巴克叔叔（2016）

老师说有电♥话♥找我
My teacher said I had a phone call.
是的 抱歉把你从涂鸦课叫出来
Yeah. Sorry to pull you out of doodle class,
但你♥爸♥爸打电♥话♥找你
But your daddy's on the line.
在那边
Over there.
你好
Hello.
是我
Aagh! It's me!
我只是想打电♥话♥告诉你
I just wanted to call and let you know
我在边吃披萨边玩杀手游戏
That I'm eating pizza and playing Hitman.
没错 这可是M级的限制游戏
And yes, it is rated "M."
怎么做到的
How?!
老爸想极力证明
Dad is so desperate to prove
他比老妈更擅长处理病假日
That he's better than mom at sick day,
他对我有求必应
He will do anything I ask.
我像是在做梦 宝贝妹妹
I'm living the dream, baby girl.
你打电♥话♥就是为了当我面显摆吗
Did you just call me to rub it in my face?
对呀
Yes, I did.
替我向那些在学校的傻瓜们问声好
Tell those other suckers at school I say hello.
麦琪 你还好吗
Maizy, are you all right?
我不舒服
I feel sick.
路易斯 有人生病了
Oh, Louise, it's a sick -- ugh!
嘿 宝贝 怎么了
Hey, honey, what's going on?
麦琪生病了
Oh, Maizy's sick.
我现在说不了 正在电♥话♥会议
I can't talk, I'm on a conference call.
上楼去吧 换上睡衣
Go upstairs, get your pjs on,
准备好新版的病假日吧
And buckle up for sick day 2.0.
你们那还顺利吗
Is everything okay out there?
没 都还好 兄弟 我得说...
No, everything's cool, brother. Look, I'm gonna tell --
一点都不好
Oh, it is far from cool.
我们惹恼了桑迪 而他差点撞死了辛迪·派图雷斯
We pissed off Sandy, he almost killed Cindy Patrellus,
他还吐在了一个素食主义者身上 现在我们还得重找兽医
And he spit on a vegan. Now we're gonna need a new vet.
这说不通啊
That doesn't make any sense.
我在 肯 我们需要那笔资金
Yeah, I'm here, Ken. We need that funding.
发生了什么 兄弟
What's going on, bro?
你妻子崩溃了
Your wife is freaking out.
那是因为他不什么都不听
That's because he doesn't listen.
一意孤行 为所欲为
He does whatever he wants.
不 不是说你 肯
Oh, no, not you, Ken.
你是我们的好伙伴
You are a team player.
你真可怜
I feel sorry for you.
你这边怎样 兄弟
How's everything going here, bro?
小菜一碟
Killing it.
我已经知道了处理病假日的诀窍
I've cracked the code on sick day.
迈尔斯现在好多了
Miles is feeling a lot better.
孩子们甚至会忘了
These kids aren't even gonna remember
曾经是妈妈照顾他们
their mother used to take care of them.
这爆米花可真别致
Man, that's some fancy popcorn.
是啊 迈尔斯喜欢里面加松露油和帕尔马干酪
Yeah, Miles likes it with truffle oil and parmesan.
我要接着来让麦琪也爱上我
Then I'm gonna hook Maizy up.
迈尔斯刚提到了保龄球
Miles mentioned something about bowling.
这个病假日 我可以说是大获全胜
I'm basically winning sick day.
不 是他们孩子赢了
No, they are winning sick day.
天呐
Oh, my god!
我们把蒂娅忘在牙医那里了
We forgot Tia at the dentist.
- 什么 - 她刚全部用的大写字母给我发短♥信♥
- What?! - She just texted me in all caps.
钥匙给我 巴克 快走
Give me the keys, Buck. Come on.
现在由我来开车
I'm driving now.
你不能开 你都抓狂了
You can't drive, you crazy.
我没抓狂
I am not crazy!
- 快点 - 嘿 嘿
- Come on! - Hey, hey, hey, hey!
慢点 这可是老爷车
Slow down! This is a vintage automobile.
我的贷款还没还完呢
I'm still making payments on this.
真不敢相信我把蒂娅落在牙医那里了
I cannot believe I left Tia at the dentist!
