半独立屋（2020）

I'm not staying in a B&B.
那旅客之家怎么样
What about a Travelodge?
那里不能按♥摩♥
They don't have spas!
那你想去哪儿 艾普尔
Where do you want to stay, April?
梅森别♥墅♥
Maison Chic.
那一晚上要300英镑
It's 300 quid a night.
行吧
Fine.
看 所以我们能相处得这么好
See? This is why we're getting on so well.
这段时间你真是太爽快了
You're so impulsive these days.
爸爸
Daddy?
波莎都要滚到湖里去了
Bertha's rolling towards the lake.
-我得挂了 拜拜 -把电♥话♥给我
- I've got to go. Bye. - Give me that!
好了 碎石在哪里
Right. Where's this gravel?
你在搞我吗
You are fucking joking?
哪一袋才是
Which one is it?
我记不清了 都已经过去六个月了
I can't remember, can I? It was six months ago.
谁会囤这么多碎石
Who keeps this much gravel?
我只想要三袋 但是我手抖了
I only wanted three, but I double clicked.
他们不让我退货
They won't take them back.
那我们都检查一遍
We'll just have to go through the lot, then.
别傻站着 帮我一把
Don't just stand there. Give us a hand.
-什么 我膝盖都这样了 -你膝盖又没什么毛病
- What, with my knees? - Nothing wrong with your knees.
我落枕了
I slept funny.
你 动作快点
You, get on with it.
你吃的什么药
What do you take?
什么
What?
来治你的肠胃 肠易激综合征 我的药没用
For your guts. IBS. I can't shift mine.
我不清楚 姜
I don't know. Ginger?
-那有用吗 -胡说八道
- Oh, does that work? - Does it bollocks!
你真是个混♥蛋♥ 查理
You're a prick, Charlie.
你该对我多有点信心
You should have more faith in me.
-为什么 -我什么时候让你失望过了
- Based on what? - When have I ever let you down?
你一直在让我失望
Always! All the time!
除了这些呢
Apart from that?
对你来说没事
It's all right for you.
你的字典里就没有责任两个字
You drift through life with no responsibilities.
-几周前我还给你修剪过草坪 -这是人工草皮
- I mowed your lawn a few weeks back. - It's Astroturf!
那我至少清理了
All right, I hoovered it, then!
是我天天去上班挣钱
I'm the one that has to go to work every day,
为了让你在电视机前消磨一下午
just so you can spend the afternoon wanking in front of the telly.
真可怜 看看我的工作 我的大电视
Poor you! Look at me with me job, me big telly,
我的大房♥子和大鱼缸
me nice house and me fish tank!
你什么都不知道
You've got no idea.
体验十分钟我的生活吧
Try being me for ten minutes.
-那把枪给我们 -闭嘴
- Give us the gun, then. - Shut up!
我的背好疼
Oh, my back hurts.
赶紧的
Just get on with it!
你等下好好泡个澡
Make sure you have a nice bath later.
吃几片布洛芬 我就是那么做的
Take a couple of ibuprofen. That's what I do.
曾经这么做的 直到他们收走了我的房♥子
Used to, till they took the house.
现在我的老婆孩子都睡在肮脏的床垫上
Now my wife and kids are in a shitty bedsit,
我还要在桑斯伯里的沼泽里洗衣服
and I have to sink-wash in a Sainsbury's bog.
用洗手液来洗我的内♥裤♥
Scrub my boxers with hand soap.
斯图
Stu!
-该死 -你好吗 巴兹
- Shit. - All right, Baz?
查理 好久不见
Charlie! Long time, no see.
你们在干什么
What's all this, then?
紧张兮兮地给你的草坪铺石头
Gravelling the lawn in your jimjams?
我真是太没礼貌了
Oh, how rude of me.
巴里·福斯金
Barry Foskin.
-米克 -贵姓啊
- Mick. - Mick what?
米克·莫克
Mick... Mock.
你不是萨尔福德·莫克家的吧
You're not one of the Salford Mocks, are you?
我在76年跟他们有过一次冲突
Had a run-in with them in '76.
所以 你在干什么啊
So, what you doing?
米克的
Mick's...
米克的猫死了
Mick's... cat's dead.
是啊 我们在埋葬它
Yeah. We're just burying it.
