老妈撞入电视台（2017）

Great News S02E13

Part 4 July 12, 2020, 2:14 p.m.

Sliced pear on a sandwich?
怎么想的
For what reason?
他唠唠叼叼几小时了
He has been blathering for hours!
这话什么意思他想说多久就多久
What do you mean, he can go on as long as he wants?
想个办法啊
Well, do something.
大家都不参加我的派对了
People are leaving my amazing party!
嘿派对真好玩
Hey! This was so fun!
我要走了
I'm gonna jet.
好吧
Okay.
他说他不和记者说话
He said he doesn't talk to reporters.
我们完蛋了
We're screwed.
宝贝真遗憾
Sweetie, I'm sorry.
想想好的一面起风了
Ugh, well, on the bright side, the wind's picking up,
所以我们回家的路上
so the Jersey stench will be on our backs
会甩掉新泽西的臭气
on the ride home.
等等你不是记者
Wait a minute, you're not a reporter!
-或许他会跟你谈 -不
- Maybe he'll talk to you! - Oh, no.
妈你必须说服他去上节目
Mom, you have to convince him to be on the show.
你是我们唯一的希望了
You're our only hope.
我不行凯蒂
I can't, Katie.
我会一如既往地把事搞砸
I'll screw it up like I screw up everything.
为什么你总说丧气话
Why do you keep saying stuff like that?
说真的你只是经历了一个小挫折
Seriously, you had one little setback,
现在就要自暴自弃吗
and now you're just giving up on yourself?
我不懂
I don't get it!
你总是在我需要时给我打气啊
You're always building me up when I need it.
因为你身边没有像你这样的人
It's because you don't have a you.
妈妈们总能让别人感觉自己无所不能
Moms are always making everyone else feel
但是谁来鼓励妈妈们呢
like they can do anything, but who does that for moms?
过去是奥普拉
It used to be Oprah.
但现在她的脱口秀停播了
But now her show's off the air.
我已经七年没有看书或者喜欢过什么了
I haven't read a book or had a favorite thing in seven years.
好吧每次我想放弃时你都怎么对我说的
Okay, what do you say to me every time I want to quit?
放弃你这么优秀
Quit? You're amazing.
每当查克心情低落时你都怎么对他说的
And what do you say to Chuck whenever he's down?
"别放弃你是最棒的查克·皮尔斯"
"Don't you give up. You're the great Chuck Pierce."
好所以现在你要对凯柔说些什么
Okay, so what do you say to Carol right now?
你简直一无是处
You are a no-good good-for-nothing!
脑袋短路百无一是
Short! Bad bangs!
不妈妈不
No, Mom! No.
快看凯柔需要你
Look. Carol needs you.
你要怎么对她说
What do you say to her?
我知道你想放弃
I know you want to quit.
你脑子里一直有个声音对你说
There's a voice in your head that keeps telling you
你是个失败者连试都不要试
you're a failure and you shouldn't even try.
别听那声音的话
Do not listen to that voice.
听我的
You listen to mine.
你很勇敢也很优秀
You are brave, and you're amazing.
你是最棒的凯柔·文德尔森...
You are the great Carol Wendelson...
你没问题
and you've got this.
干得漂亮
Good job.
快去吧宝贝
Now, go get 'em, pumpkin.
正因此当你在虾无限♥量♥供应期间
And that's why, when you buy a gift certificate
购买♥♥了红龙虾餐馆的礼券
at Red Lobster during an endless shrimp promotion,
那你无论什么时候用券
endless shrimp should apply
都应该得到无限♥量♥供应的虾
whenever you use the gift certificate.
我们需要一个新话题
We're gonna need a new topic.
红龙虾礼券政策
这是最后一个了
That's the last one.
现在...给我...停下
This... ends... now.
否则我的律师
Or else my lawyers do the legal equivalent
会把你告得屁滚尿流
of turning your butts inside-out.
说到下一个话题
For my next topic,
我的下一个话题是...
uh, my next topic is, uh...
不不我们没话题了
No, no. We don't have anything.
我没有话题可说了
I have, uh, no more t-topics.
