巴克叔叔（2016）

巴克巴克
Buck, Buck
掌声献给 巴克·罗素
Give it up for Buck Russell!
和新的啤酒罐金字塔之王
And the new king of the beer can pyramids!
谢了 塞勒
Thanks, Cy.
朋友们 梦想是会成真的
My friends, dreams do come true.
我成为金字塔之王 就是证明
And I got this big-ass beer pyramid to prove it!
君王万岁
Hail to the King!
大伙安静一下 是我未婚妻的电♥话♥
Everybody, quiet. It's my fiancée.
嘿 小妞
Hey, boo.
工作找得怎么样了
How's the job search going?
情况非常好
Oh, real good.
我受了很多引导 认识了很多人
A... A... A lot of leads, a lot of contacts.
情况一切都好
I... It's going real good, yeah.
所以你没在酒吧 建啤酒罐金字塔 是吗
Oh, so you're not at the bar building a pyramid of beer cans?
你说的罪名 也太具体了吧
That's a highly specific accusation.
你怎么会这么想呢
Where'd you get that idea?
我的皇后来啦
My queen!
巴克舅舅 第一季第一集
我就说怎么闻到 织物柔软剂的味道
I knew I smelled fabric softener.
宝贝 你应该收拾
Baby, you're supposed to be
准备去机场了
getting ready to go to the airport,
而不是重新叠 伊莲娜叠过的毛巾呀
not re-folding towels that Irena already folded.
你还烫衣服呢
And you're ironing.
所以 要不下次 我再听你演讲吧
So, should we go over your speech another time?
你同时还在工作啊
And you're working?
嘿 罗素先生
Hey, Mr. Russell.
- 再见 艾米 - 别挂
- Goodbye, Amy. - No!
亚历克西斯 你不能这样下去了
Alexis, you got to stop doing this.
你的多任务处理系统
There's multitasking
最后会变成 依靠兴♥奋♥剂♥过活的
and then there's meth-head-tasking.
我知道这很疯狂
I know, it's crazy.
但我们搬了家 我还换了新工作
But with the move and my new job,
我是说 事态已经有些 不受控制了
I mean, things are a little out of control around here,
我只是想
and I just wanted to
在走之前 打理好些事情而已
get a handle on a few things before I leave.
你知道以前同事 给我起的外号♥吧
You know my nickname at work, right?
- 修正者 - 没错啊
- The Fixer. - That's right.
当设计有问题的时候 我会修正一切
There's a problem with a design, I fix it.
我就是建筑界的迈克尔·克莱顿
I'm the Michael Clayton of architects.
美国著名畅销书作家和影视导演 制片人
所以我才聘请了 女管家来帮你
That's why I hired this housekeeper to help you.
但是你得先接受这一切
But you've got to let it work.
让修正者
Let The Fixer...
修正一切吧
fix it.
迈尔斯 麦琪 不要再打伊莲娜了
Miles, Maizy, stop shooting Irena!
你们能小声点吗 我们在学习呢
Can you guys keep it down?! We're trying to study.
除了你 还有谁
Who's "We"?
你们好啊 罗素先生和罗素太太
What's up, Mr. And Mrs. Russell?
好吧 修正者 交给你了
Okay, Fixer, fix that.
伊莲娜 至少过完这周吧
Oh, Irena, at least stay until the end of the weekend.
我和威尔都要出城啊
Will and I are both going out of town.
我待不下去了
I can't stay here!
你的孩子们真是...
Your children are...
一群恐♥怖♥分♥子♥
terrorists!
你们俩在想什么啊
What were you two thinking?
我们在测试她
We were testing her
是否有能力照顾我们
to see if she's worthy of taking care of us.
而且如果我们是恐♥怖♥分♥子♥
And if we had been real terrorists,
我们现在一定死了
we'd all be dead by now.
或者在绑♥架♥人♥质♥哟
Or taken hostage.
够了
That's it.
你不许看卡♥通♥频道了
No more CNN for you.
现在都上楼 你们都被禁足了
Now, go upstairs. You're both grounded.
你回来 蒂娅
Come back here, Tia.
那个小子 在你屋里做什么
What the hell was that boy doing in your room?
亲爱的 我觉得这是
Honey, I think this is
专属母女间的谈话内容了
mother-daughter territory,
而且大吼不会有用的
and yelling is not gonna help.
