巴克叔叔（2016）

I just came here to tell you that we're done.
这意味着你被甩了 无家可归了
Which means that you are broke and homeless.
你将会孤独终老
And you're gonna end up old,
一直吃炸香肠三明治
alone, and eating fried bologna sandwiches.
祝你今天过得愉快 老鹰
You have a nice day, Heagle.
那女人真是个小 女 表 石 匝
That woman's a B-I-C-T-H.
是啊 你可以再拼一次
Yeah, you can spell that again.
好吧 该离开这里了 蒂娅呢
Well, it's time to get out of here. Where's Tia?
我刚看到她在外面
Oh, I just seen her outside,
和一个叫乔丹的人说话
talking to a guy named Jordan.
- 他们坐他的帅车走了 - 谢了 塞勒
- They left in his fancy car. - Thanks, Cy.
你说的这么轻描淡写
Yeah, you just said that real casually
就好像你不懂这要搞死我了
like you don't understand how that unravels my world!
你在说的是我侄女诶
That's my niece you talking about.
是亚历克西斯
Oh, it's Alexis.
你们老妈 你好
That's your mom! Hello?
就是来问问孩子们怎么样了
Just calling to check on the kids.
我们好极了
Uh, we're doing real good.
我们做了好多健康的运动
We... We're doing a lot of healthy activities,
我... 我们... 我们在吃蔬菜
and, uh, we're... we're... we're eating vegetables
还祷告了
and... and praying, too.
还学了好多东西
And doing a lot of learning stuff.
妈 一个妓♥女♥教我了扭臀舞
Mom, a prostitute taught me to twerk!
我一会打给你 拜拜 你干嘛啊
Let me call you back. Bye. What's wrong with you?
我们能上楼了吗
Shall we go upstairs?
赶紧结账
Get the damn check.
- 你觉得她信了吗 - 根本没信
- You think she bought it? - Not a chance in hell.
在他们回来之前我们有五个小时
And we got about five hours before they get back.
我得找到蒂娅
I got to find Tia and
然后把他们送回家 快点 走
get them back home. Come on. Let's go.
我去 这派对真不错啊
Damn, this is a big-ass party.
我什么都看不见
I can't see nothing.
潜望镜升起
Up periscope!
我看见她了 在楼上
I see her... upstairs!
干得漂亮 鹰眼
Good work, Hawkeye.
迈尔斯去哪了
Where's Miles?
天哪
Oh, come on.
谁给这小孩可♥卡♥因♥的 他小心脏受得了么
Who gives a kid cocaine? He has a tiny heart!
他们有甜甜圈诶
They have doughnuts.
- 甜甜圈 这派对真逊 - 逊毙了
- Doughnuts. This party's lame! - Lame!
我们票都订满了
We're all booked.
我知道 但是我想和你谈谈
I know, but I want to
女人和女人之间的谈话
talk to you woman to woman.
知道吗 我是个职业女性
See, I'm a working mom,
我夹在事业和家庭中间 都快被撕裂了
and I'm being torn in two different directions, and...
你能先别狂敲键盘一小会吗
Can you stop that tippity-tappity for a moment
听我说完啊 这很重要诶
and listen to me? It's kind of important.
听着 我把我的孩子留给了一个堕落的流浪汉
See, I left my kids with a degenerate grifter,
我非常需要赶回家
and I really need to get home.
你彻底把我惹毛了
Now, that's pissing me off.
我们真的要开车回去吗
Are we really gonna drive?
也没有很远啊 威尔
It's not that far, Will.
沿I-90向东走400英里
Take the I-90 East and proceed 400 miles.
I-90美国最长洲际公路西至西雅图东至波士顿
终于能独处了
Finally alone.
我有点口渴
I'm a little parched.
需要我拿点喝的吗
Should I get us some drinks?
好的
Yes!
太大声了
Too loud.
我拿手的失身酒来了
This would be my famous hunch punch.
这是什么东西
What the hell is this?!
