爱你，妮娜（2016）

in a sort of business or retail environment?
我要出门洗衣服了
I'm going to go and hang some washing out.
我知道我不怎么
'I know I don't give you
提供有用的建议 维克 但是现在有一个
handy hints very often, Vic, but here's one.
"永远都不要防腐剂清洗炸锅
'Never wash a frying pan in TCP or other antiseptic liquids.
否则永远都不能摆脱那股气味
'You'll never get rid of the smell.
我只能扔掉它 再买♥♥一个新的锅
'I had to chuck it out and find one exactly the same.
从来没人讨论过乱♥交♥的隐藏代价"
'Nobody ever talks about the hidden costs of promiscuity.'
-番茄是新鲜的 -我注意到了
- I used fresh tomatoes. - So I noticed.
他不喜欢番茄皮
He doesn't like the skins.
问题是你可以用番茄罐头做意面
The thing is, you can use tinned tomatoes for Bolognese.
没有人会发现的
The sauce disguises the tinniness.
好吧
Right.
如果我用新鲜番茄炖汤
But if I use fresh in the hunter's stew,
那就要去皮
then I should skin the tomatoes.
你很快就能摸清诀窍了
You'll soon get the hang of it.
"维克 我为什么要摸清诀窍呢
'But why should I get the hang of it, Vic?
如果我从开始就被告知
'If I'd been told from
我不仅要为两个孩子做晚饭
the off that I'd be cooking for two children
还包括一个
'and an internationally
享有盛誉的世界级文学家
acclaimed poet and novelist every evening,
我或许会再三思考然后做决定"
'I might have thought twice about taking the job.'
关于下午的访客 我很抱歉
I'm sorry about your visitor this afternoon.
没关系
That's all right.
他没再犯错吧
Oh, he didn't, did he?
没有 没有
No, no.
怎么了
Didn't what?
和你没关系
It's not relevant.
扑倒你
Jump on you.
他只干过一次
He only did it the once.
和你吗
With you?
不 别这么无礼 麦克斯
No. Don't be so rude, Max.
-你是在和前辈说话 -这是前任保姆离开的原因吗
- It was your predecessor. - Is that why she left?
不是的 他没有恶意
No, no. He's harmless.
只是他每次不请自来做点吃的
It's the wandering in and helping himself to a fry-up
这比较让人恼火
that's much more irritating.
实际上我感觉挺不舒服的
It actually made me feel really uncomfortable.
真的吗 为什么
Really? Why?
就是那个晚上
Well, it's the thing you
你不愿提起的事情
didn't want to talk about the other night.
什么事情
What thing?
那个...
The, um...
我们谈论过身体状况吗
Were we talking about a medical condition?
这个身体状况叫做"两只鸭子"?
There's a medical condition called "Two ducks"?
那不应该是一只螃蟹吗
Wasn't that one crab?
对 一只螃蟹
Yes! One crab.
-一只螃蟹 -不仅仅是一只
- One crab? - Except more than one.
你懂吗
You know?
多于两只
More than two?
我指很多 并非特指某个数量
Just plural, I'm not thinking of a specific number.
-螃蟹群 -没错
- Crabs. - Yes!
我明白了 确实是我们讨论过的事情
Oh, I see! That's what we were talking about.
如果你不希望孩子明白
Perhaps if you don't want the children to know,
就不应该让孩子参与猜测
it's best not to use a children's game to impart the information.
没想到你那么迟钝
I didn't think you'd be so slow.
为什么称为"螃蟹"
Why is it called "Crabs"?
我猜是因为虱子像螃蟹
I suppose because the lice resemble crabs.
能别在饭桌上讨论这事吗
Can we please not talk about this at dinner?
重点是我不喜欢他在厨房♥
The point is, I wasn't happy with him in the kitchen,
这里碰碰 那里摸摸
putting his hands all over the pots and the pans.
实在是... 恶心
It's... Eurgh.
不 不 不 那不... 不是他
No, no, no. It's not... It's not him.
-不是他吗 -不是的
- It wasn't him? - No!
