半独立屋（2020）

Semi-Detached S01E03

Part 4 Sept. 15, 2020, 1:04 p.m.

好了
That's it.
这或许就是我人生的低谷
This might be the lowest point of my life.
对我来说刚刚好
About average for me.
洗手
Hands!
-凯特 -别摸我
- Kate... - No!
-我十分感... -没事
- I'm really, really apprec... - Yeah.
-我的前妻 -你好
- My ex-wife. - Hello.
你去哪儿了
Where have you been?
斯图尔特不舒服
Stuart's not well.
罗恩死了所以...
Well, Ron's dead, so...
这是我听过的最有趣的事情
That is the funniest thing I've ever heard.
斯图尔特我邀请麦克下次来英国
Oh, Stuart, I've invited Mike to stay at ours
住在我们家
when he's next in the country.
-真的吗 -很乐意
- Really? - Love to.
带上外卖♥♥ 拿瓶洗发水一起开心开心
Cheeky little takeout, bottle of shampoo, slap on some funk!
非常感谢你们能来
Thank you all so much for coming.
在我们去甲板上之前
Before we go out onto the deck,
我想说两句
I just wanted to say a few words.
罗恩是航海之人
Ron was a man of the sea.
他在水上和水下工作
He worked on it and under it and...
过一会儿他就会永远住在海里
later... would live beside it.
或许他回到他最热爱的地方
So perhaps it's fitting he's returned to the place
才是最合适的
that he loved the most.
一个有着至高荣誉的海军军官先在福克兰群岛服役
A highly decorated naval officer serving in the Falklands
后来加入了商船队
and later in the Merchant Navy.
他是个勇敢的值得尊敬的人
He was a brave and honourable man.
客舱广播
Passenger announcement.
请绿色斯柯达明锐的车主
Will the owner of a green Skoda Octavia,
车牌号♥DJ5TU
registration number DJ 5TU
马上回到你车旁边
please return to your vehicle immediately?
谢谢
Thank you!
这不是你的车吗
Isn't that your car?
糟糕
Fuck!
混♥蛋♥
Bellend.
天啊不
Oh. God, no.
死定了
Oh, fucking hell!
没必要搜查
There's no need to search it!
-你说什么先生 -没必要搜查
- Excuse me, sir? - There's no need to search it!
你能告诉我你的名字吗先生
Can you tell me your name, please, sir?
斯图尔特·奥佩尔
Stuart Hooper.
奥佩尔先生我在过去的半小时里
Mr. Hooper, I've been observing
一直在观察你的行为举止
your behaviour over the past half an hour
你的行为十分可疑
and you've been acting very suspiciously.
我腹泻了
I've had diarrhoea.
在你车里吗
In your car?
-没有 -你还有什么信息想告诉我们
- No. - Is there anything else you'd like to share with us?
没有
No.
鉴于你无法解释自己的可疑行为
Given that you can't explain your unusual behaviour,
你让我们别无选择只能搜查你的车
you leave us no alternative but to search your vehicle.
不
No!
我偷偷带了点东西上来
I have smuggled something on board. Ok?
现在还在吗
Have you now?
这是什么
What's this, then?
我知道走私这种东西违背海事法
I know it's against maritime law to smuggle this sort of thing,
但是...
but...
我本来是想在我女朋友生日的时候送给她
I was going to give them to my girlfriend for her birthday.
老天啊
Good Jesus Christ!
这是你吗
Is that you?
是
Yeah.
我的天
Oh, my God!
发生了什么斯图那是什么
What's happening, Stu? What are they?
是啊这是什么
Yeah. What is that?
我觉得这是...
I think that's, um...
-是的这是我的屁♥股♥ -斯图尔特
- Yeah. That's my anus. - Oh, Stuart!
-不 -这太恶心了
- No! - That is fucked up.
这也太低俗了
That is utterly rank!
这是...
And this...?
看着像我的鸡♥巴♥
Looks like my penis.
这个呢
And that?
蛋蛋
Ball bag.
我不知道这是什么
I don't know what that is.
我猜是会阴
Perineum... would be my guess.
天啊爸比
Oh, Daddy Bear.
我们还会搜到别的什么吗
Is there anything else we're likely to find?
没了
No. No, that's, um...
先生
Sir?
其实...
Actually, there...
我上衣口袋还有一些
are a couple more in my top pocket there.
你们会逮捕我吗
Are you going to arrest me?
不会
No!
我们在找人体带毒者
We're looking for people traffickers.
恶心的变♥态♥
Disgusting pervert.
是我
Yeah.
♪ How many more years ♪
♪ Have I got to let you dog me around? ♪
♪ How many more years ♪
♪ Have I got to let you dog me around? ♪
♪ Get 'em all ♪
♪ If anybody asks about me ♪
♪ Just tell 'em I walked out on ♪