听着 呆子 那些女孩子们
Listen, nerd, every one of those girls
都很想取代你 好吗
would love to be in your position, okay?
你在干什么 住手
What are you doing?! Stop it!
快点
Come on!
你姐姐有麻烦了
Your sister's in trouble.
我很快回来
I'll be right back.
我来救你了 蒂娅
Yeah! I'm coming for you, Tia!
你们在做什么
What are you guys doing?!
救你啊
Saving you.
至少是在尝试
At least trying.
你对他做了什么
What'd you do to him?
我可不让别人叫我 呆子
Nobody calls me "Nerd."
没人能惹我家人
Yeah, nobody messes with my family.
已经快早晨了 孩子们
It's almost morning, kids.
谁想试试危险驾驶
Who want to do some dangerous driving?
这周末大堵车
Traffic on the weekend.
最好是那里有人死了
It better be somebody dead up there!
就是这样
That's it.
你们爸妈会比我们早回家的
Your parents are gonna beat us home.
都是我的错 我在想什么呢
This is all my fault. What was I thinking?
你没错 但我知道了
You weren't. But I get it.
我是想不通事情之王
I'm the king of not thinking things through.
我都能出本书说这件事了
I could write a book about it.
你会告诉我爸妈吗
Are you gonna tell my parents?
不会 我们这周末过得都很复杂
No. We both had a complicated weekend.
我知道要重新开始很难
Look, I know it's all hard to move back
你妈妈也要回去工作
and your mother going back to work.
重新开始真的很糟糕
Starting over sucks.
但确实会变好
But it does get better.
- 真的 - 是的
- Really? - Yeah.
我知道 我重新开始了一千次
I should know. I started over a thousand times.
加上杰基把我赶出房♥子
And with Jackie kicking me out of the house,
那是第一千零一次
that's a thousand and one times.
你应该过来住在我们家 并且照顾我们
You should come live at our house and take care of us.
谢谢你这么想 小姑娘
I appreciate the thought, baby girl,
但 今晚之后
but, ha, after tonight,
我已经证实了我不是个干保姆的料
I've proven that I'm not babysitter material.
你也没有完全搞砸嘛
You didn't totally blow it.
你帮了我
You were there for me.
是啊
Yeah.
你还照顾了麦琪和我
And you took care of Maizy and me.
我们可是很难相处的
And we're difficult people.
这三点说得有道理嘛
Those are three good points.
抛开我今晚犯的所有错不谈
Take away all the mistakes I made tonight,
我也算是个不错的人
I kind of was an awesome guy.
也许我可以做这件事
Maybe I can do this.
稍等一下
Wait a minute.
你们都不♥穿♥纸尿裤 对吧
Don't none of y'all wear diapers, do you?
- 不♥穿♥ - 好的 我可以的
- No. - Oh, okay, I can do this.
但如果妈妈爸爸比我们早回家
Yeah, but if Mom and Dad beat us home,
他们永远不会同意的
they'll never go for it.
抓紧了
Hold on.
我们要开始越野了
We going off-road!
在小车里待了六个小时
Six hours in that tiny car.
现在我知道了为什么小丑很邪恶了
Now I know why clowns are evil.
我要进去了
I need to get inside.
甜心 记住 在你进去之前
Sweetie, remember, before you go in there,
巴克心很善良
Buck's got a good heart.
我的孩子们
My babies!
看看 看...
Looky here, looky...
看看谁回家了
Hey! Look who's home!
我们打算打破最大煎饼的记录
We're trying to break the biggest pancake record.
妈妈 松开
Mommy, stop!
你的爱要勒死我了
You're crushing me with your love.
周末过得好吗
So it was a good weekend?
轻而易举 老弟
It was a breeze, brother.
巴克叔叔被甩了
Uncle Buck got dumped.
除了那件事
Except for that part.
他现在无家可归
He's homeless now...
就像在商场喷泉里尿尿的人一样
like that guy who was peeing in the fountain at the mall.