我说了自己能想到的所有话题
I've said everything I could possibly think of,
我也希望能想出更多
and I just wish I could think of more,
因为我不想退休离开这些人
because I don't want to retire and leave these people,
这些在今晚和每一晩
people who've done everything that they could
都尽己所能帮助我的人们
to help me tonight and every night.
就比如贾斯汀
People like Justin,
每次我觉得冷就会坐在我脚上
who sits on my feet when I'm cold,
还有格雷格总让我看起来很聪明
and Greg, who always makes me look smart,
尽管我被诊断出是个医学白♥痴♥
even though I've been diagnosed as a medical idiot,
还有珀尔莎我起初开始做新闻不是因为她
and Portia, who's not the reason I got into the news
却绝对是因为她我才坚持下来
but she's certainly the reason I stayed in.
我爱他们
I love them all.
太可惜了
Well, too bad.
因为我刚收买♥♥了当地警方
Because I just bought your local police force,
他们现在正赶来收拾你们所有人
and they're on their way to murder all of you right now.
等等
Wait!
怎么回事
What is going on?
好了
Okay.
现在
And now, joining us
新闻快报
在节目持续的第七个小时加入我们的是
for the seventh hour of the show,
安东尼·里昂亿万富翁企业家
Anthony Lyon, former business partner
芬东·佩尔特的前生意伙伴
of billionaire entrepreneur Fenton Pelt.
安东尼谁带他来的
Anthony! Who did this?
是我
I did.
我用一段励志演讲
I gave him an inspirational speech
鼓舞他勇敢地挺身而出
about how he should be brave and come forward.
我还告诉他保密协议过期了
I also told him his NDA expired
他可以畅所欲言
and he could say whatever he wanted.
-妈妈真的吗 -我不知道
- Mom, is that true? - I don't know.
保密协议是什么
What's an NDA?
我在1991年和芬东·佩尔特
I founded an electronics company
成立了一家电子公♥司♥
with Fenton Pelt in 1991.
大约同一时期
Around the same time,
我和自己生父重逢
I reconnected with my biological father.
在我度过了一生最美好的两年后
After two of the best years of my life,
我爸病倒了需要肾移植
my dad fell ill and needed a kidney transplant.
毫无疑问我捐了肾
Of course, I offered.
当我从手术中醒来
When I woke up from the surgery,
芬东·佩尔特告诉我
Fenton Pelt revealed that he had pretended
是他一直在假扮我父亲
to be my father all along
还把我的肾扔进了湖里
and threw my kidney in a lake!
他说如果我不把
He told me that if I didn't sign
所有专利签字转让给他他就对我开枪
all of our patents over to him, that he would shoot me.
可尽管我同意了他还是开枪打了我
And when I agreed, he shot me anyway!
你们会后悔的
You'll regret this.
我要告你们一辈子
I'm gonna spend my life suing you,
一天24小时一周13天不停歇
24 hours a day, 13 days a week!
你没听错有钱人每周多6天
That's right. Rich people get six extra days.
好吧那你也要告他们吗
Okay! But are you gonna sue them?
芬东·佩尔特的意外消息
或者他们
Or them?
或者...
Or...
希拉里·克♥林♥顿♥对服务员做鬼脸
好吧没有他们
Okay, well, I guess not them.
芬东·佩尔特撤诉了
Fenton Pelt has dropped his lawsuit
逃去了超级汉普顿的全方位康复中心
and fled to everything rehab in the Super Hamptons.
查克你的停职结束
Chuck, your suspension is lifted.
欢迎回归
Welcome back.
真棒期待明天的直播
Great, looking forward to tomorrow's show.
还有凯柔我知道
And Carol, I understand that you played
你在整件事中♥功♥不可没
an important role in making this happen,
所以我想是时候给你一份正式工作了
so I think it's time you got a paying job.
什么真的吗
What? Really?
老实说凯柔这不是我的主意
Honestly, Carol, it wasn't my idea.
你偷取小额备用现金还有你整件外套
You steal from petty cash, and your entire jacket
现在都塞在内♥裤♥里