老妈撞入电视台（2017）

Great News S02E13

Part 1 July 12, 2020, 2:14 p.m.

好了亲爱的好好工作
Okay, honey, have a good day at the office.
-帮我向大家问好 -妈已经一周了
- Tell everyone hi for me. - Mom. It's been a week.
你确定你不想回来吗
Are you sure you don't want to come back?
少了你每次来短♥信♥那响彻云霄的《月亮之上》
The newsroom's been so quiet without your phone blasting
编辑室里都特别安静
"La Cucaracha" every time you get a text.
这样大家都好再说如果我要上班的话
It's for the best. Plus, if I was working,
就没法开车送你上班还给你打包午餐了
I wouldn't be able to drive you to work or pack you a lunch!
妈我31岁了
Mom. I'm 31 years old.
不需要...午餐盒太棒了
I don't need... Lunchables! Sweet!
我还和我在新泽西的朋友们
Oh, and I've gotten to reconnect with
重新熟络起来了
all my New Jersey friends.
我错过了好多新闻啊
I've missed so much gossip.
你知不知道安琪的哥哥的水管工
Okay, did you know that Angie's brother's plumber
在和琳达的妹妹的遛狗人约会
is dating Linda's sister's dog walker?
-好棒啊 -怎么棒了
- Oh, that's nice. - How is that nice?
他们是兄妹啊
They're brother and sister!
妈
Mom.
也许你不愿意回来
I think maybe there's another reason
还有另外的原因
why you don't want to come back.
《早间酒报》的人不把你当回事
People didn't take you seriously at "Morning Wined Up,"
所以你现在气馁了
and now you're down on yourself.
亲爱的不要担心我
Honey, don't worry about me.
我没事我现在忙得很
I'm fine. I got a lot going on.
是安琪打来的
Oh. It's Angie.
她告诉我《观点》节目还没开始播
She just wants me to know "The View" isn't on yet.
行吧还没播
Okay. Still not on.
瞧瞧还是没播
Hmm. There you go. Still not on.
老妈闯入电视台
第二季第十三集[本季终]
很显然由于这场官司
So, obviously, because of the lawsuit,
电视台对我们可以报道的新闻
the network has put some restrictions
做出了规定
on what stories we can run.
然而节目必须继续谁有建议
However, the show must go on, so... who has pitches?
调查一下华尔街的
How about an investigation
频繁交易怎么样
into high-frequency trading on Wall Street?
太冒险了
Too risky.
戴安娜
Diana!
不如调查一下生日
What about an investigation
收到生日卡有多开心吧
into how nice it is to get a card on your birthday?
你好戴安娜你来这里干什么
Hello, Diana. What brings you here?
我有好消息要告诉你们
I have some exciting news.
我们和芬东·佩尔特达成了共识
We've reached an agreement with Fenton Pelt,
他愿意撤回诉讼
and he's willing to drop the lawsuit.
太棒了
That's terrific!
他只有一个要求就是让查克
His only stipulation is that Chuck read
在今晚的节目结束时读一封提前写好的供述
a prewritten statement at the end of tonight's show
从此不再播报新闻
and retire from news forever.
等等
Oh. Wait.
也就是说他再也不能工作了吗
Does this mean he'll never work again?
或是更糟连主持播客都不行了吗
Or worse, host a podcast?
他别无选择
Well, he has no choice.
芬东已经发出了他的复仇成功
Fenton already sent out invitations
玉米片派对的邀请函
to his post-revenge nacho party.
罗伯特上上罗伯特
Robert, up. Up, Robert.
我说往上妈的好吧罗伯特下
I said up, damn it! Okay, Robert... down.
成吧
It--okay.
说不定我们可以反击
But maybe there's a way we can fight back.
我还在想办法找到安东尼·里昂
I'm still trying to track down Anthony Lyon,
佩尔特曾经的生意伙伴
Pelt's old business partner.
我知道他来自新泽西
Now, I know he's from New Jersey,
所以我就查了新泽西所有叫安东尼的
so I did a search on Anthonys in New Jersey,
发现总共只有一千七百万人
and there's only 17 million of them.
没时间调查了
There's no time for investigations.
要么查克·皮尔斯在今晚的节目上隐退
Either Chuck Pierce retires on the show tonight,
要么《新闻快报》自此不再播...
