9号秘事

..happy ending.
你刚才谈起你母亲时有什么感觉
How did it feel, talking about your mother?
抱歉 你说什么
Sorry, what did you say?
你谈起你母亲时有什么感觉
How did it feel, talking about your mother,
你说你不记得她了
the fact that you can't remember her?
我不是不记得她了 我...
Oh, it's not that I can't remember her, I...
我从来就没见过她
I never knew her.
是这样 我是个孤儿
See, I...I was an orphan.
我父母都去世了
Both my parents died.
没人知道是怎么回事
Nobody knows what happened.
就是个谜
It's just a mystery.
盖伦
这东西开着吗
Is this thing on?
大家好 我是盖伦·J·兰德里
Hello, this is Galen J Landry coming to you live
在路易斯安那州的杰斐逊教区监狱所为您直播
from the Jefferson Parish Correctional Facility in L'isiana,
这里是蔗糖之州
the Sugar State, mm-mm!
天 你知道这要多久吗
Ma'am, you know how long this gon' take?
我已经说了我杀了一票人
I already told you I killed a whole bunch of people.
要我告诉你他们的名字吗
Y'all want me to tell you their names?
我不能告诉你他们的名字
I can't tell you their names.
那可不是什么"你好我好"的温馨场面
It ain't a kinda "howdy oody" situation,
毕竟是把刀插♥进♥别人的肚子里
sticking a knife in someone's belly.
但我可以跟你们说说我杀的第一个女士
I can tell you the first lady I killed.
多琳·格蕾丝·兰德里
Doreen Grace Landry.
她是我妈妈
She was my momma.
我那时是个少年 可能十四五岁
I was just a young'un, maybe 14, 15,
当时我在家里给一只小兔子剥皮
and I was in the house skinning a little rabbit
是我爸爸打回来的
that my daddy done shot,
她冲进来时怒气冲冲 说
when she comes marching in, all ornery like.
"你在厨房♥干什么 盖伦"
"What you doin' in the kitchen, Galen?
"把那该死的野物从我桌上拿走"
"Get that God-dang varmint off my table!"
我说 "我没做错事 妈妈 我们得吃东西啊"
I said, "I ain't doing nothing wrong, Momma. We gotta eat."
然后她就开始打我的头
Then she starts striking me about the head,
比正在嚼大黄蜂的骡子还疯狂
madder than a mule chewin' on a bumblebee -
你们现在可能会称之为"家庭暴♥力♥"
what you folks might nowadays call "domestic abuse".
我脑子里有什么东西突然崩断了
And something in my brain just snapped.
我转过身 举起我的刀
I turned around, I held up my knife,
一把路易斯安那小折刀
a big old L'isiana toothpick,
一刀扎进了她的肚子里
and I stuck her right in the bread basket.
我的天 她当时脸上的表情哟
My, my, the look on her face.
我爸爸回到家时 他不太高兴
When my daddy come home, he was not best pleased.
我已经剥好了兔子的皮 把我妈的皮也剥了点
I'd skinned the rabbit and a little bit of Momma, too.
厨房♥里一片狼藉 爸爸开始咆哮
Kitchen was a mess, Daddy starts boo-hooing,
说要报♥警♥
talking about calling the po-lice
像公牛的乳♥头♥一样一点用都没有
and being about as much use as tits on a bull,
于是我用铁制烤盘打得他脑浆迸裂
so I bashed his brains in with the griddling iron.
那似乎是最好心的举动了
Seemed the kindest thing to do.
家里养的猪整个冬天都没饿过肚子 真的
The pigs did not go hungry that winter, no siree.
我进城买♥♥东西时
When I went into town to get supplies,
人们大声问我 "嘿 盖伦 你♥爸♥去哪儿了"
folks'd holler, "Hey, Galen, where's your daddy at?"
我就回答 "他在田里干活儿呢"
And I'd just say, "Oh, you know, he's working the land."
然后我就笑了 毕竟这其实算是实话
And then I laughed cos it was kinda true,
因为他现在变成猪屎在为田地增肥
seeing as he was now pig poop.
你吃过人脑吗 女士
You ever eaten human brains, ma'am?
有点黏糊糊的 像炒蛋一样
Kinda mushy, like scrambled eggs.
我喜欢进入其他人的脑袋里
See, I like to get into other folks' heads,
了解一些他们知道的事
know a bit of what they know.
所以我比你聪明
And that's why I'm smarter than you...
虽然我戴着镣铐坐在这儿
even though I'm sitting here in chains
而你举着高档的摄影机
and you're the one with the fancy video camera,
家里有好老公 完美的女儿
the nice husband, the perfect daughter.
没错 我了解你
Oh, yeah, I know you.
