神经马龙（2017）

而是躺在床上 等你消气儿
Where we lie in bed waiting for you to be less angry
我们就可以滚床单了
so I can finally get some.
行 行 你继续玩笑吧
You know what? Go on. Make your jokes.
医生让扎克静养
The doctor says Zack is supposed to relax,
结果你让他熬夜玩游戏
and you keep him up all night playing video games
吃垃圾食品
and eating junk food.
是啊 对了
Yeah, that's right.
我不该让孩子玩得开心
I was supposed to not let our kids have any fun
因为艾什丽想大家严肃起来
because Ashley wants to keep things super serious.
这就像那次...
You know, this is just like the time...
别跟我提跳跳屋的事
Do not bring up the bounce house!
跳跳屋那次
The bounce house!
我想买♥♥个跳跳屋给马莉当作六岁生日礼物
I wanted to get Marley a bounce house for her sixth birthday,
你却不让买♥♥
and you said we couldn't
因为你看了一篇文章
because you read an article about three kids
三个孩子在失常的跳跳屋里被炸了
that got blown away in a rogue bounce house.
没错 还有
Yeah, and you know what?
换成了一样有意思的事
I found a replacement that was just as fun.
你换成了哑剧表演 哑剧啊
You replaced it with a mime. A mime?
我就是不想让我们家孩子
Forgive me for wanting to protect our children
被气体炸死
from a windy, bouncy death.
我心疼自己家儿子病了 怎么了
And I'm sorry that I care about our son being sick.
他没事
He's fine.
-他好得很 -妈妈
- He's never felt better.- Mom?
我好像不舒服
I think I'm gonna be sick.
我吃太多玉米片了
I ate too many Doritos.
至少不再担忧他的腿了
Look, he's not thinking about his leg anymore.
好吧
You know what?
今天按你的方式来了
Today, we did things the Marlon way:
尽情玩耍了
All fun and games.
但我也是他的家长
But I'm his parent, too.
所以明天 他要按我的方式静养
So tomorrow, he's gonna relax my way.
不再搞医院狂欢了
The hospital party stops.
你打算怎么做 联♥系♥哑剧演员吗
What you gon' do? Call your mime?
你好 我现在接不了电♥话♥
Hello? I can't get to the phone right now
因为我"困在箱子里"[哑剧动作]because I'm stuck in a box.
我一晚上没睡
I didn't sleep a wink
因为床太小 马龙睡觉老踢人
because Marlon was kicking me all night in that tiny cot.
马莉昨晚一开始给我讲《哈利·波特》那些事
Well, girl, Marley started telling me something about Harry Potter and them,
我就一觉睡到天亮
and I passed out like a light.
应该是她喝红酒喝多了
I think the wine might've helped.
帕特里斯 你有胶带吗
Hi, Patrice. do you have any tape?
我想把"安静区"的标识挂在我儿子病房♥外面
I want to hang this "quiet zone" sign outside of my son's door.
扎克真需要静养了
Zack really should relax,
所以我想尽量不搞出什么动静
so I want to keep things as low-key as possible.
什么情况
What the hell?
马龙 你干什么呢
Marlon! What are you doing?
我是"跑男"
I'm doing the running man,
扎克是"轮椅男"
Zack's doing the rolling man,
小史则是...
and Stevie's doing the...
你这是哪门子的舞步啊
I don't know what the hell you doing, man.
妈妈 跟老爸跳个舞吧
Mom! Do your dance with Dad!
马龙 今天应该不搞出什么动静
Marlon, today was supposed to be low-key, okay?
我拿来了拼图啊 游戏啊
I mean, I brought puzzles and games,
我以为不再搞狂欢了
and I thought the party was about to stop.
本来是 但医生过来了
We were, but then the doctor came,
他想再做些检查 所以扎克害怕了
and he wanted to run more tests, so Zack got scared.
所以我就得哄哄他
So I had to kick it up a notch.
我好庆幸黑人夫妇
Man, I'm so glad black couples
都备着一段编舞啊
always got a rehearsed dance on deck.
-来 配合一个 -马龙 我不跳了
- Come on, hit this one! - Okay, Marlon! I'm done!