我从没忘记过接我的孩子 巴克 从没有过
I have never forgotten to pick up one of my kids, Buck, ever.
好了 亚历克西斯 振作起来
Okay, Alexis, just pull it together.
你能行的
You got this.
减速带
Speed bump!
该死 每次我没有买♥♥保险的时候都会这样
Damn, this happen every time I don't have any insurance.
不要
No.
不要啊
No!
不要啊
No!
不要啊
no!!
骗得真漂亮 迈尔斯
This is an amazing scam, Miles.
谢谢 这可是我的杰作
Thank you. It's my opus.
希望在未来人们这样做时
I'm hoping when future generations do this,
他们会称之为"迈尔斯骗局"
They call it "The Miles."
天啊
Geez!
爸 你看起来像忍♥者一样
Dad, you're like a ninja!
抱歉 两位
I'm sorry, guys.
我只是过来看看你们还好吗
Just wanted to see how it's going.
我们还是感觉不舒服
We still don't feel great.
是啊 感觉很难受
Yep. Pretty crappy.
抱歉两位
I'm sorry to hear that.
我今天已经很努力了
You know, I tried really hard today.
只是想让你们俩明白 如果你们病了
Just wanted you guys to know you can rely on me
可以依靠于我
If you ever feeling sick.
只是想建立起一些信任罢了
Just wanted to build some trust.
信任很重要
Trust is important.
没有信任就不叫家人了
Can't have a family without it.
是啊 所以呢...
Unh. So...
这就是为什么我照看你们时发生这件事 让我很心碎
That's why I'm crushed this happened on my watch.
你什么意思呀
What are you talking about?
我给普林斯医生打电♥话♥了
I called Dr. Prince,
他说你得了"紫红色贝雷帽病"
And he says you have raspberry beret disease.
"raspberry beret"为音乐家王子(Prince)于1985年推出的歌♥曲
你说什么
What?!
是啊 你知道的...
Yeah, you know...
就是那种你在二手商店会得的病
The kind you find at the secondhand store.
不幸的是 你们俩...
Unfortunately, you two...
必须要被隔离了
Have to be quarantined.
可是我才到这里啊
But I just got here!
我们俩得被隔离多久啊
How long do we have to stay in here?
可能是三天 也可能一个月 说不准的
Oh, uh, three days, a month -- it varies.
爸爸 我不是真的病了
Dad, I'm not really sick.
我只是在搞"迈尔斯骗局"
I'm just pulling a "Miles".
是啊 我也没病
Yeah, me, too.
你们俩没生病吗
Oh, you're not sick?
谢天谢地 这下我放心了
Oh, thank god! I'm so relieved.
你们俩不用被隔离了
You're not quarantined.
但是要被禁足了
You're grounded!
而且塑料布不许撤
And I'm leaving the plastic.
我错过了涂鸦课 就换来了这个吗
I missed doodle class for this?
这不可能是真的
This cannot be happening.
你就干坐在这里发短♥信♥吗
Are you really gonna just sit there and text?
我叫过拖车了 坐着放松好了
I called the tow truck. We might as well just chill.
天啊 还真是诸事不顺
Whoo, man, this is getting rough.
- 你在逗我吗 - 怎么了
- Are you serious? - What?
只不过是车上的一点小酒罢了
It's just a little car wine.
你别紧张 我们又没有在开车
Take the edge off for you. We're not driving.
还不如坐下来休息休息
Might as well just go ahead and take the rest of it.
我不喝
I pass.
巴克我该怎么对蒂娅说呢
Buck, what am I gonna tell Tia?
蒂娅不过是在牙医那里了
Tia's at the dentist.
你又没把她卖♥♥给某个阿♥拉♥伯酋长
It ain't like you sold her to an Arab sheik.
这跟牙医没有关系
It's not about the dentist.
你不明白 是因为这个
You don't understand. It's this.
是因为... 这个
It's... it's about this.
是因为什么
Hmm. About what?
这个啊 现在的局面
This, all of this!
就是我可以一边工作 同时当个好妈妈
The ridiculous idea that I could go back to work
这个荒唐的想法
and still be a good mother.
- 是啊 - 我做不到