老妈撞入电视台（2017）

Great News S02E10

Part 4 July 12, 2020, 2:14 p.m.

我想要的生日
being surrounded by friends
正是和朋友们在一起
is what I wanted for my birthday.
所以谢谢你小凯
So thank you, Cat,
也真心谢谢大家
and thank you, all of you, really.
没什么大不了他只是在说场面话
Big deal. He's just being polite.
她知道了他喜欢朋友
Oh, she figured out he likes friends.
他们一定心心相印
They must share a soul.
我们今晚在此祝贺格雷格·沃尔什
We are here tonight to honor Greg Walsh.
-对格雷格 -这首歌♥献给你
- Yeah, Greg. - And this song's for you.
*你知道我们的爱是命中注定*
*You know our love was meant to be*
真棒啊小凯
Go, Cat!
*这是永恒的真爱*
*The kind of love to last forever*
*我要你在此与我相依*
*And I want you here with me*
*从今夜直至时间尽头*
*From tonight until the end of time*
*你是我生命的意义*
*You're the meaning in my life*
*你是我生命的启示*
*You're the inspiration*
*我的生命中有你才有了感应*
*You bring feeling to my life*
*你是我生命的启示*
*You're the inspiration*
好吧我知道怎样让局面难堪
Okay, I can see how this could look bad,
但她这招正...
but she is playing right into our--
*多想有你与我相依*
*Wanna have you near me*
*多想有你听我话语*
*Wanna have you hear me saying*
*没有人比我*
*No one needs you more*
*更需要你*
*Than I need you*
查克
Chuck?
你是躲在书桌底下吗
Are you hiding under your desk?
当然没有我是住在书桌底下
Of course not! I'm living under here.
你快离开我的院子
Get off my yard.
你现在都会收到死亡威胁了吗
You're getting death threats now?
他们闯进我家还从我自己的那期《字体》杂♥志♥上
They broke into my house. They cut those letters out of
剪下了这些字母
my own personal issue of "Fonts" Magazine.
我知道你声称自己不发表任何观点
Look, I know you claim not to have any opinions,
但你明显就有一个观点
but you obviously have one--
就是我永远是错的
that I'm always wrong.
要是你听我的就不会成现在这样了
If you listened to me, you wouldn't be in this mess.
拜托帮帮我珀尔莎
Please help me, Portia.
我什么都可以给你
I'll give you anything.
价值25美元的椰子连锁店礼券怎么样
How about a $25 gift card to Coconuts?
我很遗憾
Look, I'm sorry that
新闻的中立性不复存在
impartiality in journalism is dead,
但是事已至此
but this is where we are now.
这是监狱规则你要么选边站
It's prison rules. You either pick a side,
要么和所有人都对立
or everyone kicks the crap out of you.
我参加了第二季的《名人监狱》
I was on season two of "Celebrity Lockup".
但我不想选边站
But I don't want to pick a side!
现在我该怎么做
Now what do I do?
风味弗拉福
Well, as Flavor Flav said
在用磨尖勺子挖地道
before he used a sharpened spoon
通往自♥由♥之前他说
to tunnel his way to freedom,
"我有一个计划海蒂·蒙塔格"
"I have a plan, Heidi Montag."
我很遗憾他们俩是灵魂伴侣宝贝
I'm sorry they're soul mates, pumpkin.
回家路上想吃点冰淇淋吗
Wanna get some ice cream on the way home?
我请客
My treat.
等等我没有银行账户
Oh, wait, I don't have a bank account.
不等等
No, hang on.
你喜欢内部笑话吗你喜欢
You like inside jokes? You like fun girls
懂得带动派对气氛又真的了解格雷格的
who know how to get the party started
有趣女孩吗
and know Greg really well?
竖起耳朵听听这个妈妈
Well, feast your ears on this, Mom.
我们在为一个酷哥庆贺
So, we are celebrating one cool dude.
老格雷加绍鲁斯·格赖克
Old Gregasaurus Grex.
这不是个常见的绰号♥