埋到碎石中
In gravel.
他住楼房♥ 没有花♥园♥
He lives in a tower block. No garden.
-阁楼套房♥ 家庭最佳选择 -是啊
- Penthouse. Family loves it. - Yeah.
我懂你的痛苦 兄弟
Feel your pain, dude.
我们也还在为心爱的道尔哀悼
Still mourning the loss of our beloved Doyle.
我们是在马路边发现她的
Found her on the hard shoulder.
至少被五六十辆车碾压过
Must have been squashed by a good 50 or 60 cars.
可怜的小家伙看起来就像个毛茸茸的薄饼
Poor thing looked like a hairy pancake.
有什么事吗 巴里
What do you want, Barry?
米克 挡住路的车应该不是你的吧
Mick, I don't suppose that's your car blocking my drive?
日产地♥产♥ 后座有羽绒被 外卖♥♥纸盒
Nissan estate? Duvet in the back, takeaway cartons,
空的包装袋
empty miniatures?
是的 那是我的车
Yes, yes, it's mine.
能麻烦你挪一下吗 米克
You wouldn't mind shifting it, would you, Mick?
我的朋友 特里 要把车
Only my mate, Terry, needs to get his car
停到离房♥子近一点的地方
as close to the house as possible,
他的背和手臂都不太灵活
what with his gammy back and arms.
我现在没空 得把这件事搞定
I can't really do it right now. I need to get this shit sorted.
-我可以去 -不行
- I'll do it. - No!
你去吧
You do it.
先说好 我喝了不少酒
Full disclosure, I have had a couple of Camparis.
知道了 去吧
Yeah, just do it!
拜托
Please.
拜托 巴里
Yeah. Please, Barry.
给我吧 给你句忠告
Right you are. Word to the wise --
在夏日 埋在碎石里的死猫会散发出臭气
dead cats in gravel do kick up a pong during the summer months.
调大一点 到11
Turn it up! 11!
-来跳一段啊 巴里 -尤兰达
- Come and shake that booty, Barry! - Yolanda!
两步探戈舞
Tango in two ticks.
莉兹来电
莉兹
Liz?
我是巴里 斯图尔特的邻居
It's Barry, Stuart's neighbour.
我想对你的猫表示哀悼
Can I just say, condolences on the cat.
我能感受到你的痛苦
I feel your pain.
西蒙
Simon?
不 我想你打错电♥话♥了
No. I think you've got the wrong number.
这是米克的手♥机♥
This is Mick's phone.
米克
Mick.
你可能想给西蒙打电♥话♥ 但你打通了米克
You may well have called Simon but you've got through to Mick.
我是巴里
Well, Barry.
有时候确实会这样
Yeah, they can do that sometimes.
科技啊 莉兹 我能说什么
Yeah. Technology, Liz, what can I say?
再打一次把
Try again.
没事 没关系
No. No problem at all.
一切顺利
All the best!
喂 莉兹
Hello, Liz.
还是我
Yeah, it's me again.
你老公有没有一辆日产地♥产♥
Does your husband own a Nissan estate?
经常吃外卖♥♥
Eat a lot of takeaways?
没错...
Right...
欧美文坛一位家喻户晓的人物
是一位出色的多产作家 迄今已有七十多部作品问世
她尤其擅长创作犯罪心理小说
其中很多作品都在国际上获得了很高声誉 被誉为"犯罪小说女王"
这可真是鲁斯·伦德尔的情节
Well, this is a proper Ruth Rendell.
不是 他的名字肯定死米克
No. Definitely said his name was Mick.
米克·莫克 有印象吗
Mick Mock. Ring any bells?
是的 听起来有点像编的
Yeah. It does sound a bit made up.
等一下
Oh, hang on a minute.
我觉得谜团要解开了 莉兹
I think the mists are beginning to clear, Liz.
我不太想说
I don't really like to say.
你要理解 这只是我的个人想法
Well, it's just my opinion, you understand,
本意为 在古怪的河流中摸索鳟鱼
出自莎士比亚喜剧《一报还一报》
是一个隐喻 "摸索"是字面意思 而"古怪"被引申为"情妇"
但他肯定是出轨了
but he's obviously groping for trout in a peculiar river.
这是莎士比亚说的 利兹