蝙蝠侠：英勇无畏（2008）

消灭他们!
Destroy them!
小心别滑倒在市民们上, 海王
Careful not to slip on the citizens, Aquaman.
现在需要采取行动
This calls for action.
紧急行动
To the extreme.
超级霓虹发声街霸蝙蝠雪橇, 启动
Neon talking super street Bat-Luge, activate.
低下头, 我们走
Let's get low and let's go.
官方实锤了! 有史以来最糟糕的蝙蝠侠系列
It's official: Worst Batman show ever.
住手, 蝙蝠螨
You have to stop this, Bat-Mite.
螳足蝽?
Ambush Bug?
即使在这个剧里面你也只是个无名英雄
You're a pretty obscure hero even for this show.
你不明白你在玩弄怎样的能力, 小孩
You do not understand the forces you're playing with, babe.
错, 我非常清楚
Wrong. I understand perfectly.
只要观众在家关掉蝙蝠侠的动画片
As viewers at home turn off Batman's show...
他的宇宙会逐渐倒塌直到完全崩溃消失
...his universe will collapse bit by bit until it's completely gone.
而一个新的更好的的系列会取代它
And a new, better show can take its place.
我不会让你对蝙蝠侠做这种事的
I'm not gonna let you do this to Batman.
他存在的意义不是用来让你来取乐的
He exists for more than just your personal enjoyment.
前方有障碍物, 启动弹射模式
Obstacle ahead: Engaging eject mode.
小心, 市民
Careful, citizen.
你可能会被超级霓虹发声街霸蝙蝠雪橇伤到
You could have been hurt by neon talking super street Bat-Luge.
蝙蝠侠, 你的宇宙正在被一点一点改变
Batman, your universe is being changed piece by piece...
然后很快会被抹去存在
...and soon it will be erased from existence.
你必须与之对抗
You've got to fight it.
你到底是谁? 你在胡说些什么?
Who in Hades are you? And what are you babbling on about?
你是泰德·麦金利, 头号♥粉丝
You're Ted McGinley. Big fan.
我是你的头号♥粉丝, 让我帮你熨裤子吧
I'm a big fan. Let me press your pants.
谁是泰德麦什么?
Ted Mc-who-y?
不, 听我说
No, you've gotta listen to me.
虚构的英雄之间应该好好谈谈
One fictional hero to another.
胡说八道, 我们不是虚构的
That's crazy talk. We're not fictional.
是的, 你是, 我也是, 但不同的是我知道我不是真的
Yes, you are. Me too, but the difference is I know I'm not real.
格鲁德的军队正在毁灭这个城市
Grodd's army is tearing the city apart.
拜托相信我
Trust me on this one.
蝙蝠螨厌倦了你的动画片, 并试图让它被砍掉
Bat-Mite got bored with your TV show and is trying to get it canceled.
他希望让你失去一切蝙蝠侠的特质
He wants to turn you away from everything that makes you Batman.
你听到了吗?
You hear that?
这是成千上万的电视遥控器换台的声音
That's the sound of millions of TV remotes changing the channel.
瞧
Look.
每有一个人换台, 这个世界就会消失一部分
With each channel change, more of this reality is disappearing.
这意味着我们必须把现实扭转回你熟悉的那个
That means we have to turn this reality back into the one you knew.
是的, 经典的英勇无畏
Yes. The classic Brave and the Bold...
既有毛骨悚然的历险
...with its winning combination of thrilling adventure...
也有半开玩笑的乐趣的双赢组合
...and tongue-in-cheek fun.
而且我们必须快点做到, 在最后一个观众换台之前
And we have to do it quick, before the last viewer switches channels.
嗨, 我在和你说呢, 不要换台
Hey, I'm talking to you. No. Don't do it.
这太难看了
This is unwatchable.
我们去看看游戏怎么样?
What do you say we check out the game instead?
好吧, 听你的. 我曾经那么喜欢这个动画片, 但现在...
Yeah, I guess so. I used to love this show, but now...
快想办法, 蝽
Think fast, Bug.
有了, 孩子们和他们的爹喜欢无理由的暴♥力♥
Got it. Kids and their dads love senseless violence.
你永远不可能打败我, 斗篷骑士
You'll never bring me down, Caped Crusader.
打我
Hit me.
什么?
What?
尽管来吧
Just do it.
他被打中了脸
He got hit in the face.
再来, 瞄准嘴巴
Again. Right in the kisser.
看, 我们争取到了一些时间
Look. We just bought some time.
我很抱歉, 螳足蝽, 我们得去阻止格鲁德和他的香蕉混乱
I'm sorry, Ambush Bug, but we need to stop Grodd and his banana-fueled bedlam.
多可悲
How sad.
你才刚刚出场, 蝽, 而这个剧集就要被砍掉了
Your debut episode, Bug, and the show is getting exterminated.
咱们走着瞧
We'll see about that.
嗨, 英雄兄弟
Hey there, fellow hero.
介意我借用一下你吗, 超级霓虹发声街霸蝙蝠雪橇?
Mind if I borrow you, neon talking super street Bat-Luge?
实际上, 我不太愿意...
Actually, I'd rather not...
低下头, 我们走...