好吧 但那也不算大吼吧
Fine, but that was hardly yelling.
我功力才发挥到第二级诶
Like level two.
蒂娅 我们没有生气
Titi, we're not mad at you.
但我们也不是很喜欢乔丹
But we're not fans of Jordan.
虽然他是高年级学生 篮球也打得好
He's a senior, and he's a bit of a player.
而且他之前在你朋友
And wasn't he the guy that drew a penis
盖里的额头上 画过小♥弟♥弟♥吧
on your friend Gary's forehead?
其实他很不错的 我在辅♥导♥他学习
He's actually nice. I've been tutoring him.
这个辅♥导♥对乔丹来说
Tutoring means something
并不是那个意思
completely different to Jordan,
而且我不想让他 教你如何早孕
and I don't want him tutoring you into an early pregnancy.
我真不敢相信
I can't believe this!
你先是把我从 亚特兰大弄到了芝加哥
First you move me from Atlanta to Chicago,
让我与朋友们相隔两地
away from my friends.
现在有个酷帅男生喜欢我
And now when a cool guy likes me,
而且他还不是机器人俱乐部的
one that isn't in the robotics club,
而你到这里五分钟 就决定要毁掉一切了
you decide to ruin it in the five minutes you're actually here.
你也太逊了吧
This sucks!
给她来个 第五级的怒吼
Give her level five.
没问题 你不许对妈妈 这样没有礼貌
On it. You don't disrespect your mother that way.
你也被禁足了 回房♥间去
Oh, you're grounded, too. Go to your room.
所有人都被禁足了
Everybody's grounded!
这个世界都被禁足了
The world is grounded!
还有什么 需要修正吗
Need anything else fixed?
有啊 需要有人 这周帮忙看孩子
Yeah. Someone to watch the kids this weekend.
你要干嘛啊
What is this about?
你想怎么样啊
What is this about?
是你说要找工作的 巴克
You said you were gonna look for a job, Buck.
我找到了啊
I got one.
我是君王哟
I'm the king.
这里面有人啊
Someone's in here.
没人在和你说话
No one is talking to you.
听着 巴克拜托了 你好好听我说啊
Look, Buck, please, you need to listen to me.
我是想好好听你说 但很难集中注意力嘛
I'm trying to listen to you, but it's hard to focus,
看到你火♥辣♥的大腿 我的脑子 都过圣诞去了
'cause your juicy ham got me thinking of Christmas.
真的吗 天啊
Really? Oh, my God.
够了
Stop it!
听着 你得成熟点好吗
Look! You need to grow your ass up.
所以听着 接下来是你 要做的事情
So listen to me. This is what you're gonna do.
你今晚得过来吃饭
You're gonna come to dinner tonight,
然后我父亲会邀请你
and my daddy is gonna offer
- 去他的一家店上班 - 不 我...
- you a job at one of his stores... - No. I...
并且你要 同意他的邀请
and you are going to take it.
我才不想去卖♥♥塑身裤呢
I don't want to work at no Spanx store!
那里不卖♥♥塑身裤 那里卖♥♥男士塑形衣
It's not Spanx, it's men's shapewear.
好吧 但我不想接受这份工作 杰基
Okay, well, it's not for me, Jackie, okay?
我是一个自♥由♥的人
I'm a free spirit.
你得放手 让我翱翔呀
You need to let me fly.
我一半是小鹰 一半是大鹰 我就是老鹰啊
I'm part hawk, part eagle. I'm a heagle.
说真的 伙计们 我没办法集中了
Seriously, guys, I can't focus.
闭嘴
Shut up!
那我提醒一下"老鹰先生" 他住在我爸爸
May I remind "The Heagle" That he is living with me
买♥♥的高级公♥寓♥里
in the condo that my daddy bought
而且还喜欢 我父亲创造的"脏物"
and he is enjoying the booty that my daddy created.
所以如果他希望 一切都能照旧
So if he wants that to continue,
那他最好 今晚来吃饭
then he better show up tonight.
我就只听到 "脏物"了
All I heard was "Booty."
记得要来 巴克
Just be there, Buck.
好了
Okay.
哈里森一家不能看孩子
The Harrisons can't watch the kids.
他们在圣达非 进行果汁排毒呢
They're on a juice cleanse in Santa Fe.
美国新墨西哥州的州府
我们需要更多黑人朋友了
We need more black friends.
这都是我的错