神经马龙（2017）

Marlon S01E03

Part 1 July 10, 2020, 10:34 a.m.

亲们好啊
What's up, people?
十年前
Ten years ago,
我发了一条全世界最酷女孩的视频
I posted a video with the coolest girl on the entire planet:
我女儿
my daughter.
马莉人生第一准则是什么
Marley, what's rule number one?
我永远不会长大
I will never grow up.
第二准则呢
And what's rule number two?
我不会我不会不会长大
I'll never, ever, ever grow up.
你周围开始有男生撩你你要怎么做呀
And what you gonna do when them boys start showing up?
男生太倒胃口了我会吐
Boys are gross, so I'll be throwing up.
神经马龙第一季第三集
棒
Yes!
我这水平感动哭自己啊宝贝
I did that do till it was done, honey.
艾什丽她看起来惊艳吧
Ashley, doesn't she look amazing?
是「惊讶」吧
More like amazed.
是啊我都闭不上眼睛了
Yeah, I can't really close my eyes.
我爱的人儿们
Hello, people I love.
伊维特也在啊
Yvette.
小史你跟谁讲电♥话♥呢
Stevie, who are you on the phone with?
广播电台
Radio station.
为了赢取碧昂斯的演唱会门票
Been on hold for hours trying to
等了好几个小时了
win Beyonce tickets.
谢了伊维特阿姨
Thanks, Aunt Yvette.
我去全身镜前照一下
I'm gonna go look at it in the big mirror.
先得给老爸一个拥抱啊
Not before you give your daddy a big hug.
来抱抱
Come here.
我的抱抱和亲亲被她拒之门外了吗
Did she just Jackie Chan my hug and kiss?
她最近总这样啊
You know, she's been doing that a lot lately.
很奇怪啊
It's kind of weird, you know?
她涂香水了换发型了
She's wearing perfume, new hairdo,
发短♥信♥时还怕我偷看
won't let me look over her shoulder when she's texting.
鬼鬼祟祟像这样...
It's all sneaky, like...
不用说大家也都心知肚明了吧
Well, I think it's pretty obvious what's going on here.
-嗯 -没错
- Yeah. - Damn right.
咱家闺女贩毒了
Our baby girl's dealing drugs.
马龙她是「女为悦己者容」
Marlon, she wants to look good for boys.
别瞎扯了
Don't be ridiculous.
马龙你爱装傻白甜就装吧
Marlon, you can act a foo all you want,
但你家姑娘有心上人了
but your baby girl is crushing on a dude,
你们都做好心理准备吧
and y'all better get ready,
因为好戏就要开始了
'cause the party is about to start.
我们是黑人
Well... we black,
实力吐槽黑人不守时
我们的戏会晚点开始
and... we coming to that party late.
伊维特马莉从小到大
Yvette, he has been dreading
他一直害怕会有这一天
this moment for Marley's entire life.
因为是这样 14岁有心上人
Because where I'm from, you have a crush at 14,
16岁就会怀孕了
you're pregnant by 16,
28岁就会当上外婆
and you a grandma by 28.
我可不想一个卷毛小屁孩儿
Now, I ain't going to have no little boy with some nappy hair,
喊我「爷爷」
talking about, "Hey, Papa."
拉倒吧
No.
小黑鬼叫我「马龙」
No, little Negro. Call me Marlon.
马龙我记得我第一次喜欢别人
Marlon, I remember my first crush.
我当时也就12岁吧
I think I was, like, 12.
12岁
12?
我不是说你是「骚浪货」
Look, I ain't saying you a ho,
但你自己领会精神吧
but that's on the spectrum.
马龙
Actually, Marlon,
其实12岁是原始女性的生产年纪
12 is when primitive females gave birth.
此时盆骨开始扩张为了使孩子...
The pelvis starts to expand to accommodate the baby's...
喂
Hello?
当然了两张免费演唱会门票太好了
Well, yes, I would enjoy two free Beyonce tickets.
我会继续等待
I will hold.
小史
Stevie?
我都不知道咱俩都是碧昂斯的粉丝啊
