巴克叔叔（2016）

Uncle Buck, we need your help.
是啊 妈妈对假唱这事都走火入魔了
Yeah, mom's gone lip-sync crazy,
我们得趁她搞死我们之前 赶紧跑掉
and we need to get out of it before she kills us.
我的小细腿真的受不了了
My tiny legs just can't take it.
你退出过很多事情 能不能给点意见
You've quit a lot of things. What's your advice here?
别让她伤心 你们不想伤害自己的家人
Don't let her down. You don't want to hurt your family.
还真没想到他能这么说
Didn't see that coming.
这件事对于你妈妈来说很重要
It's important to your mom,
所以对于你们来说 也很重要
so it should be important to you.
别毁了她的乐高玩具
Don't bust up her legos,
否则有一天 她也会毁了你的三明治
or one day she'll murder your sandwich.
什么
What?
好吧 虽然最后这几句有点胡言乱语
Okay, got a little crazy at the end,
但是他前面说的那几句倒是有道理
but the first part made a lot of sense.
虽然我们讨厌这件事
As much as we hate it,
但是我们为了妈妈 一定要做好
we've got to do this for mom.
来吧 罗素小队 穿上这些衣服
Okay, team Russell. Squeeze into these costumes,
我们要练习这段机械舞 直到练对为止
and we're gonna do the robot until we get it right.
开始吧
Let's go.
我都要留下心理阴影了
This is going to scar me.
哥们 你还好吗
Hey. What up, brother?
天啊 我都感觉到那东西带着风呢
Whew! I felt the wind go by on that one.
哥们 听着 你应该和我发火
Hey, look, man. You got a right to be mad.
我有几件事情想向你道歉
And I got a few things I want to apologize for.
我还列了个单子呢
I got a little list, too.
我不该毁了你摆的乐高玩具
Sorry about those legos.
我不应该在
Sorry I hid weed
你参加科技大会的火山里 埋杂草
in your science-fair volcano.
我不应该把你的 弹力强人阿姆斯特朗打结
And sorry that I tied a knot in your Stretch Armstrong.
他是个厉害的运动员 你却让他
He was a proud athlete, and you made him...
对着自己干那种事
Do things to himself.
威尔 我想说
Look, Will. Man, uh...
从小的时候开始
Ever since we was kids,
你就一直在做一些高端的事情 我都没法参与
you've been doing smart stuff and never included me.
我只能通过那种办法参与
So I included myself.
巴克我从来不知道这事
Oh, Buck. I never knew that.
你为什么之前不说呢
Yeah. Why didn't you ever say anything?
因为我一动感情 就停不下来
'cause feelings make me feel feelings.
我不想那样
And I don't like that.
我从来没想让你觉得不如我
I never meant to make you feel "Less than."
哥们 我爱你
I love you, bro.
感情太丰富了
More feelings.
反弹
Oh, back at you.
不用担心戴安的事了
And don't worry about Diane,
我马上就把她甩了
'cause I'm gonna dump her ass immediately.
什么 你不能这么做
What? You cannot do that.
我再也不会给她打电♥话♥了 没人会受伤
Well, I'll never call her back. Won't nobody get hurt.
不 巴克这样会让事情变糟
No, Buck. That'll make it worse.
你要处理得当
You got to do this thing elegantly
尽量减轻后果
and with minimal repercussions.
这就有点困难了
It's gonna be tough,
因为我最喜欢后果严重的事情了
'cause repercussions is kind of my jam.
我喜欢相安无事
Well, smoothing things out is mine.
那我们还是按照威尔的风格处理这事吧
So we're gonna do this Will-style.
好吧 我需要哭两下吗
Okay. Do I have to cry?
也可以
You might.
孩子们 把手♥机♥交出来吧
Okay, guys, hand over the cellphones.
谢谢
Thank you.
你加入了邪教之后 他们也这么干
This is what happens when you join a cult.
你们觉得霍莉一家是不是在那边
Do you think Holly's family is over there
和詹妮玩游戏 照自♥拍♥呢
playing ooga jump or snapchatting with Janine?
我觉得他们不认识詹妮
I don't think they know Janine.
你们要为假唱比赛做好准备了
You need to be prepping your lips to sync!
你好啊
Hey, hey, hey.
你和戴安怎么样 没什么麻烦吧
Hey. How did it go with Diane? Was it bad?
事情出现了转折
It kind of took a turn.
