天堂镇警局（2018）

Paradise PD S03E09

Part 4 Dec. 29, 2022, 11:33 a.m.

屎球了
Shitballs.
让我看看…是有
Let me check… Yup.
恶心啊!
Ew!
他们人太多了!
There's too many of them!
他们太强大了!
They're too powerful!
就连我的火球也起不了什么作用!
Not even my fireballs are effective!
我们死定了! 不要啊!
We're dead! No!
到死我也没闻到人类的阴♥道♥啊!
And I still have never smelled a human vagina!
就是说你闻过非人类的阴♥道♥?
So you've smelled non-human vaginas?
就当我…咱能不深究么?
Let's just-- Can we move on?
你就不能做点什么吗凯文?
Can't you do something, Kevin?
我还以为这是你唯一擅长的东西呢
I thought this was the one thing you were good at.
我施放…侏儒彩虹闪光术!
I cast Gnome Rainbow Twinkle!
刚才你太厉害了凯文!
That was badass, Kevin!
我上回见到小矮妖口吐彩虹还是在…
I haven't seen a pasty leprechaun with a mouthful of rainbows since--
对爱尔兰同性恋的侮辱因时长有限被砍了
The Irish gay slur was cut for time.
那是什么鬼东西啊?
What the fuck is that?
是犹格索托斯我妈在它手上!
It's Yog-Sothoth, and it's got my mom!
我们去干掉他!
Let's get him!
啊! 该死的!
Whoa! Damn it!
该死的! 这在动画片里看起来要容易多了
Damn it! This looked a lot easier on the cartoon.
到底发生了什么事?
What the hell just happened?
朋友们肯定是嗨得神魂颠倒了
You friendlies must've been tripping balls
因为你们吸了卡马罗鲍勃的放射性大♥麻♥ 宝贝!
from inhaling Camaro Bob's radioactive ganj, baby!
所以一切都是假的?
So, everything was fake?
可我们的武器…
But our weapons--
恶心!
Ew!
看来你们是撞上了卡马罗鲍勃那一箱子的假鸡♥巴♥
Looks like you ran across Camaro Bob's ice chest full of dildos.
那与我们作战的哥布林是?
What about the goblins we battled?
可这依旧无法解释那只抓着我妈的巨大怪物啊
But that still doesn't explain the giant monster that has my mom.
妈!
Mom!
天呐!
Oh God!
是这样的我们多年前编出了怪物这件事
See, we made up the monsters years ago
好让你们小孩子别来我们的“1♥8♥禁♥林”
to keep you kids out of "fuck forest."
这样我们大人才能有机会搞这种毒品吸着大腿开着屁♥股♥翘着
That way us grown-ups can have drug-fueled, thigh-slappin', ass-tappin'
典型的美国乱♥交♥派对宝贝!
all-American orgies, baby!
我们能回家了吗妈?
Can we just go home, Mom?
等一下亲爱的马上就好了
In a minute, honey! Almost done here.
凯文人呢?
Where's Kevin?
呃我想他还处在幻觉之中
Oof, I think he's still hallucinating.
我要搞你怪物!
I'm gonna get you, monster!
看我搞死你!
I'm gonna get you good!
我要把你的触手一条一条地撸下来!
I'll yank off your tentacles one by one!
它们喷出毒液来了!
They're squirting poison now!
喷到我嘴巴里了!
It's getting in my mouth!
嘿卡马罗鲍勃我还要多买♥♥一点你这切尔诺贝利大♥麻♥
Hey, Camaro Bob, I need to buy some more of that Chernobyl weed.
慢着!
Not so fast!
达斯提你来这里干嘛啊?
Dusty, what the hell are you doing here?
还有这到底是谁啊? 演谁呢你 G罩杯神探么?
And what are you supposed to be? What is this, Inspector Fatshit?
没错最后我是选了这名字
Yes, that's what I landed on.
我是来这里阻止你买♥♥这种馋嘴大♥麻♥的
And I'm here to stop you from getting more of this munchie weed.
站在原地不许动!
Hold it right there!
出击! G罩杯手臂!
