片厂风云（2025）

我就是不希望你在发言时忘记感谢我
I just didn't want you to forget to thank me in your speech.
你以为我会一字不差地照着提词器念
And you thought I'd say whatever's on the teleprompter,
就像《王牌播音员》?
like I'm fucking Ron Burgundy?
我希望如此
That was the hope.
我对这部电影很自豪
I'm very proud of this movie,
我不是编剧 也不是导演 人们知道我有贡献
and I didn't write it or direct it, and the only way anyone will know
唯一途径就是你在发言时感谢我
that I contributed anything to it is if you thank me in your speech.
说实话 我觉得你不会在意的
And honestly, I figured you wouldn't give a shit.
你似乎对整个奖项都毫不在意
You don't seem to give a shit about this award stuff at all, you know?
好 我把话说清楚 我在意 我非常在意
All right. Let's get one thing straight. I give a shit. I give a ginormous shit.
但你一直说金球奖好傻
But you keep saying how silly it is.
我装呢 我已经很有钱、有名了
I'm pretending! I'm already rich. I'm already famous.
就差得奖了
Winning awards is like the only thing that's left.
太好了 那你明白这个奖有多重要
Okay, great! Well, then you understand how important it is.
你明白我为什么想得到感谢 我...
You see why I wanna be thanked, so I--
我明白 但你不在我的计划中
Yes, I do. But you're not a part of my plan.
我安排好了每一步 不会跑偏的
I have this figured out to the T, and I'm not getting played off.
那就太丢人了
That shit's embarrassing.
我以为你觉得自己不会得奖呢
But I thought you didn't think you were even gonna win this thing.
我会得奖的
I'm gonna win.
那些好莱坞外国记者协会办的所有餐会
I have gone to every luncheon and bruncheon that those
不管是午餐还是早午餐 我都去捧场了
Hollywood Foreign fucks have thrown.
我费了这么多力气 我一定要得奖
I have put in the work, and I am winning this shit.
就几个字 “谢谢 马特雷米克”
It's three words. "Thanks, Matt Remick."
我只要求你加这几个字
That's all I want you to put in there, you know?
你不懂 我对着镜子排练过无数次
You don't understand. I have practiced this in the mirror a million times.
我现在改不了 感言很完美
I can't change it now. It's perfect.
我开始会很惊讶 然后很谦虚
I start genuinely shocked, then get very humble,
感激到泣不成声
become overwhelmed with gratitude and start crying.
然后我恢复仪态 郑重感谢《开》团队 完
Then I compose myself, give a big thanks to Team Open, and that's it.
若不是我 这电影根本不存在 是我批的
This movie would not exist if it wasn't for me. I green-lit it.
你和我就是《开》团队 知道吗?
You and me, we are Team Open, you know?
你不会真这么想吧 - 就这么想
You can't possibly believe that. - I do!
天啊 这太可悲了
Oh, my God. That is so fucking sad.
哥们 闭嘴
Dude, shut the fuck up, man.
我想给克里斯托弗诺兰展示我的戏路很宽
I'm out here trying to show Christopher Nolan that I have range,
结果只能听见你在怨天尤人
and all I can hear is you whining.
非常抱歉 拉米 你今晚表现好极了
We're so sorry, Ramy, and you are killing it tonight.
佐伊 我不是吼你 我吼的是这个家伙
Zoë, I was not yelling at you. I was yelling at whoever the fuck this guy is.
我爱你 爱你的电影
I love you and I love your movie.
非常精彩 不光是多元性
It's really good. It's not just diversity good.
你会得奖的 - 天 爱死你了
You're gonna win. - Oh, my God. I love you so much.
我们得不了奖 但我爱你
We're not gonna win, but I love you.
佐伊 我求求你了 我母亲在看呢
Zoë, I'm begging you here. My mother is watching.
我要去排练了
I have to go rehearse my bit.
不...
Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no.
天啊 不好 该死的
Oh, God, no. Fuck!
不...
Oh, no. Oh, no, no. Oh, no.
马特
Matt!
对 我看到他了 好 我这就告诉他
Yeah. I've got eyes on him. Yeah, I'm gonna tell him right now.
唷 怎么了?
Yo, what's up?
刚才是佐伊 她不打算签约拍《黑翼》了
That was Zoë. She's gonna back out of the Blackwing deal.
你认真...她刚刚跟你说的?开玩...
Are you ser... She told you that right now? Are you ser--
对 她刚刚打给我的 说你想把自己的名字
Yeah, she just called me, and she said that you tried to put your name
放进她的获奖感言? - 见鬼
in her acceptance speech? - Oh, fuck.
你疯了吗?
Have you lost your fucking mind?
她气坏了 好吗?
She is livid, okay?
你别管什么感谢了 她再也不会跟“犹”合作了
So forget about thanking you, she will never work with Jew again.
现在不是开这种玩笑的时候吧?
Now's not the time for these fucking jokes, okay?
我没开玩笑 我像开玩笑吗?
I'm not joking. Do I look like I'm kidding?
我们需要《黑翼》 好吗?很重要
We need to make Blackwing, okay? It's a priority.
