顾问（2023）

去他的
Fuck him!
这什麽鬼？他妈的小丑鞋吗？
What are these, fucking clown shoes?
有金属跟，
Look, they have metal heels on the bottom.
谁会穿金属跟的鞋子？
Who has shoes with metal heels?
派蒂好吗？ - 她在生我的气
How's Patti? - She's pissed at me.
她发现我跑去波莫纳 - 怎麽发现的？
She found out I went to Pomona. - How?
她一定是看我的电邮 她看到我的优步收据
She must be reading my emails. She saw my Uber receipt.
你有告诉她发生的事吗？ - 当然没有，我全盘否认
Did you tell her what happened?No, of course not. I denied everything.
我说我的优步帐户被骇了
I told her that my Uber account got hacked.
怎麽不说实话算了？
Why didn't you just tell her the truth?
听起来很疯狂 我求婚时
Because it sounds fucking crazy! And when I proposed to her,
我答应过我会努力上班
I made her a promise I'd like, you know, try.
成为天主教♥徒♥、别常抽大♥麻♥
That I'd show up for work, and I'd become a Catholic,
和她好像很喜欢的那些五四三
and I wouldn't get stoned all the time.And all this bullshit stuff that she seems to like.
为了克雷格
For Craig!
嘿，妳瞭解吗？ 还是现在不懂民间疾苦了？
Hey, can you get that, or are you too important now?
我想联络一下派蒂
I want to check in on Patti.
克雷格
焦点小组的满意度报告
The satisfaction report from the focus group.
很抱歉这麽晚才完成
I'm sorry that it's so late.
我帮你印出纸本了
I had a copy printed for you.
他们怎麽说？
What are they saying?
从“迷人和欲罢不能” 到“无趣的烂游戏”都有
From "charming and addictive" to "boring" and "fuck this shit."
这很正常 他们很讨厌《逃离金普岛》
That's normal. They all hated "Escape From Leprechaun Island"
但那是我们最赚钱的游戏
but it continues to be our top-earner.
不可能老是讨好所有人
Can't please all of the people all of the time.
没错，在你批准送去行销部前
No. I have a couple of follow-up calls I need to do
我明天要打几通电♥话♥
in the morning before you approve it to go to marketing.
明天是星期六
Tomorrow is Saturday.
我打算进来几个小时
I was planning on coming in for a couple of hours.
让工作有进展
Keep things moving forward.
克雷格一定好多了
Craig must be feeling better.
我之前看到他在妳的办公室
I saw him in your office earlier.
三日流感 很多人都有得
Three-day flu. A lot of people are going down with it.
妳为什麽帮他骗人？
Why do you lie for him?
我没有
I'm not.
我是说我没有…
I mean, I-- I don't.
克雷格在家过得不太好
Craig is having a difficult time at home.
跟派蒂吗？
With Patti?
我只跟她简短交谈过
I only conversed with her briefly,
但我觉得那场婚礼可能泡汤了
but I formed an impression that that wedding may not happen.
妳怎麽看，伊莲？
What do you think, Elaine?
我认为这件事他们得自己解决
I think it's something that they're gonna have to sort out between themselves.
妳说的没错
You're right.
也许他们需要分开一段时间 釐清各自的感受
Perhaps they need time apart to analyze their feelings.
那现在能稍微放克雷格一马吗？
So it's okay if we cut Craig a little bit of slack right now?
那当然，这就是朋友的作用
Of course! That's what friends are for.
好的
Okay.
伊莲？
Elaine.
是的，帕托夫先生
Yes, Mr. Patoff?
妳的电脑？
Your computer?
我有帮你保温
Kept it mild for you.
谢谢，宝贝
Ah, thanks, babe.
天主，求祢降福 给我们和祢所赐的饮食
Bless us, Lord, and this food we are about to receive
感谢祢保我们平安、团结和坚强
from your bounty. Thank you for keeping us safe,
阿们
and united, and strong. Amen.
阿们
Amen.
驱魔是怎样？
[Craig] What's the deal with exorcisms? Are they for real?
那是真的还是瞎掰的电视内容？
Or it's just something they made up for TV?
教会有时会出面处理恶魔附身桉
The Church will sometimes intervene in cases
of demonic possession.
不管是真的，还是想像的
Whether they're real or imagined.
你驱过魔吗？ - 我个人吗？
Have you ever done one?- Me personally?