别这样 怎么 你觉得我不能下劈叉吗
Come on. What? You don't think I can do the splits?
瞧好吧 一字马
Watch this. Drop down!
好吧
Okay.
嘚瑟大了 好了
All right. All right.
马龙 过去这两天
Marlon, the last two days have been
就像我们结婚时那样
exactly like our marriage all over again.
我说什么 你都不听
You have ignored everything I've asked you to do.
是 因为你想控制我
Yeah, 'cause you trying to control everything that I do.
好了 行了 狂欢结束了
Okay, enough! Party over!
好消息 扎克的血检结果出来了
Good news. Zack's blood work came back
可以手术了
and it's a go for surgery.
-我们就在手术室外守着你 -好
- We'll be right here when you get out, okay? - Okay.
你很快就能出来
Yeah, and you'll back to making
继续闹腾我了
my life miserable before you know it.
你瞧她们多愁善感的样子
You hear them sounding all sappy?
说说我们怎么对待骨感染啊
You tell 'em what we gon' do to that bone infection.
我们会对其暴... 菊
We're gonna kick its...ass.
这是必须滴
You're damn right we are.
不愧是我儿子
My guy.
大夫 帮个忙 手术时
Hey, Doc, do me a favor? When you're in there,
能顺便治一下他的口臭
can you please do something 'bout his stank breath
和他的脚茧吗
and his crusty feet?
如果你能给他重割包皮 就太好了
And if you could re-circumcise him, that'd be nice.
有点弯
It's a little crooked.
-妈妈 -怎么了 宝贝儿子
- Mom? - Yeah, sweetheart?
我能带芭比进去吗
Can I take Babby with me?
当然可以了
Of course you can.
-爱你 -我也爱你
- I love you. - I love you, too.
好了 马龙
Okay, Marlon.
给我说几个笑话吧
Now I need jokes.
好
Yeah.
我马上编
I'm writing 'em.
马龙
Marlon?
-你没事吧 -没事
- Are you okay? - Yeah.
我没事
Yeah, I'm fine.
就是眼睛里进沙子了
Just, like, something in my eye.
但我很好
I'm good, though.
他们要对我儿子开刀了
They gonna take my baby under the knife!
天啊 换人带走吧
Lord, take me instead!
神啊
Lord!
神啊
Lord!
把我带走吧
Take me instead!
留下我儿子
Take me instead!
别这样 马龙 起来 起来
Come on, Marlon. Get up. Get up.
-没事啦 -他不会有事
- You gon' be all right. - He's gonna be fine.
-宝贝闺女 不会 -别
- Baby girl, it's gon'... - No.
不会有事的 来 宝贝
It's gon' be all right. Come on, baby.
-妈妈 -抱紧我 闺女
- Mom? - Hold me, baby girl.
抱住爸爸 不 爸爸 不
Hold Daddy. No, Daddy, no! Dad!
-爸爸 -妈
- Daddy, no! - Mama!
神啊 你为什么要带走我家孩子
Lord, why'd you have the take the baby?
不要带走她 上帝啊
Don't take this one, God!
-把孩子带回家 -妈妈
- You take our baby home. - Mom!
你快走 我去接儿子过来
Get out of here. I'm going to get our son.
走 快走
Go! Come on!
不能让他们这么做
They ain't gon' do this!
不要 马龙
No, no, no. Marlon!
不要 别带走他
No! Don't take... don't take him!
-爸爸 -别带走他
- Daddy! Dad! - Don't take him!
-马龙 -带走我吧
- Marlon! - Take me instead!
-带走我吧 -马龙
- Take me instead! - Marlon!
别带走我儿子
Don't take my boy!
爸爸 你下来
Dad, get off me!
马龙
Marlon?
我拿到芭比了 拿到芭比了
I got Babby! I got Babby! Come on!
-扎克呢 -术后恢复中
- Where's Zack? - He's in recovery.
-"汽水"医生说他没事 -这就好
- Dr. Pepper says he's doing great. - Good.
而你呢
You, on the other hand,
哭到脱水了
cried so hard, you lost a lot of fluid...
还尊严扫地