"的光环
to take the shine off your perfect daughter crown.
想都别想
Don't even.
这周末我还要去演唱会呢
I've got concert tickets this weekend.
我这周末又没安排
I have nothing this weekend.
所以我现在就去告诉爸爸了
So I can go to Dad right now.
好吧 好吧 我们来商榷一下
Okay, okay, maybe we can work out a little detente here.
没问题 那是什么意思
Absolutely. What is that?
意思是咱俩来想想办法 笨蛋
It means we're gonna work together, dummy.
听着 我们自己处理好这件事
Look, we'll fix this ourselves.
我去车♥库♥里拿些补墙腻子
I'm gonna go to the garage and get some Spackle,
你看好这个洞
and you guard the hole.
我让你看好这个洞 这是怎么回事
I told you to guard the hole! What happened?
我只是想把边缘清理干净
I was just cleaning up the edges!
你看
Look!
饼干 来点饼干吧
Cookies. Got them cookies.
您要买♥♥点饼干吗
Would you like some cookies?
这个地方根本不行
This spot ain't working.
我们应该去乡村俱乐部门口卖♥♥
We should set up outside a country club,
利用那些白人的内疚感
tug on some of that white guilt.
只是饼干罢了 巴克
They're just cookies, Buck.
不用这么政♥治♥化了
We don't need to get all political.
她在这里卖♥♥得挺好的
She's fine selling right here.
你是说躲在桌子下面吗
You mean right here under the table?
麦琪
Maizy!
宝贝 出来 出来吧
Honey, come out. Come on.
太奇怪了
This is getting weird.
妈咪 我们不能直接买♥♥下那个猎豹项链吗
Mommy, can we just buy the cheetah necklace?
不行 宝贝
No, baby.
我知道这很难 但是很重要
I know this is hard, but it's important.
如果你按照规矩来
If you follow the rules and just do this,
很快就能卖♥♥完的
you'll be better off for it.
好吗
Okay?
看到没 你看那个小姑娘
See? Look at that little girl.
她就在昂首直面
She faces her own challenges,
自己遇到的挑战
but she does it with her head held high.
是啊 她走起路来也是昂首挺胸的
Yeah, she walks with her head held high, too.
你瞧
Look.
她没有按照规矩来
She's not following the rules.
她作弊了
She's a cheater!
我们得过去质问她们
We need to go over there and confront them right now.
祝你好运 妈咪
Good luck, Mommy.
嘿 女士 我知道你看见我了
Hey, lady, I know you see me!
好大的胆子
Oh, no, she didn't!
天啊
Oh, God.
这太不公平了
This is so unfair.
是啊 是不公平
Yeah. It is unfair.
我要给你上一课 这是你妈妈从未告诉过你的
I'm gonna teach you a lesson your mama never taught you.
别讨厌那些耍花招的人
Don't hate the hustler.
要自己想个更好的花招
Get a better hustle.
听好了 卖♥♥掉这些饼干的关键
Now, the key to moving these cookies
在于要会运营
is to build your operation.
运营
Operation?
我给你细细说明一下
Let me break it down for you.
你是这个紫色独角兽
You're the purple unicorn.
我是这个戴礼帽的章鱼
I'm the octopus with the top hat.
可是紫色独角兽非得跟大人们说话吗
But does the purple unicorn have to talk to adults?
当然不用了 我知道你害羞
No. I know you're shy.
所以你要招募你的手下
That's why you hire your crew,
这样你自己就不用碰饼干了
so you don't get any cookie crumbs on your fingers.
现在 我们去给你找手下吧
Now, let's go get you a crew.
我们得来真的了
We in the game now.
首先 如果你想要最好的手下
First thing, if you want the best people,
你得给他们点好处
you need to be a provider.
嘿 姑娘们
Hey, girls!
你们看 糖果
Look! Candy!
大家都来拿点
Here, everybody, take some.
接着 一旦有成效了
Then, once you've paid off your people,
你要去找那个矜持的人
you look for the one that's holding out.
给你
Here.
找那个人当你的打手
Make that one your muscle
因为他们明白谁是老大
'cause they know what's up.
然后你去找一个地方
Then you find a place.
比如一个房♥间或者车♥库♥
You know, like a room or a garage
可以放货的地方
where you can keep your product.
我们可以叫它饼干屋
We'll call it a cookie house.
下一步 你需要让大伙知道
Next, you want people to know
你的货是城里最好的
you've got the best stuff in town,
所以你给他们免费样品
so you give 'em a sample at no charge.
就叫 免费品尝吧
Call it a free taste.
成功了吧 独角兽
It's all happening, unicorn.
都是你的功劳
And it's all yours.
太不可思议了
This is amazing.
我什么时候能拿到猎豹项链呢
When do I get my cheetah necklace?
首先你掌握了饼干
Well, first you get the cookies.
就掌握了权力
Then you get the power.
然后就能得到猎豹项链了
Then you get the cheetah necklace.
嘿 甜心
Hey, sweetie.
妈妈很抱歉 工作太忙了
Mommy's so sorry she's been so busy at work.
你跟巴克叔叔卖♥♥饼干还顺利吗
How are the cookie sales going with Uncle Buck?
- 很好 - 太棒了
- Good. - Fantastic.
那你是不是 跟成年人打交道更顺畅了呢