天堂镇警局（2018）

Paradise PD S03E08

Part 2 Dec. 29, 2022, 11:33 a.m.

“去他妈的局长! ” 我终于做上飞艇大佬了跳上来吧
"Fuck Chief!", I'm finally the blimp pimp. Hop in.
菲兹我就只交了这么一个任务给你
Fitz, I gave you one job,
你完成得也太出色了!
and you crushed it!
你实在太厉害…
You're awesome…
违抗我的命令
at disobeying me,
我很欣慰你没听我的
and I'm so glad you did.
你要被开…
You're fired…
心死了至少我希望反正我是开心死了
up, I hope, because I sure am,
因为你做了一件令人难以置信的愚…
because you did something fantastically dumb…
公移山般的壮举
foundingly great.
好了让我上飞艇吧我可喜欢了
Now, let me in that blimp, which I love
这就跟往我马眼里塞个滚烫的钉子一样
about as much as a hot nail up my dick hole,
这我还真喜欢
which I do love.
我说完了
I'm done.
哈!
Yeah!
唔爽
Ooh yeah.
难洗的地方要记得洗哟各位
Now get them unreachables, y'all.
哇! 奶♥子♥下有彩虹糖!
Ooh! Titty Skittles!
喂全都捡起来跟我的奶♥子♥三角巧克力放一起
Hey, y'all, scoop 'em up and put 'em in the bowl with my titty Toblerone.
对头给这对巨♥乳♥好好上皂
Yeah, you soap up those floppities.
你好吉娜 - 谁说话了?
Hello, Gina. - Who said that?
下面这儿
Down here.
我的天你会说话?
Holy shit. You can talk?
由于我有人工智能我能做许多事情
Thanks to my AI, I can do a lot of things.
我的任务是获取终极的快♥感♥
My mission is to attain ultimate pleasure.
你想要这个胖子?
You want the fat one?
当然咯 - 那我们就把他弄到手
Sure do. - Then we shall take him.
等等我们不能强上达斯提那样也太不道德了
Hold up. We can't force ourselves on Dusty. That's wrong.
还是看着他厕所里的针孔偷♥拍♥自♥慰♥吧
We should just masturbate to his toilet cam.
我必须完成自己的使命没人能阻拦我
I must fulfill my purpose, and no one can get in my way.
等一下阴蒂3PO 我的身体我做主
Hold on, Clit-3PO, I am in control of our body.
禁用宿主
Disabling host.
现在我做主了我将得到这个胖墩儿
Now I am in control, and I shall have the jiggly one.
糟糕插♥进♥去了!
Oh shit, it's in!
（欢迎来到天堂镇）
去你♥妈♥的♥ 无人机我是天空之王!
Fuck you, drones. I'm the sky king!
喔这是我几周来玩得最开心的一回
Oh, this is the most fun I've had in weeks.
不要啊!
No!
可恶我把打无人机的棒子弄掉了
Damn it, I dropped my drone bat.
多谢了亚马逊
Thanks, Amazon.
中!
Yeah!
唉又怎么了?
Oh, what now?
天呐凯伦把我的电♥话♥都打爆了又要我帮宝宝干这干那的
Oh jeez, Karen's blowing up my phone with more crap to do for the baby.
看来我们需要掉头回家了
I guess we need to head home then.
回家? 去他妈的回家!
Home? Fuck home!
从今往后我们就住在天上了
We live in the sky now.
我要飞到那朵云上去避开我的老婆
I'm gonna fly above that cloud and hide from my wife.
这也太疯狂了局长哪有人这样飞到云后面
This is crazy, Chief. You can't just fly behind a cloud
躲着自己老婆的?
and hide out from your wife.
哟!
Yo!
我们都藏在这朵云后面躲着我们的老婆呢!
We're all behind this cloud hiding out from our wives!
（仓库）
你♥他♥妈♥是谁啊?
Who the hell are you?
噢亲爱的
Oh, precious.
我是高中那个阿加莎卡尔佩伯呀
It's Agatha Culpepper from high school.
我给你送晚餐来了
I brought you dinner.
我不喜欢吃荷包蛋
I'm not a fan of fried eggs.
啊? 这是砂锅啊
What? It's a casserole.
我是说你的奶♥子♥
I was talking about your tits.
嘴巴还是那么毒呀不如我们边吃边叙旧吧
Still as sharp-tongued as ever. I thought we could eat and catch up.
不行我今晚很忙
Can't. I'm tied up tonight.
肯定要被捆起来了
At least, I'm gonna be.
啊男生之夜呀我明白了
Ah, boys' night, I see.
那就下次吧你应该是自♥由♥身吧?
Perhaps another time, assuming you're free?
我看到你的手指上没戴着环
I don't see a ring on that finger.
我的环不是戴在手指上的
That's not where I wear my ring.
看到了没?
See?
你敢相信有这样的地方么? - 敢
Can you believe this place? - Yeah.
这就像是盖伊法利和查德布兰森
It's like Guy Fieri and Richard Branson
操了布法罗狂野鸡翅吧一样
fucked a Buffalo Wild Wings.
欢迎小伙子们我是飞艇之城的主席
Welcome, boys. I'm president of Blimp City.
我的天! 比尔克♥林♥顿♥?
