半独立屋（2020）

Kate's not daft. She knows something's wrong.
-干得好 聪明人 -你想穿哪件
- Well done, Einstein. - What do you wanna wear?
你都有什么衣服
What have you got?
其他衣服呢
Where's the rest of them?
-就这些 -你把高级货放哪了
- This is it. - Yeah, but where's the good stuff?
就这些
This is it.
不 那些只是地摊牛仔裤和合装包的衬衫
No, that's just supermarket jeans and multipack T-shirts.
所以呢
So?
天啊 好吧
Oh, God. All right, um...
把花衬衫给我 那件最不让人讨厌
Pass me the floral shirt. That's the least offensive.
你不能穿 那是我出去见人的衬衫
You're not wearing that. That's me going-out shirt.
天啊 不管了 随便给我一件
Oh, God! I don't care. Just give me anything.
看起来都一样
It all looks the bloody same!
提醒我再也不借给你衣服了
Remind me never to lend you a suit again.
-我慌了 -你没必要告诉他们那是我的啊
- I panicked. - You didn't have to tell them it was mine.
我在权威面前会紧张
I get nervous around authority.
那可是博斯牌的三件套啊
It's a three-piece BOSS!
我希望凯特没事
I hope Kate's gonna be all right.
那我呢 他们把兰博基尼开走了
What about me? They took the Lambo!
你跟我没关系
Well, it's not about you.
要是你的话 我就不帮忙了
If it was, I wouldn't be helping.
你要去告诉她
You're going to have to tell her.
我当然要告诉她 你个混♥蛋♥ 只不过不是现在
Of course I'm going to have to tell her, you berk! Just not now.
要像喀拉喀托火山一样爆发了
It's going to go off like soddin' Krakatoa!
我跟你说 趣味跑那件事只是走运
I tell you what. That fun run thing was a stroke of luck.
我差点就说是被狗咬下来的了
I was about to say a dog tore them off.
什么狗
What dog?
不知道 一条狗
I don't know. Some dog.
狗为什么要叼走我们的裤子
Why would a dog take our trousers?
我不知道
I don't know!
可能我们烧烤的时候酱搞到裤子上了
Maybe we were having a barbecue and the sausages spat on them!
天啊 这样太痛苦了
Oh, God, this is painful.
-瞧瞧我 -我觉得看着还行
- Look at me! - I think you look good.
不 不行 我看着像你
No, I don't. I look like you.
有什么问题吗
What's wrong with that?
瞧瞧我
Look at me!
来吧
Come on.
你能别再拍我屁♥股♥了吗
Can you not smack my arse again?
我们应该是好兄弟
We're supposed to be mates.
泰德在你们在一起之前
So, how long had Ted lived over the road before
-在街对面住了多久 -六个月
- the two of you got together? - Six months?
对 但那个时候
Yes, but by that time,
我和斯图尔特已经自愿分居了
Stuart and I were very much voluntarily dividing.
我想谈谈我关于政策的新想法
Look, I really would like to talk about my new policy ideas.
那么你是为了泰德离开斯图尔特的吗
So you left Stuart for Ted?
我不会这么说
Oh, I wouldn't put it like that.
瞧瞧你俩
Oh! Look at you two.
简直一模一样
You look exactly the same.
怎么说呢
Oh! What can I say?
我哥们有品位
My man's got style.
对
Yep.
所以你和斯图尔特在你跟泰德
So you and Stuart weren't separated
-在一起的时候还没离婚 -不不不
- when you got together with Ted? - No, no, no.
我不是这个意思
No, that's not what I was saying.
他俩同居五个月之前就离开我了
She left me five months before she officially moved in with him.
对 那么这段时间你住在哪儿
Right. And where did you stay in the meantime?
住我家
With me.
这件事没什么好写的
There's no angle on this.
斯图尔特是跟我在大学认识的
Stuart and I met at university.
我们23岁结的婚
We got married at 23,
一起度过了快乐的18年 然后是不愉快的5年
had 18 happy years together and then five tricky ones,
因为我们想要不同的东西
as it became apparent we wanted different things.
那你想要什么呢 斯图尔特
What was it that you wanted, Stuart?
