天堂镇警局（2018）

Paradise PD S03E05

Part 4 Dec. 29, 2022, 11:33 a.m.

搞韦科? 那是罗杰干的活呀
Pulling a Waco? Well, that's Roger's job.
不是联邦调查局放的火是我们
The FBI didn't start the fire. We did.
你们干嘛要这么做啊?
Why would you do that?
是你跟我们说要一起自杀的呀
You told us we had a suicide pact.
我是说我们一起喝“自杀汽水” 你们这些死胖子!
I meant a pact that we would all drink a suicide soda, you fat fucks!
就是把各种味道混一起喝的意思
You know, mixing all the flavors together.
不妙啊
Oh no.
我们必须赶紧把火扑灭了不然肥胖邪教会全被烧死的
We've got to put that fire out before the fat cult burns to death
这样全镇闻起来就一股培根味了
and makes the whole town smell like bacon.
培根! 培根! 培根!
Bacon! Bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon!
抱歉我不知道自己是什么鬼上身了
Oh, sorry. I don't know what came over me.
放开我!
Let me go!
我知道你想救他们吉娜
I know you want to save them, Gina.
但搭上自己性命是毫无意义的
There's no point risking your own life.
相信我我是唯一能解救他们的人!
Trust me. I'm the only one who can save them!
喔爽
Oh yeah.
我! 的! 天!
Oh… my… God!
她要潮♥吹♥了
She gonna squirt.
（天堂镇警局）
好吧发生了这种事
Okay, that happened.
我想要感谢吉娜牺牲了她的花心豆
I want to thank Gina for sacrificing her beaver bean
拯救了她的警员同志
to save her fellow officers.
那个它就这样掉了吉娜?
So, it fell off, Gina?
是啊但不要紧医生给我装了一个仿生阴蒂
Oh, yeah, but it's okay. The doctors gave me a bionic clitoris.
它都有哪些功能啊?
So, what does it do?
有所有正常阴蒂的功能
Everything a normal clitoris does.
它都有哪些功能啊?
So, what does it do?
喔大家好呀
Oh hey, guys.
我去巡逻这会儿都错过了些什么啊?
What did I miss while I was out on patrol?
嗯演得真好菲兹你已经辞职了
Yeah, nice try, Fitz. You quit.
辞职的不是我
That wasn't me.
那是…首脑!
That was… uh… the Kingpin!
一派胡言菲兹!
Bullshit, Fitz!
你已经不在这里工作了
You don't work here anymore.
赶紧滚出去
Get the fuck out.
要不这样吧?
Well, how about this?
你把我原来的工作还给我
You give me my job back,
再加点薪这样我才养得起家
with a raise so I can support my family,
作为回报呢我给你一张我老婆阴♥道♥的照片
and in exchange, I give you a photo of my wife's vagina.
你怎么不早说啊? 我们成交!
Why didn't you lead with that? You got yourself a deal!
还有一件事局长…
Just one more thing, Chief…
那是! 我的! 屁♥眼♥!
That's… my… butthole!
“那是我的屁♥眼♥”侠来啦!
♪ It's the "That's My Butthole" guy! ♪
好吧我是完全不知道刚才他妈发生了什么
All right, I have no idea what the fuck just happened,
但至少我能好好享用这个巧克力洞洞了
but at least I can enjoy this chocolate hole.
达斯提你对于自我接受的倡导改变了我的人生
Dusty, your message of self-acceptance has changed my life.
肥胖的人不恶心
Fat people aren't gross.
心宽体胖惹人爱
There's just more of us to love.
我来为此干“圈”! 叮
I'll eat to that! Clink.
这就是幸福的感觉对吧?
This is what happiness feels like, right?
胸口喘不过气来的疼
Crushing chest pain?
嗷真可爱
Aww, how cute.
局长第一次心脏病发…
Chief had his first little heart atta--