天堂镇警局（2018）

Paradise PD S03E08

Part 3 Dec. 29, 2022, 11:33 a.m.

我还以为你说女人是禁入飞艇之城的呢?
I thought you said women weren't allowed in Blimp City?
是老婆禁入
Wives aren't allowed,
但大屁♥股♥的实习生这里总是欢迎的
but big ol' bottom-heavy, lumpy-butt interns are always welcome.
听着局长这里挺好玩的但我想我的家人了
Look, Chief, this was fun, but I miss my family.
而且小泡泡嘴上全是疱疹
And Bubbles has herpes all over her mouth.
我可不知道她是从哪儿染来的
I don't know where she got that.
是时候回家了
It's time to go home.
把飞艇钥匙还给我
Give me my blimp keys.
没门! 我们以后就住在这里了
No way! We live here now.
好吧我本来不想这么干的
All right, I didn't want to do this,
我只能打电♥话♥给凯伦告诉她我们在哪里了
but I'll just call Karen and tell her where we are.
抢下他的手♥机♥!
Get his phone!
你是不可能抢走我手♥机♥的!
You are not gonna take my phone!
我们要抢走它
♪ We are going to take it ♪
对我们要抢走它
♪ Yes, we are going to take it ♪
我们要把手♥机♥从你手上抢走
♪ We are going to take Your phone from you ♪
孩子们这就是花了两万块写出来的笑话
And that, kids, is what a $20,000 joke sounds like.
我早知道滑头威利不该信任你的
I knew Slick Willy couldn't trust you.
你♥他♥妈♥是疯了吗混账东西?
Are you fucking crazy, motherfucker?
狗粮养的阿希来找我FaceTime了
Son of a bee sting, it's Hil on FaceTime.
“裤装”行动!
Code Pantsuit!
哈“昆塔”马“金特” 希拉里
Ha-kunta ma-kinte, Hillary.
信♥号♥♥不太好但我在非洲瓦坎达这儿替上帝干活呢
Connection's bad, but I'm doing God's work up here in Wakanda, Africa.
看到没? 这儿就有一个可怜的非洲小朋友
See? Here's one of those little poor African children now.
我救了他的命
I saved his life.
有一头邪恶的狮子刀疤想要吃掉他
This evil lion named Scar tried to eat him.
好嘞拜拜阿希想你哦
All right, bye-bye, Hil. Miss you.
禁欲兼吃纯素中
Keeping my dick dry and eating vegan.
希拉里2024
Hillary 2024.
我与她同睡…不同在!
I'm With Whore-- I mean, Her!
继续努力再见比尔
Keep up the good work. Bye, Bill.
看到没小子们就是为什么大家都管我叫滑头威利
And that, boys, is why they call me Slick Willy.
求你了吉娜的阴蒂
Oh, please, Gina's clit.
如果你放了我的话我不会对别人说这件事的
I'll never mention this if you just let me go.
对不起达斯提恐怕我没办法这么做
I'm sorry, Dusty. I'm afraid I can't do that.
你将让我满足胖墩儿
You are going to please me, jiggly one.
你要让我怎么满足你啊?
And how do you expect me to do that?
给我跳舞贱♥货♥
Dance for me, slut.
到底怎么回事啊?
What the hell's going on?
这钢管要把我大腿的皮搓下来了
This pole's giving my thighs an Indian burn.
住手! 噢放我下来我都开始冒烟了!
Stop it! Oh, get me down. I'm starting to smoke!
如你所愿
As you wish.
启动“屁♥股♥蛋子鼓掌”
Initiate Make Dat Ass Clap.
不! 不要求你了!
No! No, please!
我知道你不喜欢荷包蛋
I know you're not a fan of fried eggs,
那你觉得这对鸵鸟蛋怎么样?
but what do you think of these huevos gigantos?
次
Meh.
我就不明白了斯坦利
I just don't get it, Stanley.
我以为有了这玩意你就终于能注意到我了
I thought these would make you finally notice me.
自从高中以来我每天都在想着你
I've been thinking about you every day since high school.
哦我不知道你有这样的感觉
Oh, I didn't know you felt that way.
要不这样吧我俩把关系再深入一点
What do you say we go up to Lovers' Lane
就好像回到了孩童时期一样温柔地亲吻对方?
and kiss each other tenderly like we were kids again?
真的吗?
Really?
你没看到我在跟伊安麦克莱恩爵士打电♥话♥么?
Can't you see I'm on the phone with Sir Ian McKellen?
快给我滚排球奶!
Get to steppin', beach ball tits!
霍普森我受够了你这样玩弄我妈的感情
Hopson, I am tired of you playing with my mother's emotions.
我知道你想搞什么花样偷摸着接近一个无助的老太太
I know what you're doing. Cozying up to a helpless old lady
然后对她的财产下手
to get your hands on her fortune.
财…财产?
Fortune?
喂大胸女你见过仓库隔间里长啥样没啊?
Hey, tit lady, you ever seen the inside of a self-storage unit?
哇我还以为你永远也不会邀请我了呢
Why, I thought you'd never ask.
一条关于吉娜阴蒂的警报
An alert about Gina's clit.
“警告: 开启人工智能会使得阴蒂变成邪恶杀人狂”
