天堂镇警局（2018）

Paradise PD S03E11

Part 4 Dec. 29, 2022, 11:34 a.m.

我就是加拉格尔!
I am Gallagher!
你以为有人类的脸长这样吗?
You thought that was a human face?
是我创造出了胡萝卜头这个人物
I created the Carrot Top persona
在我的门票开始卖♥♥不动之后
when my ticket sales started to fade
90年代中期人们都认识到了我很差劲
once people realized my act sucked, mid-'90s.
如今我会除掉任何威胁我道具喜剧帝国的人
Now, I eliminate any threat to my prop comedy empire,
正因为这个比恩斯臭水你必须得死
which is why you, Beans Stinkwater, must die.
菲兹使用你的原力…尬笑喜剧
Fitz, use the force…d comedy.
看我不把你戳成个…
I think it's you who must
“色子”
die.
你竟敢对我挑起道具对决?
You dare challenge me to a prop-off?
那你就接我这招断头“锁”!
Well, let's see how you like my head-lock!
绝不是我“排”山倒海的对手!
That's nothing compared to my karate chop!
让你尝尝流星蝴蝶“结”的厉害!
See if you like the taste of my L-bow!
可恶!
Damn it!
这是我头一回表演不冷场
This is the first time my act wasn't painful.
喜欢我这招“半纳尔逊”夹吗?
Like my half Nelson?
隔离!
Apartheid!
我不跟你过家家了
I'm tired of toying with you.
见识一下狂人♥大♥锤!
Meet Sledge-O-Matic!
请各位掌声欢迎比恩斯臭水和…
Please welcome to the stage Beans Stinkwater and…
我的天! 特邀嘉宾加拉格尔?
Holy shit! Special guest Gallagher?
只能有一个
There can only be one.
我是被选中之人!
I am worthy!
不要啊! 你拿起了狂人♥大♥锤!
No! You wield the Sledge-O-Matic.
就像“道具预言”中说的那样!
It is the prop-phecy!
瞧瞧这个我刚编出来的戏剧段子
Check out this comedy routine I just made up.
你知道么这还是我头一回享受了《曼西亚的“脑”洞》呢
You know, this is the first time I ever enjoyed the Mind of Mencia.
记得那个节目不? 有人么? 没有?
Remember that show? Anybody? No?
记得!
Yeah!
就他妈一个人好吧
One fucking guy. Okay.
你躲哪里去了? 你这条嗅屁♥股♥的死公狗!
Where are you, you ass-sniffing fuck-hound?
我就在这儿呢宝贝
I'm right here, baby.
不是叫你卡马罗鲍勃
Not you, Camaro Bob!
受到晚点操你呀宝贝
Copy that. Fuck you later, baby.
必须…要坚持…到桌上
Must… make it… to table.
你在这儿呀你这个偷裤贼!
There you are, you fuckin' brief thief!
把我的幸运内♥裤♥还给我不然我就宰了你这小混球!
Gimme back my lucky drawers before they kill your little ass!
是时候兑现了!
It's time for me to cash out.
打扰一下达斯提?
Excuse me, Dusty?
大赌客在这边兑现
High rollers cash out over here.
你手上总共有830万的筹码
Your grand total is 8.3 million in chips,
这就意味着你可以兑现成
which means you can cash out
这里任何类似于查克芝士餐厅的奖品
for any of these Chuck E. Cheese-type prizes. Okay?
你肯定把我当大傻♥逼♥了吧如果你以…
You must think I'm a stupid-ass fuck if you--
这不是《小马宝莉》里的萍琪派香香橡皮擦?
Is that a My Little Pony scented Pinkie Pie eraser?
我要这块橡皮擦! 快给我! 我要闻!
I want the eraser! Gimme! Gimme! I wanna smell!
草莓!
Strawberry!
“不可食用”
"Do not eat."
滚蛋吧
Fuck off.
凯文我真的遗憾我们没能做成爱
Kevin, I'm so sorry we couldn't have sex.
我真的很喜欢你
I really care about you.
我们已经把能试的都试过了
Hey, we-- we tried everything we could.
你知道么吉娜也许你和我注定只能做普通朋友
You know, Gina, maybe you and I are supposed to just be friends.
吉娜… 你确定要做吗?
Gina, are you sure about this?
我不在乎有多大风险一定要把子弹取出来
I don't care about the risks. Take that bullet out.
她快要不行了! 手术进行得很不顺利!
We're losing her! The procedure's not working!