少男奶爸（2012）

But so are you.
但你也好不到哪儿去
If it's not Hank, it's going to be someone else.
就算不是汉克 也可能有别人
Can I get a bar menu down here?
请给我来份酒水单
Thanks.
谢谢
Mom, I'm back!
妈妈 我回来了
Coach?
教练
Danny! What are you doing here?
丹尼 你怎么在这儿
In my robe?
还穿我的睡袍
It's not what it looks like.
不是你看到的这样
I'm pretty sure that's my robe.
我看到那就是我的睡袍
Hank, you ready to go in for round two?
汉克 准备好进来玩第二轮了吗
It's exactly what it looks like!
我看得一点没错
Wheeler, calm down! No, I'm not going to calm down.
维勒 冷静点 不 我没法冷静
Hank, I'll handle this. Danny, calm down.
汉克 交给我处理 丹尼 冷静点
Maybe I should just get dressed and then we--
也许我该穿好衣服 然后我们
or I could just go. Hank, no.
我还是走吧 汉克 别走
Hank, yes. Honestly, Wheeler, listen,
汉克 走吧 说实话 维勒 听我说
if you would just give me two seconds One two.
如果你能给我两秒钟 1 2 两秒到
Danny, nothing was going on here.
丹尼 什么都没发生
I've heard that before. I believe Dad called it wrestling.
这话你以前说过 爸爸管那叫摔跤
Wait. What happened to your tooth?
等等 你的牙怎么了
Other side.
不是这边
You are unbelievable!
你真是离谱
Do you know what went on here this afternoon? We babysat.
你知道今天下午怎么回事吗 我们在看小孩
That's it. But when we tried to feed Emma,
仅此而已 但我们喂艾玛吃香蕉泥时
she flung mashed bananas all over everything we were wearing.
被她扔得满身都是
Yeah, she hates those.
是啊 她不爱吃
So you weren't Hooking up with a guy I barely knew
所以你们没有... 在照顾孩子时
while I'm supposed to be babysitting? No!
与知之甚少的男人乱搞吗 绝不可能
Please! I'm not Grandma.
拜托 我又不是你外婆
Now if you'll excuse me,
恕我失陪
I still have banana in my bra.
我得清理胸罩里的香蕉泥
So you really No, we didn't!
你们真的没有... 不 没有
Strike one!
一振
Ump! You got cable?
裁判 你瞎啊
'Cause we ain't watching the same game.
我们是不是不在同一场比赛啊
So sorry I'm late again,
抱歉我来晚了
but I've brought a little peace offering.
但我买♥♥了西瓜以表歉意
It's the top of the ninth,
这可是决胜局
I don't really have time for a prank right now.
没时间跟你开玩笑
It's actually full of vodka.
这里面都是伏特加
So we drink it and then launch it.
我们可以喝完汁后把瓜打出去
There's a good chance we could clear the fence.
搞不好还能击出个本垒打呢
First time for everything.
凡事都有第一次嘛
Take a seat, Wheeler, with the rest of the ladies.
坐吧 维勒 跟那队伪娘坐一起
Ump,
裁判你个猪
turn your ringer on because you're missing your calls!
又判错了 因为你该鸣哨时不鸣哨
So how's it going? Are we winning? We want you back!
怎么样了 我们赢了吗 我们想让你回来
Please be our captain again.
求你还做我们的队长吧
What about Riley? All right, Tuck, you're on deck.
那莱丽怎么办 好吧 塔克尔 你上
Strike out again and you'll be lickin' the lines off the field.
再被三振你就等着把场地舔干净吧
Look alive, people!
都给我精神点
We already voted. The job's yours.
我们投票一致通过 你是队长
But you have to fire her.
但你得先把她炒了
The last time I told Riley something she didn't want to hear,
上次我对莱丽说了不中听的话
she made me eat crayons.
她逼我吃蜡笔
I still tear up at the sight of burnt sienna.
我现在想起来眼前还是土黄色
Don't worry, I've got your back, okay?
别担心 我罩着你 行吗
Teammates.
队友们
Riley. Don't you look cute today?
莱丽 你今天真可爱
Is that my phone?
我电♥话♥响了吧
So what's up? Everything okay?
怎么样 没事吧
Yeah. It's about the game.
有点事 是关于比赛的
Thank God.