是这样...
Well, um, you know...
我喜欢看电视
I like watching telly.
天啊
Christ.
听着 重点是
Look, the point is,
斯图尔特已经很有进步了
Stuart's pulled his socks up.
他有了新的家庭 现在我们和睦相处
He's got a new family, and now we all get along terrifically.
这样能显示出离婚
So it just goes to show that divorce
不一定要以两边闹翻结束
doesn't have to end in acrimony.
斯图尔特
Stuart?
午饭
Lunch?
-好 -我来帮你
- Yep. - I'll give you a hand.
玛丹娜怎么面对这些事的呢
And how has Madonna coped with all this?
玛丹娜的适应能力很强
Oh, Madonna has tremendous resilience.
天啊
Oh, God!
-你在干吗 -在找吃的
- What are you doing? - Looking for food!
我们家有许多吃的
We've got a load of posh nibs over at ours.
去拿过来吧
Just bring it all over.
我留在儿 充当忠实的丈夫
I'll stay here and do the whole devoted husband thing.
太扯淡了 我今天本该开始新的工作
This is ridiculous. I'm supposed to be starting a new job today!
拜托 斯图尔特 你当接待员有点老了
Oh, come on, Stuart. You're a bit old to be a receptionist.
是前台主管
Front desk executive!
最喜欢的格莱姆艺术家
Favourite Grime artist?
-该死 -走吧 玛丹娜
- Fuck me. - Come on, Madonna.
我们要从你妈家里拿点吃的
We need to get some food from your mum's.
萨吉
Shaggy.
这个游♥行♥是要干什么
So, what was this march about?
反抗灭绝
Extinction Rebellion.
我应该是地球母亲的血
I'm supposed to be the blood of Mother Earth,
但现在 按你说的 我只是一个蛋蛋
but now, according to you, I'm just a bollock.
抱歉 我当时慌了 我觉得你挺好的
Sorry about that. I panicked. I think you look great.
随便了
Whatever.
喂
Hello!
对 抱歉 我想打电♥话♥的
Yeah. Sorry, I meant to call.
对 家里面出了点事
Yeah. There's been a bit of a family crisis.
有人拿走了我的裤子 是我邻居的裤子
Someone took me trousers. Well, me neighbour's trousers.
我没有开玩笑
I am taking this seriously.
我需要这份工作
I need this job.
我能明天开始吗
Can't I start tomorrow?
一次机会 哪有这回事
One strike? That's not even a thing.
我还能有一次机会吗
Can't I have another strike?
你好
Hello?
去他妈的
Oh, fucking hell!
天啊 泰德
Jesus, Ted.
他们把电视拿走了
They've taken the telly.
-没事 你可以在我家看 -你的电视太小了
- Don't worry, you can watch telly at mine. - Your telly's tiny.
法警把所有吃的全拿走了
Oh, the bailiffs have taken all the food!
他欠了多少钱
How much does he owe?
-不知道 -我都快为他感到难过了
- Don't know. - I almost feel sorry for him.
-我不会 -我也不会
- I don't. - No, neither do I.
你觉得他们会把房♥子也收走吗
Do you think they're gonna take the house?
如果收走了 你可以过来跟我住
If they do, you can come and live with me.
查理叔叔走了 你可以住你原来的房♥间了
Uncle Charlie's gone now, so you can have your old room back.
就像往日一样
Be like the old days.
去... 你的
Fuck...that.
只是说说而已
Just a thought.
我们去看看桑迪和巴里有没有什么吃的吧
Let's see if Sandy and Barry have got any food.
我在大学也抗♥议♥过
I did a bit of protesting at uni.
他们要关图书馆
They were closing down the library.
所以呢
So?
就是说 参与一件事挺好的
I was just saying. It's good to be part of something.
为正义而战
Fight for justice.
支持一项事业
Get behind a cause.
他们把它改成夜店了
They turned it into a nightclub.
后来烧毁了 现在变成公♥寓♥了
Burnt down. Block of flats now.
马丁·坎普有一套
Martin Kemp owns one.
英国演员
谁
Who?
怎么了
All right?