巴克叔叔（2016）

That's for me!
我猜是乔丹 他们不能见面的
I bet that's Jordan, and she is not supposed to see him.
- 她被禁足了 - 这个世界都被禁足了
- She's grounded. - The whole world's grounded.
快点 你得管管啊 不然你就搞砸了 大叔
Come on. You're blowing it, dude.
就不能让我安安静静吃个早饭吗
Can't a man enjoy his breakfast cake?
谢谢你帮我写论文
Thanks for writing my essay.
这是最后一次了
This has to be the last time.
你自己能行的 只要你稍微用心一点
You can do this. You just need to apply yourself.
我爸妈在欧洲 我准备办个派对
Listen, my parents are in Europe, and I'm throwing a party.
一定会嗨爆的
It's gonna be bangin'.
你应该来玩玩
You should come.
不行 我被禁足了
I can't. I'm grounded.
好吧 你要是想逃出来 告诉我一声
Well, if you want to escape, hit me up.
我来接你
I'll come get you.
你在干嘛
What is that?!
什么鬼
What is that?!
你好吗
How you doing?
我是蒂娅的叔叔 巴克
I'm Tia's uncle, Buck.
这件毛衣可贵了 大哥
This is an expensive sweater, dude.
我是看你这么大摇大摆进来
Well, I seen you moving in,
一下就有一种重回战场的感觉
it put me right back in war.
他没有打过仗
He wasn't in a war.
她不懂 使命召唤知道吧
She don't know. Black ops.
你想看看我那把干掉萨♥达♥姆♥的刀吗
You want to see the knife I took off Saddam Hussein?
不用了 我该走了
No, I got to go.
- 算你识相 - 我晚点打给你
- Okay. - Um, I'll call you later.
对 快点 快滚
Okay, well, get on out of here.
你疯了吧
You're insane.
你觉得呢
You have no idea.
非常感谢
Thank you so much.
姐妹会项目
为身处险境的姑娘们提供指导
亚历克西斯 非常精彩的演讲
Oh, such a great speech, Alexis.
我的理解是这些年轻女孩们
My big takeaway is that these teenage girls
确实需要至少一位监护人在身边
really need at least one parent at home.
因为问题往往是在
'Cause when there isn't,
家里没有家长的时候开始的
that's when the problems start.
你为什么不在多伦多
Why are you not in Toronto?
我之前是在那里 给高桥先生展示
I was there, and I was showing Mr. Tagahashi
他新家的规划 然后事情就乱成一团了
the plans for his new home when all hell broke loose.
我以为他在评价我的设计
I thought he was commenting on my design.
结果是他吃了坏掉的河豚
Turns out he ate some rotten blowfish.
所以我决定过来 和你共度一些有品质的时间
So I decided to come spend some quality time with you.
宝贝 那你为什么不回家呢
Baby, why didn't you go home?
因为巴克能搞定的
Because Buck's got it.
他不会让孩子们发生什么事的
He would never let anything happen to the kids.
我要回家 蒂娅现在基本上已经恨我了
I need to be home. Tia basically hates me right now.
她当然恨你了 她16岁 你是她妈
Of course she does. She's 16. You're her mother.
你们就是天敌 就像眼镜蛇和蝙蝠
You're natural enemies, like the cobra and the bat.
我不认为他们是敌人
I don't think they're enemies.
好吧 但他们不是朋友啊
Well, they're not friends.
听着 这和蒂娅或者巴克无关 这是咱俩的事
Look, this isn't even about Tia or Buck. This is about us.
我们近期内都不会闲下来
We're not getting less busy any time soon.
如果我们不能想办法让别人来帮忙
If we can't figure out how to let someone else help us,
我们就真的有麻烦了
we got a real problem.
孩子们好着呢
The kids are all right.
巴克也在做他该做的工作
Buck is on the job.
你好啊 塞勒斯
Hello, Cyrus.
你在干什么呢
What are you up to right now?
我在享受片刻的平静
Giving myself the gift of stillness.
这些熊孩子快搞死我了
These kids about to kill me.
我不喜欢小孩 他们的小手吓死我了
I don't like kids. Their little hands freak me out.
就像恰吉一样
Like the Chucky doll.
恰吉 鬼娃系列主角
对了 还记得那些我们买♥♥的
Anyway, remember those
那些稍微损坏了的平板电视吗
lightly damaged flat-screen TVs we bought?
我找了个买♥♥家
Well, I've got a buyer.
