老妈撞入电视台（2017）

Great News S02E06

Part 2 July 12, 2020, 2:13 p.m.

- Really? - Yeah.
这可不像你
That's not like you.
以前那些男孩子都叫你铁胃
All the boys used to call you The Iron Stomach
还掏一大笔钱看你吃东西
and pay good money to watch you eat.
希望你能早点好起来
Well, I hope you feel better.
我们可以明晚再看
We can watch it tomorrow night.
警♥察♥吗我叫凯柔我的女儿对我撒了谎
911, it's Carol. My daughter just lied to me,
这说明她有危险
which means she is in grave danger.
美国著名男演员《飓风营救》系列男主角
能麻烦您帮我接通连姆·尼森的电♥话♥吗
Would you connect me, please, to Liam Neeson's line?
卡维尔我回来了
Carvell, I'm home!
-不错不错 -打得好
- Oh, nice! Nice, man. - Good move.
-干得漂亮 -卡维尔
- Good job, good job. - Carvell?
你是怎么跳的
What makes you jump up like that?
我是谁我知道了
Which one am I? Oh, I got it!
-查克怎么在这儿 -我们在大卫·布莱恩秀
- What's Chuck doing here? - We had so much fun
玩得太嗨了所以决定回家继续
at David Blaine, we decided to keep hanging out here.
我俩把啤酒都喝光了
We drank all the beers.
还给查克的泌尿科医生打了整蛊电♥话♥
We prank called Chuck's urologist.
我们还游了泳
And we went for a swim.
上演了一出泳池秀
We made a pool show.
卡维尔选的曲子
Carvell chose all the music,
我设计的动作
and I designed the moves.
查克从我腿中间游过去
Then Chuck swam through my legs.
然后我冒出水面
And then I pop up,
他再把我抛出去我再转个圈
and he throws me, and I do a special spin.
-所以你俩现在是朋友了 -巨铁
- Okay, so you guys are like friends now? - Big time!
有名气的成年男人交朋友可不容易
It's not easy to make friends if you're a famous adult male.
我和卡维尔有数不清的共同点
And Carvell and I have like a ton in common.
我们都喜欢看那些
We're both really into compilations
在美国本土
of sexy commercials
不能播出的性感广♥告♥集锦
that they can't show in the United States!
宝贝他能留下过夜吗
Hey, babe, can he sleep over?
求求你了卡维尔夫人
Please, Mrs. Carvell?
格雷格你能载我回家吗
Hey, Greg, would you mind driving me home?
天晚了我晚上不能开车
It's gotten dark, and I have trouble driving at night.
我有一次以为停车标志
I once thought a stop sign
是我们镇上新开的塔吉特超♥市♥的商标
was a logo for a new Target in my town.
我兴奋地直加速
I got so excited I sped up
-结果就进医院了 -没问题凯柔
- and T-boned an ambulance. - Sure, Carol, it's fine.
别担心我没打小算盘
Don't worry. I'm not up to something.
抱歉你刚才说什么
I'm so sorry. What were you saying?
我竟然真的参加了监视行动
I can't believe I'm on a real stakeout.
国会议员遭到勒索...
A congressman getting blackmailed--
我感觉自己在拍《纸牌屋》
I feel like I'm on "House of Cards."
"弗莱迪你已经胜过了"
Freddy, you have outdone yourself
-"这些肋排" -那什么
- with these ribs. - Oh, you know what?
车里有几瓶运动饮料
There's some bottles of Gatorade down there
如果你口渴的话可以喝然后往里边撒尿
if you need something to drink. And then pee in.
然后不小心喝掉
And then accidentally almost drink.
接着再喝五次
And then five times drink.
我们在哪儿这不是你家
Where are we? This isn't where you live.
格雷格我有事向你坦白
Greg, I have a confession to make.
我们之前对话的时候我扭了手指
When we were speaking earlier, my fingers were crossed.
-又来了 -我很担心凯蒂
- Not again. - I'm worried about Katie.
她对我撒了谎我觉得她是有危险
She lied to me, and I think she's in trouble.
我需要一个勇猛的人
I needed somebody brave and strong
来帮我监视她
to help me spy on her,
但是我必须离斯科特·巴库拉45米远
but I'm not allowed within 50 yards of Scott Bakula,
-所以我把你叫来了 -我要离开这里
- so I brought you. - We're leaving.
没钥匙你是走不掉的
You're not going without these keys.
你还是走不了
We're still not leaving.
别撅嘴了只要我们查清楚
Oh, stop pouting. We can leave as soon as
那辆车里发生了什么就可以走了