Go Go Fatshit Arm!
好疼! 天呐好疼啊!
It hurts! Oh God, that hurts!
这味道是怎么回事?
What's that smell?
让我感觉怪怪的我有点…
It's making me feel funny. I kinda…
达斯提你为什么这么看着我?
Dusty, why are you looking at me like that?
甜甜圈甜甜圈甜甜圈!
♪ Oh, Doughnut, doughnut, doughnut! ♪
甜甜圈甜甜圈甜甜圈!
♪ Doughnut, doughnut, doughnut! ♪
把甜甜圈给我! 上!
♪ Get me doughnut! Go! ♪
出击! G罩杯火箭鞋!
Go Go Fatshit Rocket Shoes!
好疼! 天呐好疼啊!
It hurts! Oh God, that hurts!
马上就到了
Almost there.
你马上就要见到你操蛋的大惊喜了
You're about to get your big fucking surprise.
等等这什么鬼东西?
Wait. What the hell is this?
这是一场大腿开着屁♥股♥翘着典型的美国乱♥交♥派对宝贝!
It's a thigh-slappin', ass-tappin', all-American orgy, baby!
这还真是一场操蛋蛋的惊喜啊! 我太喜欢了!
This is a big fucking surprise! I love it!
我要把我的每一分钱都捐给重建天堂镇计划
I'm giving the Rebuild Paradise Initiative every penny I've got!
谢谢你霍普森! 谢谢你! 我现在就给凯伦打电♥话♥…
Thank you, Hopson! Thank you! I'm gonna call Karen right--
两美分我就只剩下这些了
Two pennies. It's all the money I got left.
跟大奶女士说她没钱了还有我想离婚!
Tell big-tit lady she's broke and I want a divorce!
现在这是霍普森的乱♥交♥了各位
This is a Hopson orgy now, people!
给我拿一池矿物油一条生皮套索
Get me a tub of mineral oil, a rawhide lasso,
两打无毛的日本…
two dozen hairless Japanese--
霍普森的乱♥交♥因时长有限被砍了
The Hopson orgy was cut for time.
谢谢你们帮我把妈找回来各位
Thanks for getting my mom back, guys.
不客气
You're welcome.
我好希望卡马罗鲍勃能无套干我妈
I wish Camaro Bob would raw dog my mom.
喔你们的妈妈我都上过宝贝
Oh, I've pumped the pipe in all your moms, baby.
有几个爸爸也上过
Some of your dads too.
要是在摔跤时不小心插♥进♥去的就不能算搞基宝贝
It ain't gay if it slips in while you're wrestling, baby.
他太棒了
He's awesome.
真棒
That's great.
唉我们来吧召唤魔法飞弹
Well, let's do this. Conjure Magic Missile.
怎么了凯文?
What's wrong, Kevin?
唉这个战士爱上了一位女子而这位女子不爱他
Alas, the warrior is in love with a maiden who does not share his affection.
原谅我
Forgive me.
这让我想到了我姐姐那甜美的…
You see, it reminds me of my own sweet sister's
小胸脯
breast buds.
你们好呀小黄瓜鸡♥巴♥们?
What's up, ye pickle dicks?
吉娜! 你来这儿做什么?
Gina! What are you doing here?
我来这儿跟你们一起玩的
I'm here to join you guys.
你说的对这个呆呆的失败者玩的实境角色扮演很好玩
You were right. This dorky loser LARP shit is a blast.
而且我必须得说你昨天的表现挺牛逼的
And I gotta say, you were pretty badass yesterday.
也许我应该多给某些东西一点机会
Maybe I need to give more things a chance.
好了我们开始吧我还从网上买♥♥了把真的阔剑呢
Now, c'mon, let's play. I even bought a real broadsword off the internet.
真的阔剑?
Real broadsword?
再瞧瞧这个
And check this out.
啊哦
Uh-oh.
我们还傻等什么呢?
What are we waiting for?
他妈“实色演”起来啊!
Let's fucking LARP!
我们快躲进这个“免费糖果”商店里去!
Let's hide in this "Free Candy" store!
我真应该被禁止来这个公园才对
I really should be banned from this park.