老妈撞入电视台（2017）

Great News S02E03

Part 1 July 12, 2020, 2:13 p.m.

你找我
You wanted to see me?
我收到了点消息
I have some news,
我想让你第一个知道
and I wanted you to be the first to know.
其实是第40个
Well, like, 40th.
不过是我们台的第一个
But the first here at MMN.
好像应该也不是
No, I suppose not.
重点是我又升职了
The point is, I've been promoted--again.
恭喜你啊
Wow. Congratulations.
-真是大老板啊 -没错
- Like a boss. - Mm, very much so.
从下周开始我就是玩具武器电视台的
Starting next week, I will be the new COO
新任首席运营官了这家联合企业旗下有
of Waffen Spielzeug Fernsehen, the conglomerate which owns
MMN电视台孩之宝以及洛克希德·马丁公♥司♥
MMN, Nerf, and Lockheed Martin.
孩之宝为儿童玩具公♥司♥
洛克希德·马丁公♥司♥为美国航♥空♥航♥天♥制♥造♥商
联合企业啊厉害
Mm. Congromelate. Yes.
我会在斯图加特[德国]工作不过周末
I'll be working from Stuttgart, but on the weekends,
我会在白令海上
I'll be able to meet my children halfway
乘坐航♥空♥母舰见我的孩子
on an aircraft carrier in the Bering Sea.
孩子们都喜欢白令海
Children love the Bering Sea.
那你就不在这里了
So you won't be around?
可你是我的导师啊
But you're my mentor.
那我要是遇上道德难题你能出现在云里给我指引吗
Could you appear in the clouds when I have a moral conundrum?
我倒是有木法沙科技产品不过很贵的
I do have Mufasa technology, but it's very expensive.
对了最后一件事
Oh, one last thing.
我知道你一直
I know that you have been trying to
想知道你下一步该干什么可我觉得
figure out your next move, but I think
你该有自己的头衔了
you've earned a title bump.
你觉得高级助理制片人怎么样
How would you like to be senior associate producer?
凯蒂·文德尔森高级助理制片人
Katie Wendelson, Senior Associate Producer.
天啊我多希望我知道怎么改自己的邮箱签名
Oh, man, I wish I knew how to change my email signature,
到现在我的签名还是"帕拉默斯高中曲棍球队加油"
'cause it still says, "Go, Paramus High Field Hockey!"
我不会让你失望的
I won't let you down.
我知道你不会
I'm sure you won't.
妈
Mom!
妈大新闻
Mom, huge news.
戴安娜给我升职了
Diana just gave me a promotion.
凯蒂太棒了
Oh, Katie, that's great! Oh!
我已经可以看到
Oh, I can see it now.
大办公室豪华书桌金制名牌
Corner office, fancy desk, gold nameplate.
为什么你办公室里我的照片那么少
Hey, why aren't there more pictures of me in there?
只是一个头衔而已
Well, no, it's just a title,
但我终于觉得自己是在向正确的方向前进了
but I finally feel like I'm headed in the right direction.
那可真是太好了凯蒂
Oh, that's great, Katie.
说到高级企业改革
Oh. Oh, speaking of high-level corporate shake-ups,
布莱登·R大二要回罗格斯大学了
Brayden R. is going back to Rutgers for his sophomore year,
也就是说实习生主管的职位要空出来了
which means there's an opening for a new head intern.
等等布莱登·R还是大学新生
Wait a minute. Brayden R. was only a freshman?
但他已经满18了对吧
He was over 18, though, right?
你会去申请吗
So are you gonna apply?
我
Me?
不要我可不是当领导的料
Oh, no, I don't think that I'm leadership material.
妈不要低估你自己
Mom, don't underestimate yourself.
你想要什么就该努力
If you want something, you should go for it,
就像我和戴安娜那样
like I did with Diana.
你说得对凯蒂
You're right, Katie.
我会申请那份工作的
I should apply for that job.
你可真是指路明灯
Wow, you give good advice.
你对女同床死亡了解多少
What do you know about lesbian bed death?
指生活在一起后性生活频率低或不和谐
我觉得你和我爸好像出这个问题了
Because I think it's happening to Daddy and me.
老妈闯入电视台
第二季第三集
戴安娜又升职了
Wow, Diana got another promotion?
恭喜戴安娜
她就是我的英雄
She's, like, my hero.
之前是泰薇·盖文森但她现在老了
It used to be Tavi Gevinson, but then she got old.