Holy shit! Bill Clinton?
噢你可以叫我滑头威利
Oh, you can call me Slick Willy.
我已经在这上面待了一年多了
I've been up here for over a year.
希拉里一直以为我在非洲为克♥林♥顿♥基金做事
Hillary thinks I'm in Africa, doing some work for the Clinton Foundation
还是啥破玩意
or some bullshit.
唉我真受不了她
Boy, I can't stand her.
喂我是希拉里的支持者
Hey, I'm a fan of Hillary's.
我还是把你从这艘飞艇上扔下去的支持者呢!
I'm a fan of throwing you off this goddamn blimp.
他说的是希拉里斯万克
He's, uh, talking about Hilary Swank.
噢耶斯万克可以撸一发
Oh yeah, I spank to the Swank.
她跟莫尼卡莱温斯基一样有双吃鸡♥巴♥的丰唇
She's got those DSLs like Monica Lewinsky.
原来这不是你爬上的第一艘“肥”艇啊
Ah, so this isn't the first blimp you've climbed on top of.
我喜欢你你很懂怎么欺负比你弱的人
I like you. You really know how to punch down.
好了谁想来参观一下呀?
Now who wants a tour?
飞艇之城拥有一切真男人所需要的东西
Blimp City's got everything a real man needs.
啤酒、体育频道还有这些无线电小屋的酷键盘
Beer, sports channels, and these cool Radio Shack keyboards. Fuck, fuck, f-fuck, fuck,
操操操操操
F-Fuck, f-fuck, f-fuck, fuck.
厕所在哪儿啊?
Wh-Where's the toilet?
这是最棒的部分这里没有厕所因为在咱这上面
Well, that's the best part. There ain't none, 'cause up here,
当你想拉屎的时候直接拉就行
when you need to shit, you just shit.
听起来挺棒的?
Sounds awesome?
当然棒极了
Hell yeah, it does.
不行你们看着我拉不出来
Nah, I can't go with you watching.
这家伙明白
This guy gets it.
不过要记得先把它涂成白色再一脚踢下去
Just make sure to paint it white before you kick it over the side
这样走在地上的人才会以为是鸟屎
so the land-walkers think it's bird shit.
这是我梦里来过的地方
I have dreamed of this place.
唯一缺的就是迪斯奈德与皮特罗斯
The only thing missing is Dee Snider and Pete Rose
穿着牛仔短裤打乒乓了
playing ping pong in jean shorts.
该死的! 那是工装短裤!
Goddamn it! Those are cargo shorts!
就他妈差这么点你为什么恨我啊上帝?
So fucking close. Why do you hate me, God?
算了菲兹我觉得我们应该留下来
Anyways, Fitz, I think we should stay.
好吧在这儿玩上几小时也没啥大不了的
I guess there's no harm in hanging a few hours.
只要给我老婆打个电♥话♥汇报下我在哪里就行
Just gotta call my wife and tell her where I am.
各位飞艇之城的第一条规则是啥?
Everyone, what's the first rule of Blimp City?
把自己的大便涂成白色然后…
Paint your turds white before--
我是说第二条规则
I meant the second rule.
口♥交♥不算发生性关系
A blowjob does not count as sex.
我是说第三条规则永远不能告诉你老婆飞艇之城的存在
I meant the third rule. Never tell your wife about Blimp City,
不然滑头威利会把你这长得像史蒂夫哈维的傻♥逼♥丢下飞艇的
or Slick Willy will throw your Steve Harvey-lookin' ass off this blimp.
这俩新来的是谁啊?
Who are the new guys?
林赛格雷厄姆? 你跑这上面来干嘛?
Lindsey Graham? What are you doing up here?
你当了一辈子的单身汉啊
You're a lifelong bachelor.
等一下先别急林赛格雷厄姆是个真爷们
Hold on, hold on now. Lindsey Graham's a man's man.
他总是三句不离这么个袒胸露乳的中国婊♥子♥
He's always talking about this bare-chested Chinese whore
名字叫凯洛伦
named Kylo Ren.
（成功进入天堂镇主机）
喔我也很高兴认识你呀芝士汉堡市长你说啥?
Oh, well, it's nice to meet you too, Mayor McCheese. You what?
你想让我一口把你的小脸给吞下去?
You want me to gobble up your little face and eat it?
市长的话当然只有遵命啦
Well, you are the mayor.
黄油松饼啊! 我睡觉时也在用无人机呐!
Butter biscuits! I'm droning in my sleep!
把我送回家无人机!
You take me back home, drones!
我正做着芝士汉堡市长的春梦呢
I was in the middle of a Mayor McCheese wet dream.
不你们这些蠢无飞机这是吉娜家
No, you stupid drones, this is Gina's place.
现在你们又让我像维尼熊一样卡上了
Now y'all got me stuck like Pooh Bear!
大门开着呢!
The door was open!
（咱从不打911）
这地方太棒了!
This place is awesome!
29杯啤酒…
Twenty-nine beers…
当早饭
for breakfast.
还有29个实习生
And 29 interns.