扑克脸（2023）

Poker Face S02E05

Part 3 May 27, 2025, 10:08 p.m.

九局上半第一球开打！
First pitch of the ninth underway.
短打！
And it's a bunt.
邓迪接到应该稳出局的球
Dundee fields what should be an easy out
结果...直接扔到外野去了？
and... throws it into the outfield?
拜托啦卡尔
Come on, Carl.
桑德伯一跤跌倒
Sandberg trips
球也喷了出去
and throws the ball into the ground.
杰克冲上去不对扑了个空
Jackson picks up the ball-- no, he muffs it.
安全上垒！
Safe!
惨了！
Shit!
完了！
Dammit!
惨了！
Shit!
该死！ -打好点好吗！
Damn it! - Play better!
掉球才对赞赞！
Yes. Yes. Yes.
「天鹅绒罐头干酪公园」一片低气压
It's a solemn scene at Velvety Canned Cheese Park
我们心爱的干酪勇士
as our beloved Cheesemongers are now
已经成了小联盟史上的一大笑柄
officially the biggest losers in minor league history.
泥镇今夜笼罩在沉闷之中三振出局
Truly, there is no joy in Mudville tonight.
我们最烂！我们最烂！
We're the worst! We're the worst!
烂爆了！烂到骨子里！烂透了！
We suck! We suck! We suck!
♪ 我有个兄弟当年球场无人能敌 ♪
♪ I had a friend was a big baseball player ♪
♪ 那是我们的高中岁月 ♪
♪ Back in high school ♪
♪ 他投球让人拍案叫绝 ♪
♪ He could throw that... ♪
你丢掉那块有下药的口香糖了吧？
You got rid of the spiked gum, right?
完蛋
Shit.
在那里？
Come on.
在那里？！
Come on.
不妙
Shit.
糟了
Shit.
菲利斯嘿！
Felix, hey.
我找不到该死的车钥匙！
I can't find my damn car keys.
好球小子这场输得不甘心啊
Hell of a game, kid. Sorry about that loss.
这是你用过的？
Is this what you used?
用过？
Used?
你跟你那群狐朋狗友想在我口香糖里下药
You and your buddies, you tried to spike my gum
把我踢出比赛？！
to get me out of the game?
什么？我们干嘛要这么做？
What? Why would we do that?
因为你们根本想放水
Because you wanted to throw it.
我们可是小联盟史上最烂的球队耶
We're like the worst team in minor league history.
就算真要放水
Even if we were going to throw the game,
你又怎么会看得出来？
how would you even tell?
就你那朋友卡尔
Because your buddy, Carl,
局间休息偷算账
tried doing a little math in my notebook between innings
在那边盘算要把
trying to figure out how to split up
3,136,018元
3136018
分成5等份
five ways.
你也逃不掉他已经把你们名字查清楚了
You're in it. He broke down your names.
靠卡尔出包啦！
Goddammit, Carl, shit!
他算错了
And he got the math wrong.
没事我们还能补救
Okay, w-we can make this right.
怎么救？
Wh-what's it going to take?
今天站上投手丘我像去了个地方
Out on the mound today, I-I went to some place,
一个只敢梦想的地方
a place I've only dreamed of,
那里上帝的脸
where-where God's face
从清澈水面慢慢浮现
speaks from the crystalline waters
上帝的天使还变成了猴子
and his angels manifest in monkey form.
菲利斯你到底在胡说什么？
What the hell are you talking about, Felix?
我不打棒球了
I'm done with baseball.
我要搬去伯利兹
Yeah, I wanna move to Belize...
找上帝
and find God
顺便吸点毒
and take drugs...
前提是今天赢的钱
after you give me the $3 million
300万全给我
you won on today's game.
拜托啦兄弟！
Come on, man!
你说的是我们的毕生积蓄
That's our life savings you're talking about.
有的人还要养家庭
Some of these guys got families.
这样吧分你一半行不行？
Look, why don't we give you half?
你去你的伯利兹我们也算扯平
You could go to Belize and we'll call it a day.
要嘛你给我全部的
Either you give me
3百万买♥♥我闭嘴
the entire three million to keep me quiet,
不然我把证据送去警局
or I bring the evidence to the cops
你们一毛都别想拿
and you lose it all anyway.
「火箭」罗素！
"Rocket" Russ!
靠！
Shit!
这样行吧？
You done?
应该可行
Yeah, yeah, I guess I am.
啪
Smack.
明天我会跟你说
I'll give you instructions
怎么把钱汇过来
on how to wire me the money tomorrow.
钱一到帐我就交出证据
Once it's in my account, I'll give you the evidence.
可以吧？罗素你说得没错
Alright? And Russ, you were so right.
时间从不留情
Time gets us all.
你既有天分又有时间
But you had all the time and the talent
比肩传奇青出于蓝
as any of the greats.
结果你自毁前程
You just blew it.
天啊看看你
Jesus, man, look at you.
我真不懂你怎么面对自己
I don't even know how you live with yourself.
我的天
My God.
我的快速球还活着我还撑得住
My fastball, I got it!
我还有
I still got...
靠
Shit.
嘿
Hey.
嘿
Hey.
好了
Alright,
我对这鸟事有点感情了
now I'm like emotionally invested in this shit.
拜托
Come on.
我还是搞不懂
Yeah, I still don't get it.
你到底是干嘛的？
What's your job?
我想是
I wanna say,
行政助理之类的？
administrative assistant or something.
错误代码10 网络联机异常
Error 10, category network error.
早就预料到了
Yeah, I already knew that.
那你怎么会喜欢？
And why does that appeal?
我上个月不是疯狂补看
Well, I told you that I binge watched
《办公室》吗？对吧？
"The Office" last month, right?
你没说
No.
路走得孤单我想想感受
The road was getting lonely and I figured,
一点人情味
community,
每天那几张脸起码比对墙发呆热闹
same people every day, entertaining dynamics.
我该试试办公室生活
I should try office life.
有点蠢对吧？ -我懂
Dumb, right? - I get it.
有时候得来一记醒脑的巴掌
Sometimes we need an inspirational smack.
这家公♥司♥啊
So I guess this company,
疫情一来全改远距
they, they all started working remotely
之后人就没回来
during COVID and they never came back,
只剩我一个坐镇
and they need, one person in the office
技术上说不算缺人
so it's not technically vacant,
你懂啦保个平安
you know, for insurance purposes.
这点子够蠢我该辞职才对
This was a dumb idea. I should quit.
我一路走来
My experience,
全靠连环巴掌敲醒我
it's the smack after the smack
才知道要留心点
that you gotta watch for.
老实说我还搞不懂你什么意思
I'm not fully sure what that means, man.
我
I...
啊哈！
A-ha!
哈！
Ha!
欠打！
Smack.
这是你的吧？
This is yours, I think, right?
多谢
Thank you.
我得问一下
I just have to ask,