1996年出生美国最年轻的著名时尚博主
我本来可以早点回来的
I would've been back sooner, but the lady
可帕斯马克烘焙店的蛋糕师太愣了
at the Pathmark bakery counter wasn't super on the ball.
"用蓝色糖霜写上
Mm-hmm, "Congratulations Diana
"恭喜戴安娜还有一个感叹号♥
"In blue icing with an exclamation point
"我要不要在戴安娜后面写上凯蒂
"After Diana should I put from Katie on the cake
"还是直接告诉她这是我送的你在干什..."
"Or just tell her it was from me hey what are you"...
真可惜戴安娜要走了
Too bad Diana's leaving.
我绝对能搞到她的
I totally could've hit that.
-拜托 -呵呵是啊
- Come on, man. - Um, uh-huh. Right.
就像你上次告诉我你搞上了洛娜·杜恩
Like the time you told us you hooked up with Lorna Doone.
那明明是块曲奇
That's a cookie.
所以我不算是撒谎
So it wasn't technically a lie.
别那么恶心贾斯汀戴安娜是我们的上司
Don't be disgusting, Justin. Diana is our boss.
你就是嫉妒
You're just jealous.
我告诉你她之前来我的编辑室
I'm telling you, she came into my edit bay
想要跟我法式热吻呢
and tried to French all over me.
好了你最近
Okay, you've said
说了好多事我现在觉得
a lot of stuff recently that makes me think
你根本不知道性♥爱♥是什么
you don't know what sex is.
你听到消息了对不对是真的
So you heard the news? It's true.
我拿到实习生主管的工作了
I got the head intern job.
太棒了老妈等等那是给戴安娜的
That's great, Mom. Wait, no, that's for Diana!
给我的蛋糕
A cake for me?
看来你们听说我的大代言项目了是真的
So you heard about my big endorsement deal. It's true.
站在你们面前的就是番茄汁理事会的新代言人
You're looking at the new face of the Tomato Juice Council.
番茄尝一口
Tomatoes--take a sip.
请
Please?
等等不不不
Wait, no, no, no, ju--
你找我
You wanted to see me?
哦对是关于今晚的座谈会
Oh, yes, it's about tonight's panel.
杰夫·塞申斯同意来上节目了
Jeff Sessions has agreed to be on the show,
司法部长
可我们的电♥话♥簿不够多没法把椅子垫高
but we don't have enough telephone books for his chair.
很抱歉
I'm sorry.
我好像把笔掉地上了
I seem to have dropped my pen.
你介不介意弯腰帮我捡一下
Would you mind bending over and picking it up?
当然没问题
Oh, yes, of course.
我可真笨
Clumsy me.
这次慢一点
Slower this time.
我被性骚扰了
I've been sexually harassed.
我的天啊
Oh, my God!
骚扰原来是这么发音的吗
That's how you say "harassed"?
你说你被骚扰了是什么意思
What do you mean you got harassed?
是查克吗我本来不想说的
Was it Chuck? I wasn't gonna say anything,
可我觉得他好像觉得你是女的
but I think he might think you're a girl.
-不是是戴安娜 -等等戴安娜
- No, it was Diana. - Wait, Diana?
没错贾斯汀说的是真的
Yes, Justin was right.
她让我觉得自己就是砧板上的肉
She made me feel like a piece of meat.
她对你做了什么
Okay, what did she do to you?
我们在她办公室里
We were in her office,
然后突然凯蒂
and out of nowhere, Katie,
她的笔就掉了
she dropped her pen.
她的笔掉了
Dropped her pen?
对不起我不知道那么多性♥爱♥动作
I'm sorry, I don't know that many sex moves.
《时尚COSMO》问答游戏里说
According to a "Cosmo" Quiz,
我光是躺在那里就已经很漂亮了
I'm pretty enough to just lie there.
不不不她是把笔掉在了地上
No, no, she dropped her pen
然后让我捡起来
and made me pick it up.
等等就这样
Wait, that's it? Ugh.
男人总是会觉得女人是想和他们上♥床♥
Men always think that women are trying to sleep with them.
只要女人对男人稍微好一点
If a woman is even u202dthe slightest bit nice to a man,
他就觉得她是爱上他了
he thinks it's because she's in love with him.
别这么激动我有女朋友的
Relax. I've got a girlfriend.
我知道贾斯汀会这样
I expect that kind of thing from Justin,
可你格雷格
but from you, Greg?
也许她不是故意的
Maybe it was innocent.
但感觉就是不对啊
But--but it felt wrong.