Get low and let's go...
你这是向我宣战
You know this means war.
让我们看看你多喜欢这个黑暗骑士
Let's see how you like the Dark Knight...
如果他穿着那些可怕的变体蝙蝠侠套装的其中一套
...in another one of those hideous, variant Batman costumes...
那些你只会在超♥市♥货架上看到的版本
...you only find on store shelves.
阿尔卑斯雪山攀登者蝙蝠侠?
Alpine Ice Climber Batman?
你怎么能?
How could you?
这还仅仅是开始
And that's just the beginning.
谁还记得奥利弗表弟?
Anyone remember Cousin Oliver?
他或许很荒谬
He may be ridiculous.
但所有人都应该知道蝙蝠犬艾斯
But you of all people should know that Ace the BatHound...
它是蝙蝠侠宇宙公认的不可分割的一部分
...is an accepted part of the Batman Universe.
我不是指艾斯, 我是指他的新侄子, 庞奇奇
I wasn't referring to Ace, I was referring to his new nephew, Punchichi.
让我来揍他们, 让我来揍他们, 艾斯叔叔
Let me at them, let me at them, Uncle Ace.
我随时能揍趴大猩猩格鲁德
I can take Gorilla Grodd any day.
你这个恶魔
You fiend.
那么现在, 到了终极鲨鱼跳时间了
And now, time for the ultimate shark jump.
大清除, 和哥谭市说再见
Moving. Say goodbye to Gotham City...
因为黑暗骑士现在搬迁到了阳光明媚的加州马里布市啦
...because the Dark Knight is relocating to sunny Malibu, California.
狗狗力量
Power to the puppies.
为了一劳永逸
And just to seal the deal...
我要给蝙蝠侠一件他从来没有的东西
...I'll give Batman the one thing he would never have.
我觉得我把能做的都做了, 回见!
I'd say my work here is done. See ya!
蝙蝠侠, 你必须听我说, 这不是真正的你
Batman, you have to listen to me, this isn't you.
蝙蝠螨在把你推离真正的自我
Bat-Mite is pushing you away from who you really are.
离远点
Go away.
我放弃了
I give up.
我要如何才能说服你分清事实
How am I gonna convince you of what's real...
你甚至意识不到你从来不用枪?
...or not when you don't even know you'd never use a gun?
你说得对, 但如果没有任何事是真实的, 这一切又有什么意义?
You're right. But if none of this is real, what's the point?
事情是这样的, 蝙蝠侠
Here's the thing, Batman.
外面有许多人, 信任着你的人
There's a lot of people out there, people who believe in you.
无论是真是假, 你在这里做了什么对他们来说都很重要
Real or not, what you do in here matters.
这里不是我的家
This isn't my home.
这是不是说明我们救了这个系列?
Does this mean we'll be able to save the show?
海王, 最重要的是我们挽救了局面
The important thing, Aquaman, is that we save the day.
这是我们的本职
That's our job.
但如果这就是最后一集了
But if this is going to be the end...
我们也要让所有人牢记一件事
...let's give everyone one last thing to remember.
那个暴躁猩猩的恶毒阴谋必须被阻止
That petulant primate's poisonous ploy must be prevented.
所有事都恢复正常了
Everything's back to normal.
我依旧不敢置信我在和真正的泰德·麦金利说话
I still can't believe it. I'm talking to the real Ted McGinley.
我很抱歉, 但你显然把我和叫什么麦金利的家伙搞混了？
I'm sorry, but who"s this McGinley chap you clearly have me confused with?
他是我们这个时代中最好的戏剧演员
Only one of the finest comedic actors of our generation.
谢谢
Thanks.
我以为大家一提到我就会想到那个"跳鲨鱼"呢
Sometimes I think people only associate me with the whole "Jump the Shark" thing.
你要知道, 在我加入后, "拖家带口"这部剧继续播了七年呢
You know, Married With Children was on the air seven years after I came on.
如你所知
Just so you know.
你中计破坏角色形象了
Tricked you into breaking character.
什么? 岂...
What? Outra...
你知道吗?
You know what?
反正我也看不懂这个剧, 我要走了
I don't really get this show anyway. I'm out of here.
岂有此理!
Outrageous!
现在一切都恢复正常了
Now everything's back to normal.
但愿还不算太晚
Let's just hope it wasn't too late.
嗯, 结尾看起来还不错
Eh, it got a little better toward the end.
别自欺欺人了, 塔克
But let's not kid ourselves, Tucker.
它曾有过辉煌
It's seen better days.
你和杰伦该给蝙蝠侠一段休息时间了
It's time you and Jelenic gave this take on Batman a rest.
想一个新系列
Think about a new one.
更戏剧化一点的, 就像"彻骨寒夜"那集一样
Something more dramatic like that episode, "Chilly, Chilly Night."
取消
太好了, 我做到了
Yes. I did it.
一个更黑暗深沉的蝙蝠侠系列就要开始了
A darker Batman series is on the way.
现在我要腾出空间放我新的蝙蝠侠手办了
Now I need to make room for all the great new Batman swag I'll be collecting.
第一集里的吉啵人
The Gibbles from the very first episode.
他们真可爱, 再见了