老妈撞入电视台（2017）

Great News S02E04

Part 3 July 12, 2020, 2:13 p.m.

You take our complex stories and turn them
丁丁点的口水段子我在《时报》写了一篇
into little tiny soundbites. I did a "Times" Piece
关于库尔德人♥民♥报卫军女兵的专题文章
on a female militia in the Kurdish YPG,
CNN却报道成"婊♥子♥打枪"
and CNN reported it as "Bitches be Shooting."
听着哥们我上头的人
Listen, bud. I've worked for the respect
是我整个职业生涯都十分崇敬的人
of the people in this room for my entire career,
谁都别想毁了我今晚的好心情
and no one is going to ruin this night for me.
《纽♥约♥时♥报♥》的混♥蛋♥不行我脱线的占座员老妈
Not some "New York Times" Jerk, and not my unhinged seat filler
-更不行 -天啊我妈去哪了
- mom, who-- - Oh my God, where's my mom?
什么你带你妈来了
What? You brought your mother?
是而我光顾着和你吵架把她弄丢了
Yes, and now I've lost her because I was arguing with you,
你个混♥蛋♥
you stupid bastard!
我必须赶在她闯祸之前找到她
I have to find her before it's too late!
接下来我们将要颁发
Coming up next, the award for
一小时新闻节目最佳调查新闻奖
Best Investigative Piece in a One-Hour News Program.
那是我提名的奖太晚了
That's my category. It's too late.
不好意思你看到我妈了吗
Excuse me! Hi, have you seen my mom?
134号♥占座员我找不到她了
Seat filler 134? I can't find her.
占座员脱逃了
A seat filler went rogue?
红色警报有人逃跑
Code red, I think we have a runner!
立即抓回来活要见人死要见尸
Bring her back, dead or alive!
我们来颁发
We're here to present the award
一小时新闻节目最佳调查新闻奖
for Best Investigative Piece in a One-Hour News Program.
他们就要宣布我得奖了可我找不到我妈了
They're announcing my award and I can't find my mom.
我知道她一定会做什么丢人的事
I know she's gonna do something embarrassing.
一小时新闻节目
And the winner for Best Investigative Piece
最佳调查新闻奖得主是
in a one-hour news program is:
来自《前线》节目的劳拉·德梅西
Laura DeMassey, "Frontline"!
-不要啊我输了 -抱歉凯蒂
- Oh no, I lost. - I'm sorry, Katie.
你应该得奖的
You deserved that award.
谁在乎我妈要冲上台搅局了
Who cares? My mother's gonna Kanye!
劳拉·德梅西主持制♥作♥了
Laura DeMassey was the producer and subject
《前线》新闻报道
of her "Frontline" piece
《我与慢骨头癌的斗争》
"My Battle With Slow Bones Disease."
快点啊女士说完谢谢赶紧下台吧
Come on, lady. Just say thank you and get off.
每年都会有约〇人罹患慢骨头癌
Slow Bones Disease affects nearly zero people every year.
韦氏...
Webster's...
词典...
Dictionary...
定义了...
defines...
天啊下颚也是骨头
Oh, god. The jaw is a bone!
"骄傲"...
"Proud"...
结束了结束了我妈什么都没做
It's over! It's over! My mom didn't do anything!
她错过了我的奖等等我妈错过了我的奖
She missed my award! Wait, my mom missed my award?
女士们先生们
Ladies and gentlemen,
大卫·温克利终身成就奖
the David Winkly Lifetime Achievement Award.
伦·阿彻
一生战斗在头条
我是伦·阿彻在洛杉矶暴♥乱♥现场为您直播
This is Len Archer, reporting live from the LA Riots.
在柏林墙现为您直播
Live from the Berlin Wall.
在33名智利矿工被困现场为您直播
Live from the Chilean mine where 33 men remain trapped.
你们还撑得住吗
How have you been holding up?
等等他能下来我们为什么不能上去
说的有道理
He's got a good point.
那才是永不妥协的人该有的职业生涯
Now that's the career of a man who never sold out!
如果我想你一样坚持立场我就会主持
If I stood my ground like you did, I could be hosting
《查克·皮尔斯秀》了
"The Chuck Pierce Show" Right now.
你很幸运伦即使退休
You're lucky, Len. You get to retire knowing
你也已经站在巅峰了
you went out on top.
-退休绝不 -你不退休
- Retire? Never! - You're not retiring?
《伦·阿彻秀》都要结束了
"The Len Archer Show" is ending!
但只是在电视上他们说我的节目
On television! They said I wasn't getting the ratings
没人看了然后他们想让我和一个
anymore, and they wanted me to share a desk
年轻主播同台主持我告诉他们没门
with a young co-host. I told them no way!
谁都别想告诉伦·阿彻怎么主持《伦·阿彻秀》
Nobody tells Len Archer how to do "The Len Archer Show!"
所以我们转移到了油管付费频道了
That's why we're moving over to YouTube Red,
我的节目和以前一模一样一点没变
and the show will stay exactly the way it's always been.