等我离开这个鬼地方
And when I get outta this hellhole,
我知道我一定能离开
which I know I will,
我会去你家拜访你
I'm gonna come pay y'all a visit.
让你体验一下南方人的热情好客
Treat you to some of that Southern hospitality.
盖伦
Galen...
盖伦
安琪儿[天使]
嗨 写博客的天使们
Hi, blogging angels!
@天使军团
嗨 拍视频博客的天使们
Hi, vlogging angels!
这个视频是给那些想破处的
This video is for any vloggy-virgins out there
视频博客处♥女♥们准备的
that want to pop their cherry.
好了 那么
OK, so...
给不认识我的人说一下 你们好 我叫安琪儿
for those of who you don't know - hi, my name's Angel.
我是社交媒体网红 大概的意思就是
I am a social media influencer, which basically means
我能和你们分享各种东西 我的天使军团
I get to share things with you, my Angel Army.
天使军团
Angel Army!
我的粉丝越多 我的影响力就越大
And the more followers I get, the more influence I have.
明白了吗
Does that make sense?
总之 其中一些我最喜欢的视频...
Anyway, some of my favourite videos -
从你们的评论来看 也是你们最喜欢的视频
and judging by your comments, some of your favourites as well
就是"讲故事"系列啦 在这些视频里
are the Storytimes where I just...
我可以跟你们说说我的生活以及近况
I get to tell you about my life and what's been happening.
所以拿上一杯茶 手♥机♥调静音
So grab yourselves a cup of tea, put your phone on silent,
如果你想舒适放松点 就换上连体睡衣
put your onesie on if you want to feel all shnuggly,
因为我要告诉你们一个
because I have got the mother,
至尊老母级别的故事
the mama, the madre of all Storytimes for you.
开始啦
Here goes.
上周二 我屏蔽了社交媒体三小时
So, last Tuesday, I'd done a three-hour social media blackout
为了筹款给...
as a fundraiser for...
慈善组织
charity.
我从早上10点开始就没看过我的手♥机♥ 图享网 推特
So I hadn't looked at my phone, Insta, Twitter,
全部都没看
nothing at all, since 10am.
不可思议 对吧
I know, right?!
等我重新开机后 简直灾难降临
When I put my phone back on, all hell breaks loose.
我有无数条通知
I had so many notifications -
嗡嗡响个不停 像我妈的欲兔自♥慰♥器一样
it was buzzing away like my mother's Rabbit.
别告诉她我泄露了这事 别
Don't tell her I said that, boo!
千万别告诉她我说了
Do not tell her I said that!
我都快哭了
I'm crying!
不过首先 我得倒带一下
But first of all, I need to rewind a little bit.
倒带
Rewind!
变装皇后行业网送了一件T恤给我
I'd been given a T-shirt from dragtrade.com -
有点像我身上这件 但上面的词是"宝贝"
bit like this one, but with the word "babe" on it.
然后我看评论
Then, when I see my comments,
第一条是一个叫盖伦·兰德里粉的新粉丝发的
the first one was from a new follower called GalenLandryFan -
这真是一点都"不"诡异哦
which was not at all creepy,
毕竟盖伦可是美国的那个连环杀手
given the fact that he's that serial killer dude in America
这样不太好哦
not cool -
上面写着 "安琪儿 喜欢你的T恤"
and it said, "Hi, Angel, love the T-shirt.
"你真是个宝贝
"You are a Babe -
这电影超级好看"
"what a great film that was."
我之前不知道 但据说
Well, I didn't know this, but apparently
《宝贝》是很多年前关于猪的一部电影
Babe was a film from years ago about a pig.
一头会说话的猪
A pig that talks.
那家伙叫人难以置信吧 太叫人难以置信了
Can you believe this guy? Can you believe this guy?!
我一边看那些字 脑子里边冒出各种各样的表情包
So I'm reading this and feeling all these different emojis,
然后在我的潜意识里
and somewhere, from my sub-sub-conscience,
有个声音告诉我 "这个人你认识
I get a voice telling me, "This is someone you know,
你还见过"
"someone you've already met."
我的天 我是真的
Oh, my God, I can literally, like,
感觉手臂上的汗毛都竖起来了
feel the hairs going up on the back of my arms!
总之 我回了对方一条
Anyway, I'd posted a response saying,
"我不知道你说的是什么电影
"I don't know what film you're referring to,
但我建议你别惹安琪儿大军
"but I would advise you not to mess with Angel's Army.
你也许觉得我长得像猪
"You might think I look like a pig,
但我们看看你喜不喜欢网络暴♥力♥"
but let's see how you like spam."
所以我截了图发到推特
So I'd screen-shotted it to Twitter,
让我所有的粉丝转发 并带上话题
asked all my followers to repost it with...
#时间到了
#timesup,
#时间到了[反性侵运动]