硅谷

Silicon Valley S05E02

Part 2 Dec. 29, 2019, 7:18 p.m.

to spend the primes of their lives on your vision.
对吧你需要出去领导他们
Right? And you need to go out there and lead them.
他们渴望着被鼓舞
They're-- they're yearning for inspiration.
我鼓舞不了人心
I can't do inspiration.
我是个程序员
I'm a coder.
看看那边新互联网
Look there, the new Internet.
那就是鼓舞利用那个
That's inspiration. Use that.
理查德这只是个创意
Richard, this is all an idea.
人们不想追随一个创意
And people don't wanna follow an idea,
他们想追随一位领袖
they wanna follow a leader.
看看上一个创造新互联网的人
Look at the last guy to create a new Internet.
阿尔·戈尔
Al Gore.
他的创意很出色
His ideas were excellent,
但他说话就像是个有猝睡症的种植园主
but he talked like a narcoleptic plantation owner,
所以他在总统选举中败给了一个假牛仔
so he lost the presidency to a fake cowboy
现在在制♥作♥灾难色情片
and now he makes apocalypse porn.
重点是你需要富有激♥情♥地带领大家
Look, the point is, you need to lead with passion.
当你下定决心时
When you set your mind to it,
你是我认识的最有魅力的人之一
you're one of the most charismatic people I've ever met.
我可见过艾拉·格拉斯[电台节目制♥作♥人]
And I have met Ira Glass.
我知道这三天我们会很忙碌
I know it's three days we could be working,
但从根本上统一化的团队最终会节省时间
but ultimately, a unified team will save us time in the end.
你想要节省时间
You wanna save time?
如果你想要节省时间你这么做
If you wanna save time, here's what you do.
你自己说过爆绘文字的人
You said it yourself, okay, the Optimoji guys
和萨价网的人是分开的
and the Sliceline guys are separate,
他们有各自的历史
with their own separate histories,
有各自的编程陋习
their own separate shorthands,
那我们就利用这一点
so let's use that.
让我们把调度程序分配给爆绘文字的人
Let's give the scheduler to the Optimoji guys,
把无服务器运行分配给萨价网的人
and the server-less runtime to the Sliceline guys.
然后我们有迪尼希和吉尔弗约尔
Then we have Dinesh and Gilfoyle
还有仙人们他们负责整合
and the Stallions, they do the integration.
我们就可以运行了怎么样
Boom, we're off and running. How about that?
这样没人憋不住屎忍♥不住打嗝或是要吐
That way, no one has to shit or burp or puke
或者在所有人面前把鼻子撞流血
or get a nosebleed in front of anyone.
至于前脸设计我们年轻的艺术家当
As for the bezel design, our young aesthete, Dang,
再一次点石成金
has once again spun gold.
我们看看吧
Let's see it.
等等我的签名不在上面
Wait, my signature's not on it?
盖文·贝尔森的招牌产品盒子三怎么能
How could it be the Gavin Belson Signature Box III
没有盖文·贝尔森的签名在上面
without Gavin Belson's signature on it?
"招牌"这个词有手写的感觉
Well, the word "Signature" has a handwritten feel to it.
为什么我的签名没在这上面
Why is my signature not on this?
盖文你的签名有点小问题
Gavin, there was a slight issue with your signature.
什么问题
What issue?
你做了模型吗给我们看看
Do you have a mock-up? Pull it up.
对这不挺好
Ah, yes! There.
能有什么问题
What's wrong with that?
我们的测试组对这个的反应有好有坏
Well, reactions to this from our testing groups were mixed,
所以我们联♥系♥了一名笔迹专家
so we contacted a handwriting expert.
那个
And, uh, well...
珍你带了报告吗
Jean, do you have the report?
当然
Absolutely.
很高兴加入你的团队盖文这么写的
Pleasure to be on your team, Gavin. Here it is.
"这个签名展示了令人不安的特征
"The signature displayed troubling traits.
向左上方倾斜
Left of upright slant,
很小的倾角紧绷的笔画
narrow angles, tense strokes,
-很明显地显示出反♥社♥会♥倾向" -什么
- conclusively indicative of sociopathic tendencies." - What?
总结来说"无法共情需要占据支配地位
Characterized by "A lack of empathy and need to dominate,
为达个人目的不择手段
a willingness to hurt others to achieve one's goals.
无力接受坏消息"
Inability to accept bad news--"
-胡佛 -先生
- Hoover? - Sir?
立即把这个恶心的女人赶出我的办公室