It's not an established nickname.
这...随便吧
It's... whatever.
我想他听了这首歌♥
I think he's going to know
会知道我在说些什么
where I'm coming from with this one.
*威士忌酒瓶*
*Whiskey bottles*
*全新跑车*
*Brand new cars*
*橡树挡了我的路*
*Oak tree, you're in my way*
*太多的可乐*
*There's too much coke*
*太多的烟雾*
*And too much smoke*
*看看你的内心变化*
*Look what's going on inside you*
马上你就懂了
It's gonna make sense in a second.
*那气味*
*Ooh, that smell*
*你闻不到那气味*
*Can't you smell that smell*
*那气味*
*Ooh, that smell*
*萦绕在你身边的死亡气味*
*The smell of death surrounds you*
格雷格你还记得吗
Greg, you remember? You remember
你记得那个好笑的内部笑话吗
that funny inside joke?
-不记得 -你在说什么
- No. - What are you talking about?
你记得那次我们全都出门
You remember that time we all went out
庆祝酗酒周四吗大概一年前
for Thirsty Thursday? It was like a year ago.
我们都去了我们听见那个
We all went out. We heard that woman
走出厕所的女人
coming out of the bathroom
用难听的声音唱着"那气味"
singing "Ooh, That Smell" in that terrible voice?
你还记得吗
You remember?
*那气味*
*Ooh, that smell*
我记得格雷格当时不在
I remember. Greg wasn't there.
-不是吧 -我也记得
- Oh, no. - I also remember.
我就是那个唱歌♥的女人
I was the woman singing.
你还说我唱得好
You said it was good,
鼓励我去参加《美国之声》
and I should try out for "The Voice."
好吧抱歉
Okay, I'm sorry.
好我要走了
Yeah, I'm--I'm out.
法律规定必须把歌♥唱完
该死为什么
Damn it, why?
*那气味*
*Oh, that smell*
欢迎回到座谈会
Welcome back to our panel.
嘉宾还是波·杰弗逊
Still with us, Bo Jefferson,
财政保守派厢车居民
fiscally conservative van resident.
自♥由♥派的代表是
And on the liberal side,
首字母小写的丹尼尔
daniel with a lowercase D.
我们今晚已经听了许多观点
Now we've heard a lot of opinions tonight,
但你还没有发表意见查克
but we haven't heard from you, Chuck,
那么你站在哪一边
so what side are you on?
珀尔莎既然所有人都
Well, Portia, if everyone wants
这么想知道我怎么看
to know what I think so badly,
那就来吧
here it is.
我们需要保护环境
We need to protect the environment.
没错因为地球母亲...
Exactly, because Mother Earth--
用机关枪扫射废弃房♥屋
The environment of fun that shooting a machine gun
所创造的娱乐环境
into an abandoned house creates.
-等等什么 -我还认为
- Wait, what? - And I also believe that
耶稣应该属于学校
Jesus belongs in our schools.
-阿门 -只因为他是我的园丁
- Amen. - Just because he's my gardener
既非法又基佬
and illegal and gay
不代表他不能免费上大学
doesn't mean he shouldn't go to college for free.
这话我不爱听
I don't like that part.
我们还要建美国和墨西哥的
And we need to build that wall
边境墙...
between the US and Mexico--
还有门和屋顶
and a door, and a roof,
因为我们要花政♥府♥的钱
because we're building a giant duplex
建一座所有人都能住的公♥寓♥
where everyone can live on the government's dime.
《新闻快报》就为您播报到这里
That's all from us here at the Breakdown.
晚安
Good night.
刚才怎么回事
Uh, what just happened?
完全搞不懂
I have no idea, man.
恭喜查克
Congratulations, Chuck.
你完全把推特网友搞晕了
You completely confused Twitter.
所有人都转到了"制♥作♥三明治"的话题下
Everyone's already moved on to #SandwichesBeLike.
我现在懂了
I get it now.
如果你受制于监狱规则