但是我需要巴克的谈判技巧
But I'm gonna need those Buck negotiating skills
来确保这个交易
to seal the deal.
不行 我要带孩子
I can't... I got the kids.
我们每人可以赚五千美金
We can make five grand each.
我会让大小孩看着小小孩的
I'll get the big one to watch the little ones.
我发了你一张没穿上衣的照片
Come on, I sent you a pic without my shirt.
现在轮到你了
Now it's your turn.
我穿着逗逼的毛衣的如何呢
How about me in a fun sweater?
我保证只有我能看到
I promise it's just for me.
我不知道诶
I don't know.
蒂娅 我想让你看着...
Hey, Tia, I need you to watch...
我说伙计 你为什么要带小孩来啊
Man, why'd you bring the kids?!
我根本没得选
Hell, I didn't have no choice.
这个把她上衣脱了
This one took her top off.
另外两个用棍子戳我菊花
The other two was poking my ass with a stick.
我得尽力做个负责任的叔叔啊
I'm just trying to be a responsible uncle, man.
巴克叔叔 厕所里有个裸女的画
Uncle Buck, there's a drawing of a naked lady in the bathroom.
是的呀
Yeah, there is.
小男孩 你得好好研究一下那个
You need to study that, little man.
我在厕所里学的比在学校里学的还多
I learned more in the toilet than I did in school.
这地方帅呆了
This place is awesome.
这地方真恶心
This place is disgusting.
给我我的手♥机♥ 我要告诉我爹妈
Give me my phone or I'll tell my parents
你把我们带到这个肮脏的酒吧
you brought us to filthy Cheers.
好啊 那我就告诉你爹妈
Yeah, and I'll tell your parents
你的小淫秽照片项目
about your little filthy photography project.
放轻松
Just relax.
让你们这帮小孩看看真实的世界是极好的
It's good for you kids to see the real world.
巴克叔叔 看我
Hey, Uncle Buck, look at me!
这已经有点太现实了
Oh, it done got a little too real.
离开那里
Get away from there!
你好呀 杰基
Oh, hello, Jackie.
这太有趣了
Man, this is so much fun.
- 好 说他们吧 - 好 太简单了
- Okay, let's do them. - All right, too easy.
那个是退休了的丹尼·格洛弗
That's retired Danny Glover and
丹尼·格洛弗 美国导演 演员 制片
然后那个是雷纳多·德拉·克鲁兹
that's Reynaldo de la Cruz,
蒂华纳[墨西哥城市]的头号♥天气播报员
Tijuana's number-one weather man.
宝贝 我们好久没玩这个外号♥游戏了
Baby, we haven't played the nickname game in forever.
你知道还有什么我们好久没做了的吗
You know what else we haven't done in forever?
- 什么 - 笑
- Hmm? - Laugh.
感觉很好 对吧
Feels good, right?
是的
Yes.
你今晚做的很棒
You did good tonight.
你没往家里或者因为工作打电♥话♥ 真为你骄傲
You didn't call home or work. Proud of you.
好啦 给孩子们打个电♥话♥吧 你应得的
But go ahead, call the kids... You've earned it.
但是得快点
But hurry up.
这酒店楼上有500个房♥间呢
This hotel has 500 bedrooms right above us.
在我买♥♥这些电视之前
Before I buy these TVs,
告诉我为啥它们这么便宜
tell me why they're so cheap.
好吧 我跟你说实话
Well, I'll be straight up with you.
你唯一能看到颜色将是红色
The only color you're gonna see is red.
但是鉴于你是
And since you're selling them
要把它们卖♥♥去给养老院 谁在乎呢
to a nursing home, ha... who cares?
老年人才不在乎法官朱迪[美剧]是红的呢
Old people don't care that Judge Judy is red.
他们只想要点噪音
They just want noise.
这场谈判结束了
This negotiation is over!
你可以走了 结束了 起来
You can leave, it's over, raise up.
你知道门在哪里
Come on. You know where the door is.
杰基我正打算给你打电♥话♥呢
Jackie, I was just fittin' to call you.
- 是吗 - 我突然有点急事
- Oh, really? - I had an emergency,
因为我得帮我哥带孩子
'cause I had to get my brother's kids.
所以你把他们带到酒吧来了
Oh, and so you brought them to a bar?
干得漂亮
Bravo.
你知道吗 没关系
I mean, you know what? It's fine.
我只是过来跟你说咱俩玩完了