我去给你们拿点喝的
Hey. I'll go grab us some drinks.
威尔
Will.
这就是我说的转折
That's the turn.
- 发生什么了 - 哥们 我也说不清楚
- What happened? - I don't know, man.
我努力按照你的方式去做了
I tried to do it exactly like you.
戴安 你懂的 你是个好女孩
You know, Diane, you are a superb gal.
我们都有感情 有情感
And we both have feelings and emotions
都很感性
and emotional feelings...
建筑师的风格
Architecture.
- 然后我们就嘿嘿了 - 我有两个问题
- And then we did it. - Two questions.
第一 你为什么认为我有英国口音
First, why do you think I have a British accent?
我听你说话就是这个感觉
That's just how you sound to me.
你就像黑人版的欢乐一家亲
You're like black Frasier.
那你们为什么又嘿嘿了
And why did you sleep with her again?
最开始 我是你
I was being you,
但是后来 我又变成我自己了
and then I was being me.
我希望我们都能认真听着
Well, I hope we're finally listening.
冠军们 快速回答我一个问题
Well, I have a quick question for you, winners.
百分之九十九和百分之百的区别是什么
What is the difference between 100% and 99%?
根本就没有百分之九十九这回事
There's no such thing as 99%.
过去的那周都做什么了
Now, where was that all week?
如果你们今晚不给我好好表现 我发誓
If you don't bring it tonight, I swear to god.
闪开
Get out of my way.
只有魔鬼才会让她的孩子带着高帽
Only a monster would make her children dress up in top hats.
距离我上大学还有920天
920 days until I leave for college
到时候我就再也不用见到她了 永远不见
and never have to see her again. Ever.
来吧 孩子们 你们准备好了吗
All right. Ready, you guys?
我们要怎么办 你得救我
What are we gonna do? You got to get me out of this.
我要救你
I got to get you out of this?
我都不知道你卷进什么事了
I don't even know why you got involved.
我都是随心所欲的
The heart wants what it wants.
我不确定随心所欲 就能把现在的问题解决了
I'm not sure it was your heart driving the train here.
威尔 我不能和这个女的结婚 她特别自私
But, Will, I can't marry that woman. She's a selfish lover.
放松点 我们会有办法的 我正在
Calm down. We'll figure it out. But I'm trying
我把喝的拿回来了
Well, I acquired us some drinks,
但是我警告你们 这杯酒
but I warn you, this punch
就算果汁减少一半 果味也太重了
is too fruity by half.
你们看起来都像一群富有的小混♥蛋♥
Y'all look like some rich-ass genies.
果味酒
Ooh, punch.
要是果味再重一点就好了
I wish it was fruitier.
你拿去吧
You keep that.
如果你连这个都觉得恶心的话
If you think that's gross,
你真应该看看她是怎么挖鼻屎的
you ought to see what she do with her boogers.
天哪 就是因为这些事 我才不想要孩子
Oh, and that's why I don't plan on having children.
那太可惜了 巴克非常想要孩子
Well, that's a shame, because Buck really wants kids.
哥们 你在干什么
What you doing to me, man?
你想要孩子 对吧 巴克要好多孩子
You want to have kids. Right, Buck? A lot of kids.
哦对 没错
Oh, yeah. Right, right.
我想要好多孩子
I want a lot of kids.
我想要安吉丽娜·朱莉那一堆孩子
Um, I want a-a whole Angelina Jolie package of kids.
你能出来一下吗 我有话跟你说
Can I speak to you outside, please?
太好了 她把我甩了 没我什么事了
Whew! She pulled the plug. I'm out.
看到了吗 罗素兄弟联手 结果怎么样
You see what happens when the Russell brothers work together?
没人受伤害 除了那位女士之外
Nobody gets hurt... Except that lady.
孩子们
Hey, guys.
我们不参加了 我把我们节目取消了
We're not doing this. I withdrew our names.
我以为你想打败霍莉呢
I thought you wanted to crush Holly.
我之前确实想 但是我发现
I did, until I realized
为了和她一争高下 我变成了和她一样的人
that by competing with her I was turning into her.
别管这事了
Let's forget this.
孩子们 你们在等什么
Guys, what are you doing?
噩梦结束了 我们回家吧
The nightmare's over. Let's go home.
我们哪都不去
We're not going anywhere.
我们排练很努力的
We worked too hard.
我穿着这裤子 看起来挺帅的