天堂镇警局（2018）

Paradise PD S03E10

Part 2 Dec. 29, 2022, 11:33 a.m.

But luckily, that's how they're supposed to look.
你们看到没? 他刚才朝我竖了两个中指
Did you see that? He just flipped me the double bird,
这个小混♥蛋♥
that little fucker.
兰德尔! - 盯着显示器看
Randall! - Oh, keep looking at that monitor.
眼睛一刻也别挪开
Do not take your eyes off it.
他要伸手去抓东西了
He's reaching for something.
喂! 你对我有意见啊你个小混球?
Hey! You got a problem with me, you little shit?
兰德尔! - 不好意思兰德尔
Randall! - Excuse me, Randall.
我需要检查一下胎儿
I need to examine the fetus.
里面一切都好么你个小混球?
Everything okay in there, you little shit?
库特尔我们这儿有客人呢!
Cooter, we got company!
哦对不起
Oh, sorry.
你想来点鼻蜡笔吗先生?
May I offer you a nose crayon, sir?
都给我!
Gimme those!
谢谢你带来这么高级的沙拉
Thanks for bringing the fancy salad.
这45美元花得太值了
Definitely a good use of $45.
先生我想向您请求跟您女儿约会的准许
Sir, I'd like to ask your permission to date your daughter.
波说的对
Bo's right.
我们贾巴斯基家的人是有标准的
We Jabowskis have standards.
繁殖对我们来说特别重要
Breeding's especially important to us.
咱库特尔就太聪明了我们都不让他去上学了
Cooter here's so smart, we pulled him out of school.
我们想多给他制♥造♥些障碍
We wanted him to be challenged.
瞧瞧我
Look at me.
我在舔房♥子的逼
I'm eating the house's pussy.
他…看起来确实挺有障碍的
He… definitely seems challenged.
库特尔你个大蠢驴!
Cooter, you dumb shit!
那是房♥子的屁♥眼♥! 你会生病的!
That's the house's asshole! You gonna get sick.
我带了一个视频来展示我的成就
I, uh, brought a video of my accomplishments.
这是我参加奥♥运♥会
Here's me in the Olympics.
这是我在潘普洛纳斗牛
This is me during a bullfight in Pamplona.
然后这是我在摧毁东京
And here I am destroying Tokyo.
让我印象深刻啊凯文
I'm very impressed, Kevin,
但我还是不想让你跟我女儿约会
but I don't want you dating my daughter.
我不仅只是体魄强健而已
Well, it's not just my physical prowess.
我还是市长和警♥察♥局长的儿子
I'm-- I'm also the son of the mayor and the chief of police.
可以算是皇室血统了
I'm-- I'm basically royalty.
这么听来你应该来自一个充满关爱的家庭
Then it sounds like you come from a caring family
他们应该愿意付…
that would pay--
我是说做任何事来保护你啊
I mean, do anything to protect you.
没错
Exactly.
空手道!
Karate!
妈妈房♥子射在了我嘴里
Mama, the house nutted in my mouth.
兰德尔我孕中期的性♥欲♥来了过来!
Randall, I've got that second-trimester sex drive. Come here!
不行呀凯伦
No can do, Karen.
我可不想让我的鸡♥巴♥接近那个邪恶的胎儿
I just don't want my dick anywhere near that evil fetus.
喔也许我们可以肛♥交♥ 等一下
Well, maybe we could do anal. Hold on.
行了! 你♥爸♥说可以
Yep! Your dad says it's all right.
哦果然
Oh, of course.
你瞎编了个什么邪恶胎儿出来
You made up this whole thing about an evil fetus
就是想骗我肛♥交♥的
just to try to get me to have anal.
凯伦我怎么会这么做呢
Karen, I would never.
我们交房♥的那一回怎么解释?
What about when we closed on the house?
为了完成交易的最后一步
And in order to finalize the sale,
新主人必须在房♥产内进行肛♥交♥
the new owners must have anal intercourse on the property.
哎呀呀…
Oh man…
好吧我承认“后门条款”是一场精心策划的大骗局
Okay, I admit the Squatter's Clause was an elaborate scheme
而且还改动了州法律但这一回我是认真的
that required changing state legislation, but this time I'm serious.
兰德尔你可能只是因为又要当爸了有点担心而已
Randall, you're probably just worried about becoming a father again.
你需要放松一下你真要我求你才行吗?
You need to relax. Now, are you gonna make me beg?
好吧应该是我犯傻罢了
All right, I guess I'm being silly.
目前为止还…
So far so goo--
他抓住我了! 我拔不出来了!
He's got me! I can't get out!
他在扭! 凯伦救我!
He's twisting it! Karen, help!
哦他在双手扭着我的鸡♥巴♥转!
Oh, he's giving it an Indian burn!
唔还好结束了