Get this horrible woman the fuck out of my office, now.
那他妈是什么
What the fuck is that?
这是我能找到的最便宜的
It's the cheapest thing I could find
可以归类为电动车的东西
that qualified as an electric vehicle.
我在分类广♥告♥网上找到的
I found it on Craigslist.
现在你得停到五层去了
Now you get to park on the fifth floor.
旅途愉快
Enjoy the drive.
你说得对
Oh, and you were right...
参与环保革命的确感觉很好
it does feel good to be a part of the green revolution.
是吗你那"车"有"疯狂模式"吗
Oh, yeah? Well, does that "Vehicle" have "Insane Mode"?
只要按一下按钮
One press of a button
我就能在3.2秒内从零加速到近一百公里每
and I go zero to 60 in 3.2...
今天真忙
What a day.
看看我们现在本该还在收尾入职培训
See, we'd still be finishing up orientation,
唱《到这里来吧》做着信任倒
singing Kumbayas and doing trust falls.
但是相反
But instead,
我们的爆绘文字组和萨价网组
both our Optimoji and Sliceline teams
都已经进行完第一次代码审查了
have gone through their first code review.
说句公道话我根本没打算安排信任倒
Well, to be fair, I never would've scheduled trust falls.
我是说你只要做一次肾上腺素就会狂飙
I mean, you do one of those, you're so jacked up on adrenaline,
这一天剩下的时间基本上就废了
the rest of the day is basically shot.
我们本来要做非竞技性的才艺秀没人会输
We were gonna have a noncompetitive talent show with no losers.
不可能
Not possible.
混球我刚来检查了提交的代码
Dick, I just got in and checked the commits.
你知道萨价网的
Are you aware that the Sliceline guys
在用纳秒编码时间跟我们通常的做法一样
have been encoding time in nanoseconds, as we usually do,
但爆绘文字的在用毫秒
but the Optimoji guys have been using milliseconds?
什么
What?
我们到现在还在叫他们
Just the fact that we're still calling them
萨价网的和爆绘文字的
Sliceline guys and Optimoji guys
这可不是什么好预兆
is sending up all sorts of red flags.
更不用提只管他们叫"什么什么的"
And I don't even mean the word "Guys,"
我刚知道这是个微歧视的说法
which I just learned is a micro-aggression.
没关系 "魔笛手的"
It's fine, "Guys."
我会让他们重构代码的
I will get them to re-factor their code.
我们进度还是超前的
We're still ahead of where we'd be
要不我们现在还在做什么才艺秀
if we were doing some kind of talent show.
理查德吉尔弗约尔把他那坨电动垃圾
Richard? Gilfoyle parked his electric pile of trash
停在了我的特斯拉车位上
in my Tesla's spot.
你觉得公平吗
Do you think that's fair?
现在没空迪尼希
Not now, Dinesh.
为什么你们不换到毫秒
Why can't you guys switch to milliseconds?
为什么我们必须改
Why do we have to change?
抱歉我们整个代码基础是用纳秒的
Sorry, well, our entire code base uses nanoseconds.
你觉着这根本不重要所以没想着告诉我们吗
And you didn't think it was important to tell us this?
不我是说那是
No, well, I mean, it was--
那本来是安排的新人培训的一部分
it was part of the orientation that was scheduled,
那培训不得不
which had to be,
由于各种原因取消了
for numerous reasons, uh, canceled.
我很抱歉我知道这很让人不爽
And I'm sorry about that, I know it sucks.
如果我能让你开心点我会的但...
If I could make it suck less, I would, but--
你可以给我们弄点像样的咖啡
You could get some decent coffee in here.
什么现在的有什么问题吗
What? What's wrong with...
菲尔兹咖啡这可是高级货哥们
Philz Coffee? That's high-end joe, bro.
在我们爆绘文字每天都有树墩城咖啡喝
At Optimoji, we had Stumptown brought in every day.
这样就能激励你们工作不同的咖啡
So that would inspire you? Different coffee?
激励我们
Inspire us?
就这么着吧
You know what? Bup, bup, bup!
就树墩城咖啡了没问题
Stumptown it is. You got it.
那你跟你的人说纳秒的事
And you'll tell your guys about the nanoseconds?
当然除非你想
Yeah. Unless you wanna
在所有人面前亲自宣布
get up in front of everyone and announce it yourself.
不不不还是你来比较好
No, no, no, I'd rather you--
我开玩笑的
That was a joke.
你的讲话简直是灾难
Your speech was a disaster.
是啊
Oh. Yeah.
你知道的没错
You know. Yeah.
真的很糟糕