对
Yeah.
从来没找过我
I've never been called upon.
这你别说出去，克雷格
Between the two of us, Craig,
我是有点失望
I'm a little disappointed about that.
你觉得自己被某种…
Do you feel like you've been under some kind of...
不，不是我
No, no, no. No, not me.
是一个公♥司♥的人
It's just this guy at work.
我不知道他内心是怎麽回事
I don't know what's going on inside of him, and...
我脑子裡开始有些超扯的想法
I'm starting to have some really crazy thoughts in my head.
有时我们会创造一个敌人
Sometimes we create an adversary
为我们自己的缺陷辩解
to justify our own failings.
天主教的教义还真残酷，对吧？
Hmm. Wow. This Catholic thing is pretty brutal, huh?
你来的真正目的是什麽，克雷格？
Why are you really here, Craig?
起初，我是为了跟派蒂结婚
Well, at first,it was so that I could marry Patti.
现在…现在嘛
Now... Right now,
我来这裡应该只是想活下去
I think I'm just here to stay the fuck alive.
你的敌人是谁？
Who's your enemy?
他是绍康，他是大金刚
He's Shao Kahn.He's Donkey Kong.
有时候是他妈的库巴
Sometimes he's fucking Bowser.
抱歉，我知道这些说法宅到不行
Sorry, I know those are nerdy references.
他是老闆
He's the boss.
那是他的身分
That's all he is.
我不应该让他登堂入室
And I shouldn't be taking him home.
但是他想进来就进来
But he just lets himself in, whenever he wants to.
不然要怎麽办？
What are you gonna do?
他是大头目
You know? He's the man.
他妈的
Oh, thank fuck.
你好，小伙子
Hello, young man.
我能坐吗？
May I?
我想跟你玩个游戏
I'd like to play a game with you.
我不能使用手♥机♥
[sighs] I'm not allowed phones.
这叫《相佑先生的丛林冒险》
It's called "Mr. Sang's Jungle Odyssey."
没有人会生你的气
No one will be angry with you.
《相佑先生的丛林冒险》
用你自己的话说…
In your own words,
告诉我你对这款游戏的感觉
I'd like you to tell me how the game makes you feel.
第300关完成！
开始第301关
第301关开始
喂，我是康威公♥司♥的伊莲
妳姓陈吧？
Hi, it's Elaine from CompWare. It's Tan, right?
是邓，像凳子的凳
[Tang] Tang. Like, taste.
抱歉，现在是星期六早上
[Elaine] Oh, sorry. I know that it's Saturday morning
我不会佔用妳太多时间
so I won't take up too much of your time.
我今天打来是因为 妳的游戏中
Uh, so I'm calling today because we detected an unusual pattern
出现不寻常模式
in your gameplay.
上面说妳玩了九次 《相佑先生的丛林冒险》
It says that you played "Mr. Sang's Jungle Odyssey"
共计七小时又十一分钟
nine times, for seven hours and 11 minutes.
我们的资料说妳停在第316关
And our data says that you stopped at level 316.
对，我白白浪费七小时又十一分钟
Yeah. Seven hours and 11 minutes I will never get back.
所以妳对第316关很失望？
So, you were disappointed with level 316.
听着，我跑去拿金蛋，大象掉下来
Look, I'm running for the golden egg,the elephant drops,
我每次都挂掉
I die. Every fucking time.
我气到用脸去撞露台窗户
I got so angry I smashed my face into the patio window.
我给一颗星
One star from Tang.
结束通话 我玩什麽游戏向来都全部破关
I've completed every single game I've ever played until now.
所以你停在第316关？
So, you stopped at level 316?
我没有停，那有缺陷
I didn't stop! It glitched!
凯尔，你的手怎麽了？
Kyle, what happened to your hand?
我用力推窗户
I punched the window.
因为这个游戏？
Because of the game?
因为那隻烂大象
Because of that fucking elephant!
♪
瑞吉斯：收到图片
♪
妈的王八蛋
Fucking assholes.
黛娜，妳为什麽在这裡？
Dana, why are you here?
他想吃奶油酥饼，
He wanted shortbread.
说必须是自製的
Said it had to be homemade.
我开车来就吃了三块，快阻止我
I already ate three on the drive in-- stop me.
妳儿子还好吗？泰瑞？
How's your son? Terry?
是提米
Timmy. - Oh, sorry.