而且还有一堆小年轻
Plus, there's these teen boys
在我念新闻的时候恶作剧捉弄我失陪
who prank me while I read the news. Excuse me.
等等什么
Wait, what?
中东局势持续紧张土耳其
Tensions rise in the Middle East as Turkey
库尔德欲独♥立♥ 土耳其态度引担忧
敦促伊♥拉♥克♥库族...
urges Iraqi Kurds to--
油罐车起火致百死
我们的政策一贯非常明确...
We have had a very clear--a very clear policy...
老伦啊真是个传说
That Len. What a legend.
传说他让小屁孩朝他放屁
A legend? He's letting teens fart on him!
至少你是体体面面退下来的
At least you retired with your dignity.
我没退我还在主持《恩碧玺晚间新闻》
I didn't retire! I'm the host of the "Embassy Nightly News."
不是你主持是莱斯特·霍特
No, you're not! Lester Holt is!
不是那个NBC
No, not the "NBC Nightly News,"
是恩碧玺酒店的晚间新闻
the "Embassy Nightly News" At Embassy Suites!
我的节目在你入住酒店房♥间打开电视最先看到的
I'm on the menu channel when you first turn on your TV
默认启动频道里
in your hotel room!
"请注意客房♥服务晚十点截止
"This just in, room service ends at 10,
"但附近有家丹尼家餐厅走几步就到"
but there is a Denny's within walking distance."
不不哈罗德你肯定...
No. No. Harold, surely you--
《罗德·鲍尔一小时新闻》收视仍然十分强劲
Oh, "The Harold Bauer News Hour" Is still going strong.
谢天谢地
Oh, thank God.
只不过我们被调到恐怖频道了
Only now we're over on the Chiller Network,
他们还想让地下室看门的和我一起主播
and they wanted the Crypt Keeper to be my co-host.
但我拒绝了他们就说
But I said no, and then they said,
我们不会付你钱的
well then, we won't pay you.
我说随便所以现在我在免费干活
And I said fine, so now I'm doing the show for free.
但我没有妥协
But I didn't compromise.
女士们先生们有请伦·阿彻
Ladies and gentlemen, Len Archer.
这大约是我这一生最骄傲的时刻了
This is probably the proudest moment of my life.
当我刚刚投身于新闻广播事业时
When I started in the broadcasting business
我才35岁什么天啊孩子们别闹
about 35--what? No. God, no. Not now. Boys, not now.
别在这求你们了
Not here! Please, boys!
妈
Mom!
也有可能是丽塔·莫雷诺的性格小妹妹
Or is it Rita Moreno's younger, hotter sister?
你去哪了他们刚刚宣布了我提名的奖项
Where have you been? They just announced my award.
-我输了 -不
- I lost. - Oh, no.
我恨遗憾亲爱的我一直忙着准备我的奖
I'm so sorry, sweetie. I guess I was so busy getting ready
就把你的给忘了
for my award I missed yours.
什么你的奖
What? Your award?
《新闻快报》提名了
Well, "The Breakdown" is up for an award,
我也是团队的一员所以我也被提名了
and I work for it, so I'm up for it too.
真不敢相信这是我人生第一个奖项
I can't believe it. It's the first time in my life
第一次受到别人的认可这很酷吧
I've ever been recognized for anything. It's cool, huh?
等等好吧你口口声声说的我们的奖项
Wait, so okay. When you kept saying our award,
实际上是指...天呐
you actually meant--oh, boy.
我懂了凯蒂你以为凯柔
I get it! Katie, you thought that Carol
会把你的夜晚当成她的
was gonna make your night all about her.
但事实上是你把她的夜晚当成了你的
But actually, you made her night all about you.
这误解可真搞笑
What a funny miscommunication!
好了我想和大家一起上台
Okay, so I want to go up onstage with everyone.
所以我准备在这里躲到宣布我们的奖项
So I'm hiding out here until our category's announced, okay?
-别告诉佩罗文先生 -我不会的
- Don't tell Mr. Petrovian. - I won't.
但格雷格可能说了
But Greg might have.
你在这里跟我走
There she is. Come with me.
感谢提醒女士如果不是你
Thanks for the tip, ma'am. If it weren't for you,
这个座位填充品就能看节目了
this seat filler would have gotten to enjoy the show.
凯蒂
Katie?
你对你妈太刻薄了
You're like so mean to your mom.
让我留下来吧佩罗文先生
Let me stay, Mr. Petrovian.
-我会乖乖做一个座位填充品 -安静 134号♥
- I'll be a good seat filler. - Silence, 134.
你唯一能占的座位是电动座椅
The only seat you'll be filling is the electric seat!
停下放开她她是我的伴
Stop! Stop! Let her go! She's my plus one!
等等你说你不能带伴的
Wait, you said you didn't get a plus one.
我撒谎了检查下名单
I lied. Check the list.
在"凯蒂·文德尔森"名字下面
It's on there under "Katie Wendelson,"
或者蔻迪·温科宾克
or Kody Winklebink.