I never realized that we both were fans of Beyonce.
不如我们今晚共进晚餐时谈谈吧
How about we talk about it over dinner tonight?
我请客哦
My treat?
我看透你的招数了伊维特
I see what you're doing, Yvette.
但是哥喜欢你这样
And I'm gonna let you do it.
那就去热带雨林餐厅吧
I'd like to eat at the Rainforest Cafe.
热带雨林餐厅
The Rainforest Cafe?
那个到处都是机械鹦鹉
That stupid place with all the mechanical parrots
湿气重重的地方吗
and all that humidity?
你知道我这自来卷进去会怎样吗
Do you know what that place is gonna do to my hair?
我知道啊
Yes, I do.
马龙多令人开心啊
Marlon, how exciting.
咱家闺女有第一个心上人了
Our baby has her first crush.
「好戏」离开场还早着呢
It's gonna be a long time before that party starts.
「小丑」登台了
Well, the clown's here.
我不知道你们能不能看出来
I don't know if you guys can tell,
我稍微化了一点妆
but I put on a little makeup.
-没看出来啊 -这是裸妆吗
- No, are you kidding me? - No, it looks so natural.
完全看不出来
I didn't even know.
我以为你素颜就长这样
I thought you woke up like this.
我的妈呀
Dang.
看着你的脸我想吃「麦当劳」了「麦当劳蜀黍」Your face makes me want a Happy Meal.
我们学校有个男生...
Well, there's this boy at school, and...
我真的很喜欢他
I really like him,
他问我明晚能不能
and he asked if he can come over here
来咱家跟我一起复习几何考试
to study tomorrow night for our geometry test.
乖女儿
Sweetheart.
好啊真好
Yay. That's so great.
当然了他当然能来了
Yeah. Of course he can come.
很棒吧马龙
Isn't that wonderful, Marlon?
马龙
Marlon.
好...啊
Yeah.
我的宝贝闺女
My little girl...
喜欢男生了
into boys.
为什么啊
Why?
好了别弄了
Okay, stop that.
我们得理智谈一下
We need to discuss this rationally.
好理智谈一下
Okay, let's be rational.
我们俩入土之前我不希望咱女儿找对象
I don't want my daughter dating until we're both dead,
你先走...
and you're gonna go first...
因为我吃得健康
because I eat well,
而你总是边开车边发短♥信♥
and you got a really bad habit of texting and driving.
好吧
Okay.
你总是这样
You know, you always do this.
还记得以前你说
Remember when you said that
她年纪太小不能撤掉自行车的保护轮
she was too young to take the training wheels off her bicycle?
那你记得你撤掉后发生什么事了吗
And remember what happened when you took them off?
她下巴摔肿了头上缝了四针
She got a bump on the chin, four stitches on the head.
一身伤包得像个「科学小怪物」似的
Girl walking around looking like little black Frankenstein.
她还没做好准备呢
Look, she's not ready.
她到年龄了
She is ready.
还有马龙
And you know what, Marlon?
她跟我们坦白我们就偷着乐吧
We're lucky that she came to us.
我本来想跟我爸坦白
I tried to go to my dad,
可他跟你一样反应特别大
and like you, he overreacted.
我都不能跟谈心了
I couldn't talk to him.
我的恋爱技巧都是从「王子」的歌♥词中学来的
I learned everything I know now from Prince lyrics.
妈呀
Damn.
我可不想我家闺女拿着色情杂♥志♥在酒店自♥慰♥
I don't want my baby in a hotel lobby with a magazine.
黑人歌♥手「王子」的歌♥词
木已成舟
This is happening.
你要么抗拒现实
Now, you can either resist it,
要么接纳现实
or you can embrace it.
我们能让她回炉重生
Can't we just stuff her back up in there,
还是小宝宝...
and let her, like...
宝贝闺女
Baby girl.
你喜欢上一个男生
So...you like a boy.