Whew! Good. It's over.
他折断了我的鸡♥巴♥!
He broke my dick!
你说你不付赎金是啥意思? 他可是你儿子啊!
What do you mean you won't pay the ransom? He's your son!
我现在忙着为这根伤残鸡♥巴♥付钱呢
I'm too busy paying for this damaged dick
没时间担心被你绑♥架♥的那个伤残鸡♥巴♥
to worry about that other damaged dick that you kidnapped.
喂吉娜你那帮近亲结婚的笨蛋家里人绑♥架♥了凯文
Hey, Gina, your stupid, inbred family kidnapped Kevin
还想让我为他付赎金
and tried to get me to pay a ransom for him.
你能想象么? 我连电费都不付的人
Can you imagine? I don't even pay for electricity.
我就搞了一大堆接线板插着邻居家房♥子的逼
See, I have these extension cords that run to the neighbor's house pussy.
我家里人做了什么?
My family did what?
喂你还没给我的石膏签名呢!
Hey, you didn't sign my cast!
嗷 “吉”字下的“口”她画了颗爱心
Aw, she dotted her "I" with a little heart.
哇喔天呐!
Wow, boy!
我上回见到这么大根石膏里的鸡♥巴♥ 还是蒂姆艾伦在演…
That's the biggest dick I've seen in a cast since Tim Allen in
戏的时候
everything.
亲爱的你来看我们了
Honey, you came for a visit.
我来是因为你们绑♥架♥了凯文
I'm here because you kidnapped Kevin,
我已经准备好随时把你们他妈的头打爆了!
and I'm about ready to blow your fucking heads off!
不管怎样见到你真好
Well, nice to see you either way.
甜心我们又没打算伤害他
Sweetie, we weren't gonna hurt him.
只是因为…好吧你♥爸♥拉不下脸来告诉你
It's just, well, your daddy will be too proud to tell you this,
但我们很需要这笔赎金因为他需要一个新的肾
but we need that ransom money because he needs a new kidney
不然他会死的
or he's gonna die.
吉娜! 谢天谢地你来了
Gina! Thank God you're here.
谢谢你替我松绑…
Thanks for untying me
然后把绳子换成了铁链?
and replacing the ropes with chains?
对不起凯文我是他们那边的
Sorry, Kevin. I'm on their side.
我爸生病了很需要这笔赎金
My dad's sick and needs the ransom money,
所以我们需要你♥爸♥认真对待这件事
so we need your dad to take us seriously.
我保证你不会受伤
I promise you won't get hurt.
好了你最不喜欢哪根脚趾?
Now, which toe do you like the least?
应该是第六根吧?
I guess the sixth one?
只要别动第七根就行
Just don't touch the seventh one.
它是我的最爱
That one's my favorite.
（超污秽汽车旅馆）
终于来了!
Finally!
我们一直在找你呢克拉珀
We've been trying to get ahold of you, Clappers.
你去哪儿了啊? - 我在跟菲兹打篮球
Where've you been? - I was playing round ball with Fitz.
当菲兹杰罗走进房♥间时要让他踩的就是这个红心
So, here's the bullseye which Fitzgerald will land on when he comes into the room.
然后第一组机械臂就…
Then, the first set of robot arms--
噢抱歉菲兹给我发了个迈克泰森的换脸视频
Oh, sorry. Fitz just sent me a Mike Tyson deepfake.
你有没有在嗑了可♥卡♥因♥后做♥爱♥过尼克?
Have you ever fucked on cocaine, Nick?
我会操你操到你爱我为止贱♥人♥
I… I'll fuck you till you love me, bitch.
噢真♥他♥妈♥是一部杰作
Oh, that's a goddamn masterpiece.
老大你加入警局是为了骗取菲兹杰罗信任的
Boss, you joined the PD to gain Fitzgerald's trust,
不是去成为他好朋友的
not to become his best friend.
不许质疑我
Do not question me.
他不是我的好朋友
He is not my best friend.
就算我俩有无数的共同点又怎样?
So what if he and I have everything in common?
最重要的是
The bottom line is,
我是被他害变异的而且我的家人都以为我死了
he mutated me, and my family thinks I'm dead.
我恨那个可爱的混账东西
I hate that lovable motherfucker.
你雇佣了谁来导演这个广♥告♥啊?
Who did you hire to direct the commercial?
我还从没见过那个异形
I've never seen that mutant before.
那人不是异形那是蒂姆波顿
That's not a mutant. That's Tim Burton.
911 你有何紧急情况?
我吃完布朗尼了
先生这个电♥话♥是紧急情况才能打的
哦那还好我打来了
我还真有个紧急情况好么
因为我刚才意识到我的身体是一栋鬼屋
因为在这里面有一具骨架
一个鬼魂
墙上还全是血啊什么的
你到底吃了几块布朗尼先生?
呃这个嘛我要么吃了一高卟噜呢
要么是高啪卟噜呢
但应该没隆嘶隆
你说的这些是数字吗先生?
猜唔扑通
这算“是”的意思么先生?
噗哩卟噗
先生我觉得你脑袋已经坏了
咔啦姆格哩噗法拉姆嘞咯哩什噗
蛋黄酱不求人面包丁放屁!
- 再见先生 - 高高
到床上来吧兰德尔
Come to bed, Randall.
不要我上回过来那个邪恶胎儿拧断了我鸡♥巴♥的脖子