感谢上帝
I was worried I was going to have to bring it up. Excuse me?
你不提我也要说的 你说什么
I know it's your thing,
我知道这话不该我说
but you've gotta rein in the crazy.
但你得控制下自己的情绪了
Kinda trying to do that right now.
正准备控制呢
I just think you need to take the game a little more seriously.
我觉得你得对球队上点心
You're putting me in a really tough spot with the other guys.
你这样我很难向其他人交代
Truth is I should've benched you.
其实我该让你退队
You were going to bench me?
你要把我赶出球队吗
Okay, this just got a whole lot easier.
好吧 那咱们就有话直说了
But I can't.
但我不能
You know I can't.
你知道我不能
You're the reason I'm playing again
因为你我才能重新打球
and I missed it so much.
我太怀念球场了
Thank you.
谢谢你
So what did you want to tell me?
你想要跟我说什么来着
Just...
想说
That you're doing a really great job. Thanks.
你今天表现真棒 谢谢
"Ding dong, Riley's gone.
"好消息 莱丽走人了
Ben's firing her right now."
本正在炒她鱿鱼"
What is this?
这是什么意思
The meaner version of what I was gonna say.
就是我要说的 不过这版本更直白
Coach, can we talk?
教练 能和你谈谈吗
I suppose you want your robe back.
我想你是要拿回睡袍是吗
It's not how it...
不是你想的那样...
My mom told me about what happened.
妈妈都跟我说了
I'm really sorry for overreacting like that.
很抱歉 我反应过激了
No hard feelings. Thanks for understanding.
别担心 多谢理解
And I totally promise to be better next time.
我保证下次会表现好点
I really don't think there's gonna be a next time.
我觉得没有下一次了
Don't blame her because I'm a jerk.
别因为我的过错而责怪她
It's not you, Wheeler. To be honest,
不是你的问题 维勒 说实话
I'm just not that into her. Turns out she's not my type.
我其实没那么喜欢她 她不是我的菜
Not your type? Just a matter of taste.
不是你的菜 每人品位不同嘛
So you don't like funny
你不喜欢风趣迷人
beautiful women who are totally out of your league?
而你根本配不上的女人吗
Wheeler No, that's my mom you're talking about.
维勒 别说了 你说的可是我妈妈
And the one thing I know for sure is that no one's smarter,
有一件事我很肯定 我妈妈是全世界
nicer or more caring on this whole planet.
最聪明 最善良 最会关心人的女人
And any guy would be lucky to go out with her.
能和她约会的男人都该感到幸运
I'll go out with her.
我想约她出去
Yeah. In your dreams.
得了 别做白日梦了
Are sure you feel safe coming so close?
你站这么近不怕有危险吗
I would if you put the bat down.
你放下球棒我就安全了
What is the matter with me?
我到底哪里不好
Maybe you're just too smart and too beautiful.
也许你太聪明也太漂亮了
Again, still holding the bat.
额... 你还拿着球棒哈
You can change the outside all you want,
一个人外表可以任意改变
but the inside-- not so much.
但内心不容易变
I couldn't do it-- I couldn't just have fun.
我做不到 我不能只享受乐趣
Winning is fun for you.
赢球对你来说就是乐趣
Oh my God, I love it!
天啊 爱死那感觉了
But what does that get me?
但胜利给我带来什么
A room full of trophies and nobody to share them with?
满满一屋子的奖杯 喜悦无人分享
Danny seems to have it figured out.
丹尼好像处理的不错啊
Neither of us are your brother.
我们俩都不能成为你哥
Yeah, I think I've probably heard that one or two...
是啊 我想这话我都听了
...hundred thousand times.
一二十万遍了
But he's not the brother I wanted to be like.
但我也不想成为像我哥那样的人
I once made up this whole goofy victory dance
我曾编出一支傻傻的胜利之舞
so I could show people that I can be fun too.
为了向人们证明我也很幽默
I called it the Wheeler.
我把它称为 维勒之舞
What happened? Somebody laughed and I decked them.
然后呢 有人嘲笑我 我把它们狠揍一顿
Truth. I was kind of looking forward to winning for a change.
事实是 我想通过赢球能有所改变
Never really tried it before.
之前从没这样尝试过
I think you and the
我想你和斗士队
Brawlers can figure out how to do it without me.
没有我也能找准方向