-不是他吗 -不是的 不是那个人
- It wasn't him? - No, no, no, not that one.
不 绝对不是
No. No, God, no.
他是...
No, he's...
我这么说吧
Well, put it this way,
他不会接受干洗店的服务
he doesn't require the services of a dry-cleaner.
他的衣服上有一大块油渍
He had a big grease stain on his shirt.
我只是打个比方
I was speaking metaphorically.
天哪
Oh, God.
我让他把手洗了
I asked him to wash his hands.
这建议也没错
Well, it's never bad advice.
为什么它们看起来像螃蟹
What do you mean, they look like crabs?
可能因为它们有小钳子
I suppose because they have little pincers.
还会咬我们的下♥体♥吗
And they bite your thing?!
这和钳子没有关系
I don't think the pincers are relevant.
只是在肚子下方感觉痒痒的
I think, well, you just itch in your pubic regions, I don't know.
-你根本不必担心 -年纪还小
- But you really don't have to worry. - Not yet.
他害怕螃蟹
He's terrified of crabs.
终于明白了
There we are, then.
-怎么了 -我们终于找到麦克斯的核战争了
- Where are we? - We've found Max's nuclear war.
性病
Sexual disease!
你有没有做米布丁
Um, have you made your rice pudding?
我有布丁罐头
I got tinned.
"我希望让你感受到伦敦知识分子的生活方式
'I hope this gives you a flavour of intellectual London life.
那就是罐头食物对抗自♥制♥米布丁...
'It's all tinned versus home-made rice pudding...
罐头食物对抗新鲜番茄
tinned versus fresh tomatoes,
关于是否应该提到核战争的讨论
'a lot of discussion about when you're allowed to mention
在某个特殊的夜晚
'the impending nuclear apocalypse and, on special nights,
一场关于猜测性病名称的游戏
'games where you have to guess the name of the venereal disease.'
-你好 乔 -你好 杰米
- Hello, Joe! - Hi, Jamie!
说到这件事 或是这个人
'Oh, talking of which, or of whom,
我们碰到始作俑者 孩子们非常没礼貌"
'we ran into the culprit, and the boys behaved very badly.'
我有性病 我有性病
I've got crabs, I've got crabs!
-孩子们 -你会因为辐射慢慢死去
- Boys! - You're slowly going to die of radiation sickness,
-还包括你认识的人 -性病 性病 性病
- and so will everyone else you know. - Crabs, crabs, crabs!
或许我挺开心的
'I think I might be happy here,
尽管这条街上最帅的男生
'even though the best-looking boy in the street
觉得我不可救药
'already thinks I'm hopeless.
大部分时间确实是这样
'Which I am, most of the time.
你能把奶酪金枪鱼意面的食谱寄给我吗
'Will you send me your recipe for cheesy tuna pasta?
或许帮得上忙
'That might help.
爱你 妮娜"
'Love, Nina.'
另外 我给了男孩们一些训诫
'PS, I have been giving the boys little homilies,
好像是这么叫的 就像"欢乐满人间"那样
'I think they're called, just like Mary Poppins.'
乔 你看 那朵云看起来就像足总杯
Look, Joe, that cloud looks just like the FA Cup.
是的
Oh, yes.
无论如何都是联赛杯
Well, the League Cup, anyway.
你刚刚踩到狗屎了
You just trod in dog poo!
该死的
Oh, Trevor Brooking!
乔 听好了
Ah! Joe, no, listen.
永远不要忘记仰望云朵
Never stop looking at the clouds,
不管脚下有多少狗屎
no matter how much dog poo is beneath your feet.
狗屎乔
Pooey Joe!
-狗屎 -擦干净就行 走吧
- Poo! - Just wipe it off, come on.
别说了 别管他
Stop it, leave him alone.
我也经常踩到 而且还没穿鞋子呢
I've done it loads of times, and I've got no shoes on.
狗屎乔 狗屎 狗屎 狗屎乔
Pooey Joe, pooey, pooey, pooey Joe!