是 我懂 - 你得把她哄回来
Yeah, I understand that. - You gotta smooth things over!
我?我怎么...
Me? What the fuck am I--
对 首笔收入分成 我们给她首笔收入分成
Yes! First dollar gross. We will give her first dollar gross.
确定? - 是的
Really? - Yes.
你现在像个有理智的犹太人了
Well, now you're talking like a rational Jew-man being.
年轻的编剧问我
When young writers ask me for advice
如何在娱乐圈里成功
on how to succeed in the entertainment business,
我跟他们说了三点:一 越短越好
I tell them three things: First, shorter is better.
二 越快越好 三 别听任何人的建议
Second, faster is better. Third, don't take anybody's advice.
回望我的职业生涯 太多人需要感谢了
When I look back on my career, there are far too many people to thank
回望我的职业生涯 太多人需要感谢了
一次感言都说不完 我就长话短说
for one speech, so I'll whittle it down.
谢谢你 萨尔萨珀斯坦
Thank you, Sal Saperstein.
好 来吧
Yeah, come on.
是的...就是这位 - 萨珀魅力势不可挡
Yes! Yes! This guy. - You can't handle the Sap.
就是这位
This guy right here.
是我... - 天啊 天啊
That's me. That's me. That's me. - Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
好耶
Yeah!
我爱你 阿伦索尔金 - 好
I love you, Aaron Sorkin. - Yes!
萨珀魅力势不可挡 - 是的
You can't handle the Sap. - Yes!
萨尔萨珀斯坦
Sal Saperstein!
嗨 泰德 - 嗨 马特
Hey, Ted. - Hey, Matt.
我得问问你 哥们 为什么这么多明星
I gotta ask you, man, how do you get all these stars
在感言中感谢你?
to thank you in their speeches?
你每天去片场探班
You showing up on set every day,
给他们送果篮什么的吗?
you giving them fucking fruit baskets, or something?
不 那是合同规定的
No, it's contractual.
不 我强迫他们的 他们必须谢我
No, I force them to. They literally have to thank me.
真的? - 对
Really? - Yeah.
对 这么重要的事 我不会听天由命
Yeah, I'm not gonna leave something that important to chance.
是啊 天 这真是天才之举 哥们
Yeah, no. Wow, that's genius, man.
我以后也得这么干
I gotta do that from now on.
是 对吧?
Yeah. Yeah, right?
否则他们凭什么感谢我们?
I mean, otherwise, why in the world would they possibly thank us?
我们是管账的 他们是艺术家
We're bean counters, they're artists.
对 我是说...
Yeah, I mean, I gu... I mean...
我也是艺术家 所以... - 真幽默
I am an artist, so... - That's hilarious.
不 我说真的 我们...都是艺术家 泰德
No, I mean, I am. I mean, we're... we are both artists, Ted.
我可不是艺术家
I am not a fucking artist.
我反正是
Well, I am a fucking artist.
就算你疯了 真的相信自己是
Well, even if you're crazy enough to really believe that,
也别当着艺术家的面说出来
don't say it out loud in front of the real artists.
接下来好像是你的项目了
I think your category's next.
不好
Shit.
真是个大傻子
What a dumbass.
颁奖季最糟糕的部分
You know the worst part of awards season
就是没完没了地讨好别人以博取关注
is all the constant pandering for attention.
巴沙 对不对?我们都讨厌乱拍马屁吧?
Isn't that right, Basha? Don't we hate the pandering-wandering?
对 看狗的人取消了 巴沙不喜欢独自待着
Yeah, the dog sitter flaked and Basha hates to be alone.
但我发誓 休息室的便便不是它的
But I swear, the turd in the greenroom was not his.
是朱迪丹奇女爵的 但是朱迪 我替你捡起来了
It was Dame Judi Dench, but, Judi, I picked it up for you.
我爱你
I love you.
颁发最佳音乐及喜剧电影奖的
Here to present the award for Best Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy,
是自己没得过该奖项的人 各位 有请扎克施奈德
is a man who has done neither. Zack Snyder, everybody.
谢谢
Thank you.
好 如果有人觉得典礼进行得太快
Now, for any of you who felt like the show's gone by too fast
或感觉它不够长 别担心 我即将推出
or felt it's not nearly long enough, don't worry, I'll be releasing a six-hour,
六小时长、黑白、 4比3、施奈德剪辑版的节目
black-and-white, 4:3 version of the show, Snyder Cut style,
有下载和蓝♥光♥两个版本 29.99美元 请留意
on digital download and Blu-ray, 29.99, so look for that.
绝对物有所值
It'll be well worth it.
好 我们来颁奖吧?
All right, let's get to it, shall we?
最佳音乐及喜剧电影提名的有
The nominees for Best Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy,
《狗狗也是人》
Dogs Are People Too...
《预期后果》
Intended Consequences,
《智胜一筹》、《开》
Whip-Smart, Open...
好
Yeah.
还有《萱草花开》
...and finally, Day Lilies.
金球奖得主是...
The Golden Globe goes to...
萨尔萨珀斯坦 不 是《开》
Sal Saperstein. No! Open!
《开》...好耶... - 天啊...