"Warning: Enabling AI will turn clit evil and murderous.
“哭笑不得表情”
Oopsie facepalm emoji."
我得去提醒吉娜!
I gotta warn Gina!
子弹我需要你的帮助
Hey, Bullet, I need your help.
最好别跟与什么邪恶科技战斗有关
Well, it better not involve fighting some sort of evil technology.
不! 我们只是要去趟吉娜家见一个阿米什毒贩
No! We're just going to Gina's place to meet an Amish drug dealer.
那太棒了我还以为他是要来这儿跟我碰面呢
That's awesome, but I thought he was meeting me here.
新鲜搅出来的冰♥毒♥定会让你神魂颠倒的!
This fresh-churned meth will bloweth your fucking mind!
菲兹我很感激你帮我骗阿希
Fitz, I appreciate you helping me out with Hil,
所以我不把你这傻♥逼♥丢下飞艇了
so instead of throwing your ass off this blimp,
只要你先把这些大便涂白然后再扔下去就算对你的惩罚了
your punishment is to paint all these turds white before you toss them over.
我很感激你的提议但你还是把我丢下飞艇吧
I appreciate the offer, but you can throw me off the blimp.
喂喂喂我是认真的
Hey, hey, hey, this is serious.
记得再给它们裹点种子
And don't be afraid to roll them in seeds,
但别裹太多了
but not too many.
我们可不想让这好好的大便看起来跟坚果棒似的对吧?
We don't want them shits looking like KIND bars, do we?
噢我必须得逃出去
Oh, I gotta get out of here.
如果我想下半辈子都负责给大便上色的话
If I wanted to spend the rest of my life painting turds,
我早就去成人动画台做动画师了
I would've been an animator at Adult Swim.
嘿看起来我们正好在克劳福德家的正上方
Hey, it looks like we're right over the Crawford house.
妈兰德尔有没有跟你联♥系♥过? 他不回我的信息
Mom, have you heard from Randall? He's not answering my texts.
你这是在干什么啊?
What the hell are you doing?
向你母亲求爱呢你看像在干什么?
Courting your mother. What's it look like?
好恶心一条谷物棒
Gross. A KIND bar.
噢谢天谢地只是一坨屎
Oh, thank God, it's just shit.
等等上面写了字?
Wait, is that writing?
救命! 是我菲兹
Help! It's me, Fitz.
我被困在了…
I'm trapped…
一座飞艇之城里
in a Blimp City
跟酋长一起
with the Chef.
“酋长”是谁啊?
Who's Chef?
我是说局长
I mean, Chief.
该死的自动改错!
Goddamn autocorrect.
我们在云上抬头看!
We're above the clouds. Look up!
附言：比尔克♥林♥顿♥也在上面
P.S. Bill Clinton's up here, too.
给我联♥系♥希拉里克♥林♥顿♥
Get me Hillary Clinton.
我♥操♥ 情况糟了非常糟糕
Oh fuck, this is bad. Real bad.
（深层政♥府♥一号♥）
是希拉里! 老婆们要来了! 快跑该死的!
It's Hillary! The wives are coming! Run, goddamn it!
好好揍一顿这些不着调的混♥蛋♥!
Let's get these deadbeat fucks.
我拒绝倒垃圾!
I refuse to take out the trash!
别着急
Not so fast.
我是绝对不会回家去的
There's no way in hell I'm going home.
局长我们不能在云里躲一辈子
Chief, we can't hide in the clouds forever.
你说的对
You're right.
所以我们要到太阳上去!
That's why we're going to the sun!
兰德尔! 回来!
Randall! Come back!
就是说你没去非洲援助孩子们
So, instead of helping kids in Africa,
而是在满是大便的飞艇上玩?
you're hanging out on the top of a shit-covered blimp?
这不是我的错
Hil, it wasn't my fault, now.
唉是这些男的违背我的意愿把我困在这里当人♥质♥
Man, these men kept me hostage against my will
还传染给我了这种恶心的唇疱疹
and gave me this big ol' nasty cold sore.
简直是一场噩梦你还能原谅我吗?
It was a nightmare. Can you ever forgive me?
当然了比尔无论你做任何事我都会盲目地原谅你的
Of course, Bill. I blindly forgive everything you do.
所以他们才管我叫滑头威利
And that's why they call me Slick Willy.
凯文! 子弹! 救救我!
Kevin! Bullet! Save me!
凯文你骗了我!
Kevin, you lied to me!
所有的科技都是邪恶的看到没?
All technology is evil, you see?
这跟我所料的一模一样
This is exactly what I thought was gonna happen.
你料到你会看到一个裸体的胖警♥察♥被无人机吊着
You thought you'd see a naked fat cop suspended by drones,
在一个邪恶的阴蒂上蹭来蹭去?
grinding up on an evil clitoris?
对啊难道我这么多毒都白吸了?
Yes. I do a lot of drugs.
你们最好小心点吉娜的阴蒂就是个鸡♥巴♥!
Y'all better watch out. Gina's clit is a total dick!
你还没见到可怕的呢
You ain't seen nothin' yet.
攻击
Attack.
哦对不起!
Oh, sorry!
我的天呐我就像是个稍微不胖一点的史蒂文席格!
Holy shit, I'm like a less fat Steven Seagal!
你就这点能耐吗?