we figure out what's going on in that car.
如果你觉得无聊就听玛利亚医生的频道
If you're bored, listen to Dr. Maria.
她在节目里会提一些情感建议
She gives love advice on her show,
有时候会特别劲爆哦
and it can get pretty steamy.
玛利亚医生时间 95.8调频
在我第三次切除子♥宫♥以后
And after my third hysterectomy,
那种干燥...
the dryness...
行了听不下去了我们可以走了吗
Okay, I hate this. Please, can we leave?
凯蒂很明显是在约会
Katie's obviously on a date.
她不想告诉你
She didn't want to tell you
是因为她觉得你会小题大做
because she thought you'd go insane.
-你现在就是在这么做 -天啊约会
- Which you did. - Oh, God, a date?
我还以为她和贩毒分子在一起
I thought she was with a cartel guy
然后被他用作毒骡
using her as a drug mule.
但约会比这更糟好吗
But a date is so much worse!
-你说什么呢 -什么样的渣男
- What are you talking about? - What kind of a garbage man
会带女孩子到仓库区来约会
would take a girl on a date in the warehouse district?
至少她在和一个货真价实的捡垃圾的约会的时候
At least when she was dating that actual garbage man,
那人带她去垃圾场来了场月色下的兜风
he took her for a moonlit carriage ride in the dump.
这都是你的错你为啥就不能有点表示
This is all your fault. If you had just made a move.
凯蒂很明显喜欢...
Katie obviously liked y--
什么你说凯蒂很明显喜欢...
I'm sorry, Katie obviously liked...
没什么没什么
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
我只是个精疲力竭的老女人
I'm just a tired old woman.
请忘掉我说的话
Forget everything I said.
我真的啥都没说
I mean, I haven't said anything.
真的真的没说
I still haven't. I still haven't.
凯蒂爱你
Katie loves you.
她真的特别喜欢你
I mean she likes you a lot.
糟了我这手怎么就没能堵住嘴呢
Damn it! I thought my hands were stronger than this!
勒索交易什么时候开始
Hey, when do blackmail exchanges tend to go down?
大概很快了吧
It's probably gonna be pretty soon, huh,
-这可是工作日的晚上 -别这样
- on a weeknight? - No, no, dude.
你不能打哈欠好吗
You can't yawn, all right?
会传染的
Ahh! It's contagious.
行了拍醒自己杰米
Ah! Okay. Snap out of it, Jeremy.
这才第一晚你还没赢得你的
It's only night one. You have not earned
-琳德松露球 -什么第一晚
- your Lindor truffles yet. - Wait--night one?
你都不知道第几晚才做交易
You don't even know what night this is going down?
别急啊有线新闻记者行吗
Take it easy, cable news, all right?
坚持不了没关系回家睡觉去
It's okay if you can't hang. Go home and get some sleep.
明天我说不定还会来
I'll probably be out here again tomorrow.
你到时候再来陪我也行
You can come stick it out with me then.
我不累
I'm not too tired.
我很好谢谢
I'm fine, thank you.
其实我有个主意不如我们
I actually have an idea. What if we rode
骑着乌龟去祖母家让她带我们去找卡伦
that turtle to Grandma's and she took us to Karen?
你说的对我要回家了
You know what, you're right. I'm gonna go.
好主意
Good idea.
你认为凯蒂对我有兴趣
You think Katie's interested in me.
你怎么知道的
How do you know that?
因为我长着眼睛格雷格
Because I have eyes, Greg.
如果不是你那蠢爆的英式作风
You two could have had a good thing
你们俩应该会成就一段佳话
if you hadn't blown it with your stupid British
"我对你有好感凯蒂
"I have feelings for you, Katie,
"但是从远处什么什么
"But from afar. What, what?
"我好像戴错了帽子"
I seem to have misplaced my hat!"
真行这家伙都不会
Oh, great, this jamoke won't even
送她回家的
give her a ride home.
我们走
Let's go.
我说开始的时候
So when I say go,
我会以天鹅式跳下来
I'll jump in swan position.
你接住我把我抛向空中
You catch me, throw me back in the air,
翻三圈无水花入水
triple flips, splashless dive,
这叫"辣舞"抛举懂了吗
"Dirty Dancing" lift. Got it?
-准备好了吗开始 -两位
- Okay, ready? Go! - Hey, guys!
你应该接住我的
You're supposed to catch me!
-查克我能和你说两句吗 -好
- Chuck, can I talk to you for a second? - Sure.
怎么了珀尔莎