巴克叔叔（2016）

- Yeah. - I can't do it.
我就是失败者 我失败了
I'm a failure. I failed!
没有啦
No.
管它呢
What the hell?
哇哦
Whoo!
我应该小口抿的
Ooh! I should have sipped.
这酒太辣了
That burns.
所以才管用啊
That's how you know it works.
是啊
Yeah.
然后肥婆玛格丽特就说 "关你屁事"
And then fat Margaret said, "None of your damn business,"
然后把它弄翻了
And yanked it out.
太下流了 不过真逗
That is so foul, but hilarious!
我喜欢这样的亚历克西斯
I like this Alexis.
怎么你平时不这样呢
How come I never met her?
我也不知道
I don't know.
也许是因为你从来没给过我储物箱里的酒吧
Maybe because you've never given me glove-box wine before.
是啊 我能跟你说真心话吗
Yeah. Can I be real with you?
你为什么对自己这么苛求
Why are you so hard on yourself?
不知道 也许是因为我是被奶奶带大的
I don't know, maybe because I was raised by nannies,
我妈妈从来不在我身边 她也没有工作
My mother was never around, and she didn't even work.
- 太凄惨了 - 是啊
- That's cold. - I know.
所以我向自己承诺 当我自己做母亲后
And I promised myself that when I became a mother,
一定要亲力亲为
That I was gonna be hands-on.
也就是说 每次你定下那些清单的时候
So that means every time you make one of those lists,
你就不是你母亲了
You're not your mother.
是啊 没错
Yeah. Yeah.
我只知道抚养孩子并不简单
And all I know is raising kids is not easy.
那还用说么
Ah, tell me about it.
平心而论 巴克你才当了一天的保姆
In all fairness, Buck, you've only been doing it for a day.
我也抚养过小孩啊 就是你老公
I raised kids -- your husband!
当时我祖母出去工作的时候
Yeah, while my grandmother went to work.
我还得即兴用报纸来做尿布
I had to improvise and make diapers out of newspapers.
所以他才那么早学会识字
That's how he learned how to read so early.
好吧 也许我没有对他变得如此出色这件事
Well, all right, maybe I'm not giving you enough credit
给你足够的感谢
For how great he turned out.
所以谢谢你了
So thank you for that.
- 好吧 - 真心的
- Yeah. - Truly.
但是你的即兴创作有点吓到我了
But your improvising kind of scares me.
好吧 我们得在我的报纸尿布和
Well, we gonna have to find a common ground
你的连环杀手清单之间 找到共同点了
Between my newspaper diapers and your long serial-killer lists.
好啊 很公平
Okay, fair enough.
我很爱你的孩子 当作是我亲生的
I love your kids like they mine,
我向你保证 我会好好照顾他们的
And I promise you to take care of them right.
我的天啊
Oh, my god!
我的孩子被逮捕了
My baby's been arrested.
快看 妈妈 我是橄榄球球员了
Look, mom, I'm an NFL football player!
- 这是什么情况 - 当你在这里
- What is this? - While you was over here
给我讲你的悲惨童年故事时
Telling me about your tragic childhood stories,
我给我朋友马库斯发了短♥信♥ 他欠我一个人情
I texted my friend Marcus, who owes me a favor.
这就是肥佬马库斯吗
That's fat Marcus?
不是 这是另一个马库斯 他去接了蒂娅
No, that's a different Marcus. He picked up Tia.
那还有纸杯蛋糕 狗粮 麦琪的戏服呢
And the cupcakes, the dog food, and Maizy's costume?
他是个警♥察♥ 又不是巫师
He's a cop, not a wizard.
我们得去买♥♥那些东西了
We got to go get the stuff.
听着 这会变得有点疯狂 你还行吗
Now, look, it might get a little crazy, but you down?
好吧 管它呢 即兴而为吧
All right. Screw it, let's improvise.
来吧 我们一起
Come on, let's do it.
往里面挪挪 蒂娅
Scoot over, Tia.
好了 马库斯 把警笛打开
All right, Marcus, turn on those sirens.
我准备好闯红灯了
I'm ready to run some red lights.
我还从来没有坐过警车的前座
I ain't never rode in the front seat of one of these.
我总是坐在后面
It's always the backseat.
你对巴克做出裁决了吗
What's the verdict on Buck?
我清单上的任务都完成了
Well, we got everything done on my list.
我们打破了无数条规矩 但你知道吗
We broke about a hundred rules, but you know what?
下面的话我可能会后悔
I may regret saying this,
我真心觉得巴克也许能胜任
I actually think it may work out with Buck.
很好
Good.
嗨
Hi.
你想做♥爱♥了
You want to have sex.
没错 你也有迹象的 就是嘴里浓郁的酒气
Yeah, you have a tell, too. It's strong wine breath.
但你不是担心巴克会闯进来吗
But aren't you afraid Buck will walk in?
亲爱的 我把门锁了
Oh, honey, I locked that door.
看他怎么过来
Let's see him get through that.
我就想听这个
That's all I need to hear.
天啊 亲爱的
Yes. Oh, my goodness gracious!
抱歉二位 我的棉签用完了
Sorry, guys, I had ran out of q-tips,
我本来打算等你俩完事了
And I was gonna wait in there until you was done,
但是感觉不太好 所以...
But it didn't seem cool, so...
你们俩继续吧
Y'all, just carry on.
继续继续
Jusy do what y'all doing。