or else "The Breakdown" is off the air for--
-哥们 -不好意思
- Dude. - Oh, I'm sorry.
你们刚刚在看球赛
Were you guys watching that?
-你找我 -对
- Hey. You wanted to see me? - Yes.
我很抱歉拖了这么久可我想和你在一起
I'm sorry it took so long, but I want to be with you.
我和小凯谈过了
I've already talked with Cat, and--
天啊
Oh, my God.
天啊你们没有分手
Oh, God, you guys didn't break up.
不行快告诉我怎么把吻收回来
Oh, no. Quick, how do you take a kiss back?
我本来想说的是我已经和小凯谈过了
What I was gonna say was, I have talked with Cat,
尽管我们还没有分手
and although we have not yet broken up,
但也快了
I have begun the process.
我计划了一个"我们需要谈谈"咖啡座谈会
I've scheduled a "We need to talk" coffee
我会在那里为这段感情种下
where I will plant the seeds of dissatisfaction
不满的种子
in the relationship, which,
之后再谈两三次
after two or three conversations,
就会绽放出美丽的花朵了
will flower into a wonderful breakup.
你知道吗
Okay, you know what?
这就跟土拨鼠日似的
This feels like Groundhog Day.
这是我给我们学校带我们去屠宰场郊游
That's what I call the day my school took a field trip
我看到一头猪被搅碎的那天起的名字
to a slaughterhouse and I saw a hog get ground up.
那天对我来说并不好过
It was kind of a bad day.
凯蒂我想和你在一起
Katie, I want us to be together.
可我必须小心对待小凯
I just have to be careful with Cat.
她是演员
She's an actress,
谁知道她会如何表现
so who knows how she'll take it:
是会尖叫痛苦表演一出独角戏
screaming, crying, a one-woman show
看她和圣女贞德聊我的老二
where she talks to Joan of Arc about my penis?
有人吗
Hello?
我是查克·皮尔斯
I'm Chuck Pierce?
我今晚要上节目
I'm supposed to be on the show tonight?
-查克 -贾斯汀
- Chuck? - Justin!
我想死你的脸了
Oh, I missed that face!
我漂亮的小男孩
Oh, my beautiful boy.
查克
So, um... Chuck.
你最近忙什么呢
What've you been up to?
各种事
All kinds of stuff.
我坐过很多长椅
I sat on a lot of benches.
还从我家每扇窗户往外看
I looked out all the windows in my house.
甚至还去了一个苹果园
I even went to an apple orchard.
现在苹果还没熟
It's not apple season,
不过我觉得这些树肯定也很希望有人能在
but I thought the trees might enjoy some attention
别的季节给它们点关注
in the other parts of the year.
真棒
Very cool.
你今晚打算怎么办查克
So, uh, what's your plan for tonight, Chuck?
我打算怎么办有啥好问的当然是做直播
What's my plan? Why, to go on the air
然后耻辱隐退了
and retire in shame, of course.
不然我来这里干嘛你们几个傻子
Why else would I be here, you knucklehead?
谢谢你来做彩排查克
Thanks for coming to rehearsal, Chuck.
我这里有芬东·佩尔特给你写的供述
I have the statement Fenton Pelt wrote for you.
或许我们应该先过一遍
Maybe we should talk it over first.
不用了
Oh, I'm sure it's fine.
那你准备好就开始吧
Okay, well, whenever you're ready.
我是查克·皮尔斯我是个人♥渣♥
I'm Chuck Pierce, and I'm more trash than man.
然而芬东·佩尔特是个优秀的青年才俊
Fenton Pelt, however, is a brilliant young genius,
我出于嫉妒对他以及他的事业
and I made up lies about him and his businesses
做出了不实报道
because I was jealous.
此次将会是我最后一次播报新闻
This will be my final broadcast.
如果你们在街上看到我
If you ever see me on the street,
请对我说我是个垃圾把口香糖揉进我头发里
please tell me I suck, and mush gum in my hair.
再见
Good-bye.
还行吗我可以读得再快一点
Was that okay? I can do it faster.
查克你不能在直播里说这个
Chuck, you can't say that on air.
-为什么不能 -你是怎么了
- Why not? - What has gotten into you?
你难道不想反击吗
Don't you want to fight back?
我反击了可没用啊芬东赢了
I did. It didn't work. Fenton won.
老实说我很开心他赢